Drumsticks and Guitarpicks

"Can I get Kassi Mae to step up here?" Matt said. My heart instantly doubled its beating. Beads of sweat began to form, my breath was hitched in my throat. Sure, we talked earlier but still, the feeling was indescribable. Malachi jabbed an elbow to my ribs, causing me to jump. I hopped out of my seat and went on stage. My mind was racing with so many questions. I looked at my band mates and kept my eye contact with them. They calmed me somewhat and was preventing me from passing out.

"These five ladies have been hand selected to play in a band, picked and formed by us. They will write music together, and play together, and be the opening band for our acts on tour. Can they get a round of applause?" Matt said. I looked over and noticed the other girls whom were on stage with me as well.

Silence.

My adrenaline was starting to race. I was angered. They split my band and I up?! We worked so hard to get here and they were picking us apart? I was about to give them a piece of my mind until somebody screamed and claps were started. I didn’t even smile. I tore of stage and left the building. I was on a mission. A mission for a bar. The mini bottles of alcohol weren’t going to cut it.

I found one only 3 blocks away from where we were staying. Some bar called Duffys. I shrugged and walked in. The bartender look about his early thirties.

“Why hello there gorgeous what can I get for you?” He asked.

“Yeah yeah cut the cute talk not interested. Sex on the beach please” I demanded.

“Sure thing. Rough day?” He asked mixing my drink. I nodded.

“So much has happened in the past few weeks it’s hard to explain really.” I said. He handed me my drink and I downed in the first minute.

“Give me a shot.” I demanded. He nodded and there was my shot. I smiled and downed that as well. My buzz already working.

“Look, you might want to slow down a bit.” He said taking my glass. I glared at him but I knew he was right so I did. I just asked for a green apple Smirnoff and sipped on that for a bit.

That was until I heard the door swing open and saw no other than Brian. My eyes widened. I turned the other way and covered my face. It would of probably worked if my hair wasn’t so damn red.

“Kassi, what the hell was that?!” He said grabbing my shoulder and making me face him. Tears threatened but I wasn’t about to allow that.

“What do you mean?” I asked trying to pass as dumb.

“You very well know what I’m talking about. Gad damn woman you stormed off that stage with fuckin smoke coming out your ears. You’re just lucky your band mates know your habits and know where you like to go.” He said taking the seat next to me. I ordered two shots. The bartender whom I came to know as Wren gave us the shots, eyeing Brian. I held mine up and looked at him.

“How could I pass up a free shot?” He asked. We both smiled and downed them.

His phone started to ring. Some sappy love song. I caught a glimpse of the name and it was Michelle. My heart sunk.

“I have to take this. I’ll be right back.” He said. He got up and answered the call. I turned to Wren, I didn’t even have to say anything before two shots were in front of me. I looked at Wren and he winked before helping the next customer. I downed those and that’s when He cut me off. I didn’t blame him I felt amazing.

Another 10 minutes passed before Brian came in sighing.

“Well hello there handsome! How about another shot?” I asked smiling.

He looked at me for a few minutes before nodding.

“Wren, one more.” I said. He turned to me and gave me a death look.

“Hey, it’s not for me! It’s for this sexy beast.” I said nodding towards Brian.

“Kass, how much have you had to drink?” He asked. I started to giggle insanely.

“Just enough.” I said putting a hand on his shoulder. I took a strand of hair and started to play with it.

“Brian, you look very good right now.” I said smiling. He looked at me and chuckled.

I leaned in a little bit closer to where only he could hear me.

“Y’know… I’m so tense and stressed right now… I could use a good stress reliever right now.” I backed away slowly and bit my lip. He was closing his eyes and shaking his head a bit.

“No. I’m not doing it. We need to get you home. Now” He said pulling me up. But I tripped and fell to my knees. I don’t know what was so funny but I laughed. Brian pulled me up and eventually put me over his shoulders and carried me to my room. He put me down gently. I smiled and latched onto him. He stopped and looked down at his arms where my hands had the death lock on them. I pulled myself up. Looked him in the eyes. He started to back up. I pulled him back and locked my lips on his. He froze. Then after many failed attempts to get him to kiss back I let myself fall back down. I frowned a little bit.

“I can’t… you’re drunk… there’s Michelle… I can’t…” That was all that was said before he stormed out the door. The tears that were wanting to come out all night finally poured. I wasn’t used to getting rejected. Ever.
Than, there was a churn in my stomach. I started to heave and got to the bathroom just in time. Malachi came in and held my hair back, rubbed my back and let me empty the contents in my stomach.

The next morning my head was pounding, every little noise hurt my head. I couldn’t remember the previous night. Nothing after those shots. I was lucky enough to know Brian was there just not was said or done. Sure, it bugged me but I had it coming since I decided to get shit faced.

I got up and looked at the mirror. My hair was a mess my eyes were red and swollen. I only applied cover-up and mascara and put on sunglasses. I pulled my hair back and got dressed. I went off to the room where everyone was hanging out. Right when I entered the room I felt ostracized. I ran over to my former band mates and tried to avoid Brian.

I wasn’t clear on what happened the previous night but, whatever happened made things feel awkward. And I was to blame. I just didn’t know why.