Watching You

I felt empty as I sat alone in one of the extravagant courtyards this palace held. The starlit sky had been my blanket of comfort as I gazed upon the twinkling of each star. A feeling of loneliness came throughout me when I walked away from the one I held the most dear to me. How could I walk out on him when we had known that we needed each other to be balanced? This emptiness crept on into my heart, into my mind, and into my soul. None of anything could fill the void that I felt. If only I hadn’t turned my back on him. No, this was also Thor’s fault. He made me want to hate Loki for what he has done to another realm besides our own. He wanted me to despise him, and it was almost working.

I loved him with all of my heart, but he did turn into a monster that I could not control. He was his own. No one could control him. An untamed beast that no one could handle. That was Loki. This beast drove me to insanity and back. My feelings were in an absolute whiplash with him. I did not understand what my heart was trying to tell me to do for once, and I normally did know what I wanted. Now I was in a stand still. Nothing made sense to me.

A sigh escaped my lips as I brought myself to leave the beautiful courtyard, wanting to get rid of the image of beauty. Everything displeased me at this point. There was nothing that would bring me to my normal self again. If only things played out different, and maybe I would feel at right. I just wanted him by my side as the Loki that I once knew. The Loki that I wanted to marry, but never got to because of his disappearance before his outrage on earth.

“Zenya,” I heard a familiar voice, and I stopped to look back at the blonde God that walked towards me. He was wearing his clean armor with his red cape to go with it. His hair was nicely kept. An air of power floated around him that made me shiver in his presence. “Are you well?” His voice was full of concern as he approached me.

My troubled eyes met his curious ones briefly before looking away from him. “I am broken, Odinson,” I spoke to him, my voice was not confident, but broken and barely audible, “I betrayed Loki and I am lost.” I could not lie to the son of Odin as he saw through most of them. I did not know how he did, but he knew that I was lying to him.

“You did what seemed fit, you cannot bring down sadness upon yourself,” he told me as he walked closer to me. His hand settled down lightly on my shoulder, causing me to flinch slightly, but soon relaxed as he gave me a reassuring soft squeeze. “I know of you as a strong woman, warrior and not, you should not let my brother break you,” he spoke soothingly.

My eyes traveled to his once more, and noticed a small smile on his face to give me comfort. “Why do you worry for me, Thor?” I questioned, ridding the formalities that I was giving off earlier. “I am sure that I mean nothing to you, but a fellow warrior. I love your brother, and you know so little of me, but only my talents in fighting. Why, Thor? Why do you worry so much over me?”

A look of shock crossed his features, but then he simply chuckled. I watched him curiously as he chuckled, but his actions soon confused me. His hand was placed gently upon my cheek, and he looked me in the eyes. “Is it wrong to care for someone, Zenya?” he asked, a sincere look crossing his normal expression. The heat from his hand radiated to my cheeks as he touched me as I felt his power seep through his touch. There had been confusion floating in my head. Did he not have feelings for the woman that he found on Earth? I could not think this too far, it was only a kind gesture that I did not understand.

“No, I suppose not,” I replied weakly, my voice above a whisper. Another light chuckle escaped from him, and he brushed away my hair from my forehead. I was bewildered by his actions as he set his lips upon my forehead for a brief moment before pulling away to look down at me. He only smiled at me.

“You do not deserve to feel pain,” he told me, now taking a step back from me. “Stay well, Zenya. You know where to find me if you wish to talk.” He gave me a bow before stepping off to continue with what he was doing before he saw me. I stared after him in disbelief, and soon found myself sitting back on the bench that I have occupied moments before.

He shouldn’t care for someone like me. I did not deserve his pity. I brought my fingers to my forehead, lightly running where his lips were. A sigh escaped my lips as I thought of it. Perhaps Loki did watch what happened, but I did not feel guilty when I should have been. The feeling being around Thor had been different. His touch had been different than Loki’s. It made me wonder how his hands felt against my bare flesh, to feel his lips upon mine, and to feel him overpowering me.

My hand quickly went to my mouth as I gasped, breathing heavily as I thought of the thunder God in a different matter. These thoughts were not going to escape my head as my urges were too strong. I looked up at the starlit sky once more, thinking of the options that I had that ran through my head.

---

Thor

Zenya had been on my mind since she took the stand to go with me away from Loki. I hated to see her hurt the way she was. The look of lost had been so evident on her face. A warrior had a breaking point, and this was hers. She could not get the one that she loved back with her, as much as she tried. Even speaking to the All-Father could not even change his mind to let Loki go. Loki had a punishment to fulfill, and it was to be stuck in that cage of his until our father said was fine for him to go.

A sigh escaped my lips as I ran my hand through my hair, sitting on my bed as I thought things through. Zenya was a beautiful Asgardian woman that was broken and thrown aside by a God. My brother did not deserve a woman to her calibur if he continued to play with her emotions. He did not understand the torment that has gone through.

Curse my brother, he was not thinking clearly about what would happen to her. Did he ever think once of how lost and confused she would be without him? She watched him grow from a boy to the man that he was. Possibly she did know him more than I did, but I did not want to admit that.

My thoughts were broken as there came a knock on the door to my chambers. Before I could respond, the door opened slowly to reveal a familiar woman that I have been thinking about. A smile came to my face as I saw her, motioning for her to come in. She did so, closing the door behind her. My eyes went to her choice of dress, wearing a white satin dress that was tied with a gold ribbon. When I looked up at her, she came to me and sat beside me on my bed.

“Is there something wrong, Zenya?” I questioned, gazing upon her, looking into her brown eyes that held many emotions. She placed her finger to my lips to silence me, and I grew confused at her actions. What was she trying to pull? A smile graced her beautiful face as she looked at me, that smile was for me. She only smiled for Loki, and this time her smile had been for me. In addition, she placed her hands upon my face, bringing herself up slowly and did the unthinkable.

Her lips were on mine, making me become shocked. Were her lips only for Loki? I acted on my feelings for this woman, wrapping my arms around her waist as I brought her to be lying on her back and I straddling her. Our lips did not disconnect not once. I have sworn to myself that I would never touch a woman that was Loki’s. She was just too beautiful to let go.

For a moment, I ceased the lock we had on our lips. Breathing heavily, I asked her, “What of Loki?”

“Hush, do not speak of him, this is my decision,” she responded, “Do not let your mind wander off, Odinson.”

With that, her lips were upon mine once more.