You've Gotta Sh-Sh-Shake on It!

I sighed happily as I turned onto a once familiar street, and counted my way down the doors. 15, 17,19, 21... Ah, 23. I’d been at uni in London for the past four years, and I was finally done. I was finally back in shitty little Merthyr Tydfil, for the first time since I’d left to go to uni in the first place. I’d spent all day yesterday with my family, and today, I was going around to see my best friend.

I met Sean Smith at nursery. Even at the tender age of three, I’d been shy, awkward, and to be honest, just plain weird. I’d spent the first week or so of nursery by myself, pretending I didn’t care that none of the other kids wanted to play with me. Then one day, out of the blue, Sean saunters over, plonks down next to me and starts playing with me, didn’t even introduce himself or anything. We’d been completely inseparable ever since, until I went to uni, of course.

I was expecting to spend the whole day grovelling, begging for his forgiveness. He’d been heartbroken when I left, swearing he’d never forgive me for leaving him. Normally, given his history for dramatics, I wouldn’t have believed him, but the look in his eyes, the way his voice had shaken when he’d said it... I knew getting him to forgive me would be almost impossible.

I knocked on the door, then waited patiently as I heard some shouting on the other side. When it finally swung open, I looked up, and found myself staring into the eyes of an angel. As I took in his features, the same bright brown eyes as Sean, the shaggy brown hair that was just a few shades lighter than Sean’s had been before he bleached it... Basically, he was Sean, without the very few flaws he had. My brain went into overdrive, trying to figure out who this was, and it only came up with one conclusion. Surely, this couldn’t be Jay, Sean’s weird, ugly duckling-esque little brother?

I forced myself back to the present, praying I hadn’t been staring at him like a total creep for too long, but judging by the way he was staring at me expectantly, the exact same way he’d been when he first opened the door, only a few seconds had passed.
“Hey, Sean here?” I asked, trying to act as normal as possible, which wasn’t that easy for me, even when my palms weren’t sweating, and my chest didn’t feel like it was going to explode. I hadn’t gotten any less weird in the 19 years since I’d met Sean, so normal wasn’t usually much of an option for me.
“Yeah, come on in.” He replied, waving me in as he moved out of the way.

I followed him to the living room, where Sean was sprawled across the couch, watching Jeremy Kyle, a bored, yet fascinated look on his face. He looked up when we came in.
“Who was at the- Oh, for fuck sake, Jay! I said if it was Gavin, not to let him in!” He snapped, and I sighed sadly. Looks like he was still mad. Jay frowned at that, looking between the two of us in confusion.
“That’s not Gavin, is it? I don’t remember him lookin’ like that.” He mused, and Sean snorted.
“Well, admittedly, he has gotten a better sense of style, and a better haircut, and... Contacts or laser?” He asked, motioning to my eyes.
“Contacts.” I replied simply, deciding it was better if I didn’t say anything to piss him off even more. He nodded, and turned back to the TV.
“Fair enough. You can go now.” He told me disinterestedly, and I completely ignored him, sauntering over and pushing his legs off the couch, then plonked myself down beside him.

I heard Jay mumble something about ‘giving us time to talk’, then he made a hasty exit. I found myself mourning the fact that I wouldn’t be able to stare at such a beautiful creature anymore, and almost slapped myself. He was only about 17! 18 at the very most, probably still at high school! I turned my thoughts away from the fact that I felt like a paedophile, and physically turned to Sean, who was still watching Jeremy Kyle, and pretending I wasn’t there.

I sighed, and tried to think of something to say. Anything would do, really, just to get the ball rolling. But, me being me, my mind was totally blank. I opened my mouth, deciding to just say the first thing that happened to tumble out, but it turned out I didn’t have to. It was at that moment that Sean let out an explosive sigh, then turned and pulled me into a rib-crushing hug.
“You ever leave me all alone again, and I’ll fucking kill you.” He mumbled into my shoulder as I sighed with relief, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing in return.

We ended up sitting there for hours, just catching up on everything, until I tried to ask how his family had been doing, and ended up saying:
“So, when did Jay get so good looking?” I mentally slapped myself as Sean gaped at me for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. I frowned as he continued to laugh for almost 5 minutes, until he finally calmed down, and made my frown turn to a scowl as he leaned over and pinched my cheeks.
“Gavvy’s got a crush, Gavvy’s got a crush!” He teased in a singsong as he let go of my cheeks, falling back against the couch as he started cackling again.
“I fucking don’t! He just... used to look all... weird and gangly, but now, he’s... gorgeous, all of a sudden.” I tried to defend myself, but Sean just kept grinning at me in that knowing way, until I finally sighed in defeat. “Fine, I have a crush. But trust me, if he wasn’t your brother, you’d agree with me, the guy is now officially a babe.” I admitted, and he grinned triumphantly.

I sighed and flopped back against the couch, staring at the ceiling as Sean shuffled over until our sides were pressed together, and rested his head on my shoulder.
“S’matter, Gav?” He asked softly, used to my weird mood swings, having put up with them for so long.
“I feel like a total creep. I mean, he’s only... What, 17, 18?” I muttered, sighing deeply as I resigned myself to this sudden melancholy.
“He’s not that much younger, I mean, it’s not like he’s 13 or something. Now that, would be weird.” Sean tried to reassure me.
“I know, but I mean... I can remember when the kid was fucking born. That can’t be right.” I sighed, and he laughed softly.
“I was so pissed, remember? I’d wanted a puppy for my birthday, and ended up with this screaming, scrunched up, alien looking thing instead.” He reminisced, and I found myself laughing with him.
“Yeah, and then when your parents finally thought to explain to you that he was your brother, you got so upset, ‘cause you thought they were replacing you or something. You ended up talking me into ‘running away’ with you.” I added, and we both laughed.
“We thought hiding in Rhys’ tree house counted as running away. We lasted... What? Two hours?” He asked with a laugh, and I chuckled.
“Yeah, ‘til we went in to use their toilet and his dad took us home.” I reminded him, and we both burst out laughing.

The following Saturday, I was back at Sean’s, this time with my family in tow. It was his dad’s birthday, and they were having a big barbeque to celebrate. I spent the next few hours catching up with the rest of our friends; dodging both Sean’s older, female relatives, who apparently still hadn’t gotten over their need to pinch my cheeks and coo over how cute I was whenever they saw me; and the younger ones, who seemed to have decided that I was their type, and that I was interested in orange, slaggy 14 year olds. They seemed to spend the afternoon alternating between taking turns trying to flirt with me, and fighting over who I fancied the most. The answer to which was, of course, none of them.

Finally, I managed to slip away from everyone. The barbeque part of the party had ended an hour or so ago, so the back garden was blissfully empty. I wandered down to the far end of the garden, leaning against the fence and sliding down until I was sitting on the grass, my forehead resting on my knees. I was only alone for a few minutes, though, before I heard someone approach me, then sit down beside me. I let out a soft groan, desperate to be alone for just a little longer.
“I can go, if you don’t want me here.” A soft voice told me, and my head shot up. Jay was sitting beside me, looking unsure as he chewed his lip. I let out a relieved laugh, and shook my head.
“Nah, thought you were one of the slaggy tangerines, is all.” I reassured him, and he laughed softly.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, until he cleared his throat, and I turned to him. He was chewing his lip again, looking as nervous as I felt.
“So, uh... Sean said you like me... As in... He thinks you fancy me...” He told me haltingly, and I honestly thought my heart had stopped. I was going to fucking kill Sean! I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my neck as I tried to think of an answer. In the end, I decided to just man up and be honest.
“Yeah, I do. I know it’s weird, ‘cause I’m a bit older than you and that, but-” He cut me off then, by gently gripping my chin, turning my head and pressing his lips to mine. This time, my heart really did stop. It must have.

The kiss went on for several minutes, and just as his tongue slipped into my mouth, I heard people walking down the garden, and the unmistakeable whiney, nasally voices of the tangerines. They all stopped suddenly, and I knew they’d seen us.
“For fuck sake! How come the gay boy always ends up getting all the good ones?!” One of them screeched, and I pulled away, resting my forehead against Jay’s as we laughed at them.

After they’d stormed away to sulk, Jay stroked my face with his knuckles, kissing me again as he grinned.
“She was wrong, y’know. I didn’t get the good one. I got the best one.” He told me softly, and I felt myself blush. I kissed him again, and it was then that I realised it. Now that I was actually with him, I didn’t feel like a total creep anymore. Life was officially perfect.