Wildflower

Harry and I had yet to have our talk.

I woke up before he did and went downstairs. I was in search of some food. No food had been anywhere need my person yesterday, so I was starving. And it looked like Niall had leftover Chinese.

Chicken lo mein and two egg rolls.

And that was why I loved Niall. He always had food. Being friends with a bottomless pit had it's advantages. After warming it up for a few minutes I dug in. Now it's time to eat and explore.

This house was massive. He had a living room and family room. A music room. A ginormous kitchen. Three bedrooms. Three bathrooms. All of which I'm guessing he didn't decorate himself. He more then likely hired an interior decorator. Two car garage. Gorgeous backyard. He had a pool. And a hot tub. And a soccer goal. I may have abandoned my food and went to pretend I was David Beckham.

"And he goes left! And he goes right!" I exclaimed, mimicking a sports announcer. "Oh, he lost it! Will he get it back? And he does! And he shoots! And he scores the game winning point!"

I did a little victory dance singing to myself. "I made the goal. I did it. Oh yeah. I'm awesome."

"I wouldn't go as far as to say awesome." The sudden voice almost made me scream. Quickly turning to face the house, I took notice to Niall leaning against the porch railing with my Chinese food in his hand.

"You ass." I took a deep breath trying to slow down my racing heart. "I almost had a heart attack."

He just laughed. He just laughed and continued eating my breakfast. As much as I tried to glare at him, I couldn't. He was my Niallkins. I couldn't be mad at him. He was my favorite. He was like that little brother that you could never get mad at because he was so adorable. So when he shot me that big, cheeky grin of his all I could do was smile back. He knew that I couldn't be mad at him. Like I said, he was an ass.

"Give me that back." I reached for the styrofoam container, but he moved it out of my reach. "Niall, give me! It's my breakfast!" Stomping my foot like a child was needed in this moment, so I did it and gave him my best puppy dog eyes Liam eyes. He caved in record time. Damn. I must be doing something right. With a victorious grin, I snatched the container from him and started chowing down.

It may have been because I haven't eaten in twenty four plus hours, but this was the best damn chicken lo mein and egg rolls I'd ever tasted. I would move over here just to be close to wherever it was that he got this from. The last bite was in my mouth when Niall spoke up.

"So, I saw Harry's car outside," he started. A noddle got caught in my throat making me choke a little. "Did he never leave last night?"

"Guess not," I coughed. "He came in when I was sleeping and I told him to shut up and sleep or we would never have the talk he wanted to have." I gave a short shrug. Niall shook his head.

"You have him whipped." My eyebrows shot up. Soft laughter fell from his lips. "You lot aren't even dating and you have him pussy whipped. I swear to god, he'd get back with you in an instant."

But why? He cheated on me. I broke up with him. Yeah, I missed him but that didn't excuse the fact that he cheated on me. I missed Chris sometimes too, but I knew he only used me for sex. With Harry it was different. I loved Harry. I didn't love Chris. Harry was the first boy that I had loved. He was the fist boy that I accidently told that I loved him. He made me feel different. When he looked at me it was like there were a million and one tiny butterflies flapping their wings as fast as they could inside my stomach. My heart, as cheesy as it sounds, skipped beats. My mind went blank. My hands got sweaty. My cheeks tinged pink. I had no control over what he did to me.

But none of that, none of what he made me feel, would change the fact that he cheated on me.

"I don't want a boyfriend right now." And I didn't. "I just want to do me for a while."

A sigh came from Niall. Looking over, I let out a sigh myself when I saw the look he was giving me. He knew me too well. He knew I'd take him back if I had the chance. And I knew he wouldn't tell anyone. Lulu didn't even know that if I had the chance, I'd take Harry back. The fact that Niall knew me well enough to know without me saying anything, scared me. He knew me better then I did myself.

"You don't have to lie to me."

"Don't start, Niall."


"Veve!" Liam exclaimed.

"Liam!" I exclaimed. We held out our arms and both gave each other big bear hugs. "I missed you, Puppy Face!"

"I missed you too, Short Stuff!"

I pulled away with a huff. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you called me short and move on to my next favorite member of One Direction," I spoke with a poke to his ribs. "Louis, I can honestly say that I've missed your sassy ass."

"Who wouldn't?" With a roll of my eyes, I gave him a hug and then moved on to Zayn. "Oh mysterious tattooed one." I put my hands together like I was praying and did a short bow. He chuckled. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Don't question it. You'll only get confused." We gave each other a hug before I dropped back down on Niall's couch. Lulu sat by Zayn and interlocked hands. Ugh couples. They disgusted me.

"So Pocahontas," Louis started. I cut him off. "Pocahontas? What're you talking about?"

He motioned to my head. Oh yeah. My flower crown headband. He continued shortly after. "How's normal, minimum wage life treating yeh?"

He said it like it was funny. Like me working minimum wage was something that he got a good laugh out of. And it made me kind of angry. Not everyone could be a million air popster. Some of us had to work minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet. We took what we could get. I didn't have a choice in getting a job where I made seven fifty plus commission. He had a choice in staying in a group with the boys. He made millions whereas I barely made enough to cover the monthly house payment for Niall's place.

This wasn't how I wanted my life to go. I didn't want to work a minimum wage job in retail. I wanted to be a famous photographer. He just didn't get it. And he never would. I took what I got and I ran with it.

"Pretty damn good actually," I replied matter-of-factly. "It's good to be home and I get to see my family all the time."

"I heard you have a romantic love interest with a fast food lad."

Honestly, Louis? Did you feel the need to be such an ass right now? Here I was in a foreign country with my best friend to see you and the boys perform at the Olympics. I came here on my own free will. I didn't expect to be bombarded with smartass comments.

"I have to go make a call." I stood up and made my way out of the living room. I went straight out the backdoor and to the soccer goal where I sat on the grass in the middle of the goal. "Asshole," I mumbled.

Yeah, I’m throwed off,
It ain’t about the money
I’ma blow it all
I made my own lane
Let’s roll! Let’s roll!--

"Hello?"

"I got this feeling that I needed to call you," Gavin said as a greeting. "Was I right? Or am I totally losing my mind?"

He had his Yoda tendencies.

I couldn't help but laugh. "For once in your life you aren't losing your mind." Picking a blade of grass, I remembered the time difference. "Wait, what time is it there? London is like six hours ahead."

"Um, it's like six in the morning," he replied nonchalantly. My eyes grew two times their normal size. "Gav, what the hell? Don't you have work? You can't be late for work just to talk to me," I chastised. My mom instincts were kicking in and if I could reach through this phone and slap him, I would've done it a few times already.

His response was a laugh. "Don't try and act all motherly when you're in a different country."

"Oh shut up," I huffed. "But for real, don't worry about me and just get your ass to work."

"V, don't push me away. Just tell me what's wrong." Why did he know me so well? "And I'm off today. It's raining so they called off the construction for today."

With a sigh, I ran my hand over the bright green grass. Did I want to tell him about everything? There's some things I tell him and there's some I don't. Maybe I did need to tell someone, but I didn't know if he was the one I wanted to tell. Knowing h&m, he'd book the next flight out and be here in no time. He was just like that. Now Kohl, he would've forced it out of me and then flown over here no matter what. Having big brothers had it's pros and cons.

"Harry's pestering me about us talking and Louis is giving me shit about my minimum wage job." I caved. I always did with him and Kohl. It never failed. They could give me a look and I'd cave. To be honest, it was quite pathetic on my part. I needed to live up to the big bad strong hardass front I put up.

"I'm calling Harry."

"Gav, no—"

"And tell that little prick to quit running his mouth or he'll have me on his front steps. Kapeesh?" A loud sigh emitted from me. "Kapeesh?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "Kapeesh."

"And V?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let what any of them say get you down. They don't know what it's like to be you. All they have to worry about is not getting mobbed by fans. You do you and don't worry what anyone else has to say."

"Have I ever told you that you're one of my two favorite big brothers?"

He chuckled. "No, but let's be honest here, I'm your only favorite big brother."

"I'm not getting into this," I said. "Goodbye Gav. Love you. Tell Mom I love her too."

"Whatever. I'm still telling Kohl you said I'm your favorite." I really wanted to slap him. "I will. Bye V. Love you too."

Lady Justice @VeveDarling
you do you & don't worry about what anyone else has to say

Lady Justice @VeveDarling
Can you like just quit touring and come rescue me @ZRod


Being this far away from my mom at this moment in my life was hard. I went to her with everything. She made everything better. All my problems and my worries, she made me forget about them. Right now, right in this moment, I wished she was here.

It was awkward. And I hated awkward.

"So," I started, breaking the awkward silence. "How've you been? Your mom and sister good?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they're, uh... they're alright."

I nodded. And here comes the awkward silence again.

"Do you have any idea how many pancakes we could be eating right now? It's astonishing."

I almost busted out laughing. Of course he would say that. He had an odd obsession with pancakes. "I myself, couldn't be eating too many because I'm not a fast eater," I replied. "And I have a small mouth."

He chuckled. "I think your mouth is cute if that makes you feel better."

He thinks my mouth is cute.

I cleared my throat loudly. "So, uh, why'd you make me dinner at your house?" He'd made me his specialty; grilled cheese with the crusts cut off. "I could've ate grilled cheese at Niall's."

Now it was his turn to clear his throat. "I want to talk, Veve."

And there it was. He would never let it rest. That was one of his quirks. He never let anything rest until he got what he wanted. That and he was stubborn as hell. With a shrug, I responded, "There's nothing to talk about, Harry."

"But there is," he sighed. "I need you to know that I'm sorry for hurting you. I never meant to in any way."

God. That was golden right there. I need you to know that I'm sorry for hurting you. He was sorry for hurting me. He doesn't even know how bad he hurt me. He broke my heart. He doesn't know the half of it. I never meant to in any way. That was the icing on the cake. If he never meant to, why did he do it?

I let out a dark chuckle. "Then why'd you do it? Why did I have to find out that you cheated on me through a picture that your band mate sent me?"

He was silent. And that was good. It meant he knew he was in the wrong. And boy was he in the wrong.

"I would never think of doing that to you. I'm—"

And now he chose to explode. "You told me you loved me! I'm only eighteen! I don't know what love it! I was scared! I didn't know what to fucking do!"

Him yelling, it took me back to the night when he yelled at me and Niall back in Miami for staying out by ourselves. I jumped as I sat on his couch. He's not your dad. You're going to be fine. Just calm down.

"It was an accident," I mumbled.

"What?" He asked, exasperated.

"It was an accident," I said more firmly. "I didn't mean to say it."

He let out a chuckle of sorts. "What do you mean you didn't mean to say it? How do you not mean to say 'I love you'?"

I shrugged, pawing at my eyes. Damn tears. "I just do, okay!? I was jet lagged and my brain wasn't working right." Deep breaths. In and out. Make the tears go away. "Don't turn this around on me. I'm not the one who fucked this all up. You did. Not me."

I was tired of his shit. Beyond fed up. He was trying to push all this stuff on me when I had nothing to do with it. I didn't make him cheat on me. I didn't make him swap spit with that bleached whale. He did it. He did it all. He had his own mind and controlled himself. None of it was my fault. It was all his.

"If you're going to blame all this crap on me, then I suggest you rethink everything," I stated. "Because I sure as hell ain't gonna let you get away with it."