The Outsider

My name is Jessica. I’m thirteen. And I’m an outcast.

I am known for being smart academically, even though my intellect stretches much further. I am the girl who’s known for being nice and is, therefore, known for being a pushover. I am the girl who is insignificant in every way. And this all began two years ago.

When you start middle school, all you want is to fit in. And I did. In fact, I did more than fit in. I was popular. I was liked. I was the person to know. And then I met Dylan.

Benjamin Disraeli once said, “The magic of our first love is our ignorance that it can never end,” Which makes sense. Dylan was my sun, my moon, my stars. He was my everything.

We would stay up late texting about nothing of importance; we’d hold hands in the courtyard. You have to remember we were only in the sixth grade. That was about all we could do. Anything more was taboo.

And that was all we did. So imagine my surprise when I came to school to find SLUT scrawled on my locker in blood red letters.

I turned to my best friend. “Very funny,” I said, laughing. I mean, it had to be only a joke. She ignored me.

“Tracy, what’s going on?” She turned to look at me, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me, slut?” She spat the words and walked away.

I found out what happened later. Apparently Dylan had not only told everyone that I’d let him kiss me, but that I’d cheated on him. It was all a lie.

My life was over. And now he was dating my best friend.

I spent the rest of the year trying to explain that nothing happened and trying to get back my friends, as well as our mutual friends. And it took a while, but it worked.

I find refuge in my music and in loving my friends. But I’m still not sure that they believe what I said happened.

Because I used to be the girl who was known for being smart. I used to be the girl who was known for being nice. I used to be the girl who was insignificant in every way.

Now I am infamous. For being a slut.

Even when I’m with my friends, I feel like an outsider.