Walking Backwards

It’s been two weeks since my encounter with Edward at Port Angeles. What can I say, that was probably a once in a life time thing. I mean, it was a huge coincidence that Edward just so happened to popped up as I was being attacked by some stranger… I don’t even like thinking about what could have happened had he not been there. Although, someone seen us at the diner on the corner however and supposedly there’s a little rumor going around that we are an item. There is no doubt in my mind that Jessica is one of the many contributors to said rumor. Plus, everyone knows the only thing to do in Forks is to gossip. So of course they are going to spread anything they can like wild fire, no matter how many times you deny it.

I do have to say, however, that I’ve partially enjoyed the past few weeks. Mainly because Edward and I have gotten closer and we have been talking more and more. Although, everything hasn’t been all peaches and cream at home. I have another sore shoulder like the time I moved here. Vincent got angry with me because I forgot to lock the back door after I had taken out the trash. I’m lucky that my face didn’t bruise because I had been slung into the kitchen cabinets and remember hitting my jaw on the counter before blacking out.

All I remember is waking up with a searing headache and a badly bruised shoulder from the collision. Which is slightly better than being whipped, the marks on my back have finally healed and I don’t think they will scar, I’ve been applying some ointment to them just in case. Hate to say but a sore shoulder doesn’t get in the way of track which is what we are focusing on in gym. “Positives and negatives,” I mumble to myself as I look out at the stars from my windowsill seat.

“I hope it snows more,” I smile while wishing on a passing star. Hey, who knows? It may actually work. “If it does I will peg Edward in the face.” My smile widens as I can simply imagine the look on his face. I get up and stretch, the energy fleeting from my body. Walking across the room I crawl into bed and hold my pillow to my chest as I curl up around it my blankets draped around me.

I yawn and drift off to my reoccurring dream. I’ve been having it almost every night; some people think that they mean something… I’m a little skeptical about that. Anyway it’s the one where I am in the forest which shifts into a house, then there’s a boy—no a man, and as soon as I’m about to find out whom he is and what he’s doing there… My alarm goes off.

“Gah, I seriously do need a different alarm.” I carefully got out of the bed and smiled to myself. See, a few days ago, I learned something, a new trick if you will. In order to not go crashing down to the ground, I have to unwrap myself before getting up! I am so very clever, I know. It’s very useful seeing as I don’t like such a rude awakening, and the hard floor can be so cold sometimes. I get dressed and begin my walk down the stairs. “Huh, only 6:01,” I mumble while looking at the decorative clock on the wall. It usually takes a whole lot longer for me to get dressed and get ready.

Seeing as it is really early I begin to tidy up the living room a little. Picking up empty beer cans and bottles, Vincent again went on another drinking binge. I stayed in my room last night, I could hear him fumbling through the hall… I had wished that I wasn’t there it’s why I stayed up for so long. “I hate alcohol,” I roll my eyes as I throw them away. I’ll take the trash out when I get home. I grab a can of canned coffee and a strawberry cereal bar as I head out.

Holding onto the cereal bar with my mouth I step out with my keys in hand so I can lock the door. I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. It had snowed. Just like I wished the night before! I danced and twirled my way to my car. I throw my bag in the car to the passenger seat, “Edward, you best watch your back today.” I chuckled and slid into the car. I played Perfume on my way to school; their upbeat music is just what I needed.

After pulling into the school I finished my cereal bar and got out. I ran up to Mike with a little surprise hidden behind my back. “Hey Mike,” I yelled happily.

“Why are you yelling when you’re right beside me,” he yawned, covering his mouth with his hand and using his other arm to stretch. He looked exhausted. I guess it was too early in the morning for some people. I however was full of energy, partly from the good mood and partly from my coffee.

“Awe, Mikey-poo isn’t in a good mood.” I pouted childishly before taking a sip off my cold coffee.

“Loser,” he smiled down at me. I could tell I was amusing to him. Aside from Edward, Mike was my best friend. We were always scheming up things in class. He reminded me of a brother that I never had. We would be an awesome duo.

“Yep… and guess what this loser is about to do?” I slipped my can snuggly into my bag so that it wouldn’t spill when I was jumping around or anything, last thing I would need is for it to spill on my school books… not like I care.

“Huh,” he looked at me with a puzzled expression. I grabbed the waist of his pants and pulled back just enough to drop a wet cold snow ball into them. “Hey,” he screamed loudly as he hopped around trying to get it out. What a sight this way, I should do this more often. Talk about blue balls.

“Wake up call,” I sniggered as I ran off, more like pranced off. I wonder if I could pull something like that with Edward. Well, I’ll just have to find out one day, now won’t I?

“This isn—isn’t funny! It’s freaking cold,” his face was turning red as he bawled after me. The people around us was pointing and laughing. Of course, I had to entertain my peers. I never failed to do something that would cause someone to laugh; it was like my personal aim in life.

“Well, duh, it’s snow!” I twirled around with my arms spread. I ran into the building blissfully. My nose and cheeks red from how cold it was outside, I was rubbing my hands together to try and get some warmth back into them.

“Why are you always picking on me, what have I ever done to you?” Mike came in, the same red tint to his face. His teeth were chattering a bit.

“Because Eric and Jessica are never around for me to pick on… Therefor I nominated you, hun. You should feel proud, honored even that you get to amuse me, morning after morning, day after day.” I smiled up at him innocently. “Are you mad at me?” I jutted out my bottom lip and gave him my all too famous puppy dog eyes as I pouted.

“Yes—Ye—Ye… No,” he shook his head while hanging it in shame. I knew Mike could never stay mad at me; it was just the way he was, too carefree to actually hold a grudge against anyone.

“Good,” I chirped as I skipped my way to my classroom after giving Mike a quick hug. I told Eric what I had done and he snorted with laughter and almost fell out of his chair, claiming he wish he had been there to see it. I then told him that if he were I would more than likely have done the same thing to him, this caused him to go completely red.

No one was safe from my perverted wrath. Sometimes I felt like a joking God. It was perfect; I loved to laugh just as much as I loved to make other people laugh. So I used people, not use in like a negative fashion, use as in… just to amuse me damn, that sounds really bad.

The rest of class was long and it was boring as any other day. I couldn’t have even told you what the class was discussing about; it’s funny though because I always have decent grades. I’m not brilliant by any means, I just do my work. I kept a close eye on the clock, waiting just for the right time. I raised my hand when I noticed there were ten before lunch.

“Yes Miss Payne,” the teacher drawled lazily after turning back towards us students.

“I need to use the restroom.” She was the only teacher I had who would not let you leave without hearing your excuse. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous.

“Alright, you may go,” she gave me a forced smile that she gave to most students.

“Thank you,” I was getting up and grabbed my things.

“Miss Payne, I don’t believe you will need to take your bag with you.” She looked at me quizzically.

“B-But… it’s personal…” I pretended that I was trying to avoid the topic and make it look like I needed to go to the bathroom for feminine needs. She nodded her head. I got up and walked out of class. I jogged to the perfect spot; it was right behind a tall pillar close to the cafeteria entrance. I. Was. Going. To. Get. Him.

My breath was coming out in plumes of fog, I remember being a kid and pretending that I was smoking. I would like to say that things were easier back then, even though I knew they weren’t. It was freezing, my teeth were clicking together and it felt like all the warmth was leaving my nose and cheeks. Finally kids started to swarm outside. Target spotted, I grinned to myself as I picked up a hand full of snow and formed it into a ball. I reared my hand back and threw it at him, hitting him square in the back of the head. I snickered as I hid back behind the pillar again. I heard the roaring laughter from everyone, Emmet was laughing the loudest he had an easily recognizable laugh. I could feel eyes on me. After a few seconds, I just knew that he had left so I began my trot to the warm building, after hitting a few innocent bystanders with snow balls, that is. It was hilarious hearing some of the things they said afterwards. I even hit poor Jessica who yelled my name… party pooper.

I waltzed in, humming merrily to myself, and grabbed some pizza and some hot cocoa to warm myself up. I was still shivering slightly as I slid in front of Edward. “Hello Edward dear,” I cooed and took a sip of my cocoa. “Lovely weather outside, am I right?”

“I know it was you,” he stated drearily.

“What could you be talking about? Oh by the way hun, you have some snow in your hair.” I pointed as I took a small bite of my pizza and tried not to smile or give any indication that I knew what he was talking about.

“I wonder who did that,” he glared playfully as he wiped his hair clean of any snow.
“You… You aren’t implying that my little weak arms threw a snowball at you, are you?” My hand covered my chest as I faked being mildly shocked.

“How did you ever assume that.” He stated, rather than asked while rolling his eyes.

“Haha, it was hilarious. You should have seen yourself, it was epic.” I started laughing while pointing a finger at him. I felt it. It was wet and it was cold. I blinked a few times before wiping the snow from my face. “Edward,” I growled. “That was cheap,” I pouted. He was smirking while his eyes were laughing as if saying, In your face, literally.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold, right Jewlz?” He smirked as he wiped his hand off on his jacket.

“Oh hush,” I rolled my eyes. I still hadn’t stopped from shivering. I felt like a Chihuahua who has had way too much caffeine. I held my cocoa tighter while sipping it. It was pretty silly now that I thought about it. I wore a light long sleeve shirt but no jacket.

“You alright,” Edward asked, staring at my pink nose.

“Absolutely splendid,” I munched on my pizza with chattering teeth. I didn’t mind being cold, no it was way better than being hot, by far. I got up and threw my things away, Edward followed me. In the hall I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Here,” he took off his jacket and offered it to me.

“You know, this isn’t a movie you don’t have to act like a gentleman.” I blushed; thankfully it went unnoticed since my cheeks were red anyway.

“Don’t be stubborn,” He wrapped it around my shoulders before ruffling up my hair. I smacked at his hands and then pulled the jacket on. It was huge; his shoulders were wider than mine and his arms longer. It smelled like him though. I wrapped it around myself and smiled a little, already warming up.

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I walked into the room. We sat down and just stared out the window. “You know, I hope it lets up a little.”

“Why Jewlzie, I never thought I would hear you, of all people, say that.” I could hear the smile in his voice, it was unmistakable.

“Yes, but I do have to drive home.” I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him. I settled down in the jacket.

“Jewlz… you look like you are nesting in my jacket.” He bit back a laugh and I glared at him.

“I can’t help it I’m small.” I rolled my eyes and chewed on the inside of my lip. It was the truth, I never thought about it but I was tiny compared to Edward… I wonder what it would feel like with his arms around me. There I go again, fantasizing… as if that would ever happen. Stupid girl, he’s already told you that you are too much of a klutz to actually like.

“It’s because you didn’t eat your veggies, huh?”

“Oh shut up, I did too and drunk my milk and I am still short.” I snorted.



I sit in my house, staring out the window at the snow. More than likely there wouldn’t be school tomorrow seeing as the snow had covered everything. It was beautiful I must admit. I walked out on the porch and the cold air mingled with my warm breath. I sat on the porch swing and rocked a bit. “Oh, how I wish someone would pop up and say, ‘hey Jewlz, how about we bake some cookies!’ or something along those lines.” I sighed while staring at a little pond by the porch… I never paid attention before, but I hope there wasn’t any fish in there, seeing as the pond was frozen they would be frozen as well. Terrible way to go I would imagine.

Hmm, fish, you know if you really think about it, fish make awful pets. I mean, sure they are pretty to look at and they swim around which is enough for some people, I suppose. But really what’s the fun? You can’t play fetch with fish, throw the item too far and it misses the tank, fish would swim right into the glass, ouch. Or you could take the fish and throw it and have a cat get it… but then you would smell like fish, ew. I walked back and forth on the porch, rubbing my arms so they’d get warmer or stay warm. I noticed a car flash in my peripheral vision, but didn’t pay much attention to it.

“You know, you are going to catch a cold standing out here without a jacket on.” I heard someone say behind me. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I lent you mine.”

“I doubt I would get a cold, I am more likely to catch aids or something.” I sighed as I wasn’t paying too much attention to the words leaving my mouth. Something I should really learn to do is pay attention… At least around Edward, but for some reason he makes it incredibly hard for me.

“Oh,” he cocked an eyebrow. “I see you’re that type.” He chortled and I could sense the smirk that was probably on his face.

“Darn, you caught me. Edward, you just may be my next target, so watch it.” I didn’t look up at him but played with some snow on the railing, breathing slowly.

“Haha, anyway, what are you lookin’ at?” He asked walking close to me. “I hope you aren’t thinking that if you concentrate on the sky that it’ll snow more.”

“Nope… well now that you mention it, I wonder.” I turned to smile at him. “Want to come in; it’s getting rather chilly out here.” I motion toward the door which I left slightly ajar.

“Your old man won’t get irritated will he?” he asked cautiously. Made me feel a little weird, as if he knew… he couldn’t know, that was impossible. I had been careful, I had made sure to show no real sign and any mark I covered up… so it was my imagination, all it could be. Yes, so he didn’t know… he didn’t.

“Hmm… well he isn’t here anyway, so how would Vincent find out besides, it’s not like we are making babies, so we should be fine.” I smiled as I walked in and turned on a few lights so that it wasn’t completely dark in the house.

“Making babies,” he walked in, closing the door behind him. I could hear the amusement in his voice as he took his jacket off and hung it up. Edward was always questioning everything I had to say or did, I sometime think that he writes this stuff down to keep on record, hey who knows.

“Yeah, a cuter way of saying sex or making love,” I turned to wink at him.

“I would have never guessed that there is a cute way of saying that.” He chuckled while sitting on the couch.

“Well, you my friend, have a very dull mind. I, however, have an imagination as big and as deep as the Pacific Ocean. I am always under the torrents of my imagination; therefore it spews from my mouth sometimes.” I boasted while flopping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

“Oh really,” he raised an eyebrow while turning towards me, his arm lay across the back of the couch. Honestly, I wanted to scoot a little closer, but I knew that probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Yes really, by the way, Eddie boy, what brings you to my ever so humble abode?” I ask dramatically as I motion to the house itself.

“I was driving by when I saw a little snow pixie prancing around outside.” He was smiling at me. I am guessing I was what he referred to as a snow pixie.

“Oh, a snow pixie you say? I wish I could have seen one,” I sighed while pouting. It was quiet for a few seconds as I was trying to think of something to say, a topic, anything really. “So, what kind of music do you like to listen to?” Music my topic of choice, one thing I knew lots about.

“Well… anything,” he answered shortly after thinking about it.

“Oh really, well in that case I’ll be right back.” I jumped up and jogged up the stairs. I ran into my room and skimmed my collection of cds until I found what I was looking for and snatched it off of my night stand. I ran back down and put it into the stereo. I again sat next to Edward with the remote in my hand.

“I love this song,” I smiled as a song came on so I turned it up just a little bit. I still wanted to be able to talk to Edward after all.

“And why would that be?” He was looking at me as I messed with the remote and messed with the settings. I’ll admit I have no idea what I was doing. Not like that stopped me, though.

“I don’t know, I just like it,” I smiled and looked over at him. “You know, at least this is a little more normal than what I usually listen to.”

“I’ve heard some of the music you listen to… it’s amazing that you aren’t deaf yet.” He smirked.

“Haha, yeah I get that a lot.” I smiled sheepishly.

“So, this is your foster family?” he asked referring to a picture of Vincent and Eleanor.

“Yeah, well, the woman there—her name is Eleanor, she passed away before I got here. So… I live with Vincent.” It was hard, but I hid the discomfort in my voice when mentioning Vincent’s name. I gave a fake smile.

“I see… So where were you originally?” he asked.

“In hell—the weather was terrible, by the way.”

“Really,” he raised an eyebrow. It was weird answering so many questions like this. I never figured I would be so self-conscious over my past. I started to chew on the inside of my lip.

“Yeah, it never snowed where I used to live, uh the first place I lived rather, and if it did it wouldn’t be anything more than a few flurries.” I openly complained, focusing on the weather.

“Haha, I see, so what happened to your parents?” I begin to play with the bottom of my shirt trying to figure out how to answer that question. My parents… I don’t even like to think about it, it wasn’t right. I may be scared of a few things… but that—they have me petrified… not really a they, it was a she—my mother.

“Ionno,” I flicked through the songs.

“What do you mean,” he was furrowing his eyebrows and looking at me questioningly.

“It’s personal.” I brought my legs up to my chest and rest my chin on top of my knees. Here it was my defensive mental shell. I didn’t want to talk about this… ever.

“I see…” he looked at the stereo.

“No you don’t…” I smiled at him albeit it was a sad smile. He looked at me; staring with an emotion I couldn’t pin-point. “Haha… your expression is timeless.” I forced a small laugh.

“Don’t you mean priceless?” he questioned as he raised an eyebrow.

“Nope, you see money takes time therefore to me your expression is timeless.” I smiled like a little girl.

“You’re strange,” he smiled.

“Yep yep… Oh~” I said excitedly as The Brat Pack by The Rocket Summer came on.

“What,” Edward asked curiously.

“I love this song,” I probably have said that about every song… Oh well. I jumped up, and held the remote to my lips as I spun around and started to sing into it like it was a microphone. I could really care less who was watching me. If a song came on that I liked, I was going to sing it… Not just sing I was going to perform.

Edward just sat there stunned, his eyes glued to me as I sang and danced around in front of him. The song was just too catchy and good not to enjoy it this way. It fills my heart with bubbles, and makes me super happy. It reminds me of here, actually, of my friends and everything. I guess that is why I love it so much now. The song ended and I jumped on the couch and sat down.

“Haha, sorry about that, I just love the song,” I scratched my cheek before leaning back on the couch and breathing heavily. I sat my hands behind my head.

“No problem at all.” I felt the couch shift as Edward had also leaned back on the couch, looking at me.

“So… where were you headed?” I asked after a while.

“Huh?” he looked at me confused.

“Mmm… Where were you going before you saw ‘the snow pixie’?” I giggled while looking at him.

“Oh, ha I was going home.” He replied nonchalantly.

“About damn time,” I smirked.

“Smart ass,” he smiled.

“You know it. So, was this snow pixie cute?” Oh my god, how dumb can you get Jacey? You know he’s talking about you! Why would you ask something stupid like that? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I could have slapped myself, why is it that he always makes me slip up and say things that I shouldn’t say?

“Hmm,” he looked a little surprised as he thought about it. “Depends on the person who was looking at the pixie.” He replied carefully.

“Well, since you saw her, what do you think?” I had shifted to look at him better, I admit, I was curious.

“That’s for me to know.” He smirked as he closed his eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted to myself. Of course he would think of a way to avoid answering a question that I really wanted to know the answer to. I can’t say I was too surprised.

“Hmm…” I thought out loud and grinning deviously.

“Hmm what?” he asked.

“I…”

“Yeah?”

“Want…” I seductively bit on my lip while looking at him and sitting up on my knees. Edward was looking up at me. “Some hot…” I breathed loudly as I started to crawl my way to Edward who was backing up on the couch.

“E-Excuse me,” he choked out, getting nervous.

“Cocoa~” I jumped up and pranced into the kitchen that was connected to the living room. I was smirking victoriously as I searched through the cabinets. A few minutes pass before Edward comes in to the kitchen and spots me at the table.

“That was cheap,” he replied as he sat across from me.

“How’d you know the cocoa was only a dollar—“ I began.

“Not the cocoa,” he glares playfully at me I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well, if you can’t take the heat you know what they say, stay away from me.” I sipped some cocoa as I turned the stove off.

“Don’t you mean stay out of the kitchen?” he arched his eyebrow.

“Nope, is this kitchen hot to you?” I asked and he shook his head, I quickly followed with, “But am I hot to you.” I asked and he nodded. “Yes,” I pump a fist into the air. “Edward thinks I’m hot~” I repeatedly sang.

“Wait… that’s not what I meant.” Edward was trying to correct what he did.

“Hehe, I’m sure it’s not.” I walked over to the stove and poured me some more hot cocoa. Then walked back to my seat and sat down. “Oh, do you want some?” I referred to my cup of cocoa.

“No thanks,” he replied coolly.

“I see, your loss then.” I took a sip and had to fan my mouth since it scorched my tongue. “Ah… still a tad bit too hot.”

“Oh really, I would never had guess… you know it being hot chocolate and all.” He smirked as I pouted and folded my arms across my chest.

“Such a comedian… smart ass.” He chuckled at my statement.

“Who’s your friend Jacey?” I heard Vincent ask as he entered the kitchen. I jumped up, nearly knocking my cup over.

“This is Edward Cullen, a friend from school and uh Edward this is my guardian, Vincent.” I introduced them while gnawing on my lip.

“Hello Vincent,” Edward stood up and held out his hand to Vincent.

“Nice to meet you, Edward,” Vincent stared at his hand momentarily before shaking his it.

“You too,” Edward replied curtly.

“So… there’s some hot cocoa on the stove. Excuse me, I’m going to change.” I was in a baggy yellow shirt with a big Pikachu on the front, and in a pair of fuzzy pajamas that had charmander all over. My hair was sloppily tied up in a rubber band. When I got home I immediately changed into my pajamas…

“You’re excused.” Vincent glanced at me as he took a seat at the table.

“I’ll be right bback Edward.” I ran into the living room and took my cd from the stereo then made my way up the stairs. I changed into a pair of jeans, black thermal with pink hearts, and a pair of black chucks. I combed through my hair and pulled it into a neater pony tail. I didn’t think he’d be home so early… I slowly walked down the stairs.

“Ready to go?” I looked at Edward as I poked my head through the kitchen door.

“Where are you going?” Vincent didn’t look up from the newspaper that he was reading.
“Just to drive around.” I bit at the inside of my lip, itching to go. I saw Edward glare at Vincent for a second.

“I see,” Vincent looked up from his paper then over at Edward. “Have fun.” I smiled as Edward got up and walked over to me.

“Well… let’s go.” He forced a smile on his face. I wasn’t paying much attention so I was flipping the stations in his car. “Will you stop that.” He said bluntly.

“Sorry…” I mumbled pulling my hand back and sitting it in my lap.

“So, what was that about?” he didn’t take his eyes off the road.

“What was what about?” I played dumb. I knew what he meant, and I knew what he wanted to know. Oh yeah, so Vincent beats me quite often so I don’t really feel comfortable being around him, so how is your home life? No thanks…

“Why were you acting so strange when Vincent came in?” His expression hardened as he looked over at me.

“I… just didn’t want to be in his way.” I looked away and focused on a strand of stray hair that fell in my face.

“What’s wrong,” he asked and I just looked out the tinted window.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Sure there isn’t. Your personality just suddenly changed because you didn’t want to bother him or be in his way. Jewlz, are you afraid of him?” The question completely caught me off guard.

“I’m… not scared of him… not like I owe you an explanation anyway.” A scowl was on my face as I looked at him.

“You do owe me and explanation!” He barked. I shrunk as far away as I could from the volume of his voice. He immediately regretted it as he saw a tear forming in the corner of my eye. It scared me… I never thought he would have lost his temper with me…

“Not now,” I whispered, looking at my lap.

“What,” he said softly, hoping to not push me any further.

“I’ll tell you later… just not now.” I had to take deep breaths so I wouldn’t cry, and I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t.

“As long as you’re okay with it.” I nodded my head and we continued the rest of the ride in silence, an awkward and overbearing silence.