Walking Backwards

I got up out of bed and walked around the room. All the snow had melted; it didn’t even look like it had snow, like it was all my imagination. I stood in front of the calendar. “Nooo… not today,” Today was the first day of spring. What a terrible day this is going to be. My allergies are going to kill me. Every year—every spring, pollen attacks, infects and brings me crashing to my knees. This meant I had to take desperate measures. I glared out my window; I can see the little floating yellow assassins. I will defeat them! This year will be different, I can promise you that.

I close my window, drawing the curtains together and grab my clothes. I had on a black shirt with a pair of silver guns at the top, over my chest, facing opposite directions so that a red heart was formed. I pull on a tight pair of patched up blue-jeans, and a hospital mask. Yes, you heard me correctly—a hospital mask will be a part of my spring assemble, however it is not a normal hospital mask, it’s a novelty! Each one was decorated to look unique, which is what I loved about them. Grabbing my white jacket with colored lightning bolts, I head down the stairs. I snatched a granola bar off the counter and bounded for the outside world. The war begins now. It will be a fight to the death and only one shall survive—which obviously will be me.

As I reached school the best song came on. Bohemian Rhapsody, I sang along rather loudly and let the hood of my car down. I jumped up into my seat and started dancing around. Like I’ve said before, I don’t care who watches me. I have a fifty-fifty chance, if they like me they enjoy it if they hate me I don’t care. So I might as well enjoy my life the way I wanted, and that consisted of me belting out the chorus to Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Nothing really matters… anyone can see… nothing really matters… nothing really matters to me~.” The song ended with people gawking at me. Nothing new, I smiled and turned off the car and hopped out. Humming to myself I slung my bag over my shoulder.

“Whoa, Jewlzie that was nice.” Mike was standing beside me.

“Thanks, I just absolutely adore that song—I absolutely adore Queen actually, they are the shit.” I replied while leaning against the door of my car.

“I have to ask, I mean I’m not really surprised because it is you… but what in the world is with the hospital mask?” He asked poking at the mask I had over my mouth and nose. It said ‘I got the #@$!&% Flu!’. It was one of my favorites—well I loved them all they are all my favorites so I guess that wasn’t a very good statement.

“Oh, well I have allergies really bad—since its spring it’s like the Black Season.” People were flocking by and pointing at me. Maybe it was the mask that they were gawking at instead of my singing… Oh well.

“Black season,” he looked at me as if I had gone crazy and there was no hope for me. Which I have my doubts as well, I’m not even going to lie.

“Yeah black season… you know kind of like the black plague that wreaked havoc and killed billions of people? That’s how pollen is for me—it’s like poison.” I smiled, but that went undetected since you know, I am wearing a mask.

“Haha, whatever you say. Sometimes I think you do some kind of drugs,” he laughed at me while patting my head like I was a little kid. I stomped my foot and looked up at him.

“I am freaking serious, if I don’t wear this I will blow snot like everywhere, no joke.” I scream loudly at him, some girls were saying how gross and disgusting that is… How very unlady like. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I can be very blunt; it’s just how I am sometimes, anyway.

“Hahaha, oh god Jewlzie, you don’t have to scream it,” Mike laughs harder at me, holding his stomach while doubling over.

“Hey, at least I didn’t spray it—thanks to my handy dandy mask.” Oh how I wanted to say notebook, but this isn’t blue clues—this is real life business. I am serious… Well as serious as I could possibly get which isn’t much. Hey I try, I just usually fail at being serious.

Mike shook his head and tried to get control over himself again. “Good point,” he grinned and wiped at his eye. We talk for a few more minutes and then I head to my class which I shared with Eric. I couldn’t help but wonder what Jessica would say, would she disown me?

I’m sure she would try but like I would let her! She is stuck with me. We are friends for life; she just doesn’t know it yet. Or… maybe that’s what she has been scheming all along and I have just been a pawn in her little game—not like I am complaining. I love actually having a clique. Hmm, actually I think this year for my birthday I’ll throw a small party, this year is going to be a good year, I have a feeling that says so.

“Hey Eric,” I beamed while sliding into my desk and dropping my bag next to me.

“Hey Jew—whoa,” his eyes went wide as he looked at me. Not at me, he was looking at the mask that I was wearing proudly.

“Hey, are you calling me a Jew? Well, you know, that does sound very catchy.” I chuckled to myself while Eric just stared, mouth agape. “Might want to close that hunny, flies will drift in.” I pointed to his mouth which was still hanging open widely.

“S-Sorry just I wasn’t expecting anything like that,” he gave me a goofy smile. “Allergies,” he asked.

“Haha, yeah, you know me so well.” I gave him a thumb up since he wouldn’t be able to see me smile or anything like that.

“Well… it’s you and usually have some purpose for everything you do—at least that’s what I believe.” I nodded agreeing with him, he is so right.

The rest of the period was spent with me and Eric talking about how bad we both didn’t like spring because of allergies. Another reason I don’t like spring is because pollen covers everything and makes it look gross and yellow. I almost died laughing at one thing Eric said. He said that spring was Forks’ rainy season. Rainy season, did I hear you correctly? What was the rest of the year then?

I mean don’t get me wrong, I love rain just as much as the next person it’s a really favorable weather for me. I love the sound rain makes on the windows, and I love the sound of rumbling thunder when I am in the middle of reading a good book—but to say that spring is the rainy. It just makes me feel like we are all going to drown one day.

If I did believe in a God it’s like he is toying with this little town of Forks. ‘Nope not today suckas’. I mean I could honestly see that happening. I mean, we are pretty safe it doesn’t flood that often and the trees act as breakers for the oncoming gusts of wind.

“Oh no, when it rains I won’t have to wear this, since the rain washes away pollen.” I reply to Jessica who was sitting in front of me. She is turned around in her seat so we can talk about everything under the sun, which yes does include pollen unfortunately. I glare out the window up at the sun, it’s a terrible thing.

The bell rings and we get up to walk to lunch. I’m dreading this because I just know Edward is going to say something smart and make fun of my mask. There was no doubt in my mind and I could actually already see his sneer. In the lunch room I grabbed a bottle of water, vanilla ice cream, and a slice of pizza… no I cannot resist ice cream even in large groups of people. I have got to devour ice cream. I looked around the room and Edward and his family wasn’t here. Hmm… either they are all vampires or they all have extreme allergies… Today I will go with a more logical explanation: They all got ate by a swarm of angry horny-toads. I nodded as I sat down next to Jessica.

I pulled off my mask and took a few of my allergy pills since it was lunch. I began licking at my ice cream not paying attention to anyone. It was so good; this is why I feel sorry for people who are lactose intolerant.

“Oh my god, did you hear?” I heard Jessica talking to someone but I wasn’t paying attention to her. Now that I think about it, it kind of irritates me that Edward isn’t here at school; why isn’t he here? Hm, maybe this is more snooping for the good ol’ detective Jewlzie. Not like I ever get anywhere with my snooping… I always get distracted by something. “Jewlz are you listening to me?”

“Huh,” I looked up at Jessica while I was in the middle of licking my ice cream.

“You weren’t even listening to me,” she pouted, her arms folding over her soft blue blouse.

“I’m sorry, what was it that you were talking about, I’ll make sure to listen this time.” I smiled as I finished my ice cream and started poking at my cheese pizza.

“Spring dance is coming up,” she was basically bouncing out of her seat as she said this, like it was some kind of big deal.

“Uh, oh good… let’s throw a party and invite the Kardashians.” I pull at some of the cheese and pop it in my mouth unenthusiastically.

“Aren’t you a little bit excited?” her face contorted into a look of displeasure at the fact I wasn’t busting at the seams with anticipation.

“I hate spring. I hate dances. You do the math, ‘kay?” I took a bite out of the crust and smile as I chewed it quietly.

“But you were dancing outside Jewlz, didn’t look like you had a problem then.” Mike took a sip of his coke as he brought up this morning.

“Oh no, you misunderstood. I love dancing I hate dances.” I corrected while finishing off my pizza.

“And,” everyone at the table basically asked while looking at me as if I was some kind of idiot who made no sense whatsoever.

“And dances and dancing are two totally different things. Yes you dance at dances but when I dance I pick out the music that I want to listen to. Yet at a dance I am forced to listen to what the school’s hired dj plays which is usually some silly pop or country song. I cannot stand listening to country music… it’s like death to my ears.”

I had finished explaining to them what I didn’t like about dances and they eventually gave up on trying convincing me that they were awesome. Plus if you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all, if you know what I mean.

The day passed slowly by. The teachers droned what would be appropriate at said dance and most of what we were scheduled to learn actually went ignored. I couldn’t help but sigh as I passed people on my way to the car. Everyone was excited about who was going to ask who and what they would wear and what music may play. I drove by my house instead of stopping and drove until I found a little park.

It was on the outskirts of town and looked rather abandoned. I got out of my car and walked to one of the swings and sat down on it. I loved coming to parks to think, especially if no one is here. I felt alone today. It was weird not seeing Edward every day. Well on weekdays that is. I swung back and forth while humming. I remember coming to the park after my mother would get over her tantrums. Maybe that’s why I always enjoyed them.

Bzz I felt vibrations in my pocket so I pulled out my little blue phone. Jessica had text me to see if I was up to anything and wanted to know if I wanted to come over so that we could do our English project. I replied yes with a simple smiley face then got into my car.

It took about twenty minutes to get to her house. I waited outside on her porch after knocking. She answered and ushered me in. I was introduced to her parents then we went to her room. “So,” I began while sitting on her bed with my book out. I already had mine done of course. I did a project on Edgar Allen Poe, it was a simple essay and then a recreation of one of his works.

Jessica jumped on the bed and closed the book I had opened. “So seriously Jewlz, who are you going to ask to the dance?”

“Is that why you asked me here,” I smiled at Jessica.

“Well duh,” she nodded fervently while inching closer to me. “Are you going to ask Edward, I mean you two are going out…” She nudged me with a sly smile on her face.

“We aren’t dating,” I shoved her back. “And you know that miss going around sprouting rumors.” I laughed softly.

“You two might as well be dating, I mean you two are together all the time so ask him out already, why are you making things so difficult?” She crossed her arms over her chest. Jessica was very demanding…

“So what, we are friends I doubt he likes me that we, I mean c’mon look at him and then look at me.—“

“Jewlzie don’t give me that bs, do you like him?” She stared at me harder.

“If I tell you—you will tell the whole damn school, and I don’t see why I would want that. If he liked me so much he would tell me but he hasn’t so that’s the end of that.” I nodded while shoving my book back into my bag. “Now do you want help or not, I didn’t come here to talk about what feelings I may or may not have about that jerk.” I huffed, my cheeks turning a light pink.

“So you do,” she giggled while bouncing on her bed more. I rolled my eyes and got up and headed to the door. I turned my head and stuck my tongue out at her before heading out the door. I could still hear her laughing as I pulled out of the drive way.

I don’t know why I even thought she wanted my help with homework as if. She just wanted to ask more questions about Edward, I mean yeah he and I are pretty close, but not that close. I drive back home and get out, I go in and cook dinner and set a plate on the oven for Vincent. For a while I sit on the couch and read one of my books. I’ve been reading quite a few vampire books lately and it is so wild how almost each one has a different way of turning a vampire. Some of them sound painful—well they all sound painful since you pretty much have to die before coming back, almost like a zombie… I wouldn’t want to be a zombie. Flesh dangling in some areas, tendons showing, and rotten skin? No thanks.

“Jacey,” My shoulders are shaken softly. I look up and see Vincent; I sit up and rub my eyes.

“Y-Yes sir,” I ask after yawning loudly. I look for the wall clock and see that it’s just a little after twelve.

“You fell asleep on the couch; you should get up to bed.” Is all he said before walking toward the kitchen. I mumble my thanks and walk up the stairs slowly; I change into a pair of pajamas and lay in bed looking out the window.

Is it bad that sometimes I feel as though I am being watched, and I don’t mind? I like to imagine that it’s a guardian angel… but how would I tell an angel that I don’t believe in God. That would be kind of awkward, I can imagine them slinging a halo at me or beating me with their huge white wings. I hold the comforter to my chest as I yawn more. Eventually the room starts to disappear and I’m asleep once again, this time in my bed and ten times more comfortable.

I wake up before my alarm because the sun is sending daggers directly into my unsuspecting eyes. I shield my eyes while sitting up, my hair sticking up from where I had been sleeping. I reach up and rub at my nose to try and stop myself from sneezing. I then notice that my window was slightly cracked open… “I could have sworn that I closed the window.” I sneeze loudly and lay back down. Ugh, I can’t stand spring. Thank god today is Friday. I smile as I get outside, the clouds are looking dark and heavy, and thus it should rain today. At least that’s what I’m hoping.

Jessica stopped me as I was passing her in the hall to go to the lunch room; she was standing with a few other girls. “I know you don’t like dances but please will you go with us to get dresses?”

“Fine,” I sighed she had practically spammed me with text messages last night that I ignored after a while. I rolled my eyes a bit as she clapped her hands together and jumped up and down.

“So~,” she began while nudging my arm.

“No,” I immediately said while crossing my arms over my chest. “It’s not going to happen, so don’t even start.” I knew what she wanted, it was obviously written on her forehead in giant red letters.

“Ah, come on please let’s use your car, Jewlzie.” She tried to use her pouting face on me which was completely ineffective.

“Absolutely not and I’ll tell you why too. I’m not going to get a dress so I am not going to drive. There is no way in hell that I would let any of you drive my car, no offense. Therefore, since I am only tagging along for the oh so joyous adventure, one of you will have to use your car.” I smiled sweetly while shrugging my shoulders. Jessica pouted more, she’s always wanted to ride in my car one day I’ll take her to the beach or something, but I refuse drive to Port Angeles.

“Fine,” she resigned and sighed very loudly. “How about after school on Monday?”

“Sounds fine with me, what time will we be leaving?” I ask while looking around. Everyone was walking around us to get to the lunchroom, the place where I wanted to get—to avoid talking about the dance anyway. Everyone was all excited but me.

“Hmm I think we should leave right after school is over, that way we have more time to shop.” She looked around her little group of friends and they all nodded their heads.

“Okay, so Monday after school, looking forward to it.” I waved to her and walked off. A few minutes later I entered the cafeteria. I grabbed some nachos and cheese and a bottle of water, there he is. I smirked for a second before stomping my way over to him—at our table. I set my nachos down and slammed down my water.

“How dare you,” I raised my finger to point at him as well as raising my voice into an angry shrill. Edward looked up at me shocked. “I can’t believe you did that!”