Status: completed || being heavily edited and may have some slight alterations
Your Reason to Be
Chapter 1
Chennaya's POV
Louis' car jerks to a sudden stop in front of the house I used to live in. He moves the car forward a little more, hiding the entrance of the driveway.
As the revving of the engine dies down, my thoughts begin to aimlessly build a brick wall inside my head. My vision begins to blur as I think about the recent surprising twist my life has taken. Nobody wouldn't have expected for this to happen - not even me. I chew my lower lip and wonder how alll of this has happened all so quickly. Now I have to endure trying to sort out my newfound life.
In one minute you and this one person are living and enjoying the liberty with each other. But of course, all good things must come to an end. After that moment of perfection, the world I've known comes crashing down because of one obstacle.
After a year and a half of the relationship I had with Jarrod - the boy whom I thought I loved - he has probably felt bored of me and decided to go out and have some fun. He told me he loves me, that he cares for me and that he would never think of leaving me. But the best lies are the ones you crave to hear.
Ashamed to admit to anyone or myself, I did cry last night. The tears flowed out of my eyes carrying my anger, sadness and pain with it. I cried out all the emotions I had bottled up and I was free of any such things.
I'm glad Louis was there for me that night - as selfish as that may sound. To be honest I can't care any less for Jarrod anymore. I'm only glad that I'm finally liberated from the fake relationship I was in for months and that the burden is off my shoulders. It's as if when he left to go cheat on me, he took my feelings with him and the only debris left is a few shards of my heart. Maybe that void won't be able to be filled anymore.
Aren't I suppose to be breaking down by now? Struggling against the deep pain his sudden betrayal caused me? I probably should remembering the anguish that coursed through my body as I sobbed my heart out against Louis shoulder. By not feeling like that anymore, a sudden rush of guilt swells inside of me.
But why should I be guilty?
He betrayed me.
I never did anything to him.
"Chey? Chennaya Brooks!"
I blink. "What? Sorry...I was just thinking." Tara’s consistent shouting has caused me to be reeled out of my winding thoughts and into the real world. The world where I can’t simply curl up into a foetal position in the corner of my mind and drown out the sounds of my unfortunate reality.
"About what?" she questions, raising both eyebrows in curiousity.
"Yo-"
One of the car doors is slammed shut, the sound making both Tara and I to jump slightly in our seats. I turn my head to look out the window and come face to face with a furious looking Louis. "Come on, we don't have all day!" he shouts for tenth time before turning around heading towards the front door.
In the long time Lou and I have been friends, I’ve never experienced him so apprehensive and agitated at the same time before. Ever since yesterday, when he found out about my unfaithful boyfriend, he has been acting a bit tense. He doesn’t have his usual delighting demeanour and it’s worrying me to see him like this. It’s as if he’s the one who had just gone through watching his boyfriend cheat on him.
Tara and I eventually step out of the vehicle, aware that people passing by have been staring at his expensive car. The joys of being a young millionaire boy band member. The both of us walk to up the driveway to the house where Jarrod and I live - cut that, used to live - with other friends of ours, the front door silently taunting me.
Tara nudges my side with her elbow and winks. "What now?" I moan, not really in the mood for games.
She lifts a hand motioning for me to lean in as if someone could be eavesdropping on us. "Louis has a lovely fit bum, have you noticed that?"
My eyes feel like they are about to pop out of their supposed sockets. "I'm ashamed to call you my best friend!"
"Oh please, I know you have a little crush on hi-”
"You're an asshole you know that!?" A yell interrupts Tara from completing her sentence and I’m glad for that.
We both hurriedly run to where the shouts are coming from. I run as fast I can to enter my old living room only to find Louis and my ex rolling around on the floor. It looks as if they’re having a wrestling match only weaker than the norm. I can feel my heart pounding erratically against my ribcage as if it’s begging to be let out.
"Who th-" Jarrod flashes a punch to Lou's face but misses, "-bloody hell do you think you are?"
"It’s me Louis, you bastard. We met once and I thought you wer-"
Before Jarrod can land his fist against Lou’s nose again, I scream, feeling the tears well up behind my eyes. I’ve always loathed conflicts and this just takes the prize. Even though I he probably deserves a punch, I don’t anybody to get hurt. This is my fight and no one else is stepping in front to defend me.
Tara stands there, shock and fear pasted in her eyes, unable to acknowledge the fact that there are two people right in front of her willing to rip each other's faces off if they could. I let out an irritated sigh rubbing furiously at my eyes.
Before the two can receive major injuries, I push my ex from on top of Louis and force him to stand up so he’s fully facing me. Once he’s on both feet I lift my right hand and my palm collides smoothly against his cheek. The sound of the slap awakens me. Disbelief replaces the viciousness in his face."You think I don't know? Well you're wrong! I can't believe you!"
I look back at Lou whose eyes can burn all the hair off Jarrod. "If you think you can lay one hand on he-"
"Tara!" I bark. "Get Louis out of here now."
My gaze shuffles back to my ex who's now pleading with his soft brown orbs - eyes that I used to love staring into for moments before drowning in its warmth. They used to mean home to me, now they’re just the debris. "Nay, I'm sorry,” he murmurs using the nickname I would’ve given in to under different circumstances. “I swear it was only one date, just for fun. She begged me and I couldn't say no otherwise she would've cried. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'll mak-"
I give him a firm glare. "Quit with the lies and pleading. I know what you did, I saw it with my own eyes so don't even bother. And Louis? He will really hurt you if he could."
Louis' car jerks to a sudden stop in front of the house I used to live in. He moves the car forward a little more, hiding the entrance of the driveway.
As the revving of the engine dies down, my thoughts begin to aimlessly build a brick wall inside my head. My vision begins to blur as I think about the recent surprising twist my life has taken. Nobody wouldn't have expected for this to happen - not even me. I chew my lower lip and wonder how alll of this has happened all so quickly. Now I have to endure trying to sort out my newfound life.
In one minute you and this one person are living and enjoying the liberty with each other. But of course, all good things must come to an end. After that moment of perfection, the world I've known comes crashing down because of one obstacle.
After a year and a half of the relationship I had with Jarrod - the boy whom I thought I loved - he has probably felt bored of me and decided to go out and have some fun. He told me he loves me, that he cares for me and that he would never think of leaving me. But the best lies are the ones you crave to hear.
Ashamed to admit to anyone or myself, I did cry last night. The tears flowed out of my eyes carrying my anger, sadness and pain with it. I cried out all the emotions I had bottled up and I was free of any such things.
I'm glad Louis was there for me that night - as selfish as that may sound. To be honest I can't care any less for Jarrod anymore. I'm only glad that I'm finally liberated from the fake relationship I was in for months and that the burden is off my shoulders. It's as if when he left to go cheat on me, he took my feelings with him and the only debris left is a few shards of my heart. Maybe that void won't be able to be filled anymore.
Aren't I suppose to be breaking down by now? Struggling against the deep pain his sudden betrayal caused me? I probably should remembering the anguish that coursed through my body as I sobbed my heart out against Louis shoulder. By not feeling like that anymore, a sudden rush of guilt swells inside of me.
But why should I be guilty?
He betrayed me.
I never did anything to him.
"Chey? Chennaya Brooks!"
I blink. "What? Sorry...I was just thinking." Tara’s consistent shouting has caused me to be reeled out of my winding thoughts and into the real world. The world where I can’t simply curl up into a foetal position in the corner of my mind and drown out the sounds of my unfortunate reality.
"About what?" she questions, raising both eyebrows in curiousity.
"Yo-"
One of the car doors is slammed shut, the sound making both Tara and I to jump slightly in our seats. I turn my head to look out the window and come face to face with a furious looking Louis. "Come on, we don't have all day!" he shouts for tenth time before turning around heading towards the front door.
In the long time Lou and I have been friends, I’ve never experienced him so apprehensive and agitated at the same time before. Ever since yesterday, when he found out about my unfaithful boyfriend, he has been acting a bit tense. He doesn’t have his usual delighting demeanour and it’s worrying me to see him like this. It’s as if he’s the one who had just gone through watching his boyfriend cheat on him.
Tara and I eventually step out of the vehicle, aware that people passing by have been staring at his expensive car. The joys of being a young millionaire boy band member. The both of us walk to up the driveway to the house where Jarrod and I live - cut that, used to live - with other friends of ours, the front door silently taunting me.
Tara nudges my side with her elbow and winks. "What now?" I moan, not really in the mood for games.
She lifts a hand motioning for me to lean in as if someone could be eavesdropping on us. "Louis has a lovely fit bum, have you noticed that?"
My eyes feel like they are about to pop out of their supposed sockets. "I'm ashamed to call you my best friend!"
"Oh please, I know you have a little crush on hi-”
"You're an asshole you know that!?" A yell interrupts Tara from completing her sentence and I’m glad for that.
We both hurriedly run to where the shouts are coming from. I run as fast I can to enter my old living room only to find Louis and my ex rolling around on the floor. It looks as if they’re having a wrestling match only weaker than the norm. I can feel my heart pounding erratically against my ribcage as if it’s begging to be let out.
"Who th-" Jarrod flashes a punch to Lou's face but misses, "-bloody hell do you think you are?"
"It’s me Louis, you bastard. We met once and I thought you wer-"
Before Jarrod can land his fist against Lou’s nose again, I scream, feeling the tears well up behind my eyes. I’ve always loathed conflicts and this just takes the prize. Even though I he probably deserves a punch, I don’t anybody to get hurt. This is my fight and no one else is stepping in front to defend me.
Tara stands there, shock and fear pasted in her eyes, unable to acknowledge the fact that there are two people right in front of her willing to rip each other's faces off if they could. I let out an irritated sigh rubbing furiously at my eyes.
Before the two can receive major injuries, I push my ex from on top of Louis and force him to stand up so he’s fully facing me. Once he’s on both feet I lift my right hand and my palm collides smoothly against his cheek. The sound of the slap awakens me. Disbelief replaces the viciousness in his face."You think I don't know? Well you're wrong! I can't believe you!"
I look back at Lou whose eyes can burn all the hair off Jarrod. "If you think you can lay one hand on he-"
"Tara!" I bark. "Get Louis out of here now."
My gaze shuffles back to my ex who's now pleading with his soft brown orbs - eyes that I used to love staring into for moments before drowning in its warmth. They used to mean home to me, now they’re just the debris. "Nay, I'm sorry,” he murmurs using the nickname I would’ve given in to under different circumstances. “I swear it was only one date, just for fun. She begged me and I couldn't say no otherwise she would've cried. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'll mak-"
I give him a firm glare. "Quit with the lies and pleading. I know what you did, I saw it with my own eyes so don't even bother. And Louis? He will really hurt you if he could."
♠ ♠ ♠
:)