Your Reason to Be

Chennaya's POV

"What?" he yells gaining attention from the customers. Louis is too occupied with the person on the other end of the line to notice, or even care. "What happened, mum?"

His panic-stricken face sends a rush of worry inside me. Jo wouldn't bother calling Louis if it isn't important. And from his frightening expression I can tell that this is extremely alerting.

He talks rapidly fast and I'm afraid that he's going to burst at any moment. People are beginning to stare at him, several of them frowning in annoyance. I feel the urge to snap at them and turn around but that wouldn't make anybody feel better.

Even though this affects me too, I don't gawk at him. I try to drown out his ascending voice by taking out the book and focusing intensely on reading it. But that is easier said than done. I hear him mention Lottie's name a couple of times and my heart skips a beat. I can't concentrate on the words covering the page.

"Oh god," he whispers. I look up at him slipping his phone back into his pocket. He stares at me, anger burning up in the blue gems.

I shove the book back into the half broken bag and pick it up. "Come on," I mumble softly grabbing his forearm to help him walk through the cafe.

The car in front of me is there ready for me to collide it into an accident. I swallow down the fears of breaking his much too expensive ride and open the passenger door demanding for him to slide in. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing. Scared of his quiet posture, I quickly get into the driver's seat getting on my knees.

He stares in front of him, eyes glazed over. They are unnaturally shining and I know that tears are ready to come out. "Louis. Please look at me," I say gripping his chin. I twist his head to face me and my heart just falters at the sight of his forlorn face.

"She's in the hospital. So-Something bad happened to Lottie." He isn't one to cry but his family, specially his sisters, mean so much to him. Tears rarely stream from his eyes but when they do, you know how hurt he is.

I nod unsure of how to respond. "I'll drive you to Tara's place okay?" He shrugs and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He hugs me back too tightly but I don't complain. After the embrace, I ask for the key and begin to drive to my current house.

The drive to the house is abnormally silent. I can still hear the small sniffs of Louis over the radio. I turn the knob to maximize the volume hoping it will do some good for him. With irony, 'More Than This' begins streaming from the speakers and places a soft smile on his face.

I blink back tears of my own uncertain why I feel this way. I don't normally cry either but seeing Louis in such a state after the bad news of his sister and seeing him care so much just sparked up something.

It reminds me so much of when Tara found out the passing away of her own sister. The tears wouldn't stop flowing and I was selfish, starting up an argument. She was so torn up about it and after that I'm trying to make it up to her.

I'm not going to let that happen with Louis. I've learnt my lesson and I'm just going to comfort him. I know Lottie is still very much alive but from what her brother looks like, it should be extremely serious.

We finally arrive at the house and this time, Louis manages to get through the door himself. I tell him to take a seat on the couch and he does so. "Where are you going?"

"Tea. Just sit, love." I enter the kitchen and put water into the kettle before flicking the switch. I rip open a bag and put it in a mug. I walk back into the living room to see him, legs crossed and fingers fiddling with each other. He looks like a lost young boy.

"I should've been there," he scoffs. "I should've stopped been the one who climbed that tree. I should be the one who tried to grab the ball and fell instead." He laughs bitterly gazing up at me with a frighteningly wide grin.

I feel my heart pounding erratically against my rib cage as I sit down beside him. I lift my right hand to smooth down his hair. "No, don't think like that."

Blue eyes flare with anger. "I should be the one in that hospital bed," he snaps.

"Dammit!" I yell. "God Louis don't say that. It's not going to help Lottie is it?"

A cough interrupts us and I see Tara, mouth hanging down, staring at us. She is carrying mugs and walks slowly towards the living, placing a cup in front of Louis and sipping one herself. Nobody says anything and I guess she knows what's happening as she doesn't question. "I'll leave you to it then."

When her figure has disappeared I turn back to Louis. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to shout. I-"

"No you're right. Blaming myself isn't gonna do anything. Thank you." His finger traces my jawline and he leans in to plant a gentle kiss on my lips. When he pulls away I brush his fringe away from his eyes, to show those deep blue gems.

I sigh. "You're amazing you know that right?" He smiles. "Are you gonna drive to Doncaster today?"

"Yeah. I can talk to the university if you want. I'm sure they'd let you come. Lottie would be ecstatic to see you again," he says a gleam in his eyes.

The statement is another thing that tears me in two. I promised myself that I'd try to make him happy but it isn't that easy. What he wants me to do isn't easy. In my opinion it's absentmindedly rude. I don't want to make things more difficult than it already is but I can't do it.

"Lou.." I pause struggling to find the right words, so it wouldn't come out as harsh as it seems. "I don't think that it's okay if I go with you."

"Why not?"

Biting the inside of my bottom lip, I stare hopelessly at him. "I don't think it's a good idea. If Lottie is hurt and then you take me with you...isn't that just-just a little insane?"

He grimaces. "No, they wouldn't mind," he says but there is a hint of doubt in his tone. "Ugh I can't believe it."

"It's okay," I murmur.

Louis places his palm over my hand that is resting on his cheek. He slips his fingers through the gaps of mine and clutches gently onto me. He leads my hand around his face before reaching his lips - where he lands an absolutely sweet kiss on my palm. The gesture makes me want to collapse in one romanticized heap.

My eyelids flutter close at the soft touch. I feel his lips glide over my hand before trailing up my arm. Goosebumps arise where his lips make contact with my skin. "Louis," I whisper as he plants a kiss on my lips. I laugh. "Since when were you such a massive romantic Tomlinson?"

"Since you made up your mind."