It All Started With A Smile

I drank way too much last night. The fact that Garrett was dating this Falyn girl just broke my heart into a billion pieces. I got drank and when we got home, Patricia told me I was banging the door and throwing everything I could to the floor and I would just end up crying.

I didn't go out for weeks. Do you see how much this affected me? I feel like shit. I'm so fucked up. I have no life. I honestly don't know why I was so affected.

"Why did I even ask Pat about that?" I said.
"Look, you were so curious. Curiosity kills you so you ask a question. Stop acting like there's no tomorrow. You still have a chance," Patricia said.
I didn't respond to her because I was still crying. It's been 3 weeks. The guys would visit a lot but Garrett only came twice. After a few minutes I heard a knock on the door.
"I'll go get it," she said.
I was just there sitting at the dining table and sipping on my coffee. I was so miserable. I really don't what to do anymore. Patricia came back with John and Pat.
"Hey Julia. How you doing?" John asked.
"I don't know. I think I'm getting over it," I lied.
"Hmm, well that's good I guess," he replied.

Josh and Russell were no where to be found. They would go out for walks and sometimes it gets so suspicious. Well, I don't know. I just don't want to assume again. I never really assumed that Garrett liked me. I was just, I don't know, driven by his actions. Right now, I'm just glad I have friends by my side. Only Garrett doesn't know about this. I don't know how he will react when he hears about this. The guys promised me that they will never tell him. It was hard to keep it from him, though. He's probably the type of guy who could be my best friend and end up as my husband. Hah, that's just weird. But you never know what might happen, right?

*********************************************
Patricia, John and Pat, took me out of the house to maybe, cheer me up. We went to some festival and it was really fun. It somehow made me forget about Garrett. But in the back of my mind he was just there. I really didn't know what to feel anymore.

My night was going perfectly well until I saw "them" in the view. There they were. Garrett and Falyn together. I was gonna tell John that I think we should leave already but he got ahead of me so we drove around town instead. I wanted to get Garrett out of my head. I don't want to think about him anymore. Why did I even end up liking this bassist? Why didn't I just fall for John, Jared, Kennedy or Pat? My life just sucks at the moment. I don't know what to expect anymore. I don't deserve to feel this way. I never even had a shot with him. It would still be understandable if I was his ex or something. But we never had a thing.

John told me more about Garrett and Falyn and I don't even know why I asked John to tell me these things even though it was already killing me inside. He told me they started dating even before they met us and it all just makes sense now.

***********************************************
Garrett and I don't talk that much anymore. He would just drop by with the guys and say hi to us. He would even leave after 30 minutes because he's gonna go on a date with Falyn. Hearing the words, "Oh sorry guys. I have to go. I still need to pick Falyn up", make you feel like you just got stabbed in the back with a very very sharp knife 14 times.

"Stop over-thinking," Josh said.
"I am not over-thinking. Do you have any idea what happened at the party 3 weeks ago?" I asked.
"I am not really sure because I know you don't like Garrett so I thought Patricia was only kidding me. Turns out, it was all true," he said.
"Hah, shut up. I have some questions to ask you too, Josh." I said with a wide grin on my face.
"What? You're creeping me out, Julia. Just ask me now," he said.
"Mhmm, okay then" I said.
"Don't tell me this is about me and Russell. Okay there's nothing going on with us. We would go for walks and just meet new people that's it," he said defensively.
"Well, you say so" I said.
"Oh give it up," he said.
I laughed at him because he was obviously denying it.
"Okay then," I said and left.

I went to the room I was sharing with Patricia since there are only two rooms in this apartment. She was on the phone with someone and she didn't notice me open the door. Their conversation was quite serious. I was about to knock when I heard her say Garrett's name.
"--Garrett doesn't even know," she said.
And so I knocked on the door and she saw me and had a shocked expression on her face.
"Hey uh I have to go. I'll just talk to you later," she said while saying goodbye to whoever she
was talking to on the phone.
"So who were you talking to?" I asked.
"Uh Kennedy," she replied.
"Oh, what were you talking about?" I asked curiously.
"Oh uhm nothing. Nothing really. Unless you heard me tell him something or yeah I don't know. I think you were eavesdropping so you don't really need to ask me, right?" she said.
"How do you even know that!" I asked while chuckling.
"Probably because I saw you and I was just waiting for you to knock on the door and interrupt the conversation I was having with Kennedy," she said while smiling.
"I really cannot be a ninja," I said.
"Oh well at least you can be a zombie," she said, "I'll just go get some food at the store."
"Okay then," I said.
"Bye" she said then left.

Right at that moment my phone rang. Garrett was calling.

He was calling me and I was just there staring at my phone thinking if I should answer it or not.

But I guess I should answer it and so I did.

"Hello?" I said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Garrett said.

"Tell you what?" I replied.