From Hate to Love, From Love to Lust

As Kelly waited for the bus to arrive, she has been constantly checking her e-mails on her blackberry incase Lorie, her best friend decided to change her mind about all of this. The idea of coming back to England still felt strange in her ears, Kelly still wasn’t ready for her past to slap her in the face again. The bus finally arrived and Kelly hopped in along with her duffel bags, taking her to the last place she wanted to be.

“Kells!” Kelly heard the voice of her best friend, waving madly at her.

“Please tell me you’ve changed your mind,” She said, struggling with her duffel bags as she walked towards her.

“No,” Lorie only pouted, “This is really an emergency, Kells.”

Kelly only sighed at the sight of Lorie’s pout, “Your boyfriend owe me one.”

“I know!” Lorie clapped her hands, “I promise it’s gonna be fun!”

“What music video again?”

“They’re doing a video for ‘Kiss Me’,” Lorie answered as she slung the straps of Kelly bags to her shoulders, “Don’t worry, Ed will explain everything else.”

Kelly only nodded and remained silent as Lorie led her to the set of the music video, hoping that everything would go smoothly as Kelly hoped.

“What happened to Ashley?“

“Ugh, don’t ask,” Lorie rolled her eyes as she drove. “I hate her, she’s a complete bitch,” she added again, “She was obviously all over Ed, I couldn’t stand her.”

Kelly only shook her head at her best friend; sometimes she really didn’t get her. “Why don’t you just replace her instead of me?”

“Haven’t I told you I have to go to Bournemouth?” Lorie asked.

“No.”

“Well I have to take care some things there,” She explained, “work stuff, lame, I know.”

They both fell into a silence as Kelly’s mind wondered about herself being back in England. Her heart sank remembering the only person she was dying to see, she really had no idea what to say to him if she got to see those pair of green eyes that she loved so much.

--

“Thank you for doing this, Kells,” Ed said as he wiped a piece of his ginger hair away from his face, “I owe you one.”

Kelly only flashed him a smile as she struggled with the stiletto heels that the dresser told her to put on. She started to regret agreeing to wear it in the first place.

“Wait until you meet your co-star,” he said, leading her to his own trailer.

“Oh, I have a co-star?” Kelly turned to Ed, meeting his eyes.

“Lorie didn’t tell you about this?” He asked as he opened his trailer door, gesturing for Kelly to come in.

“She didn’t say anything.”

Kelly stepped inside; it was amazing how little the trailer can be. Numerous of beer cans strewn here and there, countless of delivery take-outs packages covering every space of the counter. But as cluttered as the trailer was, Ed managed to keep the vehicle organized in an unusual way. Christmas lights were dangling on the side of the window of the trailer, its lights making the place to light up as they rebounded over the small room. His guitar was perched on the corner of the lounge area, but what was sitting next to it made Kelly’s heart stopped.

“Hey Ed, I was wonderi—“ His smile fell as his eyes landed on the figure entering the room. Meeting her blue orbs as she remained in her spot, he felt his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Kelly, who was too, lost for words.

“Harry, I want you to meet—“

“Kelly?” He couldn’t help but to speak. His voice trembled, as if so many memories flashed before his eyes by only mentioning her name.

“Oh, you two know each other?” Ed stepped between the two, looking terribly confused at the situation.

Both of them only nodded as their eyes were still locked. They were all too lost for words. Well, maybe for Ed he really had no idea what was going on, as he was the one who brought the two of them in the same room.

“What are you doing here?” Harry decided to end the silence.

“She was the one I was telling you about, mate,” Ed said, “She’s your—“

“Co-star?” Harry cut him off, his face flashed with surprise. Turning to Ed.

Kelly’s heart dropped as she assumed that Harry didn’t like the idea about the two of them being in one screen, acting like lovers. It all made sense now, he hated her, the only thing she wanted to do was to storm off that trailer and never go back again. She was hurt, seeing his face brought too many bitter memories she has decided to bury a long time ago, and the last thing she wanted was seeing the person who was the reason she left England in the first place.

“I have no idea you two know each other,” Ed spoke up, glancing at Kelly.

“Oh we know each other all right,” Harry said, “We were—“

“Friends,” Kelly cut him off, “We’re just old friends.”

Kelly caught the sight of Harry’s face, it was flashing with anger. She also noticed a little bit of disappointment in his eyes but it was quickly replaced by a smirk on his lips.

“Friends? just friends?” he asked, “Are you sure?”

Ed really had no idea what’s going on between the two, he was starting to regret about his decision about making both of them to be in his music video. Putting Harry and Kelly in the same room would only lead to war world three, let alone making them to act as if they were lovers.

Kelly was trembling with fury. She gripped the edge of the counter tighter as she fought the urge to slap the boy in front of her, holding back to spit out the words that were kept inside her heart a long, long time ago.

“What are you even doing back, Kelly?” Harry asked again, “I thought you’re gone for good.”

“That’s none of your business,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Managed to break hearts again in the states?” Harry raised an eyebrow as he leaned back at his seat, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Harry,“ Ed tried to interrupt, but the thickness of the tension seemed to erase his presence in the room.

“Or you’ve decided to come back for more?” Harry kept pushing in with his words. “Was it not enough for you?”

A tear successfully escaped her eyes. She couldn’t handle it anymore; Harry’s words were too painful to hear making them like knives stabbing Kelly right through her chest.

“That’s enough,” She croaked out.

“What makes you possibly think—,“

“That’s enough, Harry!” shouted Kelly. Tears were streaming down her face now. Her chest caving in and out as her breath became unsteady with her sobs. She pushed Ed out of her way and stormed off his trailer, running away from it, running away from him. She didn’t care where her feet would take her to, as long it would bring her far from his presence.
She sobbed uncontrollably as she buried her face in her hands. Her mascara running down her face making her looked like a complete mess, but she didn’t care, all she wanted was to go anywhere far from this place. She carelessly tossed her clothes inside her duffel bag without even giving herself time to think twice, wiping away the tears and stepped out her trailer.

The night air was brutally cold, making Kelly to shiver as she hugged herself, walking towards the gate. Feeling completely ready to leave everything behind her, not even glancing back. Just like the first time.

“Running away again?”

That made Kelly stopped in her tracks, but she didn’t have to turn around to see the person was. She knew exactly who’s that voice belonged to. Kelly only remained at her spot, bracing herself for what he might say next.

“What is it with you?” He said, stopping.

“Is it that simple to give everything up once more?”

Kelly heard him taking another step towards her. Her heart skipped a beat, as she didn’t feel brave enough to turn and face him.

“Are you really that naïve and irresponsible to—“

“I’ve tried, Harry!” Kelly cried out, turning to him, “You probably won’t care, but I’ve tried!” Her chest was hurting as she fought back the tears from spilling out. “Thanks to you to ruin it all over again!”

“And you keep blaming this to me?” He said, shaking his head. “Of all people, Kelly? You’re blaming all this to me?”

“You made me do this,” Kelly exclaimed, “You made me like this, heck, you are the whole reason why I did this!” Kelly shot her index finger towards Harry, taking a step forward.

“How can you say that?” Harry said, almost a whisper. His green eyes never left hers. “How can you say all that, when you were the one who left?”

Kelly didn’t say anything. In fact, she remained at her spot, looking as fragile as ever in front of him, in front of the only person she ever loved.

“You left me no cho—“

“Don’t you dare say that!” Harry cut her off, “For God’s sake, Kelly? Will you ever come to your senses?” He shook his head at her.

Harry was furious now; his eyes fell to the duffel bag in her hands. “Incase you were trying to escape again, don’t. Just do this for Ed’s sake,” he said, turning away and headed towards his trailer, leaving Kelly alone.

Kelly was too lost for words; she was too overwhelmed by what just happened moments ago. The only person she ever cared hated her, now there was no reason for her to stay. The gate was only a couple of steps away; she could easily leave and forget everything else again. That was the only thing she could do best, running away.

--

“Now, please cooperate with me,” As Kelly took another sip of her hot coffee, she heard Davis, the director, mumbling something to Harry, whose face was nowhere near involved in the conversation.

They were shooting the first couple of scenes for the music video. Kelly stood still as the make up artist applied some powder to her face. As she gripped her mug tighter, she couldn’t help but to wonder back to last night’s encounter with Harry, which made her stomach turned every time she thought of it.

She stole a glance at Harry who was now looking frustrated as he kept on running his hand through his curly locks, leaning on the catering trailer as his eyes scanned the view in front of him. She didn’t really know how to act normally or pretend to, around him. At the last couple of scenes they had to do it again and again just to make their acting ‘believable’ that those two were actually lovebirds. It killed both of them to do that.

“Kelly,” she turned her attention to the voice, meeting Davis’s exhausted eyes. “Thank you for your effort in trying to be more cheerful in the video,” even his voice sounded exhausted.

She only forced a smile at him, “No problem,” Kelly said, that’s what I’m good at anyway, pretending, she thought.

“I’ll let you take a breather first, then I’ll call you when we are ready to do the kissing scene,” Davis said, squeezing her shoulder before he headed back to the field. Kelly didn’t have the chance to even say a word to him, he was already gone.

Now she really had no choice but to do it, running away was obviously out of the options, it was too late for that now, it was far too late. Kelly wondered if Harry already knew this was coming, but as her eyes fell at the sight of Davis talking to him again, his expression was dreary, as if he really couldn’t wait to get this over with.

Kelly took the chance to excuse herself to go to the toilet. Fixing her clothes and her make up briefly and taking the deepest breaths she ever took, calming herself. Kelly kept questioning in her mind why she was feeling this way.

I’ve kissed him, for God’s sake! It will be just like another typical, short and awkward kiss that I’ve had! She tried to tell herself that, but the more she tried, the more unsteady her heart went. It was like her first kiss all over again. She hated it. She hated feeling like this.

“Kells, we’re ready for you,” Kelly jumped when she heard the knock from the door. She let out another heavy sigh, fixed her hair and got out from the small squared room.

She walked calmly to the set; everyone was already there, prepared at their own positions. It felt like their looks were burning holes through Kelly’s back, but she knew she had no choice but to ignore them all.

“There you are, sweetheart,” Davis said, smiling at her.
Kelly saw Harry was also ready at his spot for the video, where they would shoot the last scene of the day, the kissing scene.

“Now, if you just—“ Davis grabbed her shoulders, leading Kelly to her spot awfully close to Harry, “stand here,” Davis trailed off, thinking to himself. Harry and Kelly’s hands brushed as she stood next to him. She could even breathe in his scent for standing almost too close.

“Perfect,” Davis said, looking at us. “Now face each other.”

Harry and Kelly sighed in unison, facing each other because the two basically had no choice but to finish the scene. Kelly’s blue orbs met Harry’s green ones directly; their eyes were locked in a heartbeat, each of them lost in their gaze.

“Kelly, put you arms around him” Davis chimed in again, having no idea the two’s heart has been slamming off their chests. Kelly carefully put her arms on the back of Harry’s neck, intertwining her fingers together. Now they really looked like they were about to kiss. Their faces were only a couple of inches away from each other. Kelly could already feel Harry’s breathing above her head.

“When I say action, you know what to do,” Said Davis. He looked pretty much exhausted from doing his job as the director, especially when his amateur actors hated each other’s guts.

“And,” Davis stopped, “Action.”

None of them flinched from their spot. Refusing to make the first move, instead, they remained frozen at their position. Confused on what to do, Harry turned his head towards Davis, away from Kelly.

“You both knew you are going to kiss, right?” Davis said, taking a deep sigh.

“This isn’t working,” Harry said, but his hand remained on Kelly’s waist.

“It will work, Harry,” Davis replied, “Have you seen the chemistry between you two? It’s killing me, man.”

Harry only shook his head and sighed, not letting out a single word. Just like Kelly who remained silent the whole time.

“Shall we try this again?” Davis asked, Harry and Kelly only stole a glance with each other and nodded, not saying anything. “Just take it slowly,” he said, “I know you’re a master in snogging, Mr. Styles.”

Harry only rolled his eyes in annoyance and kept his mouth shut as he refused to respond. Davis was starting to get on his nerves, he wasn’t really sure of he could hold back the urge to punch him in the face anymore.

“Action.”

Kelly looked up to meet his intense gaze; Harry was starting to lean down to her just as she tried to stand on her tiptoe. Their faces were only inches away now, Harry was so close to Kelly, she could only hear his breathing. Their nose started to touch and his lips finally brushing hers. Harry decided to put his hand under her chin and lift Kelly’s face up to meet his eyes. Both of them locked their gaze for one last time, before Harry pressed his lips slowly to hers. It only lasted for a couple of seconds as Kelly felt him pulling away from her. Her heart sank, craving for more.

The whole set fell to an incredibly awkward silence as Harry ended the kiss. Kelly turned her head to Davis, who looked nowhere near satisfied of their little act.

“Is that really the best you can do?” he asked, a smile escaped his lips.

“For God’s sake, Davis, you’re starting to piss me—“

“You call that a snog?” someone shouted from the catering area, it was Josh, a friend of Harry and Ed’s who was grinning foolishly as he watched them from the distant.

“Yeah, just snog the crap out of her, Harry,” this time was Ed now, “You’ve got nothing to lose, mate.”

Harry only shook his head at them, feeling helpless as he couldn’t do anything to his friends. He couldn’t help but to also enjoy those short couple of seconds as he got to feel those lips against his again though, he even forgot how it felt like. It was like a jolt of electricity as their lips touched; he regretted he ended it too soon.

“Take three?” Davis said.

“Yes,” Ed and Josh shouted from his spot. Harry and Kelly sent both of them death glares, if looks could kill, they would already be six feet under.

“Okay, take three,” Davis announced, “And action.”

This time Harry did not waste a second. He leaned down towards her and kissed her fully on the mouth. He grasped the side of Kelly’s face and held her; his other hand went to her back. Kelly’s fingers were lost in Harry’s hair, pulling him in closer to her as their lips kept moving in synch. So many thoughts were rushing through their mind, each of them not finding a good reason to stop their foolish act. Kelly was starting to pull away from the kiss, gasping for air, but Harry didn’t waste anymore time as he pulled her closer again, closing the gap between the two, continuing their kiss.

It was like they have been waiting for this forever. Those two long years when Kelly was gone, those two long years that killed Harry, longing for her to fill in his days with her presence, embracing him with her hugs and kisses that he loved so much. But that didn’t matter anymore because he finally had her in his arms again.

He tightened his grasp around her waist, making Kelly to unable to move. Their lips were still locked with each other, now letting out the anger as Harry started to kiss her with such force and aggressiveness for leaving him. Anger and lust could never be one, as they would only lead nowhere but more lust and anger. Kelly pulled away from him, putting both of her hands to the side of his cheeks. The two stared at each other as they tried to catch their breaths; they were too lost for words.

“Okay,” the voice of Davis cut the both off from their thoughts, “That was…”

“Intense!” Someone shouted, followed by a whistle.

Kelly and Harry were still in daze on what just happened. They didn’t need to say anything else they already knew what’s going to happen next.

“I love the intensity, but it was too—“ Davis trailed off, “lust-y.”

“We don’t give a shit,” Josh said, “We love it.”

Harry and Kelly were still frozen at their spot. Literally ignoring everyone’s comments that they have been throwing at the two. Harry’s hands never left the back of Kelly’s. A small smirked crept on his lips as he leaned down to her ears,

“My place?” he whispered.

Kelly only smiled and gave him a little peck on the lips, “So nice to be yours again, Mr. Styles.”