I'm Alright Like This

----------Few Years Later--------------------

“Luce! Come here!” he yelled.
“What?” I yelled from our kitchen. I was making lunch for us and focusing on not missing the pan when I flipped the grilled cheese like I did the past few times.
“You need to come hear this please!”
“Lex, I’m in the middle of making you lunch can you come here?” I yelled back. I wasn’t quite sure why we were yelling. Our house was fairly big, but he was just two rooms down the hall. I heard him groan before I heard his footsteps stomping like a toddlers toward me.
“Its like you know I can’t resist your cooking,” he kissed my head and I noticed he had his guitar in his hand. “I’m working on a new song and I need you to hear it.”
“Of course.” I smiled.

“Just a couple kids on a summer street
Chasing around to a flicker beat
Making mistakes that were made for us
We brushed them off like paper cuts
You said you're sick and tired of it, it
But I need you morning, night, and day
I miss you every single way-ay-ay
We said forever but forever wouldn't wait for us
You were my last young renegade heartache
It only took one night
Caught in the eye of a hurricane, darling
We had to say goodbye…”

I teared up as he kept singing. I was immediately taken back to the one time we broke up before a tour.

---------Two years earlier-----------

“Alex I can’t do this anymore.” I sighed and sat on the couch in the studio.
“What can’t you do Luce? Be supportive? You know that this is always a crazy time for me.”
“I know that because it becomes all you focus on. You’re always writing, and recording and then rewarding yourself at the bar. If its not the bar, its our liquor cabinet. I’m sick and tired of it, Lex.”
“Lucy, its just what happens. Writing brings out a lot of emotion. And there’s a bunch of pressure to make the songs perfect. You know how it is.”
“No, I really don’t anymore. Not all of us are in a successful band anymore.”
“Babe that’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I just think this tour is coming at a good time.” I looked at the rug for a minute before I looked up and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Meaning?” his eyes were glued to the ground.
“Meaning we should take it as a break to figure out if this is really what we want. We both know we rushed into this whole relationship so we should just take time to remember who we are on our own and if we still want each other.”
“Fine.” He stood up and opened the door for me without making eye contact. I walked about without looking back at him, hearing the door slam shut behind me.

I thought I was right in doing this. All he did was drink and party lately. I had told him a thousand times to cut it out or he’ll lose me so he shouldn’t be so surprised that I finally gave up on him. I got that he had to party as part of his job but he was taking it to an extreme. He would go out without me, come home, and fall into another drunken slumber before waking up hungover as shit and being miserable. It wasn’t fair to me. He was the guy I fell in love with two years ago.

That turned out to be the worst decision I made in my life. The two months without him sucked so bad. We didn’t talk the entire time. Jack, Rian and Zack didn’t talk to me much about him either which didn’t help. I was obviously following where their tour was and counting down the days until he would be home so we could fix everything. I hated who I became when he wasn’t around. I spent most nights alone on the couch drinking bottles of wine, or going to local bars to check out the music scene getting myself depressed about the dream that had died for me. I kept in touch with Jenny and some of the guys from the band but I basically hid in my house for two months.
One morning, I decided I needed to get my life back together and started going to for runs like I used to. I was heading for my daily run and when I opened the door, I saw a man standing there with a giant bouquet of flowers. I couldn’t see his face behind the flowers but I saw a denim jacket, oversized white shirt, tight black pants with holes in the knees and black converse sneakers. I knew it was him immediately when he lifted his left hand and I saw the rose tattoo and I burst into tears. I hugged him as tight as I could. We said nothing for a few minutes, we just held each other.

“I am so sorry,” I said through the sobs.
“Don’t be,” I could hear in his voice that he was choked up as well. I kissed him like I had dreamt about kissing him for two months.

-------------Present Time-----------

“You were my last young renegade heartache, How could I let you, how could I let you Don't want to let you, I'll never let you go.” He finished singing and I hugged him as tight as I could.
“I love it, Lex.” I kissed his cheek and finished making his sandwich.
“I think its gonna be the concept for the next album,” he said with a smile as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
“I can’t wait to hear the rest babe,” I placed a glass of water in front of him and kissed his head.
“I started writing that song a couple years ago but just finally pieced it together,” he tried to talk with food in his mouth. I sat next to him and took a deep breath. We both had kinda just dropped that whole thing and moved on.
“I could tell. I really like it, Lex.” I tried to smile but all the pain from those couple of months slowly came back.
“Are you sure? You don’t seem like it.”
“I do. We just haven’t really talked about that so I figured it was gone and forgotten. I didn’t expect you to write a song about it.”
“Luce, you know I wrote songs about everything. You wrote about me too a few times. Its just how we deal with things. I wasn’t trying to make you upset.” He put his and on my arm and stroked it with his thumb.
“Its just that that was the worst decision I ever made,” I got up and started doing the dishes. “Those were the two worst months of my life. I was constantly worrying about you and I tried to get info out of the guys but they wouldn’t tell me anything and-“
“There was nothing to tell, babe,” he got up and hugged me from behind. “All I did was play shows, do press stuff, and write. I cut back on the drinking like you asked me to and thought of all the ways to get you back.” I felt his lips kiss the back of my head. I turned around and put my head to his chest and hugged him.
“Who would’ve thought that two people who were pretending to date would fall in love,” I whispered.
“I knew,” Alex said confidently. “The minute you walked into the living room, I thought, damn she’s gorgeous. This’ll be easy to pretend. Then we hung out that night and we just clicked. I know we rushed into all of this but it felt right to do it, Luce. It felt natural with you.” He put his finger under my chin so I could look up at him and kissed my forehead. “You were my last young renegade heartbreak, how could I let you, how could I let you go?” he sang quietly. I pressed my lips to his.
“Stop being so absolutely perfect.” I pulled away and finished the dishes while he sat back down to his lunch.
“This grilled cheese is fantastic by the way, Goose. Thank you.” I looked at him smiling and splashed some water at him. “HEY!”
“Whoops?” I laughed. He got up and threw me over his shoulder before walking outside. He used one of his hands to check my pockets and I was confused as to why until I realized he was walking towards the pool. “ALEXANDER DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT---“ I was cut off by water surrounding us. I got to the surface and immediately started splashing him when I saw his head pop up.

We played for a few minutes before he called a truce and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he swam us to the wall. His hands held my face as his lips danced with mine. I put my fingers in his wet hair and kept trying to pull him closer and closer to my body. I felt his hands all over my body and I gently bit his lip while kissing him which made him groan.

“You’re too much for me Lucy Harris,” he said with his forehead pressed to mine. “What am I going to do with you?”
“I have a few ideas…” I winked.