I'm Alright Like This

“Maybe your skeletons can dance with mine, I think that they would get along. Maybe they can show us how to be fine and make right of everything wrong. We can try to make sense of life and watch as our skeletons dance all night.” I sang as I gently strummed my guitar. I had started writing a bit for myself lately. I occasionally helped Alex write for the band but began to get ideas for my own stuff. I found myself playing some of the Surrender Seventeen songs recently too.

Man, I can’t begin to describe how much I miss those days. Waking up in a different city, meeting all the fans who were there for me, hearing their stories of how I inspired them…never got old. Of course I still do that when I travel with Alex but it was nice when it was directed towards me. I have a few fans who still remember me as Lucy from Surrender Seventeen, rather than Lucy, Alex’s girlfriend and I always make sure to go the extra mile to thank them. It had been a few years since we decided to end the band but it still hurt sometimes. It was a mutual decision between all of us in the band and our label. I kept in touch with the guys from the band but never really saw them. They had all moved on to other projects or start families.

There was a coffee shop downtown who turned into a little music venue at night and I had slowly started playing the open mic nights they had there. The only following I had was Alex, some of his friends, a few of my friends in LA and some random people I had slowly became friends with. Nothing major but I loved playing shows for people. It was always my favorite night of the week.

“LOOSAAAYYY!” Alex yelled from downstairs.
“Yes my most likely drunk lover?” I called back.
“Not drunk, just Alex. Come down here please!” he yelled back. I rolled my eyes and put my guitar away before making my way down the stairs to find Alex.
“What’s up babe?” I asked when I finally found him sitting in the kitchen, which probably should’ve been the first place I looked.
“How much do you love me?” he asked through an ear to ear grin.
“What did you do and how much is it going to cost us?” I leaned on my elbows on the counter across from him.
“Just answer the question.” His smile faded a little.
“You know how much I love you, Lex,” I sighed a little and leaned on one of my hands. “I tell you every day how in love with you I am…even when you pull annoying stunts like this.”
“Remember that answer okay?”
“Okay?” I said but really asked.
“How would you like to go on tour?” his smile exploded back onto his face as he leaned against the back of his chair.
“What do you mean? I’m already planning on going on the next tour with you like I’ve done a million times now.”
“Let me rephrase,” he leaned forward. “How would you like to go back on tour? And perform?”
“Alex, what are you talking about? Did you drink another skunked beer baby? I told you a few times now that you have to pay attention to the date on the can, love—“
“Lucy, stop. Think about what I am asking.”
“We both know how much I miss touring, Lex.” I adjusted myself so I was standing up straight resting my hands on the counter.
“Then it’s a done deal,” he leaned back again and folded his arms as a proud smile pulled at his lips. I gave him a look and he continued talking. “I had one of my record label friends stop by your last gig at the coffee place and he loved you, Luce. He sent a video to one of his friends and they set it up so you’re doing a small acoustic tour next month.”

My eyes went wide. Although my palms were on the cold counter, I felt them start clamming up. My mouth opened but no words or sounds came out. Was he serious? After a minute, I made my way around the counter to get closer to him.

“Alexander William Gaskarth, I swear to god if you are messing with my right now, I will be very angry with you and you’ll sleep on the couch until I deem you worthy of the bed again.” I stared right into his beautiful brown eyes trying to read them.
“This isn’t something I would joke about, Lucy. We both know that.” He looked back into my eyes and smiled a little and I felt a sudden rush of excitement take over my body. I jumped into his lap and started kissing him and saying thank you a million times.

“They said depending on how the tour goes, they’ll have you record a full length album but they want you to record an acoustic EP and they’ll promote it. We can do it in the basement studio if you want. We’ll get Rian to help too.” He was running his fingers through my hair and I couldn’t stop smiling. Hell, I was on the brink of tears.
“I don’t know what to say besides thank you, Alex,” I rested my forehead on his and closed my eyes. “I can’t believe this.”

“Okay Lucy just sing the second verse again, please.” Rian said into my headphones. We were on the third or fourth hour of recording the same song and I was getting frustrated. It never took me this long when I was with the band. I nodded and started singing again when I heard the music cue. Rian told me I could step out of the booth and I walked and sat in the rolly chair next to him. He hit buttons and clicked stuff on the computer and finally smiled his ten-thousand-watt smile. “Wanna hear it?”
“The whole song? Its done already?” I asked slowly.
“Yeah,” he leaned back a bit in his chair. “I edit while we’re recording which is why it takes a little longer. You ready?”

I nodded and put the head phones on and listened to the music start. As the song played, a smile spread across my lips. It was exactly how I had imagined the song singing. It sounded absolutely perfect.

“Holy shit Ri,” I put the headphones around my neck. “That sounds perfect! Thank you!” I hugged him and we went upstairs to get some drinks.
“You should drink some tea to help your voice.” Rian suggested as he sat at the island in our kitchen.
“Oh trust me I know,” I laughed while grabbing the honey out of the cabinet. “I was on a strict tea and water only diet while we used to record with the band. No soda, no beer, no liquor….it was awful but pretty worth it at the same time.”
“I’m sure it’ll be better this time around. Alex said they’ll definitely love whatever you send them. Speaking of, where is he? I figured he would want to witness this whole process.”
“I thought so too but he said he had a few things to do today. He didn’t say anything specific.” I bounced the tea bag in the hot water and took a gentle sip. “You don’t think he's up to anything stupid right?”
“Oh god no, Luce.”
“But what could be more important to him than this? I'm not trying to sound like a brat but he’s the one that set this whole thing up. Its weird to me that he isn’t here bugging us about perfecting everything and being his usual writing self.”
“He could just want you to have this experience for yourself? You never know what’s going on in his head.”
“Yeah you’re right,” I took another sip of tea and just held it close to my face letting my mind wander.
“Don’t stress too much about it, Lucy. Focus on the music. Hell, write about what you're feeling. Add another song to the to do list.” Rian laughed a little as he finished a bottle of water.

“Goose?” I heard him yell. I had fallen asleep on our couch and knew he would find me eventually so I didn’t say anything. “Oh, there you are babe.” He sat on the couch and put my legs in his lap before gently rubbing my back. I opened my eyes slowly.
“Where’d you end up today?” I mumbled.
“Just running some errands,” he moved so he could stroke my hair. “Some band stuff and some personal stuff. How was recording?”
“It was pretty good. We recorded two songs and Rian got me to write a new one on the spot. Its coming along really well.”
“That’s great to hear, Luce. Can I lay with you?”
“Of course,” I moved so he had room on the couch and took a relaxing breath as his arms wrapped around me. I waited a minute and turned so I was facing him. “You would tell me if there was something going on, right?”
“Something like what?”
“Just in general. Like if there was something I was doing wrong or if you were unhappy with me now.”
“What makes you think I’m unhappy with you?”
“I dunno,” I buried my face in his chest. “I just kind of wished you were here today.” I said a lot quieter.
“I’m sorry, love,” he held me closer. “I figured this was something you wanted to do on your own. I know how I get during this process so I figured I would give you a little space. If you want me there I’ll be there whenever you want. You know that.” He kissed my head and let his head rest there.
“Rian said the same thing. He figured you wanted me to experience this for myself.”
“Exactly. Its your first time doing this completely on your own. You don’t have the band to confer with. It’s all up to you and I wanted to make sure it ended up coming out exactly how you wanted and pictured it coming out.”
“Thank you, Lex.”
“Of course, Lucy. I love you babe.” He used his finger to lift my head up.
“I love you so much.” I pressed my lips to his for gentle kiss.