I'm Alright Like This

“Alright we’re gonna try just having you sing I from top to bottom,” Rian said. “Whenever you’re ready, Luce.”
“5,6,7,8,” I said then starting singing the song Rian and I had just finished writing. It was the last one we needed for my album and I was stuck between pure excitement and debilitating nerves. I sang with everything in me and took a deep breath after the last note and looked out to where Rian was sitting. Alex had joined him and they both had ginormous smiles on their faces.
“And that’s a wrap!” Rian said into the talk back. “Come on out Lucy!” I smiled awkwardly and came out of the booth to be attacked into a hug by both the guys.

“Lucy I am so proud of you!” I heard Alex say. “That sounded amazing.”
“It really did! I've never heard someone nail it in one take like that!” Rian said.
“Thanks guys,” I muttered into both their shoulders and they finally took the hint that I was being crushed. “Let me hear it back?” I sat on the couch and Rian clicked around and did whatever he had to and then started playing the song and I couldn’t help but smile. I usually didn’t like listening to myself sing but this sounded too good. I hugged them again and thanked Rian for all of his hard work.
“We have to go out to celebrate!” Alex suggested.
“I second that for sure.” Rian high fived Alex.
“I am surprisingly okay with that,” I laughed. “Give me a few minutes to get ready.”
“Of course, Luce,” Alex slid his arms around my waist. “I’ll call the rest of the guys and gals and we’ll all meet at The Bar at 8. Sound good Ri?”
“Sounds like a plan to me, dude. I’m gonna head home to change and I’ll see you guys there.” I thanked him again before he walked up the stairs.
“I am so incredibly proud of you, Lucy Harris,” Alex smiled pulling me closer and brushing some hair out of my face. “I'm happy you're doing this for yourself.”
“Well I have you to thank for it, Alexander Gaskarth. I wouldn’t be working on this if you didn’t pull some strings so thank you, babe.” I kissed him gently and hugged him before going upstairs to the shower. Alex said he would be up a few minutes after me.

I walked all the way up to our master bathroom and turned the water on to a comfortable temperature and began undressing. I turned on some music like I always do when I shower and got in. I let my hair down and started washing my body and singing along to Heaven by Julia Michaels when I heard the bathroom door squeak open more than it was already.

“Mind if I join you?” Alex asked as he stepped into the shower behind me.
“Guess I don’t exactly have a choice there, do I, Mr Gaskarth?” I smiled as I felt his hands touch my shoulders and glide down my body, stopping at my stomach. I felt his breath move from the back of my neck to the right side of it and began anticipating a kiss, but was let down. Alex always knew how to tease me. His left hand left my stomach and trailed up to move my hair before I finally felt his lips on my neck. I closed my eyes and leaned into him. I was always amazed by the power he had over me. While I was thinking about that, I was pulled from my thoughts by right hand creeping towards the more sensitive part of my body.
“Do we even have time for this, babe?” I barely said due to my lack of breath. I felt his lips smirk against my skin.
“There’s always time for this, love, especially when we’re celebrating you all night.” I leaned my head back towards him and was met with his lips. He kissed me for about five seconds before his fingers met my womanhood. I gasped and grasped onto his left arm, with his fingers still tangled in my hair. His fingers kept working and working which made me moan louder and louder until he turned me around and leaned me against the wall. He positioned himself at the entrance and quickly put himself in. He gave me a second to adjust and then had me moaning louder than before. I had one arm wrapped around him, the other clinging onto the wall. We thrusted into each other harder and harder, both begging each other for more until we reached the high together. He kissed me as we slowly fell back from the high and we both just smiled.

“I love you so much, Lucy.”
“I love you so much more, Alex.”

We got to the bar and were immediately met with shots on shots. I kept yelling about how I wanted to remember this night and every single time, Jack yelled that I'm not allowed to remember back at me. We danced for hours until the lights came on at the club before we all headed back to our house. We kept the party going for a few more hours. One of Jack’s friends, Peyton and I had been talking for a little bit and I felt the drunkenness starting to wear off.

“Are you so excited to be touring again?” She asked in a super excited tone.
“I am! I'm a little nervous but I think after one or two shows I’ll be a little better.”
“I think you're gonna kill it! I've been a fan of yours since the Surrender Seventeen days and when Jack told me about you going back on tour I freaked out!”
“Thank you! I hope the rest of the fans feel that way.” I smiled.
“They will! How could they not? You're a natural born rockstar. You were made to be on stage!”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I heard in my ear as two arms wrapped around my waist. I could only smell the distinct scent of whiskey which meant Alex had snuck up on me.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Peyton smiled before walking towards the kitchen.

“I love you Lucy,” he slurred.
“I love you too, Lex, but wasn’t this supposed to be my night to get wasted?” I laughed as he started swaying a little.
“Well you started saying all this stuff about wanting to remember the night so I started taking your shots for you like any gentleman would.” He nodded his head for emphasis.
“Okay, tough guy lets get you up to bed then,” I stood up and had him lean into me.
“But theres still a party!” he yelled and waved his arm towards everyone.
“There is but it’s a little after three and you’ve had a long night, babe.”
“Ugh, fine,” he pouted for a second then let me hold him up as we walked upstairs. I set him down on the bed so he was sitting, but he kept his arms around me causing us to both fall onto the bed.
“Lex, c'mon I have to go make sure the house doesn’t get destroyed.” I said while I tried to get up.
“We’re gonna get married.” He said with a huge grin on his face.
“What? Says who?” I stopped trying to get up and brushed some hair out of his face.
“Says me! Silly goose!”
“Huh, well shouldn’t I have a say in who I marry?”
“You should but I would like to think and hope that its me.” He held me a little closer and kissed my head.
“Go to sleep, babe. You’re drunk.” I smiled and kissed him gently before going back downstairs. I reached into my purse and grabbed a few things and walked out to the back patio.

I grabbed a chair and sat just past the bottom of the steps out of the house where I could perfectly see the stars. I packed a little bowl of weed and inhaled it and looked at the stars again.
Did he really mean that we would get married? I mean I want to get married to him so bad but is now the right time? Whats the rush? Tour is already throwing me for a loop so can’t we just tackle one thing at a time? I thought to myself. I was interrupted by the back door opening.

“Does he know you smoke?” Rian says with his hands in his pockets.
“I'm not actually sure,” I took another hit. “I barely do it anymore. Just when things get to be a little too much for me.”
“Oh god, what did he do?”
“Alex? Nothing! We’re fine!” I laughed a little. “I put him to bed and he said that we’re gonna get married.”
“Oh really? Has he said anything like that before?”
“Not that I recall.” I took a deep breath and was silent for a few moments. “Its just a lot to think about, you know? I don’t think I can handle touring and planning a wedding at the same time.”
“Well he technically hasn’t proposed yet, Luce,” Rian said slowly. “How about you wait to panic about all those details until he actually kneels down with a ring in his hands?”
“Ugh why are you always the voice of reason RiGuy?”
“I think its part of the job description,” We both laughed and hugged. “I think we’re all about to head out. Zack did a lot of the cleaning so it wont be too bad for you whenever you decide to go inside.”
“Thank you,” I hugged him again. “And thank you for all your help with this album. You're amazing to work with. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. I'm serious.”
“Hey I really just organized all the thoughts in your head, that’s it.”
“Well, I know that that wasn’t easy. But get going its late. We can talk tomorrow. Tell everyone I went up to bed or something?”
“Of course, Luce. Give Alex hell tomorrow on top of the hangover he’ll have.”
“That’s definitely in MY job description,” I laughed. Rian walked inside and I took another hit off my bowl.

The stars were so bright that I got lost in them. Not really lost in my thoughts but lost in the moment. After who knows how long, I felt myself getting tired. I took a deep breath and saw some light starting to show in the distance which meant the sun would be up soon. I smiled and walked inside and locked the doors before crawling into bed with my passed out boyfriend. I kissed his cheek and looked up at him for a few seconds.

The thought of being able to this every night doesn’t seem that bad. Why was I so worked up? Now you know that he wants to spend forever with you.

I gently placed a kiss on his lips before whispering “I love you” and smiled when his arms tightened around me. I nuzzled my head into where his neck and shoulder meet and slowly drifted off to sleep.