So Bittersweet By Our Design

"Makayla, oh Makayla, come out, come out wherever you are." Mike chanted behind my closet door. I was hiding in my closet, avoiding him because he was drunk. I held my breath, praying to God he wouldn't open the door and do damage to me. "Makayla Jade, it's better to just come out and take your beating instead of hiding and facing the consequences."

I bit my lip and took in what he was saying. I would rather have less of a beating than having one hell of one. I twisted the doorknob and climbed out, being punched in the face as soon as possible. I fell and quickly regained stance. I jumped onto my bed and darted around his swinging fist, running for the door.

Before I could make it downstairs, I got caught by the shirt. I was stuck. I got punched in the face again and pushed down the flight of eighteen steps. My bones crackled and popped with each flip and each impact against the hard wooden stairs. I let out a loud whimper as soon as I came to a stop.

"You're so naive, Jade." he chucked from a few stairs up. I made eye contact with his dark angry eyes and waited for his next move. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sharp knife, switching it out. It glimmered in the light and called my name. "See you in Hell Makayla Jade."

"There was more than one shooter involved in the JFK assassination."

"No!" I shouted, sitting up quickly. I had fallen asleep in history class due to the boring lesson of our new history teacher since our old teacher was in jail for running me down that night a week ago.

"Miss Everett, are you alright?" Mr. Foreman asked me, giving me the world's strangest look.

I broke out into tears and shook my head. I couldn't control myself at all over this. What if that dream could turn out to be real?

"Mr. Foreman?" I heard the voice of Alex Gaskarth. "Can I take her outside, please?"

"Yes you may, Mr. Gaskarth."

"Thank you." Alex said, getting up from his seat to come to me. All the others in the class stared as he walked over, helped me from my chair, and escorted me out of the class. He walked me to the bathrooms and water fountains, where it was secluded. "Makayla, are you okay?"

"N-No." I stuttered. "I'm really not. I'm terrified right now."

"What's wrong?"

"I fell asleep in History and had a scary d-dream."

"I figured that most part." he wrapped his arms around me. "It's alright, Jade."

"No! What if it comes true, Alex?" I sobbed into his shirt.

"What happened anyway?"

"Mike was after me again and I hid in my closet. I was naive and listened to him when he said that my consequences for hiding would be less than they would be if he had to find me. I left the closet and got punched. I ran and got pushed down the stairs in my house.. Next thing I knew, he pulled a knife on me and that's where it ended."

"I am so sorry. I will not let it happen, okay?" he gave me a tight squeeze. I whimpered in pain and he let loose of me. "Sorry, I forgot you were still fragile."

"I'll always be fragile." I reminded him. "I want to run away."

"Makayla, don't. Please."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to leave again and something happen again." he sighed.

"Alex, this isn't fair. I need to leave. What if it really does happen? What if it wasn't just a dream, but a warning?" I cried, wiping away my tears.

"Where are you gonna go?"

"I don't know. I'll figure that out when I go through with it again."

"Makayla."

"Alex."

"Come up with a plan first, please." he frowned. "I'll help you."

"Really?" a smile lit up on my face. I attacked him in a hug and buried my face in his shirt. "Alex, you're the best. Really."

"I will if you make me a promise."

"Dang it.." I sighed. "What?"

"Do it after you're legal age, please."

"Alex! Ugh!"

"Makayla, please."

"Fine. But if I get a knife pulled on me, I'm breaking that promise."

"Fine by me." he rested his chin on my head. "You wanna skip?"

"Please?" I looked up at him.

"I need to go to my locker to get my keys and jacket. Go clean yourself up really quickly while I do." he broke away from the embrace. I nodded and watched him walk halfway down the hallway. I turned and went into the girl's bathroom, finding a group of girls standing in front of the mirror primping.

Pretending like they weren't there, I grabbed a paper towel and wet it down to clean off the smeared mess around my eyes. Instead of trying to clean it up, I wiped it off completely. I don't think Alex would really care if I was an ugly mess. He did see me in the hospital and he just saw me cry. I'm pretty sure he could handle my ugliness without the mask.

I stood there, staring blankly into the mirror before I went out. I picked up what the girls were talking about. I laughed to myself because it was all about Alex.

"Did you see Alex Gaskarth today?" the blonde one asked.

"Yes, he looks freaking gorgeous!" the other giggled. "Isn't he single?"

"Yeah I think."

"Do you think I'd have a shot?"

"Probably not, I don't think he's into gingers." the blonde laughed.

"He doesn't have to know my natural hair color is red!" she rolled her eyes.

"Do you think he's a virgin?"

"Probably not! What girl would not take the opportunity and fuck that?"

"Abstinent girls?" she laughed.

I shook my head and turned around, walking towards the door. I had heard enough of their silly talk over Alex. When I came out, Alex was getting a drink at the water fountain. I picked my foot up and gave him a kick in the butt. He whirled around and smiled at me, shaking his head.

"We've been friends a week and you're already touching my butt?" he laughed.

"Yeah, it's just so sexy!" I laughed along with him. "Can we ditch now?"

"Yeah, yeah. Lets go." he put his arm around my shoulders, leading me to the back doors. We stealthily ran to his car and got in it, sitting there for a moment. "God, my mom's going to kill me." he laughed. "Where to my lady?"

"Can we go to the bridge?"

"Yes ma'am, we can." he started the engine. He backed out of the parking space and hauled it into drive. He drove quickly away from the school and down the road that led to the old bridge.

After a few moments of silence and the sound of the heavy rain hitting his windshield, we finally arrived at the bridge. "Can we sit here until the rain stops? I don't want to go out in it and get sick."

"Same here. I've got band practice at six."

"Band practice?"

"Yeah! I'm in a band, remember?" he smiled. "You should come with me."

"You sure?" I raised an eyebrow. "I don't want to go if you guys suck."

"Thanks.."

"No problem. But I'm kidding. You probably don't suck." I giggled.

"No, the music's terrible." he laughed. "People just like the band because we're all hot."

"Oh please."

"It's true. Listen to most girls around school talk."

"I've already heard it." I rolled my eyes. "There was two girls in the bathroom chattering on about you."

"What were they saying?"

I cleared my voice. "Ugh, oh my God, Alex Gaskarth is so hot! He's so gorgeous. I would so hit that." I said in a high pitched voice, imitating the blondes.

"That's about it." he shook his head. "You've got a good impression on Liz Moore and Jenna Stevens."

"What?"

"As I put my arm around you before we left, they walked out of the bathroom and were staring at us."

"Oh joy. I'll be suspected as your new girlfriend now." I rolled my eyes.

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing because I've only known you for a week."

"True. But lets face it, I'm already your best friend, right?" he smirked.

"Eh, close enough. You know a lot for being a week into a friendship." I quietly answered, looking out the window.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shrugged. "I just like the rain."

"It's been raining it's ass off for the last week. You're in luck." he smiled. "Hey, while we're watching the rain, we should play twenty questions."

"You play kid games, Alexander." I giggled. "But okay. Ask your silly questions."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, I've got an older brother named Jacob. He's in the military and he's stationed in Afghanistan right now." I shrugged. "You?"

"I've got an older brother named Tom and two older sisters. Tom just kinda sits around at my parent's house all day long and eats our food, then goes home. It's his life story, really." he laughed. "Any amazing childhood memories I should know about?"

"My brother took me to see Blink-182 in DC last time he was home." I giggled. "That's as amazing as it gets. But the best I have is when I was a little girl and my real dad was still in the picture. Every Friday, he'd always take Jake and I to an old fast food restaurant and buy us corndogs and tater tots. It was the greatest ever. That's why whenever I'm eating fast food, it's always a corndog and tater tots."

"You were at the Blink show? You're shitting me, right? I was there too! I went down with Jack and saw them. And we're so alike. I like me some tater tots and corndogs."

"What's your special little memory, Alex?"

"Well, when I was younger, I moved from England to Baltimore. That's it." he chuckled, flipping his dark hair out of his eyes. "Hmm.. Are you single?"

"Pssht. What kind of question is this? Look at me. No one would touch me with a ten foot pole." I rolled my eyes.

"I would." he winked. "You're truly too beautiful, Makayla Jade."

I sat there and blushed. He was too sweet. "Thanks I guess. But really though, Alex. The only guys I've ever been close to and have made physical contact with is Jake, Liam, and you."

"Guys are missing out. You're genuine. I'm surprised everyone isn't tripping and fighting over you." a smile tugged at his lips.

"What about you, Mr. Sex God?" I laughed, completely disregarding his statement.

"I'm currently not spoken for. I had a girlfriend, but she moved away. Long distance wasn't working out for us so we cut it off. It's no big deal." he shrugged. "I didn't feel much love out of it anyway. Now if it was true love, I would've stayed."

"Oh well, that's nice. You've got tons of girls after you."

"Yeah I know. I'd hate to break it to them, but I don't want them. They're all too.. I don't know. Preppy? Not my type? I like my girls down to earth, not thinking about skirts and heels. Definitely girls who don't force me to go shopping with them. I hate shopping."

"I do too. So much! I have to do my own clothes shopping though. If I left my mom to do it, I'd end up with skirts, dresses, and heels. Hell, then she'd try to change everything else about me. The way I talk, the way I walk, my hair color. Etcetera!"

"I can't picture you blonde or in skirts or in heels. If it ever happened, I'd probably be lucky to see it, right?" he grinned.

"Yeah, definitely." I smiled at him. "I've really thought about going to prom this year since it's our Senior year, but I really don't know about it."

"Do it. I'm going." he rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe we could.. Maybe we could go together? I hope this isn't too soon to ask or anything, but it's just an idea."

"It's a fairly decent idea. I can see myself being friends with you by the time April comes."

"Aren't we friends now?"

"Again, yes we are. You're turning into a best friend, Alexander Gaskarth."

"Good." he laughed. "Just pick out the color of your dress and I'll color coordinate my tux. "

"What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Usually, couples at prom match. They don't necessarily have to, but usually they do."

"Oh well. Silver, black, aqua, or a turquoise color." I giggled. "But I have to go first."

"You have time to think it through." he shrugged.

"I do, don't I?" I laughed.
---

I spent the next few hours in his car with him, talking away while it poured down outside. We had fallen asleep sometime in between and was woken up by his phone blowing up. He tiredly sat up in the seat and answered it, blinking away the sleep as he listened to whoever was on the other line talk.

"Yes Jack, I'll be there soon. I fell asleep and lost track of fucking time." he yawned. "Yeah, yeah. Fuck you too asshole." he muttered, hanging up the phone. God, he was so vulgar. I didn't understand how he could use such words like that.. I just couldn't do it. "You alright, Kayla?"

"What?" I stared into his eyes. "You just called me Kayla?"

"I don't know why I did it. It rolled off my tongue, sorry. You alright, though?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm just shocked with how many times you can use the F word and not even care."

"You don't cuss? Whatsoever?"

"Whatsoever."

"I'm shocked!" he raised his eyebrows. "I really figured you were the type to drop them all the time."

"No." I shook my head. "I dropped something once and said the S word once. I got a bar of soap shoved down my throat by Mike."

"Hot."

"Not in any perverted ways, silly!" I shook my head and hit his arm.

He laughed and started his car. "I'm late for band practice. Jack called and said Matt is flipping out."

"Matt?"

"Flyzik. He's sorta our manager. He takes his job a little too seriously sometimes."

"Wow, you guys must be really serious about this band thing then, huh?"

"We are. We've been talking to a record company lately. They may want us on their label." a smile lit up on his face.

"What's your job in the band?" I asked, bucking my seat belt.

"I do lead vocals and lead guitar."

"Nice. Sing to me, now." I giggled.

"I don't know what to sing!" he stuck his tongue out at me. "You can hear it when we get there."

"How far?"

"Not far. Rian's casa is just like down road."

"Rian Dawson?" I looked at him. "The kid with the floppy hair?"

"Yup!" he laughed. "That's him."

"Who else is in the band?"

"Jack Barakat and a guy named Zack Merrick. He doesn't go to Dulaney."

"I gathered that since I don't know him." I rolled my eyes. "And that made me think of the movie, Mean Girls. 'She doesn't even go here!'"

"Oh my God, that movie is the funniest shit ever. I love Damien in the least gayest way possible."

"He's the funniest, honestly." I giggled. "I wanna watch it."

"Next time we have movie night, you should join us. We'll watch it on your behalf."

"You're too nice, Alex." I shook my head.

He pulled into a driveway and parked his car. "Well this is it. Rian's mom is probably going to try to chat it up with you, so here's your warning. She's really nice though."

"Oh-kay."

"Lets go." he got out of his car.

I slowly slid out of his car and drug along behind him, taking in the neatness of their home. "Alex, are you sure about this?"

"Yes, come on. Quit being so shy."

"I don't know how."

"Makayla, you're not going to have problems here. We're not that big of assholes." he laughed. "We're all super nice here."

"But what if they don't like me?" I argued.

"They will like you. I think Kara's here. You two will hit it off immediately, I promise. She's a sweetheart." he grabbed my hand, giving it a tug. "Come on!"

"Ugh, Alex."

"Ugh, Makayla." he mocked, dragging me into Rian's residence. It was nice and clean on the inside, just like the out. Alex drug me through a hallway and into their kitchen. "Evening, Mama Kathy." he greeted Rian's mom.

"Hello Alex." she smiled at him. She set her eyes to me and gave me a warm smile. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Makayla." he gave my hand a squeeze.

"Wait, you're the girl who was.." she paused. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." I shrugged. "I'm fine. That's all that matters." I smiled.

"Yes indeed. It's very nice to meet you, Makayla. You're welcome here any time, and please. Make yourself at home."

"Told you she was nice." Alex laughed, tugging me by the hand to a door in the kitchen. He pulled it open and revealed a set of wooden stairs. I was drug down those also, and brought to a basement full of instruments. Boys held guitars and one sat behind the drums. Alex took me over to a sofa where a innocent looking brunette sat. "Kara, this is Makayla. Befriend her." he laughed.

"Hi Jade." she laughed. "Or Makayla.. Which would you rather be called?"

"I don't mind." I smiled.

"Please, take a sit. I'm not gonna bite!"

I nodded and sat down on the old sofa next to her. "Thanks. Are they any good?"

"Another reason you needed a sit. They'll blow you away." she giggled. "Alex's vocals will make your heart melt and the music along with it is just overall amazing."

"So what're we playing?" I heard Alex ask his band mates as he put a guitar strap around his shoulder.

"Let's play Hustler!" a skunk-headed Jack Barakat shrieked in a childish manor.

A boy stood behind a bass guitar and rolled his eyes. I guess he was Zack. "Hustler's fine with me."

"Ri, you down?" Alex asked his drummer.

"Yup!"

"Alright, Hustler it is then." he smiled, looking down at his guitar. "If I can remember how to play it.."

"Don't mess up when you're trying to impress, asshole!" Jack giggled like a little girl.

"Fuck you." Alex rolled his eyes. "Anyway, lets play the song."

He looked down at his guitar and began picking strings and Rian gently hit some symbols on his drums.

"Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets. Coloring my senses cherry red at least for this week. Kisses under starry night skies, talked about in song. We play along, so bittersweet by our design. I'm sick and tired of writing songs about you. This is it, this is the end." Alex sang, nearly blowing me away with his voice. He flashed me a grin before he continued. "Take off your makeup and put down the camera, choke on the drama that makes me want to tear up the pictures and pages you've saved, creating a life of trends and make-believe. I've got no place in my heart for a criminal like you to dwell in this endeavor. Make this last forever. I'm just delirious, you can't be serious. You're so infamous for leaving me a mess.

She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets, get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces." he chanted with his bassist, Zack. Zack had a nice voice too. "Carry on home, I'll be waiting miles and miles away. Leaving you to be forever seventeen. Cleaning up the messes that you've made."

They brought the song to a close, and he smiled at me again. "You like?"

"You guys were amazing." I laughed. "I feel a new favorite band coming on."

"We have a new fan! Yay!" Jack jumped up and down.

I laughed and shook my head. "You do. Where can I buy a shirt?" I joked.

"Wait!" Kara said, jumping up from the sofa. She walked over to a box and pulled out a white T-shirt with the words 'All Time Low' written on it. "Here's a shirt. No charge." she laughed.

"You should've charged her five bucks, Kara!" Zack joked. "That could've went to helping us save up for spring touring after we get signed.

"If we get signed." Rian chattered from behind his drums.

"Don't be such a Debby Downer you dick." Alex laughed. "We will get signed. I swear guys, it'll happen."

"I hope you guys do. You guys are too good to go unnoticed." I told him, seeing another huge grin pop up on his face.

"Guys, I think I'm in love!" Jack shrieked, hopping towards me. He got down on a knee and grabbed my hand. "Marry me please!"

"Ignore Jack. He will fuck anything that has a pulse and boobs." Zack told me as he approached also. He kicked Jack, making him fall to the ground.

"Go to hell Zack."

"Well it's true!" he laughed. "I'm Zack, by the way. It's nice to meet you, Makayla."

"It's nice to meet you too, Zack." I replied.

"See, my friends are awesome." Alex said.

"You don't have friends, asshole." Rian laughed.

"Damn. Well, Makayla's my friend. Fuck you guys."

"Ugh, you and that word!" I laughed.

"What? Fuck? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" he recited.

"I hate you." I shook my head.

"She doesn't cuss." he stuck his tongue out at me.

"If she hangs out with us enough, she will eventually." Rian said. "Well, not me or Zack really. Mostly Alex and Jack."

"True that." Kara agreed.

"Well, I need to go." Alex said, removing his guitar strap from his shoulder. "I need to go home and get my bitching."

"Yeah, your mom's probably pissed bro." Jack said. "Why'd you ditch?"

"I felt like it." he shrugged. "Lets go Makayla. I'll see you guys later." he waved to them.

"Bye Makayla." Kara said, bringing me into her arms. She was really nice like Alex said. I already loved her to death.

"Bye Makayla!" everyone else chanted.

"Oh, and Alex." Rian rolled his eyes. "But no one cares about him."

Alex flipped him the finger and grabbed my hand, pulling me up the wooden stairs. He said his goodbyes to Rian's mother and we exited his house, going out to Alex's car.

I now fretted going home. I knew the school called my mom and told her that I ditched. She was going to be pissed off at me over that. Then she works a late night weekend shift, leaving me to be alone with Mike. I was definitely going to get it. I didn't want to tell Alex though. He'd refuse to take me home. I knew I already crossed the line. I didn't want to cross it anymore.

He drove me to my house and stopped by the curb. It was already dark outside, so his car wouldn't be seen. I bit my lip and turned to him, holding myself back from pouring out my emotions over going in there.

"Thanks for the day out, Alex." I said, looking between him and my house.

"No problem. Look, remember what I said in the school earlier. Don't do anything." he grabbed my hand, giving it a comfort squeeze. "Here, here's my number. Call me if you need anything. I will be here if anything happens, I promise." he gave me a piece of paper with his number scribbled on it.

"Thanks." I nodded. "Wish me luck." I said, opening the car door.

"Be safe, please." he said. "Bye."

"Bye Alex." I replied, shutting his car door. I slowly walked up the sidewalk to my house and heard his car zoom off, up the street behind me. I sighed, now knowing I was on my own.

I walked inside my house, being as quiet as possible. "Makayla Jade!" I heard my mother's angry voice in the kitchen. Dang it.. "Get your ass in here, right now."

I listened to her and shamefully walked into the kitchen, where she sat eating dinner. "Let me just start by saying I'm sorry.."

"Skipping class? Really Makayla? That's not going to get you into college!" she scolded.

"I know Mom, I'm sorry. I was having a bad day in school today. I had a panic attack and I needed out." I sighed.

"And you skipped with a boy? Who the fuck was that?"

"Alex." I quietly answered. "Alex. The boy who saved me after I got hit."

"Since when have you and this Alex kid been so tight?" she rolled her eyes.

"After this week." I shrugged. "I'm just making new friends. I'm also late home because I went to his band's practice to watch them play."

"Makayla Jade, don't get involved with boys." she sighed. "Remember that your father and I want you to go to college."

"Friends are friends, Mom!"

"They'll ruin it for you though! If you knew what was best, you wouldn't."

"I really don't care what's best anymore." I angrily said.

"I have news for you, Makayla Jade, you better start caring. Bad decisions won't get you anywhere! Now go to your room. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night."

"Mom, this isn't fair of you to judge Alex and say he's bad when you don't know him." I shook my head, turning on my heel.

"I want to meet him then." she bitchily replied, shaking her head. "Now go to your room."

I sighed and nodded, taking off to my room. Mike wasn't home. Maybe that was a good thing. Or not. I think he was at a bar. Dammit..