In the Shadow of Your Heart

“We didn’t mean for this to happen,” I softly said as I watched Harper getting ready for her date with John.

“Avery, I don’t want to hear your fucking voice because everything you say is complete and utter bullshit. You knew I loved John yet that didn’t stop you from shoving your tongue down his throat,” Harper seethed.

“If I could go back and redo everything I’d never talk to John.”

“Yeah well you can’t go back and fix it,” Harper snapped before stomping out of the venue to meet John.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole situation. In all honestly I didn’t feel anything because I felt numb. There were so many emotions running through me that I didn’t feel any of them. I needed to talk to somebody to try and get my feelings sorted out. I looked out the window and happened to see Garrett walking towards the venue. I had become pretty close with Garrett before the whole John mess took place and Garrett was the one who came up with the idea of having dates so John could choose who he wanted to be with so I figured he’d be the best person to talk to.

“Hey Gare? Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked as Garrett into the venue.

“Sure,” Garrett said as he sat down.

“I fucked up,” I muttered because I didn’t know how else to start the conversation.

“Why John?”

“What do you mean?”

Garrett shook his head. “Out of all the people to fall for why did you have to fall for John?”

I paused to think about Garrett’s question. “I guess because he noticed me. All my life I’ve been quiet and shy so people hardly notice me, especially when Harper is around. I’ve always been known as “Harper’s friend” but I felt as if John noticed me and liked me for me.”

“That’s bullshit. Actually this whole situation is bullshit,” Garrett exclaimed. “Other people notice you Avery, you just don’t realize it. I liked you from the day you stepped out of Harper’s house and into our van but you never noticed. I also think it’s bullshit that John has to go on a date with both of you to decide who he wants to be with.”

“But you’re the one who suggested it.”

“That doesn’t mean I agree with it! If he really wanted to be with you then he’d say it and he’d tell Harper that he likes you instead of stringing the both of you along.”

I just stared at Garrett as his words sunk in. He rolled his eyes at me and walked out of the venue angrily. He was right – I hadn’t realized that he liked me and if John really wanted to be with me then he should be man enough to admit it.

I sat there alone with my thoughts for the rest of the night. Harper eventually walked back in and I wanted to ask her how the date went but I figured she wouldn’t appreciate that question. I tried going to sleep but ended up tossing and turning all night.

The next day I got ready for my date with John but Garrett’s words still hung heavy in my head. I knew I had to fix this situation somehow but I wasn’t sure how.

I finally met up with John and I knew he could immediately tell that something was wrong.

“John, we can’t be together,” I said after a few moments of silence.

“I know,” John sighed.

“I mean there is a part of me that likes you and I think a part of you likes me but we don’t belong together. Maybe if we had met earlier in our lives but not at this time. I’m taking myself out of this competition or whatever the hell it is. You belong with Harper.”

“So should I tell her that you dropped out?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Tell her that you chose her. She needs to know that she won because you truly love her, not because I dropped out.”

John nodded in agreement. I stood up and gave him one last hug before leaving the restaurant. I wasn’t sure what I was doing or if Harper would ever forgive me but I knew there was one chance I had to take.

I ran to the van and all the guys looked at me in surprise when I pulled the door open.

“Where’s Garrett?” I asked a bit out of breath after running.

“He’s in the venue writing a song or something. What’s going on? Who did John choose?” Jared asked.

“I’ll explain later!” I yelled over my shoulder as I took off running towards the venue.

I burst through the doors and scanned the room until I found Garrett. I began walking towards him and he looked up at me but looked back down as soon as he saw that it was me.

“So are you here to share the good news?” Garrett sarcastically asked.

“No, he chose Harper,” I said.

“Well I’m sorry,” Garrett said but I could tell he didn’t mean it.

“It’s fine,” I shrugged. “I told him to choose her. I talked to this really smart guy yesterday who made me realize I liked the idea of John instead of actually liking him.”

A smile ghosted over Garrett’s face but quickly disappeared and he didn’t say anything so I forged ahead. “Garrett, I’ve made so many mistakes these past two months and I come with a lot of baggage but I really thing we could be something great. I don’t have a rose but if this were The Bachelorette I’d give it to you.”

“That was really fucking awkward,” Garrett chuckled.

“What can I say? I’m an awkward person.”

“It’s alright, I am too.”

“So, should we combine our awkwardness and see what happens?” I questioned.

Garrett smiled. “Yeah, I think we should.”

I smiled back as I hugged Garrett. I wasn’t sure if Harper and I would ever be friends again or if John and I would ever talk again. Hell, I didn’t even know what would happen between Garrett and I. What I did know though was that, looking back, I wouldn’t change what had happened. In the end it all works out.