Just For Now

A small smile etched its way onto Claude’s face as Addison slowly spun around, but that instantly turned into frown when he saw her less than happy expression.

“So now you remember my name?” she hastily spit out. “I’m surprised you’re actually gracing me with your presence.”

Yeah, she’s pissed, Claude inwardly groaned. This was not how he pictured her reaction when he was planning what he was going to say to her. It was going to be more difficult than he had originally thought.

Claude scratched the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh. “That’s no way to greet an old friend.”

What he thought would lighten the mood a little only seemed to make Addison angrier. If looks could kill. Addison contemplated what she was going to say for a few moments, trying to perfectly phrase her response. This conversation was long overdue and Addison was surprised at the amount of confidence she had suddenly gained to confront him.

“Friends? We are not friends anymore Claude.” His name rolled off of her tongue with such disdain and Claude was completely caught off guard. Out of all of the possibilities he had gone over in his head of how this conversation would turn out, this was not something he had thought about.

“Don’t talk like that ma chérie,” Claude muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

Addison scoffed, shrugged, and rolled her eyes at his transition from English to their native tongue. “You know it’s the truth.”

Claude shook his head in return and his gaze fell to the floor. There was no way he would win this fight and he knew it. Part of him felt like he should defend himself, but the other half knew that he deserved to be treated this way.

“I was friends with the guy who cared more about everyone else than he did himself. The one who treated people kindly and did whatever it took to put a smile on my face. I thought the world of that boy, not the guy standing in front of me. I barely know you.”

Claude looked up. “I’m still the same guy,” he tried to argue, but Addison was quick to shut him up.

“No Claude, you treated me like I never existed,” she retorted in a softer voice. A distant memory now lingered in her mind and she felt the hurt she had repressed years ago. She was more hurt than she led on to be, but Claude saw right through her. One look in his eyes and Addison knew he did. He always did.

There was far more to their “departure” after high school than Addison ever led on to any one else. Sure she had told not only her friends and family that she and Claude had simply lost touch, but she tried to convince herself that that was the only reason they drifted a part. The truth, something she forced herself to forget, was far more heart wrenching than the sob story she had fooled everyone else into believing.

What was Claude supposed to say to that? Admit that what he did was wrong? Instead, he went with a reply that he regretted and wished he could take back as soon as the words slipped out. “We’re both responsible for our friendship falling a part.”

To say Addison was stunned would be an understatement. After the things he had done he had no right to try and put the blame on her. This was something that was entirely his doing. She was beyond outraged at this point and would have slapped him across the face had she been anywhere other than the arena.

“Vas te faire encule Claude,” she spat out lowly so only he would hear. “I tried okay? You didn’t even give me the time of day.”

Addison had tried to stay in touch with Claude, but it quickly became evident that it was very much a one sided attempt to salvage their friendship. He was the one who stopped answering her phone calls, let his phone go to voicemail, and ignored her text messages altogether. But there was one particular incident that caused Addison to simply give up and stop trying. It was nearly six months after graduation when she and Claude were finally in the same vicinity of one another.

They were both at a mutual friend’s birthday gathering and Addison had every intention of giving Claude a piece of her mind for ignoring her. Maybe he’ll have an explanation, she thought. When Claude went about his merry little way, talking to half-dressed girls without so much as acknowledging her presence, however, she thought otherwise and felt downright foolish. From then on Addison just tried to forget. It took awhile, but eventually she did. She had trained herself to only remember the good times she and Claude had shared; it was the only way she could move on. Even then, it only took a few months to push him out of her mind entirely.

“Addy, pardonnez-moi.”

“Forgive you!” she carelessly shouted towards him and pointed her finger accusingly at him. For a split second she lost all composure and forgot where she was. But this, Claude feeling like he had a right to say her old nickname like they were still the best of friends, pushed her to her breaking point. It wasn’t until she glanced over Claude’s shoulder that she noticed heads were turned their way and people were giving her odd looks. Addison dropped her finger and used her hands to straighten out her skirt. She lowered her voice and continued, “Forgive you? Not everything can be handed to you on a silver platter just because you ask for it. I’m not here to make nice with you, I have a job to do.”

Addison immediately turned around and started to walk away. Claude reacted quickly, however, and reached out and latched onto her wrist. He was desperate at this point to just keep her in front of him. This was all going so terribly wrong for him and he knew it. He was blowing whatever chance he had with her and he wished he knew the right words to say to make it all better. Addison yanked her hand away from Claude as she turned to face him once more. He has some nerve, she angrily thought.

He ran a hand through his hair and audibly groaned. “I never meant to ignore you Ad.”

One look from Addison and it was obvious her patience was nearly non-existent, so he continued, “It hurt more to see you for a few hours and know that I wouldn’t be able to for months. I just thought it would be easier on the both of us.”

Again, he knew that that was a terrible answer.

“So you thought ignoring me was the best solution? You thought that is was okay to treat your best friend like shit? I’m not following your logic here.”

“I missed you Addy,” Claude finally admitted. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

Addy. She cringed at the name. “Addison. My name is Addison. Never call me that again.”

“Look, I’m sorry Addison. Please, just let me make it up to you. What do you want? I’ll do anything.”

Addison stared at him with a blank expression. “If you really have to ask me that, don’t even bother.”

Addison turned swiftly on her heels and walked away. If she had stayed for another five minutes she knew that she would have crumbled right at his feet and forgiven him. She blamed it on the fact that it was the pattern of their friendship: argue, fight, yell, not speak to each other, and then immediately forgive and move on. This time, however, she was far too stubborn to let that cycle continue. If Claude really wanted her to be a part of his life again, he’d find a way to put her there. She wasn’t going to fight for a spot like she had before.