Come A Little Closer

"Are you sure you should be doing this?" Tom asked as he sat with Oli in the tattoo parlour.

"What does it matter?" Oli asked, laying on his stomach with his shirt off.

"Won't Emmie be really mad at you for doing this? Does she even know?" Tom asked, twisting his phone between his hands. "She is your wife."

"She doesn't know and I don't care if she gets mad," Oli replied.

Bring Me The Horizon was on a small U.K tour for a few weeks, not too long. Emmie wasn't on the tour. She wanted to stay at home in Sheffield and be alone. Oli didn't want her to be alone, but if that was what she wanted he let it happen.

The tattoo artist started up the gun and began the tattoo. Usually Oli could feel the vibration of the gun against his skin, and it hurt. This time he felt nothing. It was like a tiny pinch, he barely felt it at all. He didn't feel much these days.

It had been about a month since Emmie had lost the baby and things weren't much better in the Sykes household. Things were still tense and there were a lot of fights. Emmie was beginning to blame Oli for what happened. He knew that she would eventually.

The tattoo was finished quickly. It was just small anyways. Oli got up off the bed and looked at the new piece of art on his body. He looked at the way it all looped together and felt a little better. There on his left shoulder was her name.

Ellody.

Oli had made the decision to go through with getting the tattoo of Ellody's name. Even though the baby would never be here, she had been a part of their lives and Oli wanted to always remember her. So he went through with his original plan and got a tattoo for the baby.

"You love her," Tom stated.

"No shit I love her," Oli scoffed. "This is just something I wanted to do for myself."

"Have you even tried to talk to her?" Tom asked.

"Of fucking course I've tried to talk to her," Oli replied harshly. "She won't talk to me. It's because of me that my baby isn't going to be born. Ever. That's not something you can forgive."

"I'm sure she can forgive you eventually," Tom muttered.

"You don't know Honey," Oli laughed bitterly. "She may never forgive me for this."

"Then you learn to live it with and move passed it," Tom stated firmly. "You two are married now! You can't just give up on each other. Yes, what happened is awful, but you need to work together."

"When?" Oli yelled. "When are we supposed to do that? Between her drinking and shutting herself up away from me when I'm at home and me being on tour? When are we supposed to work this out and figure out what the hell we're doing?"

"You always give up," Tom mumbled, shaking his head.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Oli asked, standing closer to his younger brother.

"You give up, Oli. You give up on people all the time," Tom stated. "You think that once you fuck up that they won't want anything to do with you so you cut yourself off. You're married to this girl. This isn't some girlfriend you can just toss to the side because it's easier that way."

"It's going to be really hard and you two are going to have to work at getting better every single day," Tom stated. "You're both going to have some shitty days and some good days, but you have to be willing to accept that. If you love her how you say you do then you will go through with this."

Oli looked at his younger brother and nodded.

"You're right," Oli nodded. Oli knew all along what it was that he had to do, but he had been dreading it. Having to work through something like this, he was certain it would kill him.

"I do love her and I need to talk to her," Oli sighed. "I can't go through the rest of our lives together not being together."

Oli ran his rough, dry hands over his tired face. It had been a long month and he was tired of feeling like Emmie was slipping through his fingers. He knew he had messed up, but he was done with running away. He knew that it was time to step up, be a man and fix their life.