Picture Perfect, More Or Less.

Numa, annoyingly: So? Who gives a shit, Carter hasn't heard it! Bros tell bros everything, right? Don't be a pussy. (Ross starts to get annoyed, but realizes it will just show Carter it bothers him as bad as it actually does. Trying to be nonchalant about the ordeal, he spells it all out for Carter.)

[We're taken to about a year and a half before the events that are happening tonight, a few months before Ross and Numa become acquainted with Carter. And it's getting closer and closer to Homecoming. Ross has his eyes set on a certain girl, and he has for quite some time. Most everyone has got a date, just about ready to decide on attire and where to eat out. And so our little flashback begins.]

Numa: Come on Ross, stop being a vagina. Just ask her out! She rides your god damn bus, save a seat for her. Call her, send her a text! (Ross keeps walking through the crowd of people on his way to lunch with Numa, half listening to what he's saying, half listening to his stomach growl.)
Ross, annoyed: Shut up, Numa. You don't know my pain, bro! You have Nat, a beautiful girlfriend. You luck out. (Numa recoils at Ross' flustered, jumbled words.)
Numa, surprised but offended: What the fuck are you talking about? I may not have the hassle of getting a date, but I already went through all the bullshit of having to get her in the first place. And you can just sit there and act... Like.... (Numa looks around, realizes that Ross isn't near him anymore.) Ugh, what the fuck... (He does a little searching and sees Ross talking to the girl, Kayla. She is just stopping a conversation with two of her girlfriends when she flagged Ross over, doing a girlish squeal and giving him a light hug.)
Kayla: Oh my god, Ross! I didn't think I'd be able to catch you before you went to lunch! You're impossible to find!
Ross, nervously: Well, I can't be too hard. I'm six feet tall, and...
Kayla, interrupting him: I know, right? But you blend right in! (Ross seems slightly hurt Numa notices, but hides it. Which wasn't too hard, it being Kayla.)
Kayla, excited: Hey, you should save me a spot on the bus Ross! I wanna sit by you. We totally don't talk enough! (Ross almost cracks a big smile, but hides it trying to act calm.)
Ross, sounding cool: Oh yeah, I'll see if I can stop the hordes of girls trying to get that seat. (Kayla walks away as Ross was letting the joke slide. When he sees she isn't listening, his words drift off. He goes back to walking to lunch, meeting up with Numa halfway there.)
Numa, sportingly: There's our stud muffin! Bitches be eatin' out of the palm of your hand, huh? (They share a delighted fist bump.) Better save that bitch a seat. Bitches love it when they have places to sit. (They laugh at Numa's over-emphasis on the "B" word and joke all the rest of the way to lunch, where they sit in the very corner away from all the other people, just Numa and Ross.)

[Later that day, on the bus...]

Ross, exhausted: Fina-fucking-ly. (The bus driver hears his remark, scolds him lightly. He apologizes, sits down, and begins to play his Gameboy that he brought with him. He does so until another guy gets on the bus. He sits down behind Ross and starts to make conversation, which surprises Ross. This was a relatively popular kid. Of course Ross knew him slightly, but he always thought that Ben considered Ross out of his field on interest.)
Ben, cool and smooth: Hey man, what're you playing?
Ross, unsure how to answer: Uh... Poke'mon. (Ben is shuffling through his sports sack.)
Ben, uninterested: Cool. Ever play Madden?
Ross, annoyed with the question: Yeah, I'm not a big fan though. (Ross looks out the window and sees Kayla excitedly hurrying to the bus. Ross quickly turns off his Gameboy without saving, fixes his hair slightly, and then his hoodie. Ben chuckles, seeing what Ross is doing. Kayla gets on the bus quickly and excitedly, and sits next to him. Ross is looking out the window, pretending not to notice Kayla got on.)
Kayla: Hi Ross!
Ross: Oh, hey Kay- (He's interrupted as Kayla swiftly turns around and her hair gets Ross right in the face. He squints and opens his eyes back up to see Kayla and Ben looking at each other. Kayla is moving slightly and giggles, and Ben looks at her, up and down, inspecting. All the while Ross is looking from Ben to Kayla, unable to look any dumber. He realizes what's going on, and puts his hood on. He slumps to the window, and Kayla notices.)
Kayla: Wow, it's not even that cold! You okay?
Ben, laughing slightly: Leave Ron alone, he's skin and bones. Some guys just can't take the weather. (Kayla laughs and so does Ben. Of course Ross wasn't cold at all, but he was trying to hide the red, watery look that was slowly forming in his eyes.)

[As the bus ride went on, Ross felt it was the longest twenty minutes of his entire life. And once Kayla realized Ben had an open spot, she moved from Ross' seat to Ben's, flirting and acting all charming. Ross could hear the entire thing, and as if it didn't hurt enough, he had to listen as Pretty Boy Ben asked Kayla to Homecoming. Of course she nearly shrieked, excited as a girl could be before saying yes. And Ross came home, hood over his head. The name Ron kept floating in and out of his mind, taunting him, punching his self-esteem as hard as a word possibly could. He walked right passed his mother, busy with work, and his father, reading the paper. Neither of them asked him how he was or noticed his presence other then a quick "How was your day?" No. He went into his room and cried before calling Numa. He could barely understand Ross, but felt he knew what happened. And he comforted him the best a true friend could.]

Carter, confused and sympathetic: Um... What part of that was supposed to be funny? (Numa had already started laughing hysterically some time ago in the story.)
Numa: Because she was a total whore, dude! And Ross thought he needed that bitch, calling me up and blubbering. You should have heard him. "Ben is such an ass hole!" (He continues to laugh.)
Ross, playfully sarcastic: Oh Numa, you're such a comforting charmer. Nat was so lucky to have you! (Ross struck a chord in Numa's brain, as he went from laughing hysterically to growing a serious, stern look.)
Numa, offended: Wow, Ross. That's not even funny. (He avoids eye contact, flips the television's channel and takes a swig of soda. There is an awkward, tense silence.)
Ross, finally annoyed enough: Really Numa? You're a bitch. (Numa instantly thrusts himself up, slamming his fists on the arms of his chair.)
Numa, practically screaming: Ross, my little tragedy isn't FUCKING funny because she actually mattered to me! Kayla was some skank you had a crush on, don't you talk about Nat like you know what happened! (Ross gets off the couch and stands, towering over Numa.)
Ross, screaming: I know what the fuck happened because I was there! And I had to save your ass too, you little shit! None of that would have happened if you hadn't-
Carter, interrupting: Will you two shut the fuck up SO I CAN WATCH SCOOBY DOO?!
(There is a long silence. Ross and Numa are still looking at each other, unsure what to do with where the fight is going.)
Television, Velma exclaiming: It was Old Man Whithers!

[The three burst out laughing at the same time at the perfectly placed, timeless line from this absurd program. The tension lifts, and they all dig into the bowl of Doritos that had been mostly untouched that night without saying a word to each other, just laughing as hard as they could, practically spitting out the products in their mouths. The snowstorm outside, which moments ago was strong and angry, had calmed down a bit and fell back into a gentle drift. The clock struck 11.]