Unfaithful

-Summer, 2010-

It was always a little nerve racking when new families moved into the neighborhood. I lived in a quite suburb in Raleigh and most of my neighbors were retirees. My next door neighbors of three years, since I’d moved in, were the Seong’s - a couple from Seoul that moved to Raleigh for business reasons nearly 20 years ago. I adored them. They had me over for dinner all the time and sent me home with more leftovers than I could eat in a week. It broke my heart when they broke the news that they were moving back to South Korea. I even cried when we said our final goodbyes.

Their house had been vacant for barely a week when the realtor came to remove the ‘For Sale’ sign. Another month went by and there were moving trucks outside the house. I spied out my window, probably looking incredible creepy, trying to get a glimpse of my new neighbors. The only person who didn’t look like he was a part of the moving crew was this extremely tall man with red-ish hair and very strong looking arms. My ovaries jumped for joy. My new neighbor was drop dead gorgeous; looked about my age too.

A week later I came home from work and there was a car in the driveway of mystery boy’s house. My heart started to beat a little faster. I went inside to collect my thoughts. Would it be too bold to go over and introduce myself? That wasn’t bold it was just being a good neighbor right? I took a quick look in the mirror; my make up was still good from work, there were just a few loose stands of hair that needed to be tucked behind my ears, and my black dress pants needed to be swapped for casual white shorts.

I trotted over to the house and rang the door bell. I tried to mentally prepare myself but my heart still did a little stutter step when my new neighbor answered the door. He wore shorts and a t-shirt that was tight around his biceps and clinging to his abs. I was pretty sure I had had a dream like this once.

“Hi I’m Kay,” I stuck out my hand and smiled brightly, trying to look cute, “I’m your neighbor,” I nodded towards my house.

He took my hand in a firm grip – the type of grip my dad always says ‘you can tell a lot about a man by’ - and gave it a little shake, “Eric.”

His face was angular, almost modelesque, and his light brown eyes were warm and inviting. It took me a minute before I could recover and figure out what to say next, “What brings you to the neighborhood?”

“Just out grew the old place,” Eric explained, “How long have you been here?”

“3 years. It’s a great neighborhood,” I added because apparently I’d become a salesperson.

He smirked and I melted, “Good neighbors?”

I sucked in a breath. Was he flirting? That sounded like flirting, “Pretty good,” I gave him a little naughty smile. I’d be good for him.

“Would you like to come in and have a drink?”

“Absolutely,” my smile grew even brighter.

Eric held the door open for me and I walked into the familiar space. I already knew the way to the kitchen from being her so many times but I let Eric lead the way so I didn’t seem stalker-ish. 10 minutes later we were sitting on the deck drinking lemonade, a staple drink on a hot summers day in Raleigh.

“So what do you do for a living?” Eric asked.

“I’m a paralegal at a firm downtown. You?”

He smiled a little sheepishly, “I play for the Hurricanes.”

I did a mental face-palm, “Oh gosh I thought you looked familiar.”

That delicious smirk was back, “Are you a fan?”

“I watch from time to time. I might have to watch even more this year because of that adorable draft pick of yours.”

“Skinner is pretty cute,” Eric joked.

“He’s a little young for me but I’d totally settle for pinching his cheeks and baking him cookies.”

Eric grinned and was about to respond but our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming and a little voice screaming, “Daddy!”

I felt like an idiot. All of Eric’s pictures were still in boxes so I had no tip off that he had a family but of course a guy this good looking couldn’t very well be single.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed that I’d never get the chance to use Eric as a sexual jungle gym but I grew to love his family. Tanya was very sweet and Parker was happy and hopelessly shy. I even babysat for them from time to time.

Despite this I could never get over my crush on Eric. I so desperately wanted to be with him. I felt tremendously guilty about this, of course, because he had a family but I figured a crush was harmless as long as it remained unrequited. Sometimes I caught myself flirting with him and had to shamefully remind myself that he was off limits. Other times I’d swear he was flirting back.

One night it was pouring rain and storming. I was kicking myself because I was sure my house would lose power but I didn’t have any batteries and the ones in my flashlight were dead. I figured I could just brave it out but then the lights flickered a couple times before the house was engulfed in darkness. That made me lose my nerve.

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath.

I pulled out my cell phone and used the light as a guide. I hated the dark. I stood in my door way looking out into the near pitch black night. The rain was coming down hard and although the thunder and lightning remained distant I didn’t want to be alone when it got here.

My eyes landed on Eric’s house. I’m not sure what exactly possessed me to go over but I pulled on my rain jacket and boots and ran out into the rain.

By the time I reached Eric’s porch I was drenched. I rapped loudly on the door. For a while there was no answer. Just as I was beginning to panic the door opened and Eric’s tall frame was filling up the empty space it left behind.

“Kay?” Eric’s voice was nearly lost over the wind.

“I lost power and I don’t have a flash light can I come in?”

Eric wrapped an arm around my shoulders and ushered me inside. The door slammed behind me and shut out the rain and howling wind. I pulled my hood off my head, I was panting a little from my run.

“You’re soaked,” Eric brushed away a wet piece of hair that was clinging to the side of my face.

“Thanks for taking me in,” my lips felt sticky from the rain as I spoke, “It’s just so dark.”

Eric grabbed a flashlight off a small table in the hallway, “The power goes off all the time where I’m from so I’ve learned to be prepared.”

I nodded, “Where are Parker and Tanya?”

“Parker and Tanya are having a sleepover at one of Tanya’s girlfriend’s houses.”

I nod though that sounded a little weird to me; sort of like a convenient excuse an author would use to move along the plot of a story.

“Do you need a towel?”

I notice my teeth are beginning to chatter, “That’d be great.”

Eric digs out a second flashlight for me from a drawer and hands it to me. He then leads me to the washroom. When I’m done towelling myself off he’s outside waiting for me, holding a sweater, “Thought you could use this,” he says.

I smile gratefully and retreat back into the bathroom. I take off my wet top and boldly decide to remove my damp bra as well. I pull on the sweater which clearly belongs to Eric because it’s huge and smells like he does. I zip it up as far as it will go to avoid exposing my breasts to Eric. Feeling just the fabric of Eric’s sweater touching my otherwise naked body makes me feel a little mischievous. I have to remind myself, as always, that the man is married.

I leave my top and my bra to dry in the tub and follow Eric into the living room. We both sit on the sofa, maybe a little closer than necessary.

I tuck my feet under the blanket and look at Eric. He`s looking back and is wearing that delicious smirk on his face, “It’s not often a beautiful girl shows up on my door step dripping wet and begging me to let her inside.”

I can’t help the desire I feel right now, it’s making me tingle and awakens parts of my body that should be under control. What he just said was beyond flirting; it was practically dirty talk, “I would think that happens to you all the time,” I can’t help but bat my eyelashes and give him a sexy little smile.

He smirks back again. The dim light from the flashlights plays off his features making them look even harder and more angular. I want to crawl into his lap and run my hands through his hair and down his chest...

“What are you thinking about right now?” Eric asks but his coy gaze tells me he already knows.

I’m instantly wet, thinking I’ve been caught doing something forbidden. I bite my lip and contemplate answering his question. Eric’s eyes are dark with lust. Lust that if I were thinking clearly would know shouldn’t be there, “You,” I boldly whisper.

Eric grabs the side of my face and roughly pulls me into a kiss. It’s hot and needy and makes me grab his biceps and hold on for dear life. He pushes me backwards and crawls on top of me. I feel his erection against my inner thigh and his calloused hands on my bare waist.

There’s a cushion behind be that’s blocking me from being able to fully stretch out. I reach back and toss it to the side. That’s when I hear the sound of glass shattering against the floor.

Eric and I jump away from each other, panting and startled. I look down to see what I knocked over with the pillow. It’s a picture frame. All the glass is now in shards. All that’s intact is the brass frame and the photo of Tanya, Eric, and Parker...

I bolt. I leap of the couch and run towards the door. I think I hear Eric call after me but I don’t give a shit. I make a wild dash towards my front door, no longer caring about the weather.

My hand is shaking uncontrollably but I manage to unlock my front door. Once I’m inside my porch I sink to a heap to the floor. I’m drench again and my foot is bleeding, cut on some of the shattered glass on Eric’s living room floor. I reach down and pick a shard out of my foot. It stings but the sensation is a welcome change to the utter helplessness and despair I’m feeling right now.

What the fuck was I thinking? And what was Eric thinking? And what happens tomorrow?

I drop my face into my hands and allow the pain I am feeling to come out in sobs which rack through my whole body.

I woke the next morning slumped against the door. I force myself to get up and get moving. I feel like a zombie. I can barely even feel the hot water running across my back when I shower.

Once I was toweled off and had put some clean clothes on I hear a knock at the door. I, of course, know who it is before I even answer the door.

Eric holds out my shirt which has my bra tucked away inside of it, hidden from view, and I snatch them from him, making no effort to hide the animosity I feel towards him. I pull him inside so we could talk in private.

“Tanya found them,” he admits, “I told her what happened and she doesn’t suspect anything”

Well she shouldn’t suspect anything, I thought, if all that went on was just Eric helping out a neighbor then there was nothing wrong with what we had done, “She’s okay with it because she doesn’t know the whole story,” I spit. I’m furious with Eric. I know I’m as much a culprit in this as he is but I wish he would have stopped it, I wished it would have never happened. He was the one who was married for fucks sakes. He should have been able to stop it.

“Kay,” Eric says and his voice is full of emotion, mostly regret. He cups my face in his huge over sized paws and forces me to look at him. He towers over me and his body is curved down towards me. All the anger evaporates out of my body. I can’t stay mad at him when he’s looking so sincere, “I never meant to hurt you. I just got caught up in the moment. I mean god these last few months have been torture seeing you every day but not being able to see you how I want to be seeing you... Then yesterday you show up on my door step dripping wet and looking fucking incredible...” Eric’s voice trails off when he catches me staring at his lips.

I’m not sure if it’s me or him that bridges the gap between our mouths but in a second we’re kissing and I’ve completely forgot about Tanya and Parker or anything remotely close to reality.

Eric picks me up and I wrap my legs around his wide body. He carries me to the dresser in the hallway and drops me on it. Eric’s biting my neck and fondling my breasts and I’m trying to push my pants off my hips. Eric eventually gets the message and pulls my jeans down and off my legs. My pants are the only piece of clothing that gets removed. I push Eric’s jeans down just enough to free his hard cock and in one swift motion he pushes my panties to the side and is balls deep inside of me.

The sex is hard and fast. Eric holds onto my thighs and thrust in and out of me with enormous force. I repeatedly hit the wall behind me.

I come hard and bring Eric with me. He grunts out my name and milks himself dry inside me. We’re both sweaty and for a minute we just stare at each other, dazed and out of breath. Then reality hits like a brick wall.

I shove Eric away with all my night. It’s not enough to even budge his huge body but he takes a step back out of courtesy to me. Eric does up his pants and looks up at me. His eyes are heavy and sad, “Kay...” he starts.

“Get out!” I scream. Tears are readily falling from my eyes now.

“Kay I can’t leave you like this,” Eric pleads with me.

“Go home to your wife Eric,” I snarl, “She’s probably getting suspicious.”

Eric looks like he’s going to argue but instead just sighs and starts towards the door. He opens it but before leaving he turns to me and with all the sincerity in the world says, “I’m so sorry.”

Once the door closes I slam my first down on the wardrobe, “Fuck,” I curse.

-One Month Later-

I’m walking down the street towards my new favourite coffee shop. It’s about a block away from the condo I relocated to after all that shit with Eric went down. I missed my house, I missed my neighborhood, I missed my neighbors-or at least most of them- but I just didn’t feel right staying there. Every time Tanya gave a polite smile or a small wave I wanted to vomit and seeing Parker was even worse. I’d see how happy he was playing with his mommy and daddy and I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. I almost destroyed their happiness and because of me their happiness if now founded on lies and deception.

I pushed open the heavy wood door of the quaint little shop and heard the bell chime in time. I wasn’t really paying attention and almost walked into someone trying to exit the shop.

“Sorry,” I mumbled in a very distracted way.

“Kay?”

I looked up stunned someone actually recognised me when I was still so new to this area of town. When I saw the owner of the voice my heart sank, “Tanya...” my voice cracked a little.

She started to blab on, asking me how I was and how I liked my new place, but I was barely listening. I was transfixed on her husband, who was standing behind her. Eric’s face was stony, betraying no emotion. His eyes were dark and were fixated on me. I felt small under his gaze. Tears started to well up in my eyes but I held them back for Tanya’s sake.

“Kay you should definitely come visit,” Tanya’s voice brings me back to the conversation, “Parker misses you.”

I bite my lip to keep it from quivering, “So everything’s still fine at home?” I ask.

Tanya blabs on about how big Parker is getting and how she can barely keep up with him. My eyes flicker up to Eric to see if he understood the hidden message in my words. He just nods solemnly and I understand: he never told Tanya what happened.

It’s another 10 minutes before Tanya finally decide it’s time for her and Eric to get going. It’s probably the most painful 10 minutes of my life. I have to feign a smile and not act like I feel; which is disgusting.

I say goodbye to Tanya and she prances out of the coffee shop. I make no move to speak to Eric but freeze when his big hand grasps my shoulder. He leans down and I feel his breath against my ear. My heart is pounding and I want to cry.

“It’s better that she doesn’t know,” Eric breaths in a husky whisper before releasing me and following his wife out the door.

I’m so shaken up I leave the shop without ordering anything. Eric’s words ring in my head the entire walk home. Is it better that Tanya doesn’t know? Knowing will only cause her family pain and furthermore am I really worth breaking up a marriage over? Eric would have to live his whole life with the secret but Parker would grow up with both his parents living seemingly happily under the same roof.

The only person who lost in the model was Eric and it was his mistake that he made. In that way it made sense to keep the secret: the only person to suffer would be the one that deserves it. But the thought of Tanya’s joyous smile, blissfully unaware of her husband’s infidelity... That thought made bile rise into my throat.