I Don't Love You, Like I Did Yesterday

Lex's P.O.V.

When the door clicked shut, I leaned my back against and let out a breath I wasn't even aware I'd been holding.

I love you Ronnie.

I shook my head as the thought came across my mind. Of course it was true. I could never stop loving Ronnie. But now wasn't the time for day dreaming. It was the time to figure out an answer that's we'd both be happy with.

I sighed and leaned up off the door, heading to the kitchen to clean up. I wiped off the counter and put the dishes in the sink before jogging to the back of the bus to my room to grab a fresh change of clothes and headed into the the small bathroom. I didn't waste any time before stripping down and turning the hot water on, hoping it wouldn't be freezing. Since we were on the east coast and it was night time, it wasn't close to °100 evernight. It was usually °80. I smiled at the thought. That just meant I was closer to home. I leaned over the sink to look at the calendar. We were in Buffalo New York. I snorted before stepping into the shower.

Stupid New York. Why can't you be Philadelphia?

I heard the bus door open and male voices pour into the bus. I didn't even bother to lock the door, and went back to lathering up my hair with shampoo instead. The shower curtain was black, and I really didn't think any of the guys would really risk their life to see me naked.

Stupider men have tried, and failed.

And besides, if they had to go that bad, I really didn't have any protests considering the last time I locked the door Dylan thought it would be funny to piss out of the window of the highway. Oh, and how funny it was when we got pulled over by a state trooper.

Before long, there was a few taps on the door.

"Yeah?" I called out, drawing the curtain completely closed on both sides.

"It's me." I heard Mattie say before the door locked. "They're all drunk, we don't need them busting in here and you freaking out."

"Thanks. If I knew I woulda locked it before." I laughed and dipped my hair under to wash the shampoo out before reaching for my conditioner.

"So, what's up?" I asked him. I heard the toilet seat drop and I guess he sat on it.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." I mentally groaned at his words. There's no way in hell this could be good. Even though we made up in the hospital, I still really hadn't been talking to Mattie much.

"What's that?" I asked rinsing my hair out a second time.

"Everyone's been talking." I sighed and nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"And? Let 'em talk." I wasn't gonna play dumb. I knw exactly what was going on, and knew exactly it was Mattie that was coming to me about it.

"Everyone's worried about you." You mean you're worried about me wanting Ronnie. I battered him mentally. He sighed and continued, knowing that wasn't enough for me to answer him. "The band, your brother, his band, and me. Probably Ronnie's band too."

My eyes widened incredulously and I stuck my head out of the shower curtain.

"Thanks. I really do appreciate it. But I can take care of myself. And I really think that my problems, are my problems. Especially if they're concerning Ronnie." I raised my eyebrows and he shook his head, sighing in defeat.

"All I'm saying is watch your back." He brushed his hands on his faded blue jeans and I stuck my head back under the water and started to wash myself.

"When haven't I watched my back?" I asked tiredly.

"Last time." He said softly. I heard the door open and then click shut.

I finished up in the shower and dried myself off, changing into a pair of tight black yoga pants, orange socks, and a small black and orange Flyers T-shirt. I flipped my head upside down and tied my hair into a high sloppy bun before stepping out into the hallway.

I heard catcalls coming from the lounge and shot a glare at my band. When they noticed my stare, Jesse and Dylan raised their beers and nodded their heads with grins on their faces. Mattie laughed at them and shook his head before turning to the TV and starting a game of call of duty. I smiled and walked into the kitchen to grab my own beer. I had originally planned to go straight to bed, but Mattie's words still rang through my head.

I furrowed my eye brows and sat down at the counter. I lit up a cigarette before downing some of the Budweiser. No wonder they were worried about me. I hadn't been drinking with them, let alone hanging out with them. I hadn't touched the Xbox in months, and I had spent most of the time either with my brother and Ronnie, or sleeping. When we weren't playing shows, of course. It seemed like there was never anytime offstage when it was just us anymore. Even after the huge fight and Mattie's apology, things hadn't been the same with all of us. This whole time I had been worried about making a decision about Ronnie, when maybe I should've made things right with the boys I had known to be family for years. I got up and walked over to the cabinets above the sink, opening it and pulling out a package of red solo cups and a few pong balls. I put all of it on the counter before reaching over and pulling a few more beers out of the cooler. After setting the cups up and filling them up with beer I turned the lights on, catching the guys' attention. They looked at me from the couch.

"C'mon slackers. Get your asses over here and let's get drunk." I grinned at them.

"Ya don't gotta tell me twice!" Jesse jumped up and dashed into the kitchen next to me and linking arms with me. "Partners!" He shouted at me. I smiled and gave him a sharp nod. Dylan and Mattie trudged into the kitchen, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Ugh. Fine. Put some music on so I don't have to hear them dickeat while they whoop our asses." Mattie sighed and stood on the other side of the counter.

Dylan walked over to the stereo next to the microwave and put in Metallica's Reload. I grinned when be put on Fuel.

Jesse picked up a ball and tried handing it to me, but my phone vibrated in my back pocket and I shook my head, telling him to go first. I pulled my phone out and unlocked it, seeing it was a text from Adam that I must have gotten while I was in the shower, and one from Ronnie and Jacky each telling me to call Adam as soon as possible, and that it was really important. When I scrolled down into my contacts to Adam and was about to hit 'call' I heard Dyl shout that it was my turn and to kindly "stop fucking around in the the lounge and get my ass over there" I locked my phone and shoved it back into my pocket, deciding that my brother could wait. I jogged back towards the kitchen, but I stopped when I noticed there was someone knocking on the bus door. I stepped to the left and opened the door, revealing Asking Alexandria standing there, cheering when I opened the door. Danny was in the front.

"Anyone order some food?" He asked in his thick accent. James snorted and I giggled, still standing in the doorway.

"No." I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Good. 'Cause we haven't got any!" He yelled and threw his arm in the air, which held a bottle of Jack. He used the other to gently push me aside as he stepped into the bus, along with he rest of his band, who one by one, greeted me with polite hugs. I shut the door behind them and followed them into the kitchen, where Danny and Dylan were pouring shots on the counter, while Jesse and Mattie were making shots at the remaining cups. I smiled and shook my head, grabbing a whiskey and Pepsi off of the counter and turning up the music, letting the heavy metal make the walls of the bus vibrate. Speaking of vibrate, I felt my phone go off twice more. They were both from Ronnie. I sighed and unlocked the phone. The first one read 'your brother called me again, he said it's important. Lex, he really needs to talk to you but his bus already left & he won't tell me what's up.' Which was from five minutes ago.

I gulped down some of my drink and took a drag of my cigarette before reading the second text. 'Oh, I'm sorry. You must be busy partying with asking alexandria. I'll leave you alone.' Once again, I was about to reply, but I heard Jesse shout at me to come take a shot with everyone. Reaching the conclusion that I could deal with Ronnie in he morning, and that I probably should spend time with my band, I left my phone on the couch and walked over to counter and grabbed my shot, standing around the group of men.

"On the count of three! One! Two! Three! To Skyline!" We all shouted over the blaring stereo and downed the harsh liquid, grimacing as we slammed the shot glasses onto the counter and giving eachother highfives, for what I can't recall.

I pushed all my thoughts to the back of my mind as I grabbed a pong ball and made my first shot. All thoughts, except for one.

Things are finally looking up.