I Don't Love You, Like I Did Yesterday

Lex's P.O.V. (An Hour Later)

I didn't really know how long it had been since I got home. All I knew was that it was dark. Very dark. Probably because I hadn't bothered to turn on any lights in the living room, or any other part of the house, which probably would've have been impossible because I hadn't been anywhere in the house other then the living room and my bedroom since I had came over. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I really felt the need to rub my tired aching eyes, but didn't want to get eyeliner all over my face. I needed a shower, and it would probably feel great since I was actually at home, but my tired legs that were currently propped up on the coffee table next to the remotes for the cable, television, and stereo didn't seem like they were gonna move. I stared at the walls and absentmindedly ran the hand I hadn't been using to hold my own hair back through Duke's fur, who had his large body curled of on the leather sectional with his head in my lap.

He reflected my emotions and sighed back at me. I smiled slightly and patted his head. The minutes ticked by on the clock that hung on the wall about my head, but it was too dark to see, so it could've been hours for all I knew.

It was slightly depressing, and it almost felt like I wasn't even home, since I couldn't see anything. But the smell, it was the smell that brought me back to earth.

It wasn't really good, but it also wasn't bad. You know how every home has it's own smell? Well that's the only way I could describe it. No matter how many times it was painted, the furniture was replaced, we got new animals, friends and family moved in, enemies move out, throughout the course of almost twenty years, the smell was the only thing that was always the same. It was familiar, and I could point it out among a million others.

I wasn't really upset like I was earlier and yesterday, now that I knew my father was going to be okay, it wasn't the end of the world. Adam had betrayed me, and that wasn't going to pass. My mother didn't belong here, and I was suprised she was even still in Philly. She had always hated it, even though she was born and raised here, like the rest of both sides of my family, except for Adam who moved around a lot. She had no place here, and I knew my dad felt the same way. Adam wasn't entirely at fault, he just didn't realize what he's done because he had only even met my mother a few times. He didn't see what she did to me, how hateful she made me become so early on in my life. How much more difficult she made it for my dad to handle me when I was a reckless, drunk, high, angry, mess of a manic depressive teenager I was back in the day. Where was she when he picking me up from the police station all the time for asault, underage drinking,
curfew, and all that other shit I did to get away from her?

Oh. That's right.

In the bar.

I didn't bother getting angry about it anymore, it just seemed to roll off my shoulders, as long as she was around.

Of course I felt bad for her. She mental problems, and a lot of them. She was abused, neglected, and hurt in every other way possible. But none that gave her the right to treat me and my father the way she did. Me, I didn't care about me so much. But my father was a whole other story. Even when he left for weeks at a time and spent everything be had on drugs, as soon as he came back and got our house back, I came running with open arms. But that's a story for another day.

My thoughts moved soon moved onto an even more complicated subject. Adam, but since my brother was around I had started calling him Bryan again. He hated being called Adam and ignored my whenever I used the name anyway. It was too confusing anyway. Seeing him like that was just strange to me. I never gave myself the chance to fall in love with him, so it's not like he gave me butterflies or any girly bullshit. He was attractive, yeah, hot even. We've known eachother since middle school and he was fun to party with. I didn't feel the need to go rushing into his arms, or even to call him. I knew I'd see him again, but I didn't really care when. He was just another friend from home that's gotten into the wrong type of problems, with the wrong type of people. How he'd gotten off so soon was beyond me. But it didn't matter. I sighed again and rubbed my temples before I heard a sound outside. It sounded footsteps coming up onto the front porch.

My head turned quickly and I stared in the direction of the door. Duke's head rose up and I could see the silhouette of his ears at attention as a soft growl rose in his throat. Spazz, the now fully grown cat perked her head up and meowed in the direction of the door.

I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at the door as I heard it unlocked. The only people who had keys to the house were me and my dad. But it wasn't my dad who slowly opened the door and stepped into the living room and shut the door behind them.

It was Ronnie.

"Lex?" He called out softly and I heard more footsteps on the carpet.

"Over here." I reached to the end table on my right and clicked on the lamp. The soft light illuminated the room softly and I caught the sight of his tired face.

His eyeliner was faded, his eyes seemed a little bloodshot, and his hair was messier than usual.

"Hey." He smiled before Duke jumped off the couch excitedly and sniffed Ronnie. Ronnie patted his head and let Duke lick his hand. He sat down next to me and Duke jumped up on the couch and curled up in between us.

"Hi." I smiled softly and he put an arm around my shoulder slowly, as if giving me time to push it away. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand and put on my shoulder, leaning as far as I could onto his with my dog wedged between us.

"Are you okay now?" He asked me, obviously in reference to my violent outburst against my older brother.

Instead of replying I just nodded against his shoulder and he patted me own.

"He is sorry, you know."

"I do." I answered shortly. If I would've left it at that, he probably would've thought I was still in a bad mood so I went on. "He dropped you off?" I felt him nod.

"He went back to the venue and gave me your dad's house key. He thought it would be better if he was here." He sighed and let his chin rest against my head.

"He thought right." I closed my eyes and heard him sigh at my stubborness. "I just don't want to see him right now. He might be sorry, but he fucked up. I'm not all that mad, just kinda stressed. If she did, by some freak chance, show up here... I'd have to clean up the mess, while he went off and celebrated the end of warped with everyone." I cringed at the last part, knowing the end of warped meant either no more Ronnie, or Ronnie all the time... and all the risks that came with him.

"I don't blame you. But you also have to remember something else." I raised my head to look at him. I saw the playful glint in his chocolate eyes.

"What's that?" I raised an eyebrow and pulled down my T-shirt that was riding up my back and kicked my Jordan's off before pulling my my knees up onto the couch, probably making the holes in my acid washed jeans bigger.

"That your brother doesn't have a brain." We both laughed and I turned to face him, leaning my back against where the two couches of the sectional met. Duke obviously didn't like all the moving around, and got up and trotted over to the side that wasn't occupied by us, and stretched out next to Spazz. Ronnie kicked off his own vans and pulled his legs up so that our knees were touching, and we were facing each other.

"The space where it was is just malted hops and bong resin." We broke out into laughter. (One who can guess what movie that's from gets a chapter dedicated to them!)

"Like you're much better." He snorted. I out a hand over my chest and feigned offense.

"Hey!" I slapped his knee and he covered his face with his hands as I leaned over an lightly tapped him and giggled. He pulled his hands away long enough to yank me by my arms and stretch his legs out so I was straddling his waist. "Does it bother you?" I frowned slightly at his jab.

"Does what bother me?" He titled his head against the armrest and pursed his lips.

"That I still drink sometimes. And smoke cigarettes I guess, since I haven't smoked anything else in years." The last part was in reference to the bong resin joke.

"Not really." He shrugged. "Cigarettes more so since the lung and heart disease risks-"

"But who cares? I look cool." I joked. He rolled his eyes at my deadly addiction and continued.

"And you've never really gotten piss drunk in front of to be obnoxious or anything. You only really drink or party at all when you actually have something to really celebrate." He looked down at my wrists, which he was still holding, just more loosely.

"Thank you." I smiled before leaning down and catching his lips with my own. I don't know where the surge of braveness that gave my the balls to do that came from, but my heart was thudding quickly in my chest to show for it.

Ronnie moved his hands to gently grip my shoudlers and pull me so my chest was pressing against his own which which was covered by a plain black t-shirt. After a few minutes, we pulled away and stared at eachother. I giggled and nuzzled his nose. Ronnie grinned back at me and kissed my nose.

"Did you think about it?" He asked me seriously.

"About wha- oh..." I cut myself off and my previously heavy lidded eyes opened wide and I felt him slightly stiffen under me. It may have been the way I felt so happy I had been with him atbthe moment, or even how Ronnie was the only ray on light on my horrible day, or maybe it was my heart screaming at me effected my judgement. But I said...

"I think we'll work Ronnie.