I Don't Love You, Like I Did Yesterday

Lex's P.O.V. (The Wedding Day)

I stared at my reflection in the mirror of hotel bathroom I had stayed in last night, since I wasn't allowed to see Ronnie. I stood there in disbelief, not recognizing myself in the beautiful dress, with my hair and makeup done so well by Ryan's girlfriend, who had left an hour ago with Mattie and Dylan to the house we had rented the first time we had come to L.A.

As it turned out, the owner of the home hadn't been able to rent the house out these past two years, and once Ronnie had called him and offered him money, he jumped at the chance. We were having the small ceremony in the beautiful backyard of the home we had all shared when we were off tour two years ago. I felt good about it, despite not staying there long, and having a bad time there towards the end. And from what Jesse told me, my brother and his band had came. I wouldn't know, since I hadn't spoken to him since the day I took off to be by my father's side. My dad was there as well, and just about all the people that mattered to us all.

Instead of having a maid of honour or any brides maids, I was having Mattie, Jesse, and Dylan stand by me at the altar.

I touched up the thin, elegant outline of the black eyeliner around my green eyes, the mascara making my eyelashes stand out so much that they almost looked false, and the concealer I had on my tan skin, before looking over my hair. My hair was curled and pinned up, a few black curls falling down to my kneck from under the blonde ones. Jacky had picked out and bought me a clip to match my dress, the Ruby's and rose looked as if they grew with my hair.

I adjusted the beautiful dress I had on that fit me so perfectly before slipping on the red and black ballet flats I was wearing. I had decided against heels, since they'd probably make me look like an Amazon, and I didn't want to be in pain all day from my inability to walk in the things. It didn't seem to matter, since you wouldn't be able to see my feet from under the flowing dress anyway.

"Knock knock." I heard Jesse say softly from the other side of the door.

"It's open." I replied shakily before he opened the door, I heard him gasp slightly before turning to face my longtime bestfriend.

"You look beautiful." He smiled. "I can hardly recognize you."

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically, shaking my head at his comment. He pushed my bare shoulder gently, letting me know he was kidding.

"You don't look so bad yourself, handsome." I smiled at him and fixed his tie and straightened his jacket, before pushing some of the perfectly straight, raven black hair from his crystal blue eyes.

"That bitch can eat her heart out when she sees the pictures from today." He grinned and flipped his hair, causing me to giggle.

"You can do better. She had a big nose anyway." I shrugged. He laughed this time as we exited the bathroom, stuffing his phone into the pocket of his black pants.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, seriously this time as I sat down on the bed next to him.

"I could ask you the same thing." He retorted, pretty much telling me he was fine.

"Well," I sighed and fixed the large ribbon that was wrapped around my waist. "I'm scared." I mumbled, feeling slightly alone in the world. Jesse still didn't know I was pregnant, and I felt like a horrible friend for not telling him. I just didn't want him to feel like he was losing me completely.

"Scared?" He asked softly, putting a tattooed hand on my shoulder. I put mine over his and nodded.

"It happened so fast, what if we're not ready? What if I'm not ready? I love Ronnie. More than life itself, but marriage? It's a
completely different story. Before, I could run back home whenever I needed. Now, this will be my home." I looked at him with a frown. He mirrored my expression, understanding in his eyes.

"Here." He leaned over to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a cigarette before sticking it between my lips and lighting it for me. Like I said, he still didn't know I was pregnant. Instead of pulling it from between my lips, like my pre-motherly instincts told me to, I took a long drag, but didn't inhale. Instead, I held the cigarette smoke in my mouth before blowing it out.

"You will always be able to come back, Lex. The neighborhood will always be your home, apart from the one you'll share with Ronnie. You'll always have the band,
and you'll always have me. Getting married doesn't mean your life is over, it just means you're sharing it with someone
else."

I blinked my tears back and looked back up at my bestfriend,
who was smiling softly at me.

"What would I do without you Jesse? You're always there." I smiled sadly. The meaning of my words sinking into my brain. I took a feel breath and stood up, grabbing my car keys and handing them to me as he followed.

"You'd probably be miserable." He shrugged, swinging the door open. I rolled my eyes. "I mean, come on. I'm fucking awesome. I returned his grin as we jogged out of the fancy hotel, Jesse held up the train of my dress as we made our way down the stairs. I didn't bother to bring my things, Ronnie and I would just be coming back here later anyway. My heart stared to race at the thought, possibly faster than my feet against the carpet of the hotel stairs.

"Hey! Look at her!" Jesse pointed to an elderly woman, standing by the receptionist's desk we were heading toward.

"What about her?" I asked as as he gripped my dress lighter since we were nearing the car.

"Hey baby! Lookin' for a good time?" He whistled, earning gasps and looks from all the people in the swanky lobby we were running through. It reminded me of those times at the airport when he'd always mess with the old women.

We turned back to each other and howled with laughter, enjoying ourselves way too much before pushing the doors open. I gasped at the beautiful day we had just rushed out to, the smile still apparent on my face as Jesse unlocked the doors to my car and we got in.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" He sent me a dashing smile as he pulled off onto the boulevard. "Not so scared now?" He glanced at me and murmured softly, just a bit over the station playing Metallica on the radio.

I gasped slightly at him, realizing he had just caused a huge scene in the hotel just to make me smile. We started to laugh again, probably looking fucking insane to the drivers alongside us. As we pulled up to a red light, there was a bald man stopped on my side, and he had so much self-tanner on he was literally orange. I looked over at Jesse, not missing the mischievous glint in his eye. I just turned away, before leaning out of the window and winking at him.

"Hey sexy! Looking for a good time?" I shouted and nodded at the embarrassed man, who's wife was in the passenger's seat of the SUV, currently yelling at him for staring at the "whore".

As soon as the light turned green, Jesse hit the gas as we laughed so hard I felt tears prick my eyes. I turned back to my bestfriend and put my hand over his left, which was currently resting on the gearshift.

"Not scared at all." I felt more tears prick my eyes, but out of sincere happiness this time.

I looked him in the eyes as we sped toward the house we had all shared two years ago.

The house we fought in.

The house we shared our dreams in.

The house we loved in.

The house where I'd be getting married.

Ronnie's P.O.V.

"Is she here yet?" I figited with the jacket of my suit and peered out. Jenn, Ryan's girlfriend smoothed out her purple dress and walked over to the door from the bathroom she was in, touching up a few girls' makeup that were attending. I think some of them were friends of hers, some from Lex's highschool that had moved out here, and some of Adam's bandmate's girlfriends.

"No Ronnie; she isn't supposed to be for another ten minutes." She shook her head, smiling knowingly at me before she shut the bedroom door, leaving me with Jacky and Ryan. Derek and Ron were already out back making sure everything went according to plan. I walked back over to the closet door and fixed my long, perfectly straight hair; making sure my makeup looked fine. So manly, I know.

Sighing inpatiently, I paced around the room. My anxiety seemed to be climbing with each passing moment. It was even worse than when I first got out of prison, nothing could compare to this.

"Dude." Ryan chuckled from a fold out chair next to Jacky across the room, since there was no furniture in the house we had called a temporary home not so long ago. "Calm down. Jesse texted me not even twenty minutes ago. They're on their way." I shook my head at his words as he sipped his bottle of Miller Light. Jacky smiled at me reassuringly and nodded.

"But what if she doesn't? What if she decided that she doesn't want someone so fucked up, and hops on the next plane back to Philly?" I asked with wide eyes. I sat down in the fold out chair next to door and put my head in my hands.

"Relax, man. She's coming. I know Lex, she wouldn't skip out on you like that. If she didn't want to marry you, she wouldn't have said yes to you two weeks ago. Just do yourself a favor and calm down." Jacky enthused, trying to get me pumped up.

"That's it! Two weeks! What if weren't not ready? It's been two weeks. Two fucking weeks. I don't even know-"

"Ronnie." Ryan cut me off.

"-if I can take-" I kept going.

"Ronnie!" He exclaimed louder. I still didn't stop.

"This. She's gonna-"

"RONNIE!" This time it was Jacky, I looked up from the wood floor that I had been engrossed in while pacing quickly and ranting nervously. I knew better than to trust my mouth, and settled for a quick nod.

"Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with the girl? Especially considering he situation now?" He turned back to me and raised an eyebrow. Ryan looked on confused. I nodded again.

"Then you'll be fine. You'll have the happily ever after life, if you work for it." He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled at me. This little pep talk calmed me down quite a bit, so much so that I was able to return the smile, that is, until Ryan bad to open his mouth.

"What "situation"?" He asked cautiously, "you mean you inviting Max? He hasn't caused any trouble..." He was using his fingers for the air quotes. Jacky's arms dropped back to his sides and we shared a look before I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

"You might as well tell him now." Jacky sighed and shook his head before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Tell me what?" Ryan asked again before setting his empty beer bottle on the floor next to his feet.

I dropped my hands and I stared at him. I glanced at Jacky who nodded toward the drummer. I responded with a glare before turning back to Ryan.

"Lex is pregnant." I said quickly, figuring it was better to just rip the band-aid off rather than tug at it slowly.

"Really?" His jaw dropped. I nodded with a small smile. "So! She definitely won't bail on you now! She's having your kid! It's like a shotgun wedding, except it's to her back, not yours!" He grinned at the idea. My face dropped and I stared blankly at him.

"You're an asshole. You know that?" I stated.

"I didn't mean it like that! I'm just saying, at least we know she won't leave! She's probably happy! You're gonna have a family! I bet she'll be a great mom." I raised an eyebrow. "I mean c'mon, if she could handle eight guys on a tiny bus, she can handle a kid. And she obviously loves you if she took you back!" He smiled. I couldn't help but let my mood soften at his words.

"Although, she might turn back when she sees what you did to your head." His smile vanished as he pointed to the portion of my hair that was shaved and the scalp was tattooed.

"See? Can't say anything nice at all, asshole." I growled. We all turned around after hearing a knock at the door, Jenn stuck her head in.

"Come on guys, it's time." She smiled when Ryan took her hand. Jacky and I followed them down the stairs and through the familiar, empty house to the sliding back doors in the kitchen; but not before I was able to glimpse the bay window by the front door that had caused so much trouble.

You mean all the trouble you caused.

I grimaced, shoving my "conscience" to the back of my mind.

As we stepped out of the sliding doors, I let my smoke return at the sight of the beautifully decorated, large backyard. The few rows of chair separated by two rows of flowers alongside the aisle my fiancée would be walking down were filled with familiar faces, turning to smile at us as we quickly made our way to the altar. Derek got up to join Jacky and Ryan to my left and gave his seat to Jenn. I smiled at Dylan and Mattie, who were standing on the other side, where Lex would be. The seconds ticking away felt like hours and the music played softly in the background as I waited for Alexandria to step from the patio with her father.

The door slid open and I felt my heart speed up, only for my hopes to be crushed and lifted at the same time, when Jesse emerged from the house, jogging over.

"False alarm everyone, my bad." He grinned at the small audience and came over to me. "Good luck, dude." He grinned at my confused expression before stepping next to Mattie and Dylan who were rolling their eyes at him like he was an idiot. I felt a small smile slip onto my lips and shook my head slightly at the guys. I felt a tap on my elbow and looked over to the guy who'd be marrying us. He was a friend of Nasty's, who was sitting somewhere in the rows of chairs next to Adam. This guy was in a band I had never heard of, but had gotten his minister's license as way to appease his father, a priest or someshit. I dunno what a "minster's license" is, or if it even exists, but he had married another couple that Nason brought, so I was almost positive it was legit. I peered at him, and followed his eyes over to where the back door slid open. Out stepped Lex's father, who held the door open and offered his arm to whoever was inside.

I took the biggest breath I could ever recall taking and felt someone pat me on the back. I didn't bother to see who it was, out of fear that if I tore my eyes away from the door for one moment, she'd never come out.

My prayers were soon answered, and Alexandria stepped out onto the shaded patio, taking her father's arm. I felt my chest tighten at the sight. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She quickly scanned the crowd, I noticed her recognize Max in the second row by the way her eyes widened before letting her eyes fall on me.

The dress she was wearing could've convinced anyone that she was a princess, and the raven colored curls that fell from her loosely tied hair bounced with every step she took, smiling at me with red lips. I saw her green eyes become glassy as she gripped her bouquet of roses, matching the hair piece that's Jacky picked out, currently resting in her hair elegantly. Her father smiled down at her and released her arm, brushing the bow the ribbon wrapped around her slender waist formed into, the same spot her dress let out beautifully. He leaned down and tearfully kissed his daughter's cheek, who bared a great resemblance to himself, before whispering something and smiling at me and taking a seat in the front row. Lex stood across from me, smiling and blinking back tears. I mirrored her expression before we turned to the man standing in the middle of us.

"You guys want the quick version? Not all that religious shit, right?" He whispered, playing with the sleeves to the dress shirt that was covering his tattoos.

"Yeah." My fiancée nodded before smiling at me. "We haven't had time for vows, so I guess just skip it." She whispered back.

"We can make them later." I mouthed, resisting the urge to kiss the woman I hadn't been able to see or touch in weeks. She out her hand over her heart to acknowledge the gesture she obviously thought was sweet. I looked over her body, admiring the colorful, detailed tattoos that weren't covered by her strapless, gorgeous gown.

"Do you, Ronald Joseph Radke, take Alexandria Avery Carson to be your lawfully wedded wife? For rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" The guy asked. Man. This dude really got the fucking point.

"I do." My voice cracked slightly as I stared into Lex's emerald orbs, it sounds incredibly cliché, but I seemed to be able to see my future in those eyes, and the past that came along with it.

And do you, Alexandria Avery Carson, take Ronald Joseph Radke, to be your lawfully wedded husband, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" He looked between us and smirked.

"I do." Lex let a tear slip down her cheek. I could only imagine what she was thinking.

"Do we have the rings?"

"I got 'em." Jesse reached into his suit jacket and placed a ring into both of our hands. I took Alexandria's right hand, and slipped the whitegold band around her fingers, but not before I slipped a ruby ring I had bought with the bands since I hadn't given her an engagement ring when I proposed, instead, giving her back the necklace that the ring matched, that I hadn't seen come off her neck since I had put it on her.

She looked down and gasped. I grinned at her reaction. She looked down and slipped the larger band onto my left ring finger, letting everyone know I had given myself to this beautiful woman.

"Any objections?" He asked, looking over everyone sitting behind us.

"Fuck no!" I heard Adam shout. My heart sped up, expecting the girl standing front of me to snap at her brother. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised when she turned back to smile warmly at him before facing me again.

"Well then, glad to get that outta the way... I now pronounce you man and wife, kiss the bride!" As soon as the words escaped the mans beard surrounded mouth, I reached forward and grabbed my wife by her face gently and smashed my lips onto hers, feeling her arms around my shoulders as she returned the passionate kiss, everyone shouting and clapping behind us. I heard the clicking noise of the camera of the photographer Jenn found for us, followed by the similar clicks of the phone's and cameras of everyone else. After we broke apart I looked down at my wife, who was laughing and letting happy tears fall at the same time.

"I missed you so much." Lex gasped before kissing me again. We pulled away and I leaned my forehead against hers and stared down into her teary eyes with my own.

"I missed you too, Alexandria." I murmured against her lips and nuzzled her nose.

"I was so scared." She looked down briefly. "But this is the best day of my life. I love you, Ronnie." She said over the everyone's conversations behind us.

"I love you too, Alexandria Radke" I kissed her lips one more time, no doubt making my own lips red with her lipstick. We broke apart, still holding hands as we turned to face everyone, and pose for pictures with our loved ones around us.

"I told you that you'd be Misses Radke someday." I smiled at her. Alexandria looked up at me and smiled before our bands walked over and embraced us, the familiar sound of camera shudders snapping pictures of our group hug.