Favored By Her Father

Despite Jabari's promises, he was once again on the road. He came back as often as he could and I did try to be more open to his presence, though sometimes I had to fight back my natural reaction to shun him.

Once, when I had been sitting up in bed, after another long night, feeding Minkabh, Jabari had come into the room and sat behind me on the bed. I leaned into him, relaxing at the warm feel of his body in the cool morning air. He had been surprised and tensed up for a moment, and then tried to wrap his arms around my waist, behind Minkabh's side as he lay in my lap.

"Stop," I had said. He sighed and let his hands drop to the side. I felt him lean back against the wall.

"You were disturbing Minkabh," I said. Jabari leaned forward again and peered over my shoulder, smiling. Minkabh's black eyes met his fathers and the small child gave Jabari a stern look as if to say, "I am feeding, Papa. Have your dalliances on your own time." Jabari chuckled and kissed my cheek, then his hands moved up to rub my shoulders.

While I tried to be more relaxed around Jabari, one thing still pulled at me. Jabari insisted I had met him when I was younger, but I had no memory of this. He had made this claim many times but for some strange reason it bothered me more so now than it had before. It was as though my heart knew something it was keeping secret. I wracked my brain, but could still come up with nothing, neither a face, nor a place.

When Minkabh was fifteen months, I found I was once again with child. I was upset at first, worried that while my son was a happy and healthy child, the babe I carried would suffer the same cruel fate as my poor Anippe.

Jabari had comforted me when I told him of my fear, saying that it would not happen. I did not understand how he could seem so sure, but he was right. I did have my doubts when I went into labor a full month early, but I was proven wrong.

I spent what seemed like hours, screaming and pushing until I finally gave birth to a girl, Kinika. While Bahiti cleaned her, the birthing woman cried out in surprise. I knew something was wrong when I continued to feel the pressure and pains of labor.

"Oh dear," the woman exclaimed.

"What?" I asked, panicked. "What is wrong?" Bahiti gave Kinika to the physician and ran to the birthing woman's side. Her eyes widened and she looked up at me sharply. I feared the worst. I was bleeding. I was going to die.

"Push!" Bahiti exclaimed. I looked at her, bewildered.

"There is a second child," she said. "Push!"

I did and the second girl came easier than the first. I named her Rashida.

Jabari was thrilled that I had birthed twins and practically tackled me when I came out of the birthing house. I had only just put the twins in their beds when he grabbed me, lifted me into the air and spun me around.

"You are the most wonderful woman in the world!" he cried, crushing his mouth to mine. "You have given me two children!" I rolled my eyes and hushed him, squirming out of his hold.

"Stop acting like a foolish," I scolded. "You will wake the children."

Jabari smiled and ushered me into my room, pushing me back onto the bed and tearing at my wrap.

"Jabari, stop!" I exclaimed. "I cannot have sex!" Jabari stopped and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. He swore and lifted his head, kissing me.

"Forgive me. I forgot," he said. He stood and paced the room.

"I love you, Meri," he said. I remained silent. His dark eyes searched my pale ones.

"You still do not love me?" he asked.

"Jabari," I sighed, "I do not know what you expect of me. You still will not tell me anything of how I know you and you always seem to be away."

He leaned against the doorway to the balcony, pressing his forehead to his clenched fists and sighed.

"I know. I am expecting miracles."

He pushed off the door and left.

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The next day, Jabari did not come to breakfast. Much to my surprise my sister, Henut, was there, along with my father.

"Papa, Henut? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Jabari asked me to come by and visit," Papa said.

"And I was asked to come stay with you for a while," Henut replied. Henut was the daughter of my mother's sister, Maathrneferure. She was born six months before me. A year and a half ago her husband had been killed by a hippo when he was going down the Nile and fell out of his boat. The other men in the boat had shot the Hippo with arrows and spears, trying to save him, but when they had finally dragged his body back onto the boat, it had been too late. One of the beast's massive fangs had pierced his heart. He was dead long before they had even started trying to retrieve him. She had shut herself up in their home and cried, refusing to see anyone. Papa had gone down, himself and demanded she come out and stop acting foolish. After that, Henut had returned home for a time, before resuming her place in her home. She had not yet married again, and no one knew if she ever would, but there was talk that she had one or two suitors who sought her hand.

I was confused as to why Jabari would call them to our home. I went to sit at the table and eat with my family, brushing the thought aside.

When we were done, we went to the court yard, taking the children with us. Papa played with Minkabh, chasing him around the yard and laughing. I smiled, remembering when Papa would dismiss all his court work for a few hours to chase me around the courtyard. I would weave in and out of the trees and duck under the bushes, but Papa always caught me, lifting me high into the air and laughing. I would kick my legs out and reach for him, wanting him to hold me. After we played for a time and he was forced to come back in and attend to his work, I would sit by him in a simple waist wrap and drink sweet fruit drinks while listening to him talk. I would eventually fall asleep, curled up against him.

"Mama!" Minkabh cried, pointing toward the gate. "Papa! Papa!"

I looked up and saw Jabari walking through the gate, dressed in his full court regalia. He wore a waist wrap with a gold belt, and a long sheer open tunic. He had gold bands around both biceps and wrists and a gold circlet on his head. He strode up to my father and knelt, bowing his head and staring at the ground.

"Great Pharaoh," he said, "I ask your permission to court your daughter."

I scowled at this. He brought my sister here to court her? In front of me, in the way he had never done for me? My anger welled up, and then abruptly died when my father turned, smiled at me and asked;

"Well, Meri. What do you say?" My jaw dropped and I turned to Jabari.

"We are already married," I said.

"She has objections, son," Papa said, grinning. "She says you already have her hand."

"I am not asking for her hand," Jabari said, not rising or looking up. "I am asking for her heart. I want her to love me as I love her." My father's dark eyes softened and he smiled at Jabari.

"I do not know if she will ever know how much you truly love her," he said. The feeling that I had been left out of some big secret made itself known. Why did everyone seem to know what I did not?

"Meritites?"

I looked up to find my father staring at me.

"What do you say?" he asked.

"Oh, yes," I said.

"My daughter consents, so you have my permission," Papa said.

"Thank you," Jabari said, standing. He walked over and knelt before me, taking my hand.

"Meritites, daughter of the Pharaoh Rameses, I intend to court you. I love you and wish for you to return my feelings," he spoke as though he had spent time rehearsing what he would say. I reached down, cupping his cheek.

"I accept, General," I said.

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I found out that Jabari had moved in with Tarik and Bahiti temporarily. Henut was to stay and help me around the house in his absence. He had also taken a leave from work, letting one of his top lieutenants take over for him. He would still need to go out to the borders should the need arise, just not as much.

As the courting began I found myself looking forward to my husband's visits. He would always show up in one of his general uniforms, weather it was his battle gear, training uniform or his court regalia usually saved for special occasions. My favorite was his court wear. He always looked so handsome dressed in gold bands and fine cloth. The sheer open tunic only emphasized his broad shoulders and muscular arms. I may not be too fond of my husband but I could appreciate that he was a very handsome man.

Sometimes he brought me exotic gifts from far away countries he had been to or gifts for the children. Other times I would get a surprise visit from a favored sibling or my parents, and I was constantly getting little love notes. I would find them on my pillow, by my plate at breakfast, on my vanity mirror or in the carriage when I went shopping.

He wrote about how he loved me, how he had done everything he could to ensure I became his wife. He spoke of our children, how precious they were to him and how he loved me more for giving them to him.

He told me my beauty was so great it rivaled Isis herself, my laugh was the gentle ring of bells, and my voice soothed his temper and inflamed him with desire all at once.

There were other letters, ones that I mostly found in my room. They spoke of how he felt when we made love. How he loved the sounds I made, the way my body would arch towards him. These letters made me blush.

It was an interesting courting, since we were already married and had been together for four winters, he spoke of things we had already done together instead of things he had envisioned for us.

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One balmy summer day, when the twins were eight months, Jabari rode into the court yard, dressed in his court attire. He stood at the base of the balcony that Henut had ushered me onto. The sun turned his hair a deep blue color under the gold circlet on his head and he brought up a large hand to shield his kohl lined eyes from the sun.

"Meritites, daughter of the great Pharaoh Rameses, I come to you with a question. Do you love me?" he called. Minkabh laughed and peered down at his father between the bars of the balcony railing.

"Papa! Papa!" He clapped. Kinika and Rashida jumped around in there crib and shrieked in delight at their brother.

"General Jabari, son of…" I stopped. I could not remember his father's name.

"Yuny," Henut whispered. I scowled at this. How did she know?

"Son of Yuny," I continued. "Your efforts have been well received, and while I harbor a deep affection for you, I do not love you," I paused, then added, "yet."

Jabari's face fell, but he looked at me with hopeful eyes. I took off the length of cloth that tied my dress closed, who would see but the children and Jabari, and tossed it down to him. He caught the cloth and held it to his face, inhaling the scent of my perfume. His eyes raked over the sliver of my naked body that could be seen through the small opening of my untied tunic. I blushed at this. Jabari's eyes came back to my face and mixed with the desire I saw there was adoration.

"My love," he said, closing his eyes again, the belt still held up to his face. "When my mother died when I was fifteen, I thought my broken heart would never heal, but you healed me. I will win your love."

I smiled and watched him as he turned and left.

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The next day Jabari did not show up, but this was not strange. I found the usual note on my vanity and got ready for my day. Henut and I took care of the children and ran the household, then made beer. Around noon it began to rain, heavy torrents soaking everything they touched. The weather made the children sleepy, so we put them down for a nap and sat under an alcove in the court yard to enjoy the cool air. Henut seemed anxious as we talked and barely responded when I asked her a question. Finally I got irritated with it.

"Henut, what is wrong?" I asked.

"I cannot believe you do not remember him!" she burst out.

"Who?" I asked, "Jabari?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, "That fever must have affected you more than we thought."

I was always a bit weak as a child, so weak that doctors had recommended I be breast fed until I was five. I never really got sick, but I seemed to lack strength. My parents often worried that I would not make it to adulthood. Then, two months before my tenth birthday, I became very ill. I had a high fever that almost killed me. My father had called every doctor and priest he could to my bedside. I vaguely remembered tossing and turning in my bed while my parents stood around me, the thick smell of incense in the air that made my stomach turn, and the chants of holy men, appealing to the gods. I choked down potion after potion, and screamed when I was touched. The simplest touch hurt. Eleven days after I became ill, I suddenly grew hot. So hot I could not stand it. The servants bathed me with the coolest water they could get. I soaked my bed clothes with sweat and cried out for my parents. I was delirious. Mama wept at my side and Papa pressed a cold cloth to my forehead. The next morning my fever was gone. I woke up tired, pale and alive, but my memory had suffered. I could not remember six months before and was surprised to find that it was almost my birthday. Over the years bits and pieces of that time came back to me, but I never really tried to remember. It was a simple six month period. Nothing significant had happened. Or so I thought.

"Tell me of him," I said. Henut shook her head.

"Jabari asked me not to," she said. "He wants you to remember on your own."

I sighed and stared out the window at the pouring rain. Henut hinted that it was during the six month period before my illness. I tried to remember, but it was so hard. I had no clue except that I had met a boy, which did not narrow it down. I met many boys.

"Can you give me a hint?" I asked.

"He is Yuny's son!" Henut cried, frustrated, "Surely you remember when his wife suffered that accident and died."

I looked up at her, suddenly, my eyes wide. I did remember. I had remembered for a long time now but I had never made the connection. Yuny had been my father's chief scribe, this I always knew. After my fever he had still been in the palace. His wife had fallen off a chariot on a hunting trip and broken her leg. The leg became infected and after months of fevers and vomiting, she finally died.

Yuny had brought his son over with him while my father helped him with the arrangements. I had only seen the boy in passing when Papa shooed me from his study to go play with my siblings.

I was running about the court yard with Henut, my younger sister Nubemiunu and my two elder brothers Merymontu and Geregtawy.

Henut, Merymontu, Nubemiunu and I were darting around the yard, hiding from Geregtawy while he stood by a large statue and counted. I had climbed over a small fence and moved behind a cluster of palm trees to hide.

I was surprised to find a young boy already there. He looked about fifteen. He had black hair that was cut to his chin, dark skin, a broad face and long gangly limbs. He turned to me and his dark eyes were red and swollen.

"Who are you?" he croaked.

"I am Meritites, daughter of the Pharaoh," I said. "Why are you crying?"

"My mother died," he said, rubbing his eyes. I leaned over and hugged him, my thin arms encircling his already broad shoulders.

"I am sorry," I said, reaching up and wiping his tears away. He stared at me.

From the other side of the fence I heard Henut shriek and Geregtawy laugh. I stood and grabbed the boy's hand.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Jabari," he said. "But everyone calls me Bari."

"Well, Bari," I said. "You should come play with my siblings and me." Jabari smiled at me and stood, following me back out into the courtyard.

Over the next three months Jabari and I had become fast friends. He would come to the palace after school and we would play games, read and dance together. If I was in lessons when he arrived, he would peek through the door and make faces at me. I would try to ignore him so the teacher would not scold me. Normally if a child got in trouble at lessons the teacher would cane them, but my father had forbidden this. I was not to be caned. I was not strong enough to take that kind of punishment.

One day, Jabari arrived looking very serious. He had taken me by the hand and gone to my father's study. We paused outside the door, and he looked me in the eye.

"Meri, I love you," he had said. I gave him a bewildered look.

"Jabari, is everything alright?" I asked.

"Just know that I love you," he said. I blushed and he leaned down, pressing a clumsy kiss to my lips. He had then pushed open the doors and stood before my father's desk, my hand still clutched in his.

"I want to become a general in your army," Jabari blurted out. My father looked up from his paperwork, surprised. He studied Jabari for a long moment, then his eyes fell on our clasped hands and he smiled.

"It is good to see you are enthusiastic about a military career," Papa said.

"Can I, then?" Jabari asked. Papa set aside his pen, put his elbows on the desk, set his chin on his interlocked fingers and considered Jabari.

"Why do you want to join my army, son?" Papa asked, slowly.

"I want to make my father proud and…" Jabari stopped and blushed.

"And?" Papa encouraged.

"And…and…and I want to make Meri proud, too, because I want to marry her!" Jabari's grip on my hand tightened, but I didn't notice. I was too busy gapping at him while my cheeks flamed.

"You realize what it would mean to enter into my army, correct?" Papa questioned.

"I do, sir," Jabari answered.

"They will not go easy on you just because you are Yuny's son," Papa warned.

"I understand, sir," Jabari said. Papa nodded his head and sat back in his chair, reaching for a blank piece of Papyri. He picked up his pen and began writing. I looked at Jabari but his eyes were fixed nervously on my Papa. I knew the seconds seemed like hours to him as he waited to see what Papa was doing. Jabari must have felt my eyes on him because he turned and looked at me, a nervous smile on his face. He then leaned forward and kissed me. His teeth cut into my lip and his first try only caught the corner of my mouth. But I blushed still and my heart fluttered.

"This is a note, allowing you to join my army," Papa said, holding out the papyri. Jabari took it and bowed so low he almost knocked his head on the desk.

"Thank you, sir."

After that Jabari had left and a few months later I fell ill.

Henut was grinning at me.

"Do you finally remember?" she asked. I gapped at her, at a loss for words.

"Why did no one say anything?" I asked at last.

"Jabari asked us not to," she said. "He hoped you would remember on your own, but I do not know if he was aware of your illness. I do not think any of us were really aware of how much it took from you. We were all so glad you were happy and finally healthy we did not wish to think of the details."

I stood and ran out of the house, heading to Bahiti and Tarik's home. My feet slid in the wet sand and the rain drenched me, plastering my long hair to my face and shoulders. My long blue dress stuck to my body and my sheer tunic was rendered transparent.

I banged on the door loudly, not caring about the ruckus I caused. Bahiti answered the door, looking worried.

"Meri, wha-?"

"Where is Jabari?" I asked urgently. "I must see him."

"Oh, of course," she said, flustered. She turned to run up the stairs and fetch Jabari, but paused.

"Meri's here to see you," she said. I looked up and saw Jabari gapping at me.

"Meritites? Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I remember," I said, breathlessly.

"Remember?" he repeated, confused.

"Yes," I panted. He stared at me for a moment. He was dressed in a simple wrap that hung low on his hips. His hair wasn't combed back like is usually was and a few strands fell in his face. I stared back at him, trying to say with my eyes what I couldn't fit into words. He suddenly flew down the stairs and rushed to me, grabbing my shoulders.

"Really?" he asked, his dark eyes sparkling. I nodded. Jabari's face broke out into a grin and he hugged me tightly.

"Why did you not say anything?" I asked against his shoulder.

"At first I thought you were mad at me for leaving you," Jabari said, still holding me. "But when I realized you had forgotten, I was hoping you would remember on your own. I just cannot believe it took so long."

"I had a fever after you left," I said. "I almost died. It…it effected my memory."

Jabari looked surprised at this.

"I did not know," he said. He stared at me for a long time and I stared back.

"Why did you not write me?" I asked.

"I did at first," he said, pushing my wet hair from my face. "As much as my training would allow. You never wrote back so after a year, I stopped."

"I never got any letters," I said. He only shrugged. That didn't matter now. I had found my way back to him.

"You have always loved me." It was not a question.

"Always," he confirmed.

"You joined the army for me," I sighed.

"Yes," he said. "I knew being a scribe would not be enough. I became a general so I could give you everything you deserved."

"Jabari," I said my voice soft.

"I had to push myself harder than anyone else. I had to get to the top. Nothing else would be good enough.

"When I came back to seek your hand, I was told your father was lining up suitors, all of whom were offering up contracts. I thought you would remember me, so I told your father I was ready to take you as my wife as soon as possible. He remembered me and agreed.

"When I met you in the receiving hall, I thought you were angry that I had been gone so long and since your father did not seem worried, neither was I. Once I brought you home, I thought you were still angry. After you asked me why I wanted you, I realized you really did not remember."

"And you wanted me to remember on my own," I said. "But you did not know I had fallen ill after you left and in truth, we all forgot. My sister said that no one really thought of the repercussions since I was happy and finally healthy, so they pushed aside thoughts that I was not whole." Jabari kissed me.

"How did you remember?" he asked, not pulling back from my lips.

"Henut mentioned your mother's death," I said. "I remembered when Papa was helping your father with the funeral preparations and he brought you along with him."

"I wish I had thought of that," he muttered.

"If you were smarter, you would have," I teased. Jabari smirked and cupped my cheek.

"Come home, Jabari," I said.

"Do you love me, then?" he asked.

"Jabari…" I whined.

"I will not come home until you love me," he said. "I will admit I made a grave error in how I have brought you here, but I want to make things better. I will come home when you love me."

"Please," I begged. Jabari pressed a finger to my lips.

"Shhh, do not argue with me. Go home."

"If I say no?" I challenged.

"Meri," he growled playfully, pulling me flush against his body. "Do as I say." He kissed me, and I clung to him, then he pulled away and pushed me out the door.