What I Am to You

"Why would you do that?" Joshua asked, pulling the earpiece out and slamming it on the tech table backstage.
"Do what?" Phillip asked, that laugh was in his voice. He put his earpiece down gently, and Josh turned to face him. He was clearly exasperated. "What?" Phillip laughed this time.
"You're not funny anymore, Phillip, like. You're funny but it's hard," he said, keeping his voice level. Phillip couldn't keep his giggles in.
"Is that a pun?" he barely squeaked through his clenched teeth. Joshua sighed audibly. Phillip was biting his lip trying to keep his composure, Joshua finally looked him in the eyes and couldn't keep himself from smiling.
"Not always," he answered. Both of them busted out laughing. Phillip stepped closer to Joshua.
"Really?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow up. Joshua's teeth sank down on his bottom lip and he averted his eyes.
"Shut up." Josua's face was painted with discomfort. Phillip's hands cruised up his arms, and his voice softened as he said:
"No, I really wanna know." Joshua shrugged.
"I mean, not all the time. Sometimes, I guess," he said, squirming out of Phillip's grasp. Phillip smiled that smile.
"Huh," he said, "well damn. I'm pretty sexy." He walked past Joshua, towards the other room. Joshua's eyes followed the way his hips moved until he sat himself on the couch in the sitting room where they sat in between sets. Joshua looked at where he sat and placed himself on the other end of the couch. "Are you really over there?" Phillip moved, sitting in the middle of the couch, his elbows resting on his thighs, hands clasped between his knees. Joshua shrugged.
"Why'd you do it?" Joshua asked, moving slightly closer. Phillip could feel that he was still tense. Phillip looked at him, put his hand on Joshua's knee. Joshua ran his hand up to push his hand away, but Phillip put his hand over it, and held it there. Joshua tried to move away, but Phillip held him there, with that one hand, those eyes. "I mean, you just look at me, and I don't know how you want me not to want you."
"Maybe I want you to want me," his voice and his face were intense, but then he smiled. "I want you to want me," he sang the cheesy Cheap Trick classic quietly.
"I need you to need me," Joshua continued, finally loosening up. Singing was the only place he could be truly comfortable with who he was. "I'd love you to love me." He was singing more to himself, distracted enough for Phillip to lean closer to him.
"I'm beggin' you to beg me." He purposely let his voice rasp across the words, and Joshua was so close to him, he couldn't look away. It made him shiver. They hung there in silence, suspended in the words that just came off Phillip's lips. Joshua fixated on them before he finally fell out of the trance.
"This is.. awkward," he said it louder than he needed to. Phillip smiled. He was always smiling.
"Yeah," he nodded in agreement. Joshua's eyes drifted down across the blue carpeted floor, Phillip looked at him. He ran his hands up Joshua's sides, and just as their eyes met, their lips collided. Joshua naturally tried to pull away, and all he managed to do was pull Phllip down on top of him. Joshua's arms went around him, and Phillip didn't break the kiss, just pressed the tips of his fingers harder into his sides. The way Joshua's breath left his lungs filled Phillip with tension. He didn't want to push this, he didn't know where to go. He didn't know where he wanted to go, he'd never been with a man. This wasn't about a man, it was about Joshua, and the raw emotion that he embodied. Phillip's lips trailed down from the corner of Joshua's mouth to his jawline. His hand slipped from Phillip's back to his sides, and he pushed him. Phillip looked at him, with an intoxicated expression. HIs eyes were the equivalent of a husky voice, but a hundred times hotter.
"Mh," he said quietly, just looking in Phillip's eyes. "Not here, baby." He bit his lips immediately after, he'd not intended to say that word. Phillip smiled, sitting up and fixing his shirt, his pants, his hair. Typical of a paranoid teenager, definitely, but cute.
"So, later then?" he asked cheekily. Joshua shrugged and flashed a half smile. Phillip pouted, and it made Joshua feel a little wave of power across his chest. This is how Phillip must feel when he teases him. All the accidental touches, brushing against him, spending hours lazing in a towel after showers, sitting next to him on the couch, staying up talking in his room. All of the little things that Phillip did, Joshua should have seen it sooner. They'd talked about. One tipsy night, one hushed conversation. That's really sexy, Josh had said and Phillip asked him what. You. Joshua had blushed, and it didn't take long before Phillip started to tease him, look at him, flirt with him. I'm not gay, Phillip had said, I'm just a flirt. Joshua just took him at face value, his rough skinned hands seldomly grazing his skin, but when they did, Joshua was high for days. Something told him that those days were over.
~
Joshua laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Moonlight tried to penetrate his shades, and it cast him room in soft blue light. His room was on the first floor, and Phillip's upstairs. But he was in the shower, off Joshua's room. Joshua spent many nights putting himself to sleep to the sound of water rushing against Phillip's skin, and the way he hummed to himself. You could just hear his smile. Tonight, the last thing on Joshua's mind was sleep. Insomnia rattled him, and it was uncharacteristically hot. No amount of A/C would cure this, it was deep in him, and even though he was only clad in his light blue boxer-briefs and a grey v-neck, it couldn't escape. When the water cut off, Joshua almost wanted to pull the sheet up over him and pretend he died. The door opened and unnatural light poured into the room, intterupting the scintillating moonlight, with Phillip's scintillating presence. Joshua was reluctant to look over at him because he half expected him to be naked, but he was disappointed to see that he had on pajamas and a black A shirt. "So, are you gonna invite me in?" he laughed, and the smile stole away the tension.
"What're you, a vampire? Gosh." Joshua laughed, and Phillip flipped off the bathroom light and walked over to the double that Joshua was on. He had chosen the room with the double, he liked smaller beds, even though there was a queen just across the room. He didn't need two beds, but the modern white room was clean, and he liked that. Sparse furniture with sharp edges.
"Isn't that a werewolf? That you have to invite in?" he asked, and Joshua scooted over. There was just enough room for them to lay down and not touch. Phillip's hands were behind his head, and Joshua's were folded across his ribs. Joshua was laughing. He loved when they just laughed together.
"No," he finally said. Phillip shrugged. "What song were you singing in there?" he tried to make conversation. Phillip elbowed him in the side gently.
"So, you listen?" he asked, that tone emanating in his words. Joshua was glad that Phillip couldn't see him blushing. "It's called Faster," he said. Joshua nodded.
"I've heard it on the radio, I think," he said. Phillip turned on his side, proppong his head up on one arm, laying the other perilously close to Joshua.
"Yeah, it was pretty popular. I feel awkward in there if I'm just quiet," he smirked. Joshua didn't get the joke, so he just nodded.
"I couldn't imagine you quiet," he said, and both of them were laughing quietly. Phillip tried not to notice that Joshua wouldn't look at him, but wouldn't stop smiling.
"Yeah, I'm guess I'm a noisy guy." Joshua picked up on that innuendo immediately, and his face flushed.
"Shut up," he said playfully, and Phillip put his hands on top of Joshua's. Joshua bit his lips to keep from grinning, and he pulled his hands away and turned on his side to face Phillip. His head rested on the pillow, and all he could do was breathe in Phillip's scent. It was warm like nutmeg, with a touch of something more manly. "So, earlier," Joshua began.
"What about it?" Phillip asked, and Joshua didn't speak, his hand fell on Phillip's hip, and he kissed his neck. Phillip breathed quietly, and tilted his head back. Joshua pushed him gently; Phillip slowly laid down, and Joshua turned too, arching slightly over him. Joshua smelled like clean sheets, and Phillip couldn't stop his hands as they ran up his back on the inside of his shirt. The heat coming off his skin, and the cool feeling of his teeth gently dancing against Phillip's jugular, the mere juxtaposition of sensations was enough. This wasn't flirting, this was blatant homosexuality, and for some reason, that was fine. Phillip smiled, and Joshua's hands moved further down as their chests met, and Josh put his weight onto Phillip and looked into his eyes. They were brimming with vulnerability and he was chewing his lips. Joshua was smirking, he looked so cute, and so pale in this lighting. Joshua felt his hands trail down into the small of his back and he finally kissed him. Hard. There was a certain sweetness about Phillip, but the way he shivered beneath Joshua's lips just proved one thing: he was all talk. Joshua moved closer to him slowly, and finally moved so he was straddling him. Phillip's arms fell behind his head and he just looked at Joshua, sitting there. His weight, his presence. Phillip had starved for this, tantalized for hours in his room alone, wondering what it might be like. Joshua smirked, and pulled his shirt off. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Josh sans shirt, but it was the first time the sight of his dark even skin made him twitch, deep in his spine. Phillip got the intoxicated expression on his face again, and Joshua leaned down, trailing his fingertips up Phillip's arms, his wrists, and finally clasping his hands. Their faces were so close, Joshua could feel Phillip's wintermint scented breath. He brushed his thumb against Phillip's jawbone, and they were kissing again. His tongue traced words in Phillip's mouth, and he used his legs to hold him still as he was squirming beneath him. Phillip's hands were trembling, and unsure, as he grabbed at Joshua's shirt, and concentrated on putting everything he had back into his relentless kiss. "I want you." The words barely made it out from under him, and Joshua was smiling again.
"Want what?" he asked, and Phillip looked away, failing to speak as Joshua's cool fingertips brushed at his hips. He wanted to stop, pull his shirt on, lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, trembling from a different sort of frustration, but it was too late to turn around now.
"I don't even know. Just you," he said. Joshua twirled the hem of Phillip's shirt, using the other to hold them steady, and Phillip couldn't move, but he rued every second he spent pulling on the pants the were obstructing their skin from touching. His hip was a thousand degrees under Joshua's somehow freezing hands. He leaned up to pull his shirt off, and Joshua tried not to shudder as he felt the mechanics of Phillip's movement beneath him. He stayed tense until he was laying there powerless, and comfortable again. He didn't bother pushing the shirt off the bed, he didn't bother doing anything but looking. A man as sexy as Phillip was always sexy, but you put a man underneath you, and he's a stranger. A fucking delicious stranger. Joshua laid his hands flat on Phillip's chest and felt him breathing, felt his heart trying to shatter his chest apart.
"That's a little fast," he chided, and when Phillip smiled, he felt more than at ease. He felt something. He did a cute one shouldered shrug.
"I'm not a slow guy," he said, and Joshua bit his lip to hold in the millionth smile of the night and he looked at the ceiling.
"You need to stop," he said, and they were laughing again. Their lips met easily this time, until Joshua put his weight on Phillip. Phillip didn't understand how someone could be so freezing against him, but so hot at the same time. He moved his mouth with purpose, and his hands with determination. He traced every rib, every muscle, carefully and meticulously, distracting himself from the high concentration of blood in the last place it really belonged. Joshua tried to ignore it, but he couldn't stop the images from playing through his mind as he tried to keep his hands at least above Phillip's stomach. That quickly failed, and he found his way down Phillip's neck again. The sound of air was all that filled his hears, and as he teased Phillip's waist with those perfect fingertips, he contemplated how it must sound when Phillip moaned. Phillip finally found a comfortable location for his hands on Joshua's lower back. It took him a second to regain his composure, but when he did, he ran his hands up Joshua's spine. He inhaled sharply. "Mh, you need to stop that too," he said, and they shared a little chuckle.
"I need to stop," Phillip repeated, and Joshua slid off him to be next to him, one leg wrapped around Phillip's, and his hand just on his stomach. The tip of his pinky was below Phillip's waistband and he was doing his best to concentrate on anything but that. He couldn't stand the way that he was on display, and the way that Joshua's sweet eyes suddenly took on a more sultry accentuation. Phillip just looked up, then shut his eyes. Joshua let his eyes roll down Phillip's body. His shoulders, his arms. He wasn't muscular, but he wasn't weak. Joshua had a silent confidence that he could overpower him if he had to, or wanted to, or.. "So, uh," Phillip licked his lips. That one sexy nervous habit Joshua would always fall victim to. "How'd you figure out you were gay?"
"I dunno." Joshua shrugged, surpised at how this question failed to cause him any discomfort. "I just never really liked girls, something about them, you know," he explained.
"Not really." Phillip looked a little more comfortable, in his own smart ass skin. Joshua loved that cocky facial expression. Boyish charm meets the cheekiness of Oscar Wilde. Phillip was just entirely unexplainable. Joshua streched, and let his hand fall back slightly lower then where it had been, Phillip's waistband swallowing up to his ring finger.
"Girls just can't really..." his voice was barely above a whisper as it trailed off, and Phillip was just distracted enough. "There's not really a word." Joshua was smiling, and Phillip was looking at him intently. "I mean," his hand slid lower, into Phillip's pants, down into his boxers, and he grasped him with enough authority that he couldn't even wince. "It just doesn't feel the same when a girl does it, you know?" Phillip's mouth was slightly open, he was poised to speak but there wasn't a coherent noise that he could make. He shut his eyes, and felt Joshua start stroking him, knew he was indulging in the expression on his face, and then their mouths met again. There was no use trying to retain his gasps as he felt Joshua's hands where his hand been so many nights, when he was shaken by curiosity, driven to put himself where he knew Joshua was taking him now. Phillip wanted to move, to react, but Joshua's touch paralyzed him, and all he could do was lay there, and try to slow his mind down enough to where he could recall every painstaking detail. Joshua's clear control just coated every nueron in Phillip's body, and he tried to focus. Joshua's thumb slipped over his frenum, and Phillip's spine arched and the first sound rattled his vocal chords in a moan. Phillip tensed, and his hand clasped tightly at Joshua's bicep, holding his arm still, and Joshua smiled against Phillip's lips, and began working his wrist. Phillip writhed, drawing his knee up. This was Joshua, this was him, this was their bodies. Phillip couldn't stop shaking, and a war waged in his arm as he tried to push Joshua's hand off of him, but couldn't stop pulling him closer. Finally, with that second flick of Joshua's thumb, Phillip groaned. Loud. Joshua bit down on Phillip's lip and gasped. Their eyes met, and Joshua stilled. He could feel Phillip's pulse through his skin. He slowly pulled his hand out of Phillip's pants, running it up his stomach. Phillip winced, slightly disgusted at the sudden presence of his own precum on his stomach. Joshua pulled him by his hips, and their bodies pressed against one another again. He didn't know where to look, he didn't know how to move. He just wanted more. He kissed Joshua this time, with a clumsy rhythm as he steadied his hands on Joshua's sides.
"Damn," he said quietly, his fingertips grazing Joshua's chest before he pushed his shoulders slightly so he was laying down, a smile taking up his entire face.
"Damn," he nodded in agreement, and pulled Phillip by his neck down to kiss him again. He entertained him slightly, then he moved, and buried his face in the crook of Joshua's neck. The way he smiled, the way his body sounded, the way his hand felt, unlike any other hand that had ever touched him there. He breathed there for a second, before planting his lips firmly on Joshua's skin. He laid his hands flat on him, and meticulously kissed and sucked at Joshua's throat. "If I have a hickey.." Joshua began, and Phillip retracted.
"Sorry," he said. His tone was almost sheepish. He put his head on Joshua's shoulder, and just kissed at his neck gently, and he put his hand atop Joshua's growing erection. His slid his thumb up and down the side of Joshua's shaft. His breathing stayed even, but it wasn't effortless. "What it's like, with a guy?" he asked, and Joshua felt a tug deep in his heart. This charismatic man, just an awkward teenage boy because of his touch.
"Good," Joshua laughed. Phillip smiled. "Just trust me." Joshua pushed Phillip onto his back and leaned over him again. He placed a soft kiss on Phillip's lip, on his clavicle, sternum, above his navel. He looked up at Phillip when he hooked his finger tip in the top of Phillip's boxers. Phillip was starting to tremble again, and nervous sweat made his skin glisten in the dim. Joshua slowly worked Phillip's pants below his knees so he could kick them off, and the his lips came in contact with Phillip's hipbone. He bit him gently, and Phillip's hand grasped a handful of the sheet and he gasped. Joshua sucked his skin hard, and relieved Phillip's straining cock from the confines of his boxers. He ran his hand up him, watching with lust as precum dribbled down his head. Joshua's tongue tentatively lapped it up, and then let his mouth engulf Phillip's head. His cock was thick, average in length, everything Joshua had hoped it would be as he moved his tongue around the flared edge of his frenum. Phillip's voice broke in an almost constant song to which the only words were
"God, fuck me, please." The words made Joshua weak, and he stroked Phillip, meeting his fist with his lips as he sucked him off. Phillip felt his sternum trembling as he tried to steady himself beneah Joshua. Joshua wanted to watch his face, but he couldn't. He shut his eyes and let sensations course through the two of them. Joshua massaged Phillip's base with his thumb, slowly moving to let Phillip slide as far down his throat as he could manage. Phillip's back arched again, and his inhaled through his teeth, through that smile. Joshua shut his eyes, swallowed, moved again. He wouldn't tell Phillip, but he'd never done this before. Joshua trailed his other hand up Phillip's stomach, and Phillip grabbed it. His let their fingers interlock, and Joshua would've smiled, but he retracted instead, letting Phillip's cock fall against his stomach. He slowly moved his tongue up and down the shaft, and Phillip whimpered audibly, but just once. Joshua stroked him lazily, watching his face.
"So..." he trailed off, not that the silence was awkward, but unwelcome. His hand ran back down Phillip's stomach, down to his thighs. The thin skin that separated Joshua's fingers from the pulsing of Phillip's femoral artery twitched beneath the soft touch. Phillip looked at him, and Joshua was smiling. Phillip looked away, blushed. That made Joshua beam.
"You're," Phillip said, and then he laughed. Joshua laughed too, and ran his thumb across Phillip's tightly stretched frenum. Phillip didn't move that time, but Joshua took it as a sign to start again. He used his tongue to trace every perfect contour of Phillip's erection. You could hear how much he was trembling with every breath. Phillip was biting his lips and running his hands over Joshua's shoulders. They were so smooth, and Phillip just couldn't stand it. Joshua felt Phillip's muscles tense again, and he moved faster, unrelenting. "St- I don't want to.." Phillip mumbled. Joshua pulled off him.
"Are you sure?" Joshua asked, and Phillip gulped as he nodded. Joshua stayed there, poised for Phillip to change his mind again.
"Yeah, I'm just not ready yet," Phillip said and Joshua nodded, pulling himself up to lay next to Phillip. He fixed his boxers and put his arms around Joshua. "Do you struggle with your sexuality? Have you?" Phillip asked, and Joshua took a deep breath.
"You're full of questions," he replied. But then he smiled when Phillip made a bashful expression. "Yeah. Of course. I think anyone who is gay does, at some point." Joshua took a deep breath, played with Phillip's hands. "I am okay with who I am, that isn't it. I'm not okay with everyone knowing." Phillip nodded.
"I don't know what I am," he said, chewing his lip and looking down. Joshua held Phillip's hand, watched his chest rise and fall, and finally he looked at him, knowing what to say.
"It doesn't matter what you are," his voice was quiet, and his stare was serious. Phillip looked at him waiting, he knew more words were coming. "You're a great person." Phillip finally smiled, and then they were kissing again. It was a deep kiss, meaningful. The one thing Joshua wanted to avoid. But he didn't dare back away. Phillip turned, putting his body on top of Joshua's. Phillip was gripping Joshua's biceps, his hands were tangled in Phillip's hair. Their lips were slowly waltzing against one another. Joshua put his leg over Phillip's. Phillip put his face in Josh's neck to kiss him there again, and he was gentle. He wanted to take Joshua somewhere else, miles away from all the stress he constantly felt. Joshua just held him as Phillip's kisses moved down his chest.
"Where do we go from here?" Phillip asked, running his hand down Joshua's body, barely touching him, making goosebumps erupt all over his perfect skin.
"I guess that's up to you," Joshua said, rubbing his back. Phillip gripped his cock firmly, and Joshua's facial expression faltered. Phillip kissed him again, continued touching him with his inexperienced hands.
"I've never been with a man," he shrugged. He tried not to feel awkward. Joshua looked at him, waiting for him to decide what he wanted. Joshua didn't know what he wanted, either. He was contented here, just here, with Phillip at all. He was so sweet, so sexy. That was good enough, every touch was more than enough. "What have you done, I mean, as far as..?"
"Well, just everything we've done. Once." Phillip moved his hand up to Joshua's chest, and looked at him. "I had this boyfriend in high school, but that was really it. We did stuff but never, you know." He shrugged. Phillip smiled. Joshua pulled him down to kiss him again, and Phillip's hand found it's way down to touch Joshua's cock again. Joshua siezed his wrist and slipped his hand into his underwear. Phillip's hand hesitated before wrapping around Joshua's cock. Phillip stroked him slowly, but his hand tightened and loosened alternately. Joshua was louder than Phillip. Small utterances of ecstasy came from his mouth, interspersed with curse words and smiles. He couldn't believe the way Phillip was making him feel. He was biting at Joshua's neck now, his movements rough. Joshua was sighing but still. "God, I need to fuck you." Joshua was breathless, his words almost incomprehensible.
"My God," Phillip muttered. He heard Joshua smile, let his stroking get rougher. Joshua felt so smooth, so pristine in comparison to Phillip's rough hands. Working hands. He looked at Josh and bit at the corner of his bottom lip. "You can," he said, and Joshua looked at him. "I mean. I want it."
"Are you sure?" Joshua asked, and Phillip felt a certain disdain at how cute he thought the expression on Josh's face was. He smiled, nodded, tugged at Joshua's cock. Joshua's eyes fluttered and he whimpered. It just felt so good. "I can't talk to you if you're going to do that," he joked. Phillip did it again, harder, running his index finger across Joshua's slit.
"Maybe I don't want you to talk," Phillip replied.
"Fuck, I need you," Joshua groaned and pulled him into another intense kiss, it felt like it lasted forever. Phillip's lips almost ached from the attention, but he never wanted to stop. The thought went through his head too soon. Their teeth hit once before Joshua bit onto Phillip's lip before he pushed him, putting his hands near his hips and making it so that he was on his back. Joshua slid Phillip's boxers off and sat between his knees.
"You're so hot," Phillip told him, and Joshua smirked, running his hands up Phillip's thighs. Phillip sucked his lips, feeling Joshua massage his chest, stomach, hips, and finally he was back at his thighs. Josh ran his finger up and down the one clear vein in Phillip's dick.
"Are you sure you're sure?" Joshua asked him again, pushing one of Phillip's knees up. Phillip nodded, and let his eyes shut as he felt Josh's hand go up his thigh. Joshua watched his body, gently rubbing every part of the inside of Phillip's legs. When he finally moved to push his finger inside Phillip, he was relaxed enough. Joshua watched Phillip bite his lips while he fingered him slowly. "Does it hurt?"
"God no." Phillip's voice was strained but Joshua believed him. He winced as he anxiously pushed a second finger into Phillip. He only smirked as he moaned. Joshua smiled.
"Tell me if it does," he warned. Phillip squirmed slightly.
"No, I want it to." Those quiet words, in that raspy voice, and that sarcastic expression on his amazing face. The way it made Joshua feel was incredible.
"Again with the making me want you," Joshua joked. Phillip shrugged.
"I guess I'm just good at it," he winked. Joshua rolled his eyes.
"God, just shut up. You always distract me," he said.
"On purpose," Phillip added. Joshua smiled more. "So, you can, you know, if you wanted to." He didn't sound nervous, but he didn't sound sure.
"You know it's going to hurt, right?" Joshua asked, and Phillip ran his left hand up Josh's right arm.
"I really want it to." His voice was void of anything but serious reassurance. Joshua licked the inside of his bottom liphe pushed Phillip's legs further apart, and pulled his fingers out. He stroked himself once, and Phillip watched. That was the one thing he'd most thought about, watching Joshua's gentle hands course over his own perfect body. It made him only want it more. "Would It be easier if I turned around?" he asked, and Josh smiled at that too. Always thinking practically.
"I want to see your face," Joshua charmed, and he pushed his underwear down some, and lined himself up, hesitating. Phillip felt the tip of his cock, was eager for Joshua to push himself inside. "I don't have, uh," he stuttered.
"Just fuck me. I want this." Phillip sounded so serious. So sexy. Joshua slowly pushed his dick into Phillip. His face contorted. Half in pain, half in pleasure, and Joshua took his time and watched. Phillip felt him hesitating. "I can take it. Please," his eyes pleaded twice as convincingly as his voice and he wasn't shaking this time. Joshua pushed harder, feeling Phillip's warmth engulf his every inch. He was tight, and it felt so good. Joshua sucked his lips and winced. He couldn't even think. Phillip pulled him by his wrists closer, and Joshua slowly began to slide out and kissed underneath Phillip's chin. Phillip's voice tremored from his throat as he moaned. Joshua loved the sound, and it didn't take long for him to lose any concern for pain. He wasn't fast, but his movements were steady, Phillip consistently moaning every time he pushed all the way in, and inhaling sharply as he drew his hips back. One of Joshua's hands toyed with Phillips hair, while the other teased the tip of his trembling cock. They were kissing. Phillip couldn't stay still or quiet, and Joshua was sure he had hickeys by now. Phillip's hands clutched at Joshua's shoulder blades, his ribs. Anything he could get ahold of. "Faster, please," he breathed.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Joshua asked, breathless himself. Phillip sucked the skin covering his clavicle.
"No, I love it. I want it faster," he said, and Joshua kissed him hungrily as he sped up. Their lips broke, and Joshua leaned back so he was upright, fucking Phillip harder, faster, deeper. He pulled Phillip's legs up around him, and gripped the backs of Phillip's thighs. Phillip's eyes were wet, and his teeth were clenched. His eyes rolled back and he pulled a pillow over his face to muffle his screams. Joshua was breathing hard, whining occassionally, but mostly silent trying to remember every note that Phillip hit. "Don't stop," he mumbled, one hand still pressing the light grey pillow into his face, and the other flew to his cock. He masturbated with no hesitation, fast, faster than Joshua's thrusts.
"Are you close?" he asked, slowing down slightly. Phillip didn't say anything, but he nodded vehemently. Joshua leaned down and pulled the pillow away. Phillip groped for words.
"I'm gonna scream," he uttered.
"I know." Joshua covered his mouth with his hand and stared intently at him. He leaned slightly to the side, pressing deeper before picking up speed again. He couldn't decide if he wanted to watch Phillip's hands move with familiarity as he fisted himself, or his delicious face when he came. He didn't think about it, just rolled his hips a little more, and listened to the muffled sound of Phillip moaning his name. Joshua bit his lip, and felt Phillip's body tense under him. "Come on, baby, cum for me," he said, and felt Phillip smile against his palm. Phillip was shaking harder, and his moans gave way to the sexiest, most hedonistic sounds of desperation, and finally, nirvana. Joshua felt it. Phillip's muscles tightened mercilessly around his cock, and he felt warm cum coating is stomach. "Mmmmh," it was a low sound, and it was just the right decibel to make Phillip writhe. Joshua's breath caught. "Tell me.. if you need me to.. stop for a second," Joshua slurred between breaths.
"No, I want you to finish," Phillip corrected, sliding his arms around Joshua, who'd slowed down. Joshua kissed him for a long time, slowly and passionately. Phillip felt weak underneath him, just holding him. It felt nice. When he finally climaxed, he flexed his legs, trying to slow down the sensation. He moaned into Phillips shoulder as he sucked. Phillip felt it filling him, and it made him gasp. A few sloppy thrusts punctuated his climax, and then Joshua pulled out, fixed his boxer-briefs, and laid next to Phillip. That's when it started to hurt, he winced as moved to grab his boxers off the floor and pull them on; then he laid on his back. Joshua kissed the corner of his mouth, then Phillip turned so they could kiss. Every part of Phillip was fillled with a dull aching. Joshua slowly rubbed his stomach, smiling at his attempts to let his breath catch up to him. "You know if I sleep in here..."
"I don't care," Joshua smiled, and Phillip did too.
"Good, I couldn't even pretend to move," he said. Joshua giggled, kissed the corner of his mouth again. Phillip rolled over on his side, facing away from Joshua.
"We have a show tomorrow," Joshua reminded him.
"What show?" Phillip asked. So adorable. Joshua moved closer to him, put his hand on Phillip's side.
"You know the one-" he began but Phillip cut him off with a long 'shhhh'. Phillip pulled Joshua's arm around him, and didn't let go of his hand. Joshua's thumb made small circles on Phillip's chest, and he listened to his breathing long after it steadied with the rhythm of sleep.