Confusion; The Letter

I'm applying to start a job that will take me out of state. So, with nothing to lose, I wrote this to give to my best friend, the man I'm so in love with, who I believe is the one. Things are complicated between us, we used to date, act like we still are, spend entire weekends together and almost every day of the week together. We decided now probably isn't the best time for us to be dating, sometimes I'm almost convinced I'm happy with that decision and I know I'm that psycho ex girlfriend, but whatever, here's the letter.