Status: One shot. Fin.
Confusion; The Letter
Here's a letter for you.
(Insert nickname),
I don't know if there's anything that I can write to you that you don't already know. You're my best friend and when I'm gone, I know that out of everyone that I'm leaving behind, I'm going to miss you the most. I'm going to be completely honest with a few things, seeing there is no real harm now that I'm leaving. I only hope you don't hate me for it.
(Insert first name), I wake up every morning and tell myself that I don't mind, that I'm okay with the fact that we're not together, but that's bullshit, knowing that you're no longer mine and some other girl can hug, kiss and sleep with you, whether you do or don't, kills me inside. Pretending it doesn't and making those jokes about you having a new girlfriend is my way of coping I guess. It doesn't really work but I don't know what else to do.
I'd love to not wake up and immediately wonder what you're up to, to not constantly care and worry about you and not pick up on all the little things, to be honest that would be great, but its not going to happen. You're my best friend and I love you and even though you don't feel the same way, you're the only person I want to be with. Though I bet you're just glad to be rid of your psycho, clingy ex girlfriend, hey :)
Part of me hopes that when I leave, you'll realise you love me and breaking up was a mistake, but deep down I know that won't happen, so I tell myself that I'll stop feeling so strongly about you even though I know I'm lying to myself, I love you too much to be capable of stopping.
Just for the record, Mumma doesn't hate you, she just hates the fact that I get off the phone to you at night and I'm nearly in tears because I'm so confused. You confuse me (insert first and last name), I don't understand what you want from me and I don't think that I ever will. One minute you act like we're still together and the next I feel as if I could easily be a guy. It confuses me and sometimes I hate myself for loving you so god damn much.
None of this is me saying that loving you as much and as unconditionally as I do is a mistake, I'm glad I'm so in love with you, I only wish you felt the same.
Honestly I hope you can find someone who loves you as much as I do, someone you can be happy with and love in return, cause I have to come to terms with the fact that it probably won't be me.
Anyway I hope you find happiness with someone and that somehow we remain friends, even after this god awful, sob story, pathetic mess of a letter. I love you (insert full name) and no matter what does happen in the future, I'll always be YOUR Angel.
Love Jessica xxx
I don't know if there's anything that I can write to you that you don't already know. You're my best friend and when I'm gone, I know that out of everyone that I'm leaving behind, I'm going to miss you the most. I'm going to be completely honest with a few things, seeing there is no real harm now that I'm leaving. I only hope you don't hate me for it.
(Insert first name), I wake up every morning and tell myself that I don't mind, that I'm okay with the fact that we're not together, but that's bullshit, knowing that you're no longer mine and some other girl can hug, kiss and sleep with you, whether you do or don't, kills me inside. Pretending it doesn't and making those jokes about you having a new girlfriend is my way of coping I guess. It doesn't really work but I don't know what else to do.
I'd love to not wake up and immediately wonder what you're up to, to not constantly care and worry about you and not pick up on all the little things, to be honest that would be great, but its not going to happen. You're my best friend and I love you and even though you don't feel the same way, you're the only person I want to be with. Though I bet you're just glad to be rid of your psycho, clingy ex girlfriend, hey :)
Part of me hopes that when I leave, you'll realise you love me and breaking up was a mistake, but deep down I know that won't happen, so I tell myself that I'll stop feeling so strongly about you even though I know I'm lying to myself, I love you too much to be capable of stopping.
Just for the record, Mumma doesn't hate you, she just hates the fact that I get off the phone to you at night and I'm nearly in tears because I'm so confused. You confuse me (insert first and last name), I don't understand what you want from me and I don't think that I ever will. One minute you act like we're still together and the next I feel as if I could easily be a guy. It confuses me and sometimes I hate myself for loving you so god damn much.
None of this is me saying that loving you as much and as unconditionally as I do is a mistake, I'm glad I'm so in love with you, I only wish you felt the same.
Honestly I hope you can find someone who loves you as much as I do, someone you can be happy with and love in return, cause I have to come to terms with the fact that it probably won't be me.
Anyway I hope you find happiness with someone and that somehow we remain friends, even after this god awful, sob story, pathetic mess of a letter. I love you (insert full name) and no matter what does happen in the future, I'll always be YOUR Angel.
Love Jessica xxx
♠ ♠ ♠
So there it is, I'll be giving him this or something like this the day I leave the state. Have your fun and comment and such if you wish :)