Status: Finished (short story)
How I Got Here
How I Got Here
How did I get here? I asked myself. That was, of course, a dumb question. I got here by conveying my ongoing enthusiasm for this confidence course-based adventure camp located in the state of New Jersey and run by my uncle, Keith.
And look where that landed me. Number one on the list of climbers. I tilted my head back tentatively, almost refusing to let myself look up at the challenge I was about to face. The climbing wall was an enormous fifty feet tall and threateningly towered over me, leaving me feeling small and powerless.
A wave of nausea washed over my body, which angered me because I’m an avid emetophobic and refuse to let myself feel sick. Especially in a situation like this.
“Ready?” Rob asked me, an annoyingly caring look plastered onto his face.
No, I thought, but somehow, I found myself nodding my head.
“Remember the commands?”
My smart reply was: “Uh…”
“Harness,” he reminded me. “Spotters. Climb?”
At the time, I had interpreted those remarks as a big jumble of nonsense. Which I can’t really be blamed for.
“Um… what?”
“Your commands,” he sighed.
“Er…” I could feel my hair getting damp with sweat, pressed under the scorching heat of the sun and intensified by the pressure of my dark blue helmet. Rob nudged me and mouthed the word harness. “Harness?” It came out as a question.
Mark, who was working the complicated system of rough ropes also referred to as a “harness”, gave me a thumbs up sign, I felt a lot safer, about to climb that climbing wall, when the harness was completely attached to me.
“Spotters,” I mumbled, my voice barely audible.
“Ready,” responded my spotters, Victoria and Sophie, flatly and in unison.
I turned to Rob, knowing exactly what my last command was. “C-climb?”
“Climb away,” Rob replied.
How did I get here? I dove deeper into my intellect. That couldn’t be the only reason I was here, right? Not just the camp. It could very easily be fate, too – deciding that I would end up climbing several stories up an ancient climbing wall.
I lifted my hand, and my fingers gently curled around the edges of the first nook in the wood. I pulled myself up about a foot. Mira [Last Name], what on earth are you doing? I scolded myself, but I managed to pull farther. By the time I was a few yards away, Rob ushered Victoria and Sophie away, and I couldn’t help but whisper “Don’t go!” even though they obviously could not hear me.
“Doing good!” Rob called up to me.
“Don’t look down!” advised Jena Rae.
Of course, on instinct, as soon as she said that, I looked down. I knew I could rely completely on the harness, but seeing everyone so small beneath me and seeing how much of the wall was left to climb, I felt a bit nervous – even a bit homesick. I shook the feeling away and continued my climb.
By the time I was about halfway up, though, I faced another challenge. The Gap. The one and only Gap between nooks on the whole wall changed everything. There was no way in the million years that I’d ever manage to climb that. It was just too far. I’d fall. I’d blister my hands.
“I want to come down!” I shouted, another wave of nausea sweeping over me.
“Hmm…?” Rob mused.
“I need to come down!” I translated.
I heard a chorus of assorted voices beneath me. Their wails were along the lines of: “No! You’ve gone too far!” and “You can’t go down now!” and “But you’re so close!”
“Are you sure you want to come down?” Rob pondered. “If you go down, you can’t go back up.”
Gripping the wall with all of my might, I found the courage to close my eyes, and I travelled back a few months.
I had been on a flying trapeze. At the edge of the platform, for my first time, as I was about to jump into the air and risk my life on the strength of a harness. I was afraid, knowing I’d be doing a knee hang, I didn’t want to jump off the platform.
The thing is, though… I did.
I opened my eyes and met Rob’s. You can do it, don’t give up, his eyes seemed to plead.
“No, I’m not sure. I-I… I think I’ll keep going.”
A cheer rippled through the crowd of people eagerly waiting for me to finish my climb. I saw a smile explode onto Rob’s face.
Using all of my upper body strength, I reached up to the first nook above the Gap and grasped it tightly. I carefully pulled myself up, and before I knew it, the Gap was history.
“Go Mira!” I heard Jena Rae shout enthusiastically from below me. The Head of my Village… she had just yelled my name. My name. I felt compelled to climb further now, there was absolutely no way I could give up on myself.
It struck me as a surprise, however, when I realized I was only feet away from the top of the climbing wall. I, Mira [Last Name], was about to conquer Camp Ocky’s fifty foot climbing wall. I dared myself to look down again, finding my face almost breaking into a smile at how tiny the other Algonquins looked below me.
With one final burst of energy and strength, I raised my body over the edge of the climbing wall and carefully grabbed on to the top. I turned around and sat proudly on the top of the climbing wall, feeling my face being engulfed by a wavering smile. I had made it.
“The bell!” I heard Rob shout. “Ring the bell!”
That drew my attention to the rusted old bell at attached by a strand of old string to the top of the wall and I happily rang it. That slightly muffled, quiet sound rang in my ears seemingly forever; the pride in myself I experienced from having reached the top of the wall was quite overwhelming.
“You did it!”
The cries of my excited/terrified/amazed friends from the Algonquin Village brought a smile to my face. I looked down at Rob, who slightly resembled a gnat with blond hair from the great height and power I seemed to possess. “How do I get down?” The worry I had felt in my voice when I had begun had vanished; now curiosity had overcome me.
“You need to let go. I’ll lower you down,” Rob explained.
“Let go?” I squealed, penetrating him with a loathing glare.
“Trust me,” he said calmly.
I nodded halfheartedly and slowly removed my hands from the wall. I slipped off the edge and let out a shriek of mixed emotions – surprise, pleasure, anger – as the harness caught me sharply, the rope cutting fiercely into my legs. I was alive, though, and that’s all that mattered to me.
Rob smiled at my shocked expression. “That’s how they all react,” he assured me. He carefully and slowly lowered me to the ground, and when my feet met the ground, an infectious grin spread across the faces of everyone in the Village. I knew it was fun; they knew it was safe; we were all happy.
Izzy, the second person on the list of climbers, hurriedly rushed over to me, looking excited and petrified at the same time. “How-was-it?” she slurred. “Was-it-scary? Was-it-hard?”
I met her piercing electric blue eyes and an array of possibilities ran through my mind. Yes, I could say, it was impossibly hard. Hard enough make an experienced climber who is emetophobic want to barf. But that wasn’t true. Not entirely, anyway. Some of the scarier moments flashed through my mind like photographs, but I shook them away. Hard, but not impossible. I was completely safe, attached to a coarse rope running through the heart of my protection: the harness. Finally, I responded with the very last words I’d expected to blurt out in this scenario. “No, Izzy, it wasn’t hard at all.” It was amazing, I thought, surprising myself. And for once in a lifetime, I believed it.
How did I get here? I asked myself a final time. I got here because I am a free person, and this is what I love.
THE END
And look where that landed me. Number one on the list of climbers. I tilted my head back tentatively, almost refusing to let myself look up at the challenge I was about to face. The climbing wall was an enormous fifty feet tall and threateningly towered over me, leaving me feeling small and powerless.
A wave of nausea washed over my body, which angered me because I’m an avid emetophobic and refuse to let myself feel sick. Especially in a situation like this.
“Ready?” Rob asked me, an annoyingly caring look plastered onto his face.
No, I thought, but somehow, I found myself nodding my head.
“Remember the commands?”
My smart reply was: “Uh…”
“Harness,” he reminded me. “Spotters. Climb?”
At the time, I had interpreted those remarks as a big jumble of nonsense. Which I can’t really be blamed for.
“Um… what?”
“Your commands,” he sighed.
“Er…” I could feel my hair getting damp with sweat, pressed under the scorching heat of the sun and intensified by the pressure of my dark blue helmet. Rob nudged me and mouthed the word harness. “Harness?” It came out as a question.
Mark, who was working the complicated system of rough ropes also referred to as a “harness”, gave me a thumbs up sign, I felt a lot safer, about to climb that climbing wall, when the harness was completely attached to me.
“Spotters,” I mumbled, my voice barely audible.
“Ready,” responded my spotters, Victoria and Sophie, flatly and in unison.
I turned to Rob, knowing exactly what my last command was. “C-climb?”
“Climb away,” Rob replied.
How did I get here? I dove deeper into my intellect. That couldn’t be the only reason I was here, right? Not just the camp. It could very easily be fate, too – deciding that I would end up climbing several stories up an ancient climbing wall.
I lifted my hand, and my fingers gently curled around the edges of the first nook in the wood. I pulled myself up about a foot. Mira [Last Name], what on earth are you doing? I scolded myself, but I managed to pull farther. By the time I was a few yards away, Rob ushered Victoria and Sophie away, and I couldn’t help but whisper “Don’t go!” even though they obviously could not hear me.
“Doing good!” Rob called up to me.
“Don’t look down!” advised Jena Rae.
Of course, on instinct, as soon as she said that, I looked down. I knew I could rely completely on the harness, but seeing everyone so small beneath me and seeing how much of the wall was left to climb, I felt a bit nervous – even a bit homesick. I shook the feeling away and continued my climb.
By the time I was about halfway up, though, I faced another challenge. The Gap. The one and only Gap between nooks on the whole wall changed everything. There was no way in the million years that I’d ever manage to climb that. It was just too far. I’d fall. I’d blister my hands.
“I want to come down!” I shouted, another wave of nausea sweeping over me.
“Hmm…?” Rob mused.
“I need to come down!” I translated.
I heard a chorus of assorted voices beneath me. Their wails were along the lines of: “No! You’ve gone too far!” and “You can’t go down now!” and “But you’re so close!”
“Are you sure you want to come down?” Rob pondered. “If you go down, you can’t go back up.”
Gripping the wall with all of my might, I found the courage to close my eyes, and I travelled back a few months.
I had been on a flying trapeze. At the edge of the platform, for my first time, as I was about to jump into the air and risk my life on the strength of a harness. I was afraid, knowing I’d be doing a knee hang, I didn’t want to jump off the platform.
The thing is, though… I did.
I opened my eyes and met Rob’s. You can do it, don’t give up, his eyes seemed to plead.
“No, I’m not sure. I-I… I think I’ll keep going.”
A cheer rippled through the crowd of people eagerly waiting for me to finish my climb. I saw a smile explode onto Rob’s face.
Using all of my upper body strength, I reached up to the first nook above the Gap and grasped it tightly. I carefully pulled myself up, and before I knew it, the Gap was history.
“Go Mira!” I heard Jena Rae shout enthusiastically from below me. The Head of my Village… she had just yelled my name. My name. I felt compelled to climb further now, there was absolutely no way I could give up on myself.
It struck me as a surprise, however, when I realized I was only feet away from the top of the climbing wall. I, Mira [Last Name], was about to conquer Camp Ocky’s fifty foot climbing wall. I dared myself to look down again, finding my face almost breaking into a smile at how tiny the other Algonquins looked below me.
With one final burst of energy and strength, I raised my body over the edge of the climbing wall and carefully grabbed on to the top. I turned around and sat proudly on the top of the climbing wall, feeling my face being engulfed by a wavering smile. I had made it.
“The bell!” I heard Rob shout. “Ring the bell!”
That drew my attention to the rusted old bell at attached by a strand of old string to the top of the wall and I happily rang it. That slightly muffled, quiet sound rang in my ears seemingly forever; the pride in myself I experienced from having reached the top of the wall was quite overwhelming.
“You did it!”
The cries of my excited/terrified/amazed friends from the Algonquin Village brought a smile to my face. I looked down at Rob, who slightly resembled a gnat with blond hair from the great height and power I seemed to possess. “How do I get down?” The worry I had felt in my voice when I had begun had vanished; now curiosity had overcome me.
“You need to let go. I’ll lower you down,” Rob explained.
“Let go?” I squealed, penetrating him with a loathing glare.
“Trust me,” he said calmly.
I nodded halfheartedly and slowly removed my hands from the wall. I slipped off the edge and let out a shriek of mixed emotions – surprise, pleasure, anger – as the harness caught me sharply, the rope cutting fiercely into my legs. I was alive, though, and that’s all that mattered to me.
Rob smiled at my shocked expression. “That’s how they all react,” he assured me. He carefully and slowly lowered me to the ground, and when my feet met the ground, an infectious grin spread across the faces of everyone in the Village. I knew it was fun; they knew it was safe; we were all happy.
Izzy, the second person on the list of climbers, hurriedly rushed over to me, looking excited and petrified at the same time. “How-was-it?” she slurred. “Was-it-scary? Was-it-hard?”
I met her piercing electric blue eyes and an array of possibilities ran through my mind. Yes, I could say, it was impossibly hard. Hard enough make an experienced climber who is emetophobic want to barf. But that wasn’t true. Not entirely, anyway. Some of the scarier moments flashed through my mind like photographs, but I shook them away. Hard, but not impossible. I was completely safe, attached to a coarse rope running through the heart of my protection: the harness. Finally, I responded with the very last words I’d expected to blurt out in this scenario. “No, Izzy, it wasn’t hard at all.” It was amazing, I thought, surprising myself. And for once in a lifetime, I believed it.
How did I get here? I asked myself a final time. I got here because I am a free person, and this is what I love.
THE END