Heartbeat

The alarm shrilled throughout the house, it continued until a tattooed hand slammed down on the clock, silencing clock. Brian made no move to get off the bed, the sheets tangled around his clothes that he wore the night before. His head throbbed from the alcohol that he consumed the night before and his breathe had a bad after taster that made his stomach churn. His eyes squinted as the sun’s ray peeked through the curtains, making his eyes water from the sudden brightness. Brian used the pillow that Michelle uses to sleep with and covered his face hoping to block out the sun.

It’s been almost two weeks since Zacky told Brian that the donor recipient for Michelle’s new heart. It was crushing news when Brian found out that Emily died three days ago and he was just learning that his best friend died just two days ago from talking to her. He felt like shit because all this time he was angry that Emily wasn’t there when Michelle got the news that she was getting a new healthy heart. Finding out how she died broke his heart even more; apparently from Val told him Emily did so to the animal shelter down in Long Beach to help with the some of the people she knew restore the vet shop. On her way back she encountered a car that was flipped carrying two people and having the heart of gold, she called for help and tried to reassure the people pinned inside the car that help was on the way. Unfortunately due to the mist that cultivates during the evening has made eye sight poorly and an oncoming black SUV didn’t see Emily and the others until the last minute.

The ambulance arrived minutes after the impact, they arrived too late. Emily died on impact while the other two died three hours after arriving at the hospital. The driver got away with a broken femur and a collapsed lung but at least he was still alive despite the three that didn’t make it. For days Brian emotionally beat himself up for not being able to spend more time with Emily like he use; he was going make it up for her when the weekend but now that’s not going to happen ever again. During days followed Michelle surgery, Brian began a downward spiral, drinking until he passed out and temper got the worse of him. So his parents and Michelle thought it is best if she stayed with her parents because she was still recovering from a major surgery and Brian suffering from the loss of a longtime friend was not good for Michelle especially his attitude that tend to change drastically.

And now that the papers were out of the way, it was time to put Emily to rest something that Brian didn’t want to do but he had to. That explains why he got so wasted the night before, hoping that he could skip out of Emily’s funeral but he knew his family and friends would just drag his ass out of bed and force him to go. Knowing Jimmy, Brian calculated that he would have at least an hour before his crazy best friend comes barreling in his house to come pick him up. He would drive himself but his friends thought otherwise and Jimmy volunteered to chuffer Brian around until he is up on his feet again. Though Brian thought he would never be able to fully back on his feet again, not after losing one of closest friends forever.

It took Brian forty minutes to jump in the shower, scrub his body until he saw fit was clean enough, and then put on the clothes that his step-mother laid out for him before she left the other day. Looking in the mirror, Brian thought what Emily would say if she ever saw him dressed like this. Though he knew what she would say, that he looked like Bruce Wayne but in a darker appearance. That was what Brian liked about Emily, she had an imagination that everyone mostly loses when they grow up but she still retains that inner child in her. Brian didn’t both to fix hi hair like he use instead he got a comb and brushed it back until it stayed in place.

Brian heard his front door open, he was half expecting Jimmy to slam open the door but instead Jimmy opened it instead so Brian knew that Jimmy is in great as him because his hyperness seems to be toned down for the day. Brian was deep thought when his bedroom door revealing Jimmy in an outfit that would have left Emily screaming likes a fan girl. Jimmy’s outfit was almost the same as his but instead of a black dress shirt it was white and he had a red neck tie that was horribly tied by Jimmy.

“You ready dude?” Jimmy asked. “Leana’s waiting in the car.”

“No but I guess it doesn’t matter.” Brian made sure to grab his sunglasses so he could hide the dark circles that appeared underneath his eyes, including the redness that Jimmy could clearly see.

The ride was silent on the way over, Brian keeping himself distracted by looking out the car window, seeing the outside world flash pass his eyes. The closer they got to church to more his stomach being to tighten with pain and nausea. Finally after what it seems to be a lifetime which was actually thirty minutes, the three of them arrived at the Church where the parking lot was filled with numerous vehicle and people. Getting out of the car, Brian didn’t wait for Jimmy or Leana; instead he made his way toward the church ignoring those that tried to greet him. Once inside, Brian bypassed many of the relatives and friends, slowing down as he got closer to the white casket that held his best friend.

When he was about five feet away, everything seemed to fall away, the people and clattered just died away as he got closer. His heartbeat felt like it was in his throat as he stared at what was his best friend, laying inside the casket wearing her favorite purple shirt that she got when she went tour with them back in 2005. Just looking at her, it looked as if she was sleeping instead of being gone but Brian knew better. He noticed a bag of jellybeans on her left side, her black i-pod near her head. Brian always nagged her why she didn’t upgrade to better one but her respond was that the classic was way better then then news and improved techno gear. A hand landed on his shoulder bringing him back to real time. Turning his gaze away from the body in front of him, he sees Gary standing there in a dark grey suit, his eye red from crying. Emily wasn’t another mouth to find, he felt that Emily was another daughter the loved and helped raised to be the woman she was before the accident.

“Hey, how are holding up son?” Gary asked his voice hoarse from the crying these past few days.

“I don’t know, honestly. I think I’m still in shock but seeing her right now just makes things so fucking real.” Brian ignored the older woman that gave him a disapproving look as she pasted by him and Gary. All of a sudden noticed how close everyone was getting; he began to feel like he couldn’t breathe around so many people in the same area.

Excusing himself, Brian quickly made his way to the side door of the Church, ignoring the looks he was getting from the people he pushed out of his way. Once outside Brian made his way until he was alone and he could breathe again. Slouching on the stone bench, Brian took a few minutes to calm down. Seeing her like that, knowing that his nightmare is real is a knife to his heart that keep twisting no matter how much pain he was feeling physically and emotionally.

“Are you okay?” a small feminine child voice sounded behind him.

All thoughts passing through Brian’s head vanished once he heard the melodic child voice. Twisting his body to his right, Brian was astonished to see a young girl dressed in a blue floral dress that reached her knees, sandals that were white with a plastic sunflower on top of the laces. What got to him more was the color of her eyes and hair, they were similar to Emily’s eyes though the little girl’s was lighter brown instead of the darker brown Brian was used to seeing.

“Hellllooo? Are you okay?” The little girl said with a huff, her cheeks puffing out while her dark brown eyes narrowed in what seemed to be a mock irritation. Brian blinked away any tears not wanting to look weak in front of a little girl before turning his attention back to the little girl.

“Yeah, just a little bit overwhelm right now.” Brian twisted his body until he was facing the little girl that seemed to strangely remind him of someone. “What are you doing here alone; shouldn’t you be with your parents?”

“It too boring waiting for my parents and my brother so I decided to have a little adventure.” She puffed her cheeks out to show her annoyance which caused Brian to crack a small smile. “Besides I saw you run out of the Church and thought you were bored too so I followed you!”

“So why do you look so sad? Did your best friend die?” The little girl sat next to him, his body dwarfed hers but still from a distance you would think they were father and daughter.

“How would you know that I look sad?” Brian questioned the little girl, trying to mask his pain.

“I can see it in your eyes. My grandpa had the same eyes when my grandma died and joined the angels.” Brian was surprised at the level of intelligence she showed despite her age.

“I lost my best friend that I’ve known since I was a snot nose kid and the bitter reality is that she died but then she also saved the love of my life. To make things worse, I was going to see her and reconnect because we haven’t been hanging out much like before.” Brian stopped to stop from becoming a blubbering idiot in front of a little girl. “I’ve been…I’ve been pushing everyone away, acting like a total jerk especially my girlfriend. Both my parents and hers didn’t want any stress on her so she’s staying with her parents until I get my act together.”

The little girl didn’t say anything after Brian finished talking, her legs gently swinging back and forth because of her small statue. They both sat in silence, Brian exhausted from holding up the weight that settled on his chest while the little girl sat beside him. To Brian’s surprise, the mysterious little girl stood up in the stone bench and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. Brian sat there in shock for a few seconds before returning the hug. Despite everyone’s comfort, trying to get him to talk or saying their condolences; yet this one hug from this unknown yet familiar has made everything calm. No words were spoken at all for the little girl.

“Jellybean, it’s time to go!”

Brian pulled away to see a man standing by the trees that were at thirty feet away standing next to him was his wife and son. The little girl whispered something in Brian’s ear that he didn’t fully here before she placed a chaste kiss on his scruffy cheek and letting him go to join the man that called her.

“What I didn’t get your name.” Brian’s voice trailed off as he watched the little girl run toward what he thought was her family, watching her get scooped up by her father and placing her on his shoulders before walking away. Brian narrowed his eyes, deep in his gut he knew he saw that man somewhere but with things going now he couldn’t place him.

“Hey dude.” Brian blinked his eyes before turning toward the person that spoke to him which turned out to be Jimmy. “The service is about to start.”

Brian didn’t anything to Jimmy though he patted Jimmy’s shoulder and gave him a small grin that wasn’t painful or forced. Jimmy followed Brian back with a surprised look, seeing Brian do a one eighty all sudden has got him a bit worried but at the same time Jimmy was relieved that Brian didn’t give him the cold shoulder.