Cry

Sophie and Arianna carried heavy boxes and waited in the elevator to reach the floor of her new apartment. They spent a great deal of the morning packing, and now most of the afternoon going up and down the elevator with boxes. The good thing was that Jimmy was helping along with Johnny. It was good for Sophie to be with her friends. She had their support and without them she didn’t know where she would be. With the heavy boxes, Sophie and Arianna got to the apartment. Johnny and Jimmy were done carrying the heavy stuff like the furniture and the mattress. They were in the kitchen sitting on the island chairs with beers in their hands.

“Thanks for the help, jackasses,” Arianna spat at them. “Leave the heavy shit for the women.”

“Hey, you try carrying a mattress with a gnome as your support,” Jimmy said and got off and got the box Sophie was carrying. “I got it, doll,” he winked at her. Sophie sighed and then went to the box that was on the dining area. She started to talk out the things she had. It was mostly old pictures of her friends and family. She set them on the table.

The guys left shortly after. She gave them a big hug and a peck on the cheek. She missed them terribly. She had been holed up in Arianna’s and Matt’s place. She barely hung out with them. They tried to get her to go out, but she didn’t want to. They didn’t pressure her. Sophie went back to the box with pictures and Arianna was in the kitchen with the box of plates. They were new plates, cups, mugs and stuff. She would have to go buy groceries too. There was so much to do.

It would take a couple of days to get settled in. Sophie took out an album, and then a photo fell out. She picked it up, and the breath left her lungs rather quickly. She used a chair to steady herself. The picture was a really old one. It was even before she got together with Brian. It was during their teenage years in high school. He forcefully pulled her in to kiss her on the cheek. Her face was scrunched up, but she had a smile on her lips. Pain hit her, and her hands shook. She tore the picture down the middle.

She crumbled up Brian’s side and threw it across the room.

“What is it?” Arianna asked.

Sophie was still worked up from seeing Brian yesterday.

“I just hate him so much, Ari!” Sophie shouted. “I hate him for making me so dependent on him. I hate that he was my first everything and then he went did that!”

Sophie went over to the living room area and sat down on the couch with her hands over her eyes. Her makeup would be ruined, but she didn’t really care. Her shoulders shook as she cried, and then Arianna was there for her. Sophie hated feeling like this. She hated that all those years were gone. How could he throw away everything they had for someone he barely knew? What she hated the most was that she knew that because he did throw everything away for a stranger that he loved her. It truly hurt her that she wasted her life on him.

“He was my everything, Arianna,” Sophie sobbed. “I really think I should have fought for him. I shouldn’t have given in so easily. Amanda doesn’t know him like I do, but I can’t bring myself to hate her. I hate him because he was the one who hurt me the most.”

“I hate him too, Sophie, but this happened for a reason. I could already tell there was something going on with you and Brian. Maybe this is for the best. You’re still young. You can still meet another guy, someone better. You get to experience being single for a while. You and Brian have been together for so long, and I think it’ll do you some good to go out and meet new people.”

“You’re right,” Sophie agreed and wiped off the tears with her fingers. “I’m still young. Only twenty-six. twenty-six is the new twenty, right?”

“Exactly!” Arianna laughed. “We should go somewhere next weekend. We can go to the new club.”

“We should. We can go shopping a day before,” Sophie felt slightly better. Spending time with her best friend always helped.

“I’ve been eyeing this new dress over at the mall. It’s so cute!” then Arianna gasped. “I saw the perfect dress for you too now that I think about it.”

Sophie grinned and the nodded her head. “We should totally go. Now that I’m single. I want to buy myself a new ‘toy’.”

“AH! Did you know James Deen is having his dick molded and being made into a dildo?”

Sophie laughed. “You would know about that. I don’t get it. You have Matt whose sexual appetite is insatiable and yet you still watch porn.”

“We both watch porn,” her friend shrugged. “It’s our thing. We fuck to porn.”

“Gross, Ari! I didn’t need to know that.”

“Come on, we’ve been friends forever. Why be shy all of a sudden?” Then she said she had to use the bathroom. She left, and she went to check her phone for any missed calls from her lawyer or her family. She had a missed call from Brian and he left a voicemail. She should probably listen to it before Arianna got back. Knowing her she would erase the message before Sophie got to listen to it. She listened to the voicemail. He asked when they could meet up so she can have Pinkly for the weekend if it was okay if Amanda could be his date for Matt’s parents’ anniversary party.

She looked at her phone in disbelief. Did he just really ask her if he could take his mistress to a family event? Was he so dense? Was he so busy getting laid all the time that he’s not thinking straight? She closed my eyes and tried to think of the times she had done so much for him. She didn’t want to be made out to be some sort of mat he stepped on every time, but she did things out of love. She loved him so much.

[Four Years Ago]

Sophie couldn’t drop the smile on her lips as she continued to talk on the phone. It was a huge job offer in New York. Sophie was asked what her strength and weaknesses were. She always had trouble with that question, but she had been practicing with Arianna for the past three weeks for interviews. It was good it was over the phone instead of in person. She refrained from using ‘uh’ and ‘um’. It was unprofessional to use it many times. Then she was asked a couple of other questions. She pushed aside her wedding planner to write down the information the owner of a gallery was giving her. She ended a call with a thank you.

She squealed in delight. The job would be so perfect except it was in New York and she lived across the country in California with her fiancée. She looked down at the open binder that had her wedding plans. She would have to talk to Brian about her offer. It was a great opportunity. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if she declined it, but she always wanted to visit New York. Her busy school schedule never allowed her to do so.

Sophie looked at the time. Brian should be back by now. It was almost dinner and he said he was going to stop by for food. Their small apartment was big enough for them. He was going to go on a tour soon, so instead of enjoying her summer after graduating; she was busy planning a quick wedding. He proposed to her a few months ago, and they both agreed to make it a quick wedding.

Brian walked through the door of the small apartment he shared with his fiancée. He was so damn happy that his life was going in the right direction. The band was doing well. The new album was going to hit the stores soon, and they were going to be touring to promote it. It was the second album and this time Brian was involved in the process. He loved what he did. The band was going to tour with Warped Tour in a few weeks.

He saw his fiancée on the coffee table with the wedding plans out and he smiled at her. She smiled back and he went to the small table that was their dining area. He placed the bags down and joined Sophie. She held out pictures of flowers.

“Which would be best? Lilies or orchids?” she asked him.

Brian looked confused. “They look the same… which one is cheaper?”

Sophie gave him a face. “They do not look the same. They are totally different flowers, Bri!”

He shrugged. “Whatever, as long as we’re married.”

She smiled, but shook her head. She cleared off the coffee table so they watch TV and eat. She asked about his day, not wanting to bring up the job offer yet. Brian went on to explain some of the troubles he had with dealing with the record company Hopeless. They were thinking of trying to go to another label that wouldn’t pressure them to do a certain kind of sound. Sophie remembered Matt telling her that he wanted to try more singing in the next album.

“What you need is a better manager,” Sophie said.

“We do,” he agreed. “How is the wedding plans going? You think you’ll have everything by the end of August?”

“Yes. Arianna is helping out a lot, so it’s going well,” Sophie told him. This would be perfect to bring up the job offer. He was going to be touring for months, so she could do the job while he was away. She could get a small place in New York. She thought about it and then decided to wait more. She needed a day to think over things.

The next morning Brian was looking for his keys because he had to go back to the studio to make sure the mixing was going well. He looked all over the apartment. He lifted the wedding planner binder and saw a notebook with Sophie’s writing. It was information about some job in New York. She had written down addresses and phone numbers. His heart stopped. Was she going to break up with him to go to New York?

At the moment Sophie was walking of the their room rubbing her eyes. He picked up the notebook and held it out to her. She blinked a few times and then she realized what it was.

“Oh,” she said softly.

“Oh?” Brian wondered. “That’s all?”

“It’s just a job offer, Brian,” she shrugged.

“In New York, did you accept it?”

Sophie wrapped her arms around her waist. “Not yet.”

“Yet?” Brian didn’t want her to leave. “Are you… breaking up with me?”

“Why would I do that? Brian… look…” Sophie knew it was now or never. “After the wedding you’re going to tour, and I’ll be here alone. I want to do something. I haven’t found any job around here. I can go to New York while you’re on tour and then I can return when you come back.”

“This touring could be months, and I mean like nine or ten months of constant touring,”

“Exactly!”

“I was thinking you could come with us. We have a bigger van, two of them, and we’re doing much better this time around. Sophie,” he took her hands in his. “I don’t want us to be separated. I don’t want us to break up.”

“But we’re not,” she argued.

“Time apart does that to newlyweds,” he squeezed her hands. “Come with us. Arianna is coming with Matt. You’ll have company and you’ll have me. I don’t think I can spend months apart from you, please, I love you so much, Sophie. I’m sure something around here will come up, just please don’t move out to New York. I’ll take care of us. I know the band is gonna do so much better.”

Sophie looked into his brown eyes. She didn’t want to be away from him either. It sounded like a good idea to go to New York for a while, but she thought about the lonely nights without him. He would be on the road. She didn’t think he would cheat. He loved her too much to do that. She loved him too much to be apart from him for so long. She could take a break for a couple of months. She could find something else when she got back.

“Okay,” she smiled, “I’ll go touring with you. If you promise me that when we get back, it’ll be for months and we can start our own lives.”

“That’s all I want,” he cupped her face and brought her lips to his. He kissed her deeply and with every love he had for her.

[Present Day]

“Hello!” Arianna waved her face in front of Sophie.

Sophie blinked and saw that her friend had a worried expression. “Yeah?”

“You blanked out on me.”

“Sorry. I just listened to a voicemail Brian left,” Sophie said and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

“About what?” her friend frowned and sat down next to her.

“About Pinkly,” Sophie answered vaguely. “So about going out to get me someone… when can we do it?”

“Whenever you’re up for it!”

“Next weekend sounds great,” Sophie told her. They unpacked for the rest of the day. Sophie’s head was stuck in the past, and she replayed moments of her relationship with Brian over and over in her head. She remembered how he became distant, and then all of the lies and all of the sneaking around. She thought back to the day she found the card of the divorce lawyer. How cold she felt and how much of a failure she felt.

Arianna left shortly after they finished unpacking most of the stuff. Her friend had to leave to attend to her man’s needs meaning Matt wanted to get laid. Sophie decided it was a good time to call back Brian. She checked the time and she was sure he was home. He would be watching the basketball game or something.

She waited only two rings before he answered.

“Hey,” he said.

Hey? Just hey? She rolled her eyes. “I’ll pick up Pinkly. Just leave the keys like always, okay?”

“Oh… um… okay… and… I wanted to ask about---“

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to take her, Brian,” Sophie said truthfully. “Kim isn’t too happy about our separation and she doesn’t like that you have someone so quick. Of course she doesn’t know the truth, but it’s because I don’t want one of your best friend’s mom to hate you.”

Brian groaned on the other line. “Fuck.”

She knew that he knew she was right. “I’m not saying this because I don’t want her there. I don’t give a shit. But have some fucking decency. It’s not even your party. Go if you wanna go, but don’t take her and ruin someone else’s party.”

“What am I supposed to tell her now?” he growled.

Sophie scoffed. “I don’t give a fuck! Maybe the truth because clearly not being truthful was our downfall.”

“Sophie—“ he started.

“No, I’m not doing this. We’re divorced. Have a nice fucking life, Brian.”