This Love Is Dirtier Than You Think

Leaving Josh behind was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done but now I was here I had to try and work through it, no matter how hard it was going to be.

I had a small apartment a couple of blocks away from the studio I was set to start work in on Monday morning. To tell you the truth, even though I was excited, I was bricking it. I was bound to stick out like a sore thumb, I knew that the instant I walked into the building that I wouldn’t fit in at all. Especially not with all these LA type girls; I was plain and ordinary, nothing special. But for the next two days I had to settle into my apartment and get to know the city, it wouldn’t be that hard would it? I couldn’t stop thinking about Josh, it had only been one day, but still, I missed him. I needed to see his face, just speak to him if anything.

“Hey,” I smiled, looking down the camera in the laptop.

“Hey beautiful,” the bright blue eyed boy grinned at me.

“I miss you,” I pouted.

Josh sighed heavily and looked back up at me with darkened eyes, “I know, I miss you too.”

“What’cha doing?” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Not a lot, just writing some new stuff actually and then I plan on taking a shower,” he smiled simply.

“I wish I could take a shower with you,” I mumbled to myself.

“Sorry, what was that?” I looked back at Josh who was smirking at me.

“Nothing,” I smirked back.

“Oh okay,” he winked. “So, are you having fun?”

“Josh I’ve been here for like five seconds, I’ve barely ventured out of the apartment, so no it’s not that fun,” I laughed.

“It’ll get better when you start work,” Josh smiled at me reassuringly.

I sighed and looked down at my hands, “I don’t know Josh. I don’t know if I’m cut out to do this- what if I’m really bad at my job or no one likes me. I’m scared and I just want you here with me to hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay.”

“Listen to me Lils, you’re going to be great at the job and everyone is going to love you, how could they not? And I’m still here, you can talk to me whenever you want, you know that. And Lils, everything is going to be okay, I promise,” Josh smiled.

“Thank you,” I smiled sweetly, looking into his eyes. I really wanted to be back home, snuggled up next to him in bed but I couldn’t let him know that because he would worry about me further.

Josh was staring at me through the camera, biting his lip. His hair stuck up all over the place, obviously only just waking up, his bright, blue eyes were still sleepy and his cheeks carried a cute pink blush. He just looked so cute, I wanted to be with him so badly.

“You look hot by the way,” Josh smiled.

He still managed to make me blush by saying that, even after all this time.

“I was thinking the exact same thing about you actually,” I smirked. He did look hot, really hot. Me on the other hand, not so sure. I was wearing a vest top and shorts, nothing exciting and my hair was all wavy and messy, sticking out just like his, except on me, it wasn’t attractive in the slightest.

“If I wasn’t half way across the world from you, we would not be sitting here doing this right now,” he grinned.

“Oh yeah? And what would we be doing instead then?” I teased.

“Well first of all, you wouldn’t have your clothes on…” he bit his lip before a loud bang made him jump and look behind him.

“Max, what the fuck are you doing here?” Josh yelled, obviously annoyed that we got interrupted before we even started.

“I just came to see if you wanted to jam or something but I see you are busy… Hey Lil!” Max waved at me.

“Hey Max,” I laughed. Josh however, wasn’t amused.

“I’ll leave you two to it for a bit. I’ll be playing Fifa in the meanwhile but don’t be long, I want to go and grab some food. See ya Lily,” Max smiled before exiting Josh’s bedroom.

Josh turned back around to look at me with a sulky look on his face.

“Don’t pull that face, another time,” I smiled.

“Fine,” he pouted.

“I’ll speak to you later yeah?” I smiled.

“Yeah okay, I’ll text you… I miss you,” he said sadly.

“I miss you too,” I replied, equally sad.

“Promise me you’ll have fun, okay?”

I nodded.

“I love you,” Josh smiled.

“I love you too,” I smiled back.

“Bye Lily.”

“Bye Josh.”