Heal All Her Wounds

“Ithil, dear, please come out.” Jane says in a gentle tone standing in front of the door.

She knew that they wanted to ask her why there was a teddy bear and a letter on their patio this morning, but Ithil didn’t feel like she had to explain herself. Ithil just stares at one of her many posters in her room, the Panic! At The Disco Rolling Stone cover poster, before replying with what was exactly in her mind, “I don’t need to explain myself.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought it was from your brother, if I would’ve known I wouldn’t have given it to you.” Jane was truly apologetic and Ithil sighs before getting out of her bed and walking to her door.

Unlocking the door, Ithil opens it to see the slightly taller woman give her a weak smile before pulling her into a hug. “I’m going to start checking the packages with no return addresses.”

“Okay.” Ithil says while hugging her back.

They pull away and Jane notices that Ithil has three of the same paintings in her room: a family portrait that only had her, her brother and her sister all half-finished.

“Do you need more paint, dear?” Jane asks while looking back at the girl.

Ithil looks behind her at the paintings before looking at her and nodding before saying, “I also want to find wood to make them frames.”

“Okay, we can do that, dear. I’ll just let you get dressed. It’s extremely warm today, by the way.” Jane says while walking away from the door to the stairs.

“Okay.” Ithil replies before shutting the door.

Taking off her hoodie, Ithil looks at her inner arms and sees the lightened and raised scars before taking off the large Band-Aid on her left arm to see the exact same thing.

“Maybe people won’t notice.” Ithil thinks to herself as she walks to her small closet. She pulls out a nice black and red plaid tube Lolita dress and a white short-sleeved button up shirt before setting it on her bed and grabbing a cocktail top hat from the closet.

She puts her hair down and pulls out her curling iron, placing it on her make-shift vanity—her dresser. Ithil has her spouts where she feels like dressing completely girly and will try to make herself look like one of the models where she used to buy her dresses and cosplay costumes from before she learned how to sew more intricate articles of clothing.

Placing her hair in layers, Ithil began the process of curling her mid-rib length hair and using almost the full can on Aussie hair spray.

After an hour, Jane returned to Ithil’s room and knocked before saying, “Are you just about ready?”

“No! Can you help finish curling my hair while I do my makeup?” Ithil’s arms were tired, but she only had the top layer of her hair left and she was relieved.

“Sure, honey.” Jane walks in and begins to take over allowing Ithil’s arms to take a break from switching between holding the curling iron. “Do you want the orange to be curled too?”

“No, thanks, just the black.” Ithil says while starting the tedious makeup routine that Ithil barely even does.

Quickly, Ithil put the concealer and foundation on her face before placing blush along her cheekbones. Jane finished her hair before Ithil could even begin putting on the only makeup she’s willing to wear on a daily basis: liquid eyeliner.

“You look absolutely lovely, Ithie.” Jane says with a genuine smile while separating the curls in Ithil’s hair and making them looser.

“Thank you.” She smiles at herself in the mirror, pleased with her appearance. It’s not that Ithil is one of those girls who think that she’s ugly because she doesn’t; except for those occasions when people leave her.

Grabbing her black lace chocker with orange ribbon through it off of her dresser, she puts it on as Jane turns off the curling iron and placing it on the glossy red wood. She quickly begins to grab her lace tights from her underwear drawer and moves to her bed as quickly as possible, seeing that it’s close to noon.

“Don’t rush, dear. We have all day.” Jane says with a smile across her face.

Ithil just puts on her tights and grabs a pair of black, three-inch Lolita sandals with an orange bow on top of them before putting them on. Even though they don’t make her much taller, granted only being five feet tall, Ithil is pleased with the elevated height. Jane grabs the cocktail top hat and places it on her head before they walk out of her room, both pleased with how she looks.

"Why don’t you dress this way at school?” Jane asks as they walk down the stairs.

“Because I only have this dress, so I can’t be the kawaii Asian chick.” Ithil replies while they walk out into the warm air. The sun beams down on her and the fabric quickly begins to absorb the heat.

Jane laughs a little as they enter the car and Ithil can hear the sounds of the laughs she always heard during lunch. “They’re out.” Ithil thinks to herself before looking out her window to see Matt walking with the tall girl that she learned was named Rachael with him and the rest of the group with them.

Ithil sighs as they pull out of the driveway and looks ahead.

“Can we try to find a fabric store as well?” Ithil asks while looking at Jane, hoping to distract her from the sight of Matt.

“Sure, honey.” Jane smiles at her as they leave their property and drive off on their adventure to the arts and crafts store.

“I wonder if Matt was going to come over and ask me if I wanted to hang out.” Ithil thinks to herself as she looks at her hands that are placed neatly on her lap.



After hours of looking for paint, wood and a nice local fabric store, Ithil realizes that she hasn’t eaten anything all day and her stomach begins to growl.

“Do you have a granola bar in your purse?” Ithil asks curiously while looking at the older woman.

“Yeah, are you hungry?” Jane asks while grabbing for her purse next to her and handing it to Ithil.

“Yeah, a little bit.” She opens the medium sized purse and finds a berry granola bar.

“Well, we’ll be home soon. Jim’s co-worker and his family are going to be over for dinner, by the way.” Jane says while driving on to the main road.

“Oh, okay.” Ithil says quietly while she slowly eats the sweet and healthy treat.

“Don’t worry, hun. It’ll be fine. We’ll have your favorite.”

Ithil’s favorite meal, chicken cordon bleu, always managed to calm her nerves when new people were at her house. She was really hoping that none of the guests were too interested in her though, but knowing that she will be dressed the way she is now during dinner time begs a differ.

“Maybe I should play as the Japanese foreign exchange student. Hell, people confuse me for being Japanese, and I’ve watched enough anime to know some basic Japanese.” Ithil thinks to herself while eating the granola bar and watching the passing scenary.

“Don’t pretend to be a Japanese foreign exchange student again.” Jane says, reading her mind, but mostly remembering the last time Ithil had performed that act the last time people came over for dinner.

Ithil sighs and says “Okay” reluctantly.

“Jim says the kids are nice.” Jane tries to reassure that everything will be okay, but Ithil is still reluctant for having this happen. She doesn’t like inviting strangers into her home, and feels like it’s hard to trust people.

“Will there be a tour of the house?” She asks hoping not.

“There always is, Ithil.”

Ithil groans, not wanting to have strangers know where she sleeps and spends most of her time in.

“You don’t have to show them what your room looks like.” Jane tells her, hoping that’d make her feel better.

“I might as well if they’re gonna know where I sleep!” Ithil was frustrated and just wanted to go into her room until dinner was ready.

Jane sighs, also frustrated, as they park in the driveway where they see a nice Escalade parked on the other side of the driveway.

“Jim’s home, so they’ll be here soon. Can you please set the table when we get inside?” Jane asks while shutting off the car.

“I guess so.” Ithil takes off her seatbelt and gets out of the car to grab their purchases from the trunk

They walk into the house; Ithil’s arms full with bags of fabric, paint and wood while Jane held the door open for the girl who didn’t want anyone’s help carrying her things. Jane and Jim both know how independent Ithil is and don’t bother to ask if they wanted to their help, knowing that she’ll deny it.

“Hey girls, how was your day?” Jim asks from the kitchen already beginning to cook the dinner.

“It was good.” Ithil says before walking upstairs to her room.

“It was wonderful. We found this adorable fabric shop just outside of town and—“ Ithil closes the door before hearing anything else Jane had to say about their day and what they’ve done. She was a teenager with simple answers and was easily bored with long explanations.

“I’ll just set you here.” She says to the bags and wood while dumping it on her bed.

Ithil looks at herself in the mirror, seeing that her curls are starting to fade into waves and pays no mind to it.

“I’ll take a shower after dinner.” Ithil says before exiting her room and doing what she told Jane she would do.

“How old are the kids that are coming over?” Ithil asks curiously as she walks into the kitchen and begins grabbing plates.

“There are going to be seven total.” Jane says before Jim replies, “17 and 14.”

“Oh, lovely,” Ithil grabs seven plates from the cabinet before walking towards the comfortably sized dining room. “Oh, well, at least they’re close to my age.”

There were no more words about the “kids” that were visiting and Ithil silently sets up the table, neatly placing the silverware in their specific order and napkins placed under the silverware.

Once done, she quickly walks upstairs to the bathroom wash her hands and fix her top hat that she feels sliding through her hair.

“Maybe it won’t be bad. Maybe we’ll get along great and things will work out for the night.” Ithil thinks to herself while she looks at the mirror and washes her hands.

Drying them with one of the close towels, Ithil begins to fix her hat when the doorbell rings and scares her enough to throw the hat across the room. Finding it humorous, Ithil begins to laugh as she walks over and grabs it.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that.” She laughs and places the hat on her head as she hears Jane and Jim greet the incoming family.

“Matt, stop!” a boy said, causing Ithil to stop in her tracks at the door.

“I swear to God, if this is the Matt I know…” She begins to walk out of the bathroom and turns the corner to see the kid that she has been seeing non-stop since they met.

“Ithil! Come down and meet our guests!” Jim says while turning towards the stairs.

Ithil quickly walked down stairs, connecting eyes with Matt. She can say that this is the first time he has ever seen her without contacts, not wearing a hoodie, and dressing girly. A smile appears on his face as he lets go of his brother’s head. She looked at the two and saw a difference between them, but they still looked related.

“Hey, Ithil.” Matt says happily.

“Hey, Matt.” Ithil says while shyly waving at him.

Ithil looks at Jane, hoping that she wouldn’t say anything about his visit yesterday and thankfully she didn’t.

“Oh, you two already know each other?” Matt’s mother asks. She is an average heighted, brunette woman who looked to be around her late forties. She looked sweet and like she’d be one of those cool moms.

“Yeah, we have graphics design together and she sits with us at lunch.” Matt explains and they nod.

“Oh wonderful. Well it’s great that Ithil is making friends” Jim says unknowingly.

“Shall we sit?” Jane asks. “Oh, Ithil. Why don’t you show the boys around the house.”

“Uh, okay.” Ithil says as the adults walked into the living room.

“So it was you I saw getting into the car.” Matt says as Ithil led them upstairs, beginning the tour.

“Mhmm.” Ithil says while nods.

“Oh, by the way, this is my brother, Jake.” Matt says while smiling at the younger brother who is silent.

Ithil just smiles at the little brother and began the tour awkwardly and lazily telling them what was behind each door. “This is the bathroom,” she points to the right in front of her, “that’s my room,” she points behind her, “and this is their room” she points to the left of her.

“What does your room look like?” Matt asks.

“Um, it’s pretty bland.” Ithil replies, not wanting to have them see what her room looks like.

Matt didn’t believe her, but dropped the conversation when Jane yelled that dinner was ready with their father telling them to come down right after.

Jake takes the lead while Matt walked behind with Ithil. It made Ithil smile that he would walk with her downstairs to the table where the plates were already served and water was supplied to everyone. The table we set so that the “children” sat on one side of the table while the wives sat across from them and the men were at the ends of the tables. Ithil sat next to Jim, making Matt sit between her and Jake.

Conversations began with the adults talking about business and “adult things” as Matt liked to put it, while Jake and Matt talked about YouTube. Ithil was very familiar with YouTube since she watched Smosh and Shane Dawson on there all the time, but those were the only YouTubers she knew of.

“What type of videos do you make?” Ithil asks curiously, overhearing them talk about doing some skits.

“I make comedy-like things,” Matt explains, “but my brother doesn’t have a YouTube.”

“Oh why not? Even though you don’t make videos, you should still have an account.” Ithil says before eating the last piece of her chicken.

“You have a YouTube account?” Matt asks.

“Yeah, but I only post videos of me doing digital art tutorials. I don’t have many subscribers.” Ithil looks down at her plate and picks at the untouched salad before grabbing blue cheese dressing and drenching the small amount of salad on her plate.

“Why not vlog?” Matt asks curiously.

“Camera shy.” Ithil was truly afraid of being in front of a video camera and speaking as if she was talking to a crowd of people. She has tried many times, especially when she wanted to personally thank her ten subscribers, but she got camera shy and decided just keep doing her tutorials.

“It’s not that bad. Just talk to the camera like you talk to me.” Ithil just gave him a look, mentally telling him that it’s not as easy as he thinks.

“Well, you can use it to make friends, so like vlog and stuff.” Ithil couldn’t understand why he wanted her to be a part of the vlogging community that existed in YouTube. Sure she knew that it was mainly a social networking site, except with videos, but she liked to use it as a marketing tool so that way people would buy her prints off of Deviant Art and Gaia.

“Maybe when I get a little braver.” Ithil began eating the blue cheese pool with lettuce somewhere in there, trying to hide the disgust from her face as she still tastes the vegetable.

Jake, Matt and Ithil sat at the table, done with their plates while the adults talked. Ithil has always been too polite to interrupt a conversation, so she sat there quietly while the brothers began to talk about something she couldn’t hear. Jane looks at them, and Ithil mentally tells her to break away from the conversation to say that they can leave their plates and go upstairs to your room and play a video game.

Ithil didn’t want to go up to their room and cursed not having any of the game stations she had downstairs, but none the less excused herself from the table and took the brothers upstairs to play a multiplayer game on her Game Cube.

“Sorry if my room is a mess.” Ithil states before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

The room showed the boys a stereotypical teenage girl’s room, but with a twist. Instead of having posters of boy bands and girly things, there were posters of bands ranging from The Beatles to A Job For A Cowboy; her computer was to the left of a window and her bed was a twin sized bed with floral-patterned pillows and covers that momentarily had her purchases from earlier today. There was a mannequin in the corner of her room with a half-made Organization 13 coat hanging on it and the three family portraits were on the ground between her computer and closet. To the left of them was her dresser and to her right was her television sitting on a small table with her Xbox, Game Cube and PS2 sitting next to each other on the floor, controllers neatly in front of their designated game system.

“Ha, you said your room is bland.” Matt says while walking in and sitting on one of her bean bag chairs.

“If you don’t have friends, why do you have so many controllers and bean bag chairs.” Jake asks, making Ithil feel kind of hurt. Sure it’s one thing to acknowledge that she used to be a loner, but she had friends now…or at least hoped so.

“Isn’t your brother my friend?” Ithil retorts while taking her place in the bean bag chair next to Matt.

“Yeah, I am.” Matt says defensively while hugging Ithil and taking her by surprise.

“Okay, well I guess I’ll be your friend too.” Jake says while Ithil tries to wiggle herself out of Matt’s hug.

“Yay! I can has friends!” Ithil says enthusiastically, which made her feel good. Slowly, but surly, Ithil was beginning to become more comfortable around Matt and is quickly becoming comfortable around his brother, which surprises her and scares her.

Matt lets go of Ithil, laughing happily about her enthusiasm and her improper grammar, and Ithil begins to turn on the TV and bring out the CD binder that held all of her games in an organized fashion.

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” Ithil asks while grabbing the game from its spot in the case and turning on the Game Cube.

“Sure.” They said in unison while Ithil sat on her knees and put the game in the consol.

For a good hour and a half, they played all four courses and had switched off winning first, second and third.

“I can’t believe you got first on Rainbow Road.” Matt says in disbelief as he leans back in his chair.

“Me neither. This is the first time I’ve gotten first.” Ithil says in disbelief as the screen went back to the start screen.

“I guess we’re you’re good luck charms.” Jake said while poking at Ithil.

“I suppose so.”

Matt got up his own special way by rolling over and pushing himself up on his knees before getting up.

“I’ll be back.” Matt says in his best terminator impersonation while walking to the door.

“Okay then.” Ithil says with a smile as he exits the room.

“He likes you.” Jake tells her making her blush and look at him in shock.

“Yeah, I know, or else we wouldn’t be friends.” Ithil says, playing it off as if he meant that Matt liked her as a person.

“No, I mean he really likes you, he—“ was all Jake could get out before Matt came back into the room.
Ithil watched him as he walked over to the half-done paintings and Ithil quickly got up to stop him from looking at them, momentarily forgetting the information his brother had just told her.

“They’re not done, yet.” Ithil says while quickly walking by Matt.

“Yeah, but they look good. Why do you have three of them made?” Matt asks while looking at the modern family portrait and seeing her sitting in front and between a girl that looks just like her with blond hair and wearing a white and blue flowered sundress, and a tall boy that looked nothing like them with eyeliner, a leather jacket and emo hair.

“That’s my twin brother and sister, and I’m making one for each of us.” Ithil explains.

Jake comes up behind them as Matt begins to state the obvious, surprised by what he just heard. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re a triplet?”

Ithil just nods before saying that they were separated when they were eight and telling them their location. “My sister is in California, living with our family; and, my brother is in England living with my dad’s friends. I’m also living with my dad’s friends.”

“Where’s your dad?” Jake asked.

“He passed when we were eight.” Ithil replied, her voice starting to sound softer.

“And your mom?” Matt asks, almost close enough to give her a hug.

“Passed when we were five.” Ithil’s voice was almost as soft as the sound when snow falls. She hasn’t spoken to anyone about the death of her parents since she was in therapy after her father passed; but, she knew she was going to eventually talk about it again sometime.

“I’m sōrry.” They both say, before giving her a hug. Ithil just buried her head between the two bodies and stood there trying not to cry.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Ithil says before lightly pulling away and signaling for them to let go.

“Still feel bad though.” Matt says. She could tell that they truly felt bad, and couldn’t imagine what she has been going through.

“It’s really okay. I’m over it.” Ithil lies to herself and them with a weak smile. “I mean, my brother and sister and I still communicate with each other. My brother sends me tea and letters, I send him art and replies. My sister and I IM every day…well except for this next week because she got grounded or something.”

“Well, at least you don’t have to deal with sharing anything.” Jake says, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiles at his attempt to make her feel better. “True. I’m like an only child.”

“Do you have Mortal Kombat?” Matt asks, completely changing from the sad subject to a more fun and gory one.

“Who doesn’t have that game?” Ithil replies with a smile.

“Let’s play it.”

“But it’s only a two player game.” Jake whines.

“You can play winner.” Matt says as he begins to take his spot back in his bean bag chair.

Jake and Ithil returns to the “Gaming Corner” and Ithil begins to switch the game consul and put the violent game in.

The button smashing game only went on for a round between Ithil and Matt before Mr. Gibson knocked on the door and called the boys out so they can leave.

“Okay!” Matt yells as Ithil pauses the game.

The boys get up and Matt helps Ithil up before they leave her room and walk downstairs to see her parents ready to go. Ithil was sad that the boys had to leave so soon, but the thought of having them stay over scared her. Slowly beginning to understand that not all boys are careless, thoughts in her head began to come back and warning her.

“You don’t want to be heartbroken and betrayed again, do you?” the voice says as they reach the last step of the stair case.

“Ready to go?” Their mother asks.

“Yeah, bye Ithil.” Matt says with a hint of disappointment that he has to leave.

“Bye Ithil.” Jake say with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Bye guys. See ya around.” Ithil says while waving at them. “It was nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Gibson.”

“It was nice to meet you too, Ithil.” Mrs. Gibson said with a warm smile.

“Yeah, and feel free to come over and hang with them. Rachael will be happy to have another girl to talk to instead of these two knuckle heads.” Mr. Gibson says before rubbing his sons’ hair and messing it up.

Ithil laughs and says “Okay” before they repeat their good-byes and leave the house.

“See, it wasn’t that bad.” Jane said while walking into the kitchen.

“Yeah, it wasn’t.” Ithil says while walking into the kitchen to help clean up the mess. She put away the left over salad and the desert that wasn’t touched by the three teenagers. Ithil grabs a slice of cake as Jane places the dishes in the dishwasher and Jim turns on the television to watch the 10 o’clock news.

Walking upstairs, Ithil says goodnight to the couple before entering her room, happily with a piece of cake. She turns off her PS2 and the television before walking over to her computer chair and turns it on.

Ithil never felt so happy in her life and so close to what she used to be before finding out that she had the worst and most backstabbing friends in the world. She spins around in her chair a little as her computer slowly begins to turn on when she notices a note on the ground.

She stops and hopes that it was a love note from Matt that just so happened to drop during some time while they were talking. Walking over and grabbing the paper, she unfolds it only to be disappointed by the fact that it is just a list she made a few days ago for what she needs to do.

Ithil throws away the paper in her trash can under the window and logs onto her computer, starting to realize the feeling that is beginning to fill her body.

“No, I can’t be falling in love.” Ithil says to herself, remembering the little bit of hope that Jake had told her earlier. She was afraid to fall in love only to be hurt again.

“I wish I knew what Jake was going to say before Matt came in. Man that kid pees fast.” Ithil thinks to herself while opening AIM and sending her sister an IM even though she knew that she wouldn’t get it till later.

xIthiexKittyx: I’m falling in love and I’m afraid.