Heal All Her Wounds

Sunday was an uneventful day for Ithil, spending her time on homework and beginning to edit her next tutorial for drawing Lucky Star characters for Tuesday’s video. Monday, however, is another story.

The most hated day by Ithil and a lot of the human population, she finds herself yawning every twenty minutes due to lack of sleep from her nightmare. Matt noticed her contagious yawns and began to yawn himself.

“Stop yawning, you’re gonna make me yaw—” Ithil hears Rachael say before having another cute yawn.

“Sōrry, I guess I’m really tired.” Ithil knew that Matt was lying and didn’t understand why he just didn’t blame her and said that she is making him yawn by yawning.

“Yeah, sure.” Rachael says obviously not believing him and turning to look at Ithil.

Ithil quickly looks at her screen and begins to finish up making her logo that best describes who she is and using her initials. The “I” is constructed of bones with a skull making a dot, the “F” is a cross with a curved claw at the top of it, and the “W” was just two skeletal hands using the thumbs and the index finger. The background, however, was a lovely floral design with a cute anime cat sitting next to the logo and its paw on the logo.

“Done.” Ithil thinks to herself before deciding to print it out.

Looking at the clock above the door, Ithil sighs as she realizes that she’s done twenty minutes before class ends.

“I guess I’ll be doodling until class ends.” Ithil gets up and walks towards the printer that just so happens to be the one directly next to Matt.

“Done already?” Matt asks while looking up at her. She just nods and looks at Matt’s work in progress. Ithil smiles, looking at how Matt’s logo is just his logo for his YouTube channel that Ithil has started to watch yesterday.

“Yep, and nice.” Ithil says with a smile, looking at his seemingly complete logo.

“You’re just jealous of my awesome work.” Matt said with a cheeky smile.

“Totally.”Ithil shakes her head before grabbing the paper and walking towards the desk of their teacher that has escaped her mind.

She doesn’t really remember her teachers’ names and hasn’t since elementary school where only a few select teachers, either teachers that she likes or teachers that don’t like her, have the pleasure and displeasure of being known to her.

“Here you go.” She says to the mildly overweight teacher while handing him the paper with the small logos.

He quickly looks over it and says, “Good” before setting it down on his desk.

Ithil just shrugs and walks back to her computer to shut it down and pulls out her sketchpad.

“What to draw today?” Ithil asks herself before being scared by the feeling of someone tapping her shoulder.

“Oh, sōrry, Matt warned me that you get startled easily.” Rachel apologizes while standing behind Ithil and looking down at her.

“It’s fine,” Ithil says while looking up at her. “You’re Rachael, right?”

“Yeah, I don’t mean to bother you, but I was wondering where you found that cute cat.” She says sweetly with a smile. Ithil is on her guard though, not quite sure what type of person Rachael is.

“Oh, I found it on this cite.” Ithil says before getting up and walking over to where Rachael sits. The tall brunette follows her and sits in her spot while Ithil directs her. Ithil could help but notice how beautiful Rachael is. In a way she looked like a girl she wanted to be friends with, but was too focused on trying to be popular and was blinded from the fact that she was also popular because her father owns the alternative rock radio station in Palm Beach County. They have long hair, have the perfect proportion of curves and are tall—or at least taller than her.

“Thanks. Now there will be kitties on my logo!” Rachael says happily showing her perfect white teeth.

“Haha yup, you’re welcome though.” Ithil says before walking back to her seat and try to make room for her sketchpad.

Ithil begins to sketch out a girl before looking back at Matt and Rachael, and seeing them hold hands for a quick second before Rachael away to the teacher.

“Why would Jake lie to me? I barely even know the kid.” She began to be regretful for even believing Matt’s brother and began to wonder if they’re both setting her up to fail.

She trades the sketchpad for her little sketchbook and red pen before beginning to draw a sad half-dead girl sitting on a log and looking at a popped balloon with “Hope” on the balloon. She was too into her drawings and her feelings to notice that the obnoxious bell rang and people were leaving. It wasn’t until Matt asked her what she was drawing that brought her back to reality.

Quickly, she shuts her sketchbook and replies, “Just Oliver Sykes again.”

“You’re obsessed with him.” Matt laughs as they wait for her.

“Well, he’s always fun to draw. His tattoos give me a challenge.” Ithil explains while getting up and walking with them to the door.

“Who?” Rachael asks unsure who the man they’re talking about is.

“He’s the lead singer of this band from England.” Ithil explains while getting out the phone she barely uses and showing Rachael the background of the lead singer with his cute pout and showing off half of his sleeve on his right arm. “My brother looks up to him and he’s quite brutal lyrically.”

“Oh okay. He’s pretty cute.” Rachael says while looking at the picture before looking away and holding hands with Matt.

“Yeah.” Ithil says while looking down and placing the phone back in her sweater pocket. She rubs her arm awkwardly as they talk about something that Ithil isn’t interested in. There is still a bit of pain that attacks her heart, and she tries to push it away.

“See ya during lunch, Ithil.” Rachael says while giving Matt a hug. Ithil stops and looks at the girl before waving and saying, “Yeah, see ya.”

The couple let go before Matt walks over to Ithil who waits a few feet away. She just looks at her feet feeling like she was about to cry, which was something she didn’t want to deal with especially not in school.

“You okay?” Matt asks as they continued to walk.

“Yeah, just super exhausted. Sorry for making you yawn so much.” Ithil replies while looking up at Matt and giving him a reassuring smile.

“It’s fine.” He says, smiling back before stopping at the end of the hallway.

“Hey faggot. Hey freak.” A voice that was almost forgotten said.

Ithil sighs, wondering why this day had to get worse. She looks at Matt who just shrugs and decides to not be confrontational by just walking away to his class, silently mentioning to Ithil that she do to same.

“Hey wait, where are you going, freak?” the jock that she hoped would leave her alone asked.

Ithil only went for her only escape (music) only to be pushed against the lockers and hitting her head. Nobody came to her rescue. The kids did nothing to stop him and his two friends that looked similar to the bully, except they both had brown hair that was ear length and one of them was tanner.

“I need to go to class.” Ithil says silently while holding her headphones.

“You don’t need to do shit, unless you’re a huge nerd. Oh wait, you’re Asian. Ching chong, ching chong.” He says while his friends laugh.

Ithil just sighs before saying quietly, “Rokudenashi kutabaru.”

“What did you say?” He asks while pushing her against the lockers again.

“Rokudeashi kutabaru! Drop dead bastard!” Ithil yells, feeling like she’s about to lose all control of herself and her emotions. She was shaking as emotions ran through her veins and looks at the bully’s hard face.

“Hey, get to class!” A teacher yells from her class room.

The bully punches the locker neck to her head before letting her go and saying, “This isn’t over bitch.”

Ithil just pushes herself past the guy she is just decided to forever call “Dick face” and ran to her biology class, knowing that she’s going to be late.

“Fucking Dick face, making me late.” Ithil curses as she runs into her classroom a second after the bell rings.

The class looks at her before going back to their normal conversation. Ithil looks to see Abbey who has a worried look on her face. Ithil just looks down and walks to her seat next to her lab buddy.

“You okay?” Abbey asks curiously with a hint of worry in her voice.

“I’m not going to let people in anymore.” Ithil thinks to herself before replying, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Abbey asks while trying to look at the tormented Asian girl’s face.

“Yeah, I’m positive.” Ithil says while looking at the red headed girl and smiling.

“Okay, as long as nothing is wrong with my favorite Asian.” Abbey says smiling and giving Ithil a hug.

Ithil just smiles and sits in class actually focusing on what the lesson was about, even though it was continuing on about atoms, but this time about the types of bonds. The two didn’t talk at all during the lesson and barely talked during their assignment.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?” Abbey asks while looking at Ithil and putting down the molecule models.

“Nothing.” Ithil replies while grabbing the model.

“No, something is wrong. What’s going on?” Abbey lightly places her hand over Ithil’s. She just sighs and doesn’t want to answer her worried friend with an honest answer.

“I’m just out of it, I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Ithil lies while looking up at her friends green eyes with her purple-contacted ones.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Well you should take a nap when you get home.” Abbey says while writing down the next molecule that creates a covalent bond.

“Yeah, I think I’ll definitely do that.” Ithil says with a tired smile before hearing the sound of their teacher announcing that it’s time to clean up.

The girls cleaned up their mess and Ithil turned in their worksheet while Abbey turned in their models before they packed up and waited for the bell to ring.

“Do you like Matt?” Abbey asks randomly.

“He’s a nice guy.” Ithil diverges from the question not wanting to admit that she is feeling hurt to have found out that he has a girlfriend just an hour or so prior.

“Yeah, but do you like him?” Abbey seems persistent to find an answer, so Ithil just decides to lie.

“I like him as a friend.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Why do you ask?” Ithil’s curiosity got to her.

“Because I think he likes you, and I mean more than a friend.” Abbey says. Ithil just makes an O-shape with her mouth, not wanting to hear any lies that the red headed girl had to say, but her curiosity is gnawing on her mind.

“What makes you think this?”

“He’s a lot more open to you. I mean, he hugs you and always looks at you, and he actually spent most of lunch Friday trying to find you. I mean, he didn’t even do this to Rachael when they first began dating…at least not hug her a lot. He’s actually not one of those romantic guys.”

Ithil doesn’t allow herself to fall for the words that were being told by Abbey, and decides to not pursue any other explanation to how any of this could possibly mean that Matt likes her more than a friend, even though she wanted to know more and get more evidence from her red-headed friend.

The bell rings and everyone gets up from their seat.

“I’m really thinking so…I think everyone thinks so.” Abbey says while walking away from the table and leaving Ithil behind.

“Yeah, it’s one thing to think, but it’s another to know for sure; and, I don’t think he’s the type of guy to let himself like another girl while he’s dating someone.” Ithil says silently to herself while she gets up and leaves the classroom.



During her third and fourth period, Ithil couldn’t keep her mind off of the fact that there is possibly a small chance of hope for her after all; but, she couldn’t help but think that she is being lied to and being set up to fail like she has been before.

Sighing, Ithil walks to the cafeteria alone as her thoughts plague her and fill her hearing.

“I don’t know. What if they are setting me up to fail? But what if they aren’t? Why would they? I mean, they look and seem like they actually care about me; but—” Ithil thinks before finding herself pushed against the wall.

“Ow, fuck.” Ithil curses under her breath before seeing the blond haired bully.

“I told you this wasn’t over. So you and the faggot are dating? Didn’t realize you were a lesbian.” The blond haired bully said.

Ithil just stayed silent as the bully attempted to make fun of her. She didn’t realize that he had accused her of dating Matt, mostly because she was too busy on concentrating on her fear that her tongue will cause her to get beaten into a pulp, but her thoughts were running rapid with anger.

“Yeah, well at least Matt doesn’t need to bully in order to impress his friends, Dick face. He’s obviously okay with his masculinity while you still feel the need to prove yourself.”

“I’m not a lesbian, I’m bi.” Ithil corrects quietly while looking down.

“Hey! Go in the cafeteria!” Ithil hears her math teacher yell only ten feet away.

Ithil and the three jocks look at the average height woman that looks no more than forty before the blond one pushes her against the wall and walks away.

“Are you okay, Ithil?” Mrs. Long asks while walking up to her student.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” Ithil says politely before entering the cafeteria and finally being able to walk to her group of acquaintances.

She silently takes her spot next to Josh and began feeling uncomfortable. The table was lively and happy, laughing and having a good time, but when she came to the table she felt like she would bring the table down.

“Hey Ithil. What took you so long?” Abbey asks with a smile while looking at her.

Ithil sucked up her pessimism and looked up at Abbey saying, “Dick face and his goons held me up.”

“Haha, who’s ‘Dick face’?” Josh laughs, budding his way into her business.

“That blond asshole that used to take my shit when I sat alone.” Ithil says with a smile while motioning her head towards the jock table a few tables away.

“Oh, you mean Randy Hilton and his friends, Bobby and Ken.” Abbey says before taking a sip of from her juice box.

“Oh, that’s their names? I’m just gonna continue to call him ‘Dick face’ and call his goons ‘Goon One’ and ‘Goon Two’.” Ithil takes out her lunch from her bag and sets it on the table before hearing Rachael talk with Matt and another girl who wore a lot of eyeliner and had short scene hair without the poof.

“Oh hey, Ithil!” Rachael says happily while they walk up to the table.

“Hi Rachael.” Ithil says with a smile before looking at the girl next to her. She was as tall as Matt and had some chub on her, but looked really nice.

“Oh Kristen, this is Ithil; Ithil, Kristen.” Matt introduced the two girls.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ithil says while holding out her hand, feeling like it would be the appropriate way to greet someone that was formally introduced to her.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Kristen says with a smile and taking the girl’s small hand.

They shake hands before they take their seat at the other side of Ithil and Abbey, where Ithil sighs and begins to eat her turkey and cheese sandwich with a bit of lettuce that was hidden from her.

“Bleh.” Ithil says while opening her sandwich and finding that she had eaten part of a leaf of lettuce.

“You don’t like lettuce?” Josh asks.

“I don’t like vegetables…well, I don’t like vegetables that taste like grass.” Ithil explains while taking the lettuce out and placing it in the bag that the sandwich came from.

“That’s basically every vegetable.” Abbey says laughing a little.

“But it’s not. I like corn and mushrooms, and garlic and onions, and potatoes. That’s it.” Ithil explains before continuing to eat her sandwich and looking over at Matt and Rachael.

She mentally sighs and starts to listen to the conversations around her. Matt’s half of the table going from talking about launching fireworks and blowing up things, to video games, to what they want to do during the weekend; and, the intermingling among the table talking about hanging out, but never having anything to do in Strathroy.

“What do you plan on doing this weekend?” Abbey asks her, trying to get her into the conversation.

“Probably send out some stuff to my brother and sister.” She replies plainly while beginning to eat an apple.

“You have a brother and sister?” Josh asks.

“Yeah, I’m a triplet, but we all live in different places. My sister lives in California and my brother lives in England.”

“That is so cool!” Abbey says excitedly. “Do you guys look exactly alike?”

“No, my sister and I look more alike than our brother. He looks completely white.” Ithil says while laughing a little. Ithil remembers when they were younger how people couldn’t tell the difference between them because their mother always cut her and her sister’s hair short; but now it’s easy for people to tell the difference because they all grew up differently.

“Is he cute?” Abbey asks, making Ithil laugh. As if she would think of her brother as cute, but she did admit that he was a very handsome guy.

“Sure? Here, I have a picture of him in my sketchpad.” She pulls out her sketchpad and slowly opens it up, hoping that none of her references will spill out.

Searching for the picture, she notices how Josh is looking over her should to get a quick glimpse at her art work. “You’re really good.” He says while she stops on the page with an incomplete drawing a picture of her brother wearing a bear pelt and with war paint on.

“Thank you.” Ithil says while pulling out the picture of her brother’s mug showing a handsome teenage boy with snakebites and handing it to Abbey, “Here you go.”

“Oh, he’s really cute! Oh my God, and you said he lives in England too, right?” Abbey asks while staring at the picture, and drawing attention from her brother and Jay. Ithil looks between the red headed boy and the curious Jay before going back to Abbey and answering her, “Yeah.”

“Which means he’ll have a British accent! Does he have a girlfriend?” Abbey’s eyes expressed happiness and hope, but her brother decided to try to make it seem like it was useless, “He lives in England and probably doesn’t have any idea who you are.”

“Oh hush. I’ll make it work out.” Abbey says while handing Ithil back the picture.

“Actually, now isn’t the best time for him to be in a relationship. He’s kind of not in the position to be in one, especially with someone 3,000 miles away.” Ithil says hinting that he’s not worth it while looking down at the picture. She sighs, and places the picture back in the sketchbook. Her brother had a huge rock n’ roll complex, meaning that he thought he was the best around and she knew he was going through some things with his friends because of it.

“Oh, okay. Well, I guess now that I think of it, it wouldn’t have worked out. That’s just too far away.” Abbey says while looking down at her empty tray. She grabs for Ithil’s trash, looking a bit disappointed, but quickly felt better when Jay threw a plastic ball at her.

“Hey jerk.” Abbey says with a smile before picking up the ball and putting it on her tray.

“Thanks.” Ithil says while the red headed girl grabbed for her empty “Peanut Punch” box.

“Welcome, dear.” She says while getting up and walking away.

“So you excited about math?” Josh asks, already knowing the answer.

“The day I am the Queen of the World is the day I’ll be excited about math.” Ithil replies causing the boy to laugh.

Abbey sits down with a huge smile on her face, making Ithil automatically look at Jay who has a smile on his face as well.

“Did you just ask him out or something?” Ithil asks, curiously.

“What? No!” Abbey says in denial while her brother looks at her. Ithil saw the truth in the red head’s green eyes and just dropped it, but luckily the bell rang before anything could get awkward between her and her brother.

“See you last period.” Josh says before getting up.

“Kay, see ya.” Ithil says while putting the sketchpad back in her bag without looking and getting up. Ithil kinda of felt like an idiot that she automatically thought that “periods” were called blocks because she lived in Canada, and mentally smacks herself in the head.

“See ya guys later.” Ithil says while walking away, and hearing only Abbey and Matt reply back.

She looks to her right to see if her bullies were still at their table to make sure that she won’t have to deal with them again; but, she connected eyes with the cold-hearted bullied and quickly walks out of the cafeteria before they can catch up to her.

“Safe for now.” Ithil says as she reaches to the front of the crowd and a good twenty feet away from the cafeteria entrance.



Worry began to fill Ithil’s veins as she began looking for the sketchbook she could’ve sworn it was in her bag. She couldn’t remember taking it out, but the slim possibility of it falling out didn’t seem too probable enough.

“Fuck, where is it?” Ithil says, checking her bag for the fifteenth time.

“Where’s what?” Josh asks while sitting next to her.

“I lost my sketchbook.” Ithil says while checking the pocket in the inside of her bag, even though she knew it was impossible since the book is bigger than the pocket.

“It’s right there, silly.” Josh says while pointing to the sketch pad.

“No, it’s a medium sized leather sketchbook.” Ithil explains while giving up and feeling like she’s about to cry. Even though there’s only two drawings, Ithil feared that someone would find it and destroy it, or claim it as their own even though she always puts her initials on the bottom corner.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You can check the student aid office and see if they have it.” Josh suggested.

Ithil just sighs and says, “I guess. I hope no one stole it. It was really pretty.”

“I’ll go with you to check if you’d like.” The bell rings and Ithil just sighs, “If you want.”

Mrs. Long looks at Ithil with sympathy in her eyes while looking up to do the attendance. Ithil just looked down and pulls out her text book and notes. Having her small sketchbook gone worried her, but the thought that Randy might have her sketchbook worried her the most. The thought that he would be scribbling out her emotions that were hidden behind the book covers and writing or drawing crude things began to make her feel like maybe she’s not even worth the space that’s being taken up by her.

“I wish I had my sketchbook.” Ithil thought to herself while looking down and opening her notebook.

The class went by with Ithil yawning silently every thirty minutes, but her getting by without having to be elbowed to pay attention. Her eyes began to feel like they were going to water from both exhaustion and worthlessness, but she didn’t let them form big enough to fall down from her eyes.

“Alright, now work on this assignment until the bell rings,” Mrs. Long said while writing down the assignment on the board. Ithil begins to open up the text book to the designated page and write down the assignment when she is called, “Ithil, talk to me in the hallway.”

All the kids gave her looks and oohed, all assuming that she was in trouble for some reason. Ithil looks at Josh, unsure what their teacher would talk to her about and he gives her the same look. She stands up and walks behind Mrs. Long into the hallway wondering if she’s failing so bad that she’s getting pulled back to algebra I.

Once they walk out of the classroom and the door is shut, Ithil can hear the class start to become loud with chatter and sighs. “I’m sorry that I’m terrible at math.”

“Oh, Ithil, I’m not talking to you aboot that.” Mrs. Long says reassuring her.

“What do you want to talk about then?” Ithil looks up at the teacher, unsure of the reason for only a second until what happened just before lunch came to mind.

“How long have you been harassed like that by Randy?” Mrs. Long asks curiously and almost in a caring tone.

“Since I’ve started coming here.” Ithil replies while pulling her sleeves down to where here hands are being hidden.

“Have you talked to anyone about it?”

“No, it’s not really anyone else’s problem.” Ithil was being honest when she said that. She never really liked to tell people about her problems, except for her therapists because they’re getting paid for it and it’s their job so she doesn’t feel bad about it.

“Don’t say that; if they give you trouble, talk to administration about it.” Mrs. Long was trying to be one of the helpful teachers; the kind of teacher that truly cared about her students, no matter where they came from. Sure she didn’t really show it in everything she did, but the little things were supposed to tell the students that she cared, like having them seated so they can succeed in her class.

Ithil has heard this multiple times before when tried to become one of them, and ended up failing miserably. “Okay,” was all Ithil says, not wanting to argue and just wanting to go back into the classroom to get her work done.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it will help, but if you do it it’ll at least allow administration to watch over them.” Her teacher says while looking at the down girl with her dark brown eyes.

“Okay, I’ll talk to the student aid office about it after class.” Ithil didn’t know whether or not she was going to do it, but decided to say that she would if she could go back into the classroom. For some reason, Ithil wasn’t comfortable with one-on-ones with teachers, especially about her social life…if being bullied even is a part of a social life.

“Okay, good.” Mrs. Long says before walking to the door and opening it, causing complete silence throughout the room.

Ithil just takes her seat and begins working on the assignment without speaking a word to Josh, and she was grateful that he didn’t try to talk to her. Her mind was blank and was only filled with math—for once in her life.

The bell rings and everyone begins to quickly pack their things. Ithil lags, knowing that she’ll have to go to the student aid office. She texts Jane before walking off with Josh.

“Thanks for coming with me.” Ithil says while they walk.

“No problem. Kinda gives me something to do instead of having to ride my bike right after school.” Jake says. There was silence between them as they walk into the student aid office.

“How can I help you?” a woman with short burgundy hair asks from behind the desk.

“Hi, I was wondering if you’ve seen a leather bound sketchbook.” Ithil says shyly.

The lady moves backwards and gets a large box from under her desk. “If you’ve lost it it’s probably in here, but I haven’t seen a leather bound sketchbook come in today. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, thank you for your time.” Ithil didn’t forget to tell the lady about her bullying problem, but she didn’t think that they’d do anything about it so she just leaves.

“I’m sorry. I hope you find it.” Josh says as they walk out of the office.

“Yeah, me too.” Ithil looks at her feet as they walk to the school’s main entrance wondering where it could possibly be.

As they walk outside, Matt’s voice rings in Ithil’s ears as he yells for her. She looks up at him to see him walking over to them.

“Later, Ithil.” Josh says before quickly walking away and not saying bye to Matt, which seemed strange to the girl.

“Hey Matt.” Ithil says while walking down the stairs to meet him at the bottom.

“Hey, you okay?” Matt asks while looking at her.

“Yeah, why?” Ithil asks while looking up at him.

“You just look down, but anyways. You dropped this.” Matt says while handing her the missing sketchbook.

“Oh my God. I was so worried, thank you.” Ithil says while gingerly grabbing the book and smiling at the boy who’s eyes have mysteriously changed to green. “Your eyes are green.”

“Ha, yeah. They change color depending on what I’m wearing.” Matt says with a smile showing his imperfect teeth.

“They’re really pretty.” Ithil says while blushing before hearing the sound of a car honking.

They both look at the direction from where the honking came from and could see it was from Jane who has become impatient.

“Thanks, Ithie.” Matt says with a smirk as they walk to the car.

“You can call me ‘Ithie’ if I can call you ‘Matty’.” Ithil bargains.

“You can call me ‘Matty’ only when we’re just hanging out.” He says, seeming to hate being called that.

“Fine, then you can only call me ‘Ithie’ during that time too.” Ithie compromises as they reach the car.

“Fine.” Matt says while spitting in his hand and holding it out.

Ithil just smirks, not being one afraid of germs, just afraid of people. She does the same and shakes his hand as he gives her a grossed out look. “Ew, I can’t believe you did that!” Matt says in a feminine voice while rubbing the spit covered hand on his pants.

“I’m not afraid of germs. I share food and drinks.” Ithil says matter-of-factly while placing her hands on her hips.

“Gross.” Matt says while still giving her the same grossed out look and making her smile.

“Would you like a ride home, Matt?” Jane asks from her seat.

“Sure.” Matt replies and waits for Ithil to get in first, feeling a bit rude if he got in before her.

Ithil opens the door and Matt jumps in the back before Ithil can get in, then they drive off to drop Matt off first. He gave Jane the general directions to his house as they drive in their neighborhood and talks to Ithil about video games and movies. Of course it was a short conversation, but Ithil didn’t mind it. She enjoyed having someone to talk to about horror movies and movies based on video games, arguing whether or not justice was served.

“Have you seen any of the Final Fantasy movies?” Ithil asks Matt.

“Nope, I’ve never really even played Final Fantasy Matt says as they come up to his house.

“Blasphemy! You must come over to my house and watch it slash play it!” Ithil says as if Matt has committed one of the highest crimes.

“Come over my house this weekend and we can play—or at least watch a movie.” Matt says as the car comes to a stop.

“She’ll be there.” Jane says without even consulting Ithil about it.

“Great, bye Ithil.” Matt says while getting out of the car.

He shuts the door and waves to them as Ithil waves back and says bye to him through her window before driving off.

“Jane, I didn’t really want to go over to his house this weekend.” Ithil groans, wishing that she at least had some time to think about it.

“Ithil, I want you to have a social life and he seems like a really nice guy, not to mention he’s cute and you two are cute together.” Ithil sighs remembering the truth that she had found out today.

“He has a girlfriend.” She looks at the sketchbook in her hand, wondering if Matt had done anything to it.

“Is she pretty?” Jane asks.

“Yeah, she’s a lot prettier than me…and taller.” Ithil places her head against her seatbelt and looks out her open window.

“Oh, Ithil. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone is beautiful in their own way; it’s just a matter of whether or not a person can see it.” Jane’s words swam through Ithil’s mind even minutes after they have gotten home.

“Maybe Jane is right.” Ithil says while she looks up at her ceiling and rolls over to her side. Ithil understood that she was beautiful because no one has ever called her ugly; they just called her “freak”, or “weirdo,” or “attention whore” or, most recently, “lesbian”, but they have never called her ugly.

Her train of thought went back to her sketchbook that she had put on her night stand next to her bed. She was still curious on whether there were any signs if Matt had looked at what she had drawn or if he left anything behind in it.

Grabbing it, she opens it and sees that the first page was just like she left it. No scribbles or any additions to her art, but when she turned the page she saw pencil writing on the back that said, “You’re too young to die. Don’t waste your life away. I’ll miss you :( ”

Curious about what he had to say about her newest creation, she turns the page to see the back only to see, “Hope isn’t gone, Ithil. I know you feel half dead without your family, but hope isn’t gone.”

“Oh, if only you knew my full life story, Matt.” Ithil says to herself before beginning to draw on the next page about how she was feeling after lunch.

She begins to draw an atomically correct human heart with the words “Worthless toy” across it, and that was it. Ithil started to look for something so she could be more careful with her sketchbook, feeling lucky that Matt had it.