Heal All Her Wounds

Ever since Josh has told Ithil that he had liked her, he’s been acting like a “proper creep”—in the words of her brother, Gil, who finally managed to get a computer with internet—and Ithil began to feel extremely uncomfortable with him. Josh has been more forward in his advances: putting his arm around her as if they were dating, trying to hold her hand, trying to make her put her legs around his waist; it was all too much for Ithil during these two days and she just wanted to make him hate her, or at least not like her anymore.

“So can I have your number?” Josh asks as they walk out of the classroom. Ithil was happy that it’s Friday so she doesn’t have to see Josh for two days.

“No, sorry,” Ithil wasn’t sorry though. She knew she had to make up a lie, “I can’t use my phone except for emergencies.”

“Oh, okay. Well, do you wanna hang out after school?” He asks, while putting his hand on hers.

She quickly pulls her hand away and says, “No, I’m going to hang out with Matt after school.”

“Oh, I see,” Josh says, “If you don’t like him, why are you hanging out with him?”

Ithil couldn’t believe that Josh was giving her the third degree. It was absolutely infuriating and she was starting to get annoyed. Even if she didn’t like Matt more than friends, Ithil is pretty sure that she would still be hanging out with him because she would like to have someone to play video games with and maybe introduce him to anime.

“Because he’s my friend…?” Ithil was really irritated with Josh and no longer wanted to even speak to him anymore.

“But he likes you!” Josh yells causing people to look at them.

Ithil was shocked by his sudden outburst and began walking away quickly, not wanting to be the victim of his anger and not wanting to be the center of the conflict. Josh follows behind, trying to grab her and telling her to wait, but she doesn’t; instead, she just pushes through the crowd to get out of the crowded hall way.

Luckily, she finds Matt and Rachael just walking together and holding hands: not necessarily the sight that Ithil wants to see, but a comforting one that Josh will back off since Ithil has never really seen Josh and Matt talk to each other, let alone stand near each other for a long period of time.

“Hey guys.” Ithil says with a smile and hiding the fact that she’s a little bit out of breath. She was practically running through the crowd, trying to get away from Josh and she’s not in the most fit of states.

“Oh hey,” Rachael and Matt say with a smile while they walk out of the building.

“Where’s Josh?” Rachael asks which slightly surprises Ithil.

“I left him behind. He’s turning into a big creep.” Ithil says honestly while walking down the stairs and looking at the steps.

“Yeah, I mean, usually I don’t say this about people, but Josh is really a creeper. Sorry that he likes you.” Matt says almost sympathetically.

“Eh.” Ithil just shrugs as they stop in front of a van. Ithil looks up to see Matt give Rachael a hug before they pull away and she gets in. It seemed quite odd that they don’t even kiss, but she believes that they’re just taking it slow.

“Bye Rachael.” Ithil says, waving to the girl who looks and waves back.

“So, did you bring the movie or movies?” Matt asks while looking at Ithil.

“Yeah, they’re in my bag. We can just watch the first one if you want and another movie of your choice.” Ithil says as they begin to walk away from the building.

“Okay. Is Jane picking us up?” Matt asks, not seeing the familiar powder blue car.

“No, she has to work late today, so we’ll just walk to your house.” Ithil replies as students walk past them to get to their cars, or to get into awaiting cars.

“Okay,” was all Matt could say as they walk farther away from the high school and begin their way to their street.

The sun was beating down on them, and Ithil wearing a black hoodie was not the best thing for her. She was starting to get hot not even five minutes after they left the school grounds and Matt began to notice her face turning red.

“Oh you’ll get to see my kitty.” Matt said making Ithil smile big. Ithil has always loved cats and was sad when she had to get rid of her cat before moving to Canada.

“Aw, I love kitties. My mom used to call me ‘Kitty’ and my dad used to call me ‘Ithie Kitty’.” Ithil blushes about her past and remembers most of the first four years of her life where everything was okay and everyone was happy.

Matt laughs a little before asking why. Ithil’s answer was simple though. There was nothing complex about how she had received the nickname, but she smiles and giggles a little remembering how she got it.

”Ithil, dear. What are you doing with cat?” Ithil’s short and beautiful Filipino mother asks as she sees her daughter petting and trying to have a conversation with the cat by meowing.

“I’m tawking to her, Mommy. She says that she likes me petting her.” Ithil replies while keeping her eyes connected on the cat as it purrs to her touch.

“Well, you are now ‘Kitty’. Come on, Kitty, we have to go to church.” Her mother’s loving and lost voice says sweetly while she waits for her youngest to stop petting the cat.

“Okay, Mommy.” She says before meowing at the cat and trying to say good-bye to it.

“Haha, that’s actually really cute. Do you remember your mom’s voice?” Matt asks while looking at her.

Ithil sighs and says, “No. I don’t even remember what my father’s voice sounds like and I barely know what my brother’s voice sounds like. I kinda know what my sister’s voice sound like because we used to talk on the phone a lot before I moved here.”

Matt looks down, feeling bad for his new friend. He never experienced anything that she has and doesn’t really know what to do besides be sympathetic.

“It’s okay though. I mean, I don’t regret anything that has happened in my life because I’m really glad that I got to meet you.” Ithil says while blushing and looking down. It brought a smile onto Matt’s face and he couldn’t really tell if she meant that in a friendly way or was hinting that she liked him. He didn’t really understand his own feelings for her, but he knew that he liked her more than a friend, what he didn’t know was if it was more of a sister-like or a girlfriend-like.

“What has happened in your life?” Matt was curious about her. He didn’t know much about her past and was curious about it. Ithil, however, was really hesitant to answer it. She didn’t know if she was ready to talk to him about her past, and she didn’t want him to think of her as a slut for what happened to her since society has a stigma on girls like her.

“I—I think it’s best we get to know each other a little better first. Maybe in a month or two I will tell you about my past.” Ithil says while looking down and feeling like her body is starting to sweat.

“Uh, okay.” Matt says as they begin their walk across the street to their neighborhood. Matt didn’t question it and began to understand that people have to gain Ithil’s trust in order to know more about her, so he just lets it be.

Ithil began to die, even though trees were starting to add some shade on them. She abruptly stops and sets her bag down, causing Matt to stop and wait for her. She takes off her hoodie and decides to tie it around her waist, not wanting to carry it. Matt’s eyes caught onto her scarred wrists and he began to question why he didn’t notice them the night they played video games together.

“You cut?” Matt asked in a worried tone. Ithil could tell that he actually cared about her and she begins to feel ashamed.

“I haven’t cut in over a week.” Ithil says while looking down. Matt began to feel like a different person around Ithil, but he also never had a friend that self-harmed before…or ever had a friend like Ithil before. She was reserved and always nervous, while his friends are outgoing and up for anything.

Ithil feels him gently putting his hand under her chin, a move he got from watching some chick flicks with his girlfriend one day, and looked at her with his current light blue eyes. “Don’t cut anymore.”

“I don’t…my therapist gave me a sketchbook to draw in instead.” Ithil says while looking into his eyes. They were swimming in care and concern about her safety which made her feel okay for once.

“So I’m assuming that the one I wrote my little notes in was that sketchbook?” Matt asks as they continue to walk.

“Yes, it was, and thanks for caring. It means a lot.” Ithil smiles at Matt causing him to smile back.

“Well, you’re one of my friends and I’d be sad to see you go.” Matt was being honest with his words and Ithil could tell…for once she was certain that he actually cared about her unlike her so-called friends in Florida where she was always questioning whether or not they were accepting her.

Ithil smiles and there is a bit of silence between them before Matt lightens the mood and says, “Tigger is going to love you.”

Ithil giggles, and replies, “Oh yeah? Tigger is a boy, right?”

“Yeah, he’s a cutie.” Matt smiles and pulls out his phone to show her a picture of his cat. She saw a grey cat with green eyes and black stripes on his face.

“Aw, precious baby. He’s so adowable,” Ithil says in a baby voice before returning to her regular voice, “I used to have a kitten name Zelda. She was a stray, but she was adorable.”

“What happened to her?” Matt asks as they pass her house.

“I had to give her up before we moved here.” Ithil replies sadly.

“Well, you can play with Tigger. I’m sure he’ll warm up to you.” Matt smiles at her and she smiles back, happy to have a kitty to pet and play with on occasion.

“I hope so.” Ithil says with a smile.

They walk for the next ten minutes and begin to talk on about random things, like the type of cheese they like and who are better between zombies and vampires. Matt was really starting to enjoy his time with Ithil and they have only been talking like this for twenty-five minutes since they left school.

“You’re crazy! Zombies can’t handle vampires.” Ithil say as they walk up to his house.

“Oh whatever. Psh.” Matt says while exaggerating the “sh” as he opens the door before blowing out his tongue and making noises.

Ithil laughs at his immaturity, enjoying it. She hasn’t really met anyone that was like Matt, remembering that all of the people she hung out with were the partiers and the ones that wanted to grow up fast: the ones that were fake as can be and thought too highly of themselves, the ones she resented.

Matt closes the door behind them as Ithil takes a look at the house. The layout was similar to her house, but it was a lot more homey and comfortable. The furniture was cloth, but nice, and the house was only a little messy, but she expected that from a family that seemed to be very involved with each other; a family she used to have.

“Tigger.” Matt says while looking for the grey cat that Ithil had seen a picture of.

A cat meowed and walked out from the corner of the living room. The cat saw Ithil and stopped in his tracks, making Ithil frown a bit.

“Don’t take it personally, he’ll warm up to you.” Matt says while walking up to the cat and picking him up.

“Okay,” Ithil says while smiling weakly and walking over to the cat gingerly.

Matt was petting the cat, causing him to pur and Ithil did the same while saying, “Aren’t you a handsome kitty.”

Tigger began rubbing his hand against her hand and she smiles.

“Told you he’d warm up to you.” Matt says before putting his cat down and continuing to show her his house.

They walk upstairs and Ithil quickly finds out where the bathroom, his parent’s room, his brother’s room, and his room. She nods and begins to walk into his room as he sets his bag down. She sees the posters from his work (mostly the Taco Bell portion of his work), some movie posters, his computer, his television on his TV stand and his futon.

“Your room is tiny.” Ithil says with a smile at the neat room.

“You’re tiny.” Matt shoots back while taking his shoes off and leaving the door open.

“Yeah, I know. I’m supposed to be, I’m Asian, remember?” Ithil says while sitting down on the futon and taking out the movie.

“Oh, right.” Matt says while turning on his Xbox and putting out his hand to grab the movie from her.

Ithil hands him the DVD and he puts it in before asking her if she wants anything.

“Water please.” Ithil says.

“Do you want any cookies?” He begins to walk out of his room, but was still able to hear Ithil accept his offer.

Ithil smiles and takes off her Converse before sitting Indian style and waiting for Matt to come back before starting the movie.

“This is working out smoothly.” Ithil thinks to herself mainly thinking about her comfort level of being alone with Matt. Before, she was terrified of having someone knowing where she lives and sleeps, but as the week moved on Ithil became more comfortable with Matt and being around him. “Maybe I should take Abbey up on that offer to hang out with her some weekend.”



Somewhere between his mom coming home from work and the end of Final Fantasy VII: Advert Children, Ithil found herself snuggling with Matt and Tigger. Matt didn’t really understand how it happened either, but he’s pretty sure that he’s the one that put his arm around her and pulled her in closer.

Ithil felt comfortable snuggling next to Matt, but she knew that this was wrong and pulled away once the credits stopped.

“So, what do you think?” Ithil asks while grabbing the game controller and making it go back to the Main Menu.

“It was good, and I think Tigger liked it too.” Tigger meows and makes Ithil giggle as she gets up.

“Well, I’m glad you liked it Tigger.” Ithil says while taking the DVD out and putting it back in the case.

“Wanna play Mortal Kombat?” Matt asks while standing up.

“Yes, we need to battle because we weren’t able to last time.” She sits back on the futon and puts the movie back in her bag before noticing Jake walk by. “Hey Jake.”

“Oh, hey Ithil. What are you doing here?” Jake asks before stopping at the door.

“Watching movies and now playing Moral Kombat.” Ithil replies while Matt hands her the other controller, “Thank you.”

“Oh, okay. Well, see ya later.” Jake walks away as Matt takes his spot and begins the game.

“See ya.” Ithil says while starting to get in the game mode. Ithil can be quite competitive, but so can Matt.

For a few hours, or until Matt’s mom said that dinner was ready, Ithil and Matt have been “competitively” gaming both playfully getting into the fight between their main choices, Scorpion and Mileen; but, it didn’t seem to get in the way of their friendship and joked about the fatalities.

“I will use my sais against you!” Ithil says while putting on her shoes and grabbing her bag. She didn’t want to be a bother during their family time, and the scars on her wrist would be visible to his family.

“Psh, I can kill you with my Toasty!” Matt says while pretending to take off his mask.

“That is a pretty freaky fatality.” Ithil says while getting up and putting on her hoodie.

“Are you leaving?” Matt asks while standing up.

“Yeah, I feel like I’d be intruding.” Ithil says honestly while walking out of his room.

“Okay, hey Mom! Ithil’s leaving!” Matt yells while stepping in front of Ithil and walking in front of her.

“Oh, why? You can stay for dinner.” Mrs. Gibson says while looking at Ithil from the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a bother.” Ithil says as they reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, no. You won’t be a bother at all. We’re having hamburgers for dinner.” Mrs. Gibson says while walking back into the kitchen.

“Well, okay, if you insist.” Ithil says shyly, still not completely sure that it’s okay if she can stay over for dinner.

“Dude, it’s okay, you’re not a bother.” Matt says trying to comfort her.

“Okay, then.” Ithil says while timidly walking over to the table with Matt close behind. She saw Jake scarfing down his hamburger and fries while their dad was talking to their mom about something. “Thank you for letting me have dinner with you.”

“It’s not a problem, Ithil.” Mr. Gibson says while letting his mustached face turn into a smile.

Ithil smiles back and takes a spot between Jake and Matt, allowing Matt to serve himself first before serving herself.

During the dinner, she observed Matt’s family and smiles as they tease each other openly in front of her. She was starting to feel comfortable to be around his family and they were treating her like she was a part of the family. They shared embarrassing stories, and how Matt doesn’t drive because he was hit by a car three times.

“Oh wow, poor kid.” Ithil says while rubbing her hand against Matt’s hair.

“I’m pretty invincible though.” Matt says while flexing his arms causing Ithil to shake her head.

“You’re lucky.” Mr. Gibson says while getting up from the table, humbling his son.

“Matty-san, promise me you won’t get hit by a car again.” Ithil says using her anime-girl voice, making Jake and Matt laugh.

“Haha, okay I promise. I barely even ride a bike anymore.” Matt says while looking at her and standing up.

Ithil stands up and grabs her plate as well as the glass that was given to her during dinner, walking to the kitchen and telling them that she should go home.

“Oh, let Matt walk you home.” Mrs. Gibson said while starting to put away left over food.

“Okay.” Ithil says while walking to the door.

“Let me get my jacket and put some shoes on.” Matt says while running up the stairs.

“Thank you again for having me over.” Ithil says before hearing the sound of Matt running down the stairs.

“It’s no problem, you are welcome to come over anytime.” Mrs. Gibson says with a smile as Matt comes to the door.

Ithil smiles and opens the door, saying good-bye to Matt’s family before they leave and begin their journey to her house. It was cold out and Ithil was grateful to have her hoodie on. They began the conversation home commenting on the weather and how pretty it is at night. Ithil has always enjoyed the night time, but it made her feel wary when she was alone—especially after what happened in Florida.

“What’s Florida like during this time of year?” Matt asks randomly.

“Humid and warm.” Ithil says plainly.

“Sounds nice, except for the humid part.” Matt says with a smile.

“Yeah, I miss California. It was really nice.”

“Wait, you lived in California?” Matt asks, slightly confused and remembering that she had told him about how her sister lives in California, but not her.

“Yeah, I’m from a small city called Redding and it was beautiful. When we lived there, we were surrounded by mountains and there were tons of trees and hills. Kinda like here...except you don’t have hills or mountains.” Ithil explains feeling nostalgic about her memory of her hometown even though she hasn’t lived there in seven years. She remembers the smell of the trees and the snow on Mount. Shasta where she got to make fresh snow cones with untainted snow.

Sighing, Ithil wishes she could go back to that place. Matt could tell and smiles at her, having an idea even though he hates nature.

“I can show you nature here, as much as I hate it.” Matt says while making an angry face and shaking his fist at a tree. Ithil just giggles and says, “Okay, well I’ll make sure nothing happens between you and nature.”

“Okay, we can hang out Sunday and I’ll show you my favorite places to go.” Matt says with a smile.

Matt making plans with Ithil made her extremely happy. She was happy that he was so willing to spend time with her, instead of hanging out with his girlfriend. “That’s probably what tomorrow is about.” Ithil thinks to herself.

“Okay cool. I’m excited to invade your favorite places, even though you hate nature.” Ithil giggles.

“Come over my house at eleven.” Matt says while they come up to Ithil’s house.

“Okay, I definitely will,” Ithil says while stopping in his tracks, “well I can walk the rest of the way alone. Bye, Matty.” She hugs him and he hugs her back without question.

“Bye, Ithie. I’ll see you Sunday.” He says before they pull away from each other.

“See ya.” She walks away and hears him walk away towards his house.

Ithil was extremely excited that she would be able to hang out with each other again, this time outside the house and having the ability to be herself without worrying that he wouldn’t like her because so far she sees that he’s really enjoying her company.

Walking into the house, Ithil sees Jane and Jim sitting in the living room and watching some television.

“How was your time with Matt?” Jane asks.

“It was nice, he’s going to show me around Sunday.” Ithil replies happily while standing outside of the living room.

“Oh, that’s wonderful, sweetie.” Jim says with a huge smile.

“Yeah, well I’m going to go do some homework.” Ithil says while moving towards the stairs.

“Okay.” Jane and Jim say as she walks away.

The happy girl runs up the stairs and heads right to her room to do exactly what she said she was going to do. She hasn’t felt this happy in a long time and she was grateful for Matt being in her life.

“I have to tell my sister about this!” Ithil says excitedly while stopping herself in the middle of her working on her World History homework.

She quickly gets on the computer and logs onto her AIM, only to see that her sister isn’t online.

“Of course you’re never online when I wanna talk to you.” Ithil says to herself by starting to type of the message anyways.

xIthieKittyx: I can’t believe you’re not one when I need you the most!
xIthieKittyx: Oh well, anyways, I’m hanging out with a guy and I’m not at all freaked out by it! Isn’t it great?!?

Ithil returns to go back to her homework; it was a good night for her.