Same Old Routine, Until It Changed...

I am not the outgoing type of girl, that’s for sure. My friends were always whining at me to ‘go out,’ ‘have fun’ ... ‘meet someone.’
Truth be told I would love to meet someone. I would like nothing more than to be able to come home and cuddle up on the sofa with someone and watch crappy TV or an awesome horror film or even to battle it out on the x-box.
My problem is, I hate going out to meet people and although I can tell they try not to but as all of my friends are all parts of a couple I tend to feel left out. Like the odd number of sweets in a shared bag. It was a feeling that I really despised throughout my life I had often felt like a third wheel and yet always involved kind of, but when you are out in a bar or a club it is just ... different. The only place I ever truly feel comfortable is when i am at a gig. I don’t know what it is whether it is because I know that I have something in common with the people around me or if it simply because I am around music and that is the thing I love the most and the purely intense feeling of hearing a band play live is like nothing else I could ever describe.
It is definitely not that i dislike talking to people I don’t know because that is what I do as my job. I work as a steward at festivals and gigs. - It was all over the country to start with, but I loved London that much that I just had to move here. - My only thought that could be what is mostly behind my hatred for going out is all the terrible stories that you hear that happen in clubs, the sleazy men that you hear your friends telling you about that started acting inappropriately but you still couldn’t get rid of. Maybe they just weren’t my scene, I wasn’t a fan of the kinds of music they played in those places anyway. I hated the vibe they gave on in bars and clubs, all the people that are purely and simply there to get drunk and go home with the first person they take a fancy to. I am aware that not everyone goes for these reasons but I just don’t like it.
However I am in fact God damn lonely and the only thing in my one bedroom flat I have to keep me company is music, my cat Poppy (princess) and my laptop - of which most of the time I spend on a 30 Seconds to Mars forum, where I often chat to a few people that I have gotten to know through there. I find it enthralling talking to friends all over the world, especially when you have something so great in common. Mars.
My flat was only a little small one bedroom with a pretty decent sized kitchen and enough space for Poppy to run around and have fun when I’m not there, I am very suspicious that she actually just sleeps on my bed until I get home. My flat was right in the middle of London so it was great to get anywhere, and it was highly interesting to just stare out of the window at the passing people in their own personal world, hurrying to wherever they had to be. I always had music on in the flat. Sometimes to the point where my upstairs and downstairs neighbors would bang on the ceiling/floor for me to turn it down. Occasionally it would even leave one or both turning up at my door asking me to turn it down because i haven’t heard them banging. My neighbor in the flat opposite is a single lady, lives alone like I do, 37 no children. She is deaf and from when I moved in I learnt that she could lip read however after speaking to her for a fair few weeks I decided to take up sign languages classes and I think I am doing very well. Occasionally Dawn will laugh at me if I have signed something wrong but on the whole we have great conversations now and I am proud of myself for doing it.

‘I’m finally home Princess.’ I call as soon as I step through the door of my flat. I just have time to hang up my leather jacket and chuck my bag on the door as my baby comes running for me and purrs as she weaves in and out of my legs rubbing her head on my ankles. ‘Hello baby, how are you?’ I coo while I pick her up and kick off my work boots. leaving them by the door where I will need them for tomorrow. She butted my face with her head purring very loudly in my ear. I loved my cat. More than you should love a cat really but she was my company in this otherwise lonely flat. I flipped on the TV as i walked through the living room. Kerrang! TV same as I always leave it on, Almost easy by Avenged Sevenfold was on, nearly half way through but whatever I started singing along walking into the kitchen to get a bowl of Lucky charms. (Yes I know they are an American cereal but they are just too nice, and yes I do pay almost £8 a box for them but they are so worth it) and to complete this part of my daily routine I turned my laptop on and waited for it to load. As soon as it did I clicked for Safari where it came up with a grid of my top 12 favourite websites. Clicking the square that took me to the Mars forum I had another mouthful of cereal. There were 123 new posts on the site from yesterday. Selecting the first one I read through while eating my cereal and having a bubbling pit of jealousy in my stomach. This girl that had written this post had described that while shopping and browsing the Hot Topic in Los Angeles Westside Pavilion Mall she met Jared leto!!!
Jared Leto the incredible singer of 30 Seconds to Mars. He had the kind of voice that could melt ice but then at the same time send waves of chills down your spine. He had a soft and gentle voice but with the most amazing rasping and huskiness that I have ever heard. He was my idol. Not only did he always follow and pursue his dreams but he also encouraged the Echelon (Name for the fan base/family) to do the same. The whole band did in fact. Jared, Shannon - Jared’s brother - and Tomo. They had a very meaningful moto ... ‘Provehito in Altum’ - which roughly translated from latin means ‘Launch forth into the deep.’ They really are a band that are truly interested in helping their fans. There are a few other bands I can think of like that, that treat their fan base as a family, and want to help them and make incredible music as apose to some acts that are just doing it for the money and don’t really care about their fans. Ton name a few inspirational bands, My Chemical Romance, Avenged Sevenfold, Black Veil Brides etc.
By the time I had read that article and almost cried for wishing that something, anything like that would ever happen to me.(Selfish as that sounds its true, nothing even remotely like that ever happens to me.) I had finished my cereal and had been chatting with some of my friends from the site. Cassie from Canada and Adam form Germany. They were lovely people and iI loved talking to them.
I came across another article titled ‘Mars are great? WHY?’ Without even having read the article I was upset. It was like someone questioning a deeply religious person about all that they believed in. I clicked the link wondering what ‘BCout’ had to say.

‘Okay so as I understand all of you ‘Echelon’ are some sort of ‘cult’ that quite intensely/insanely hang on every word that your ‘leaders’ (Jaret, Shantai and Tom?) have to say. I just have one question to you all. WHY? What is the point?’

After reading it I was actually quite annoyed and frustrated with this person. Tapping the comment box I started to type furiously in reply to this.

‘Dear ‘BCout’ I understand that you obviously don’t know much about the band or the Echelon for that matter. I suppose you could say that a great deal of ‘us’ rely on and almost hang on the words of the band and we love and the members, Jared, Shannon and Tomo. The band clearly mean a lot to all of us and when the men of Mars ask of us for something we are instantly trying ti help them or find a way that we maybe able to help them. We do this to show our gratitude, our loyalty, trust and our willingness to help in the same way that they have done for us time and time again.
Now speaking personally I can say that 30 Seconds to Mars, their music and the inspirational words from the members of the band have helped me through the roughest times of my life. There is always something from them that shows even if they don’t know us all individually, they care about everyone of their fans. I find these men the most amazing and awe inspiring people. They never cease to amaze me with their kindness and their gratitude for the simple things in life. Unlike so many people all over the world, they don’t take things for granted, they appreciate everything they have and do their best to show that. Oh and last but certainly not least, without them, the band and the people they are I wouldn’t be a part of the amazing Echelon family and that is something that i am very thankful for and feel privileged to be a part of.
Yes to someone who doesn’t understand it I can see it may seem to be a strange concept but to us, it is so natural. I hope that this has bought you an understanding of an Echelons point of view and answered the questions that you came here with. I hope that if you so wish, you find a family that is as amazing and supportive as the Echelon, because if you do you will then truly understand what it all means to us.

P.S. I speak on my behalf and these are the thought and points of view I have. I have used the terms ‘us’ and ‘we’ etc but I do not wish for anyone to think that I am trying to speak for them and if I have spoken out of turn or upset/offended you, then i am truly sorry and wish that you will take my sincerest apologies.’

POST!

I looked back to the post that I had just sent and couldn’t believe how much i had written. I didn’t feel as though I answered that persons questions very well. I was worried that I had not done the Echelon or the band justice with my words.
I left my computer on whilst I went to get changed into my PJ’s and make a cup of coffee.
I was just pouring the milk in my coffee when I heard a ping from my laptop. I knew it wasn’t Cassie or Adam as they had both left. ‘Ooh I bet it’s Skylar.’ I thought to myself running into the living room and almost jumping on the couch very nearly spilling my coffee. I was so excited to talk to Skylar it had been a few days as she has been trying to get lots of work done and out the way so that when she had the school holiday coming up in a few weeks she could come visit me. She did only live in Kent after all which isn’t far from me.
When i nudged my mouse awakening my laptop, it wasn’t who I was expecting. It was ‘BCout’.