Crossbow Hearts

The past few nights I’d cried. It was stupid. We were all going to die one by one. Whether by illness, or accident or from being bitten. So why I was so affected by Alan’s death I didn’t know. I did know why I was angry at Donna though. How dare she take her own life?! The day after Alan passed we found her in the library she’d hung herself. Now little Susie was all alone. She’d woken briefly not long after her mother, Donna had been found. Hershel had managed to get her to eat a little and take some water before she drifted out of consciousness again. It was the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. So I got up and walked out of my cell. I walked down into A block no one had moved down here yet, I think everyone was kind of waiting for something bad to happen again so they preferred to stay close together. And that’s when I heard them. Julie and Chris.
“How are we going to do it?” Julie said.
“We’ll pull the trigger at the same time, but only if you’re sure though.”
“Of course I am Chris. I don’t wanna live like this anymore. This isn’t really living. We’re just waiting to die. Like Rick said we’re all infected just waiting to die and become one of them.” Julie said calm as anything. There was no way I was allowing this to happen, enough lives had been lost. I pushed into the room.
“Don’t you dare!” I shouted, but I was a fraction to late as Chris pulled the trigger shooting Julie. “NO!” I dropped to her side. “You fucking idiot! Get HERSHEL!” But he just sat there rocking backwards and forwards. “Julie stay with me!” I cried grabbing the blanket they had been sitting on and holding it to her wound as Tyreese burst into the room.
“No. No. No Julie!” He pulled her from my arms into his as her eyes closed Rick rushing into the room.
“Tyreese? Jamie?!” I just shook my head.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Chris whispered.
“What did you do?!! What did you do to my little girl?!” I sat there in shock. If I had only walked straight in I could have stopped this.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be together forever. Fire at the same time. It was going to work. Together forever. I just pulled the trigger to fast…faster than her. Supposed to be at the same time. We were going to be together forever. Now I’m all alone…what have I done? Supposed to fire at the same time.” Chris was going into shock his voice was empty. What if it was because I had walked in? No if I hadn’t have walked in they’d both be dead.
“Come back to me baby. I don’t care how…just come back to me. Come back.” Tyreese sobbed holding on to Julie tightly.
“You don’t want that Tyreese, you don’t want her to be one of those things.” Rick said, but I knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.
“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about! She has to come back to me! She has to!” Tyreese shouted brandishing his gun in Rick’s direction.
“Tyreese he didn’t mean it. Just…” but I didn’t finish as Julie suddenly made a noise. Her body lurched upwards. Her mouth opening to bite Tyreese. I drew my gun, but I couldn’t shoot without hitting Tyreese too.
“Julie honey…” he grabbed her face holding her back as her mouth worked to bite him. “It’s me! It’s your father!” But all she did was grunt. It was heart wrenching how much Tyreese wanted his little girl back, the hope in his voice.
“Tyreese…get her head up so I get a clear shot!” I froze not knowing what to do.
“Don’t you pull that goddamn trigger! This is my baby girl! She’s ok let me talk with her! We’ve never tried that! We’ve never even tried to reason with them. Maybe…if I talk to her long enough, she’ll begin to understand again. If she starts to understand and then she…then my baby girl won’t be dead anymore.” I understood what he was saying and why he was saying it. I felt for him I really did, but Julie was gone.
“Tyreese she’s gone.” I told him softly.
“No she isn’t!” He shouted. I didn’t even see Chris move I only heard the gunshot and saw Julie’s head slump. Tyreese froze holding Julie’s body then he flipped. Dropping Julie and lunging at Chris.
“YOU! I’ll kill you!” he shouted knocking Chris to the floor and wrapping his hands around his throat.
“Tyreese! No!” Rick and I both shouted. Tyreese turned his head glaring at Rick. Rick just stood there and didn’t try to stop it. I pushed forward and grabbed Tyreese’s arm.
“Tyreese stop this! Don’t do this!” He shoved me and I wondered why Chris hadn’t tried to get free as I hit the floor.
“Stop just stop. He’s dead, Tyreese you killed him.” Rick was right, Tyreese had crushed his throat, strangled the life out of him. I looked up seeing Daryl and Merle in the door way.
“Yeah. Leave me. He’ll be coming back soon, and I’ll kill him again. Slower this time. I’ll burn them both tomorrow…first thing in the morning. We can talk about this then.” Rick just stood there for a moment unsure what to do. Then he left. I was still folded on the floor where Tyreese had shoved me. Merle went to speak, but words failed even him. So Daryl walked in and to me. Crouching beside me and wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to my feet. He guided me from the room and to his room. Merle following behind. He sat me down on the bed. I didn’t move didn’t say anything. I couldn’t wrap my head round what had happened. I knew what had happened, I just…they wanted to kill themselves.
“Jamie…” Daryl said quietly.
“I was too slow.”
“What do you mean?” Merle asked crouching in front of me.
“I heard them talking…I wasn’t sure…I mean I knew what they were saying, but I didn’t think they would. I walked into tell them to stop, but Chris…he just pulled the trigger. I tried to stop the bleeding.” I took in a shaky breath.
“Ain’t nothing you could have done about it princess. They wanted to end their lives and now they have.” Merle assured me. Daryl still had an arm round my waist.
“Merle’s right nothing you could have done.” I rested my head against his shoulder as Caleb came in.
“What’s happened?” He yawned.
“Nothing to worry about little man. Let’s get you back to bed.” Merle smiled at him and Caleb followed him from the room. I liked how Merle was with him. Merle didn’t have much time for Carl, but Caleb he liked. Daryl stroked my hair resting his head on top of mine.
“It’s just one thing after another.” I sighed.
“What?”
“First Carol and we leave Andrea. Then you get stabbed, Rachel is killed by that bastard. Dexter and Andrew try to make us leave. Alan gets bit and dies, Donna kills herself and now this. Why can’t we just catch a break.” I hugged Daryl’s waist.
“Cos that’d be too easy. But look at it this way. Andrea’s back and so is Merle. Caleb is safe and Susie well she’s getting better. We’re going to survive this the best we can.”
I woke up laid in Daryl’s arms Caleb looking intently at me.
“Hey sweetie, what’s wrong?” He cocked his head to the side.
“Are you and Daryl together?” I smiled at him. Daryl sitting up behind me and yawned.
“I guess we are little man.” He frowned almost confused.
“So does that make you…my parents now?” I laughed lightly.
“I’m er…” I didn’t know what to say for that.
“I guess that does.” Daryl supplied. I was stunned into silence, if Caleb had asked if I’d be his mom that would have been something entirely different, but asking Daryl and I, if we were his parents was something entirely different.
“Are you Susie’s mom and dad too? Cos Carl says he heard his mom and dad talking about how Alan wanted you two to look after her.” Daryl reached over me ruffling Caleb’s hair.
“If she wakes up I guess we will be.” Caleb smiled and then hugged me tight.
“I’m telling Carl I do have a mom and a dad!” He shouted running from the cell.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I sighed sitting up.
“Well it’s what he wants.”
“Yes, but if you don’t then what’s the point?” I was annoyed at how blasé he was about it.
“What does it matter?”
“Don’t answer my question with a question. If you don’t want to take that responsibility then say so, don’t lead him on.” I stood quickly.
“Jamie…fuck you say I’m bad tempered?” He glowered at me.
“You are and I’m not. Caleb has never once in the time he’s been with me suggested that I’d be his mother, but you tell him we’re together and then suddenly he wants us to be his parents? And you say yes just to pacify him?” He looked down guiltily. God why did he have to be so awkward about his feelings?
“I didn’t mean for it to come across like that.” I sighed.
“It’s fine Daryl… I get it.” I turned kissed him and left into my cell. I was caked in dry blood having never cleaned up after last night with Julie and Chris. I needed to be alone for a little while get my head together, so much death in such a quick succession was just a little too much for me.
I had just finishing changing from my shower when I noticed Michonne.
“It’s good to be able to get clean again.” I nodded at her.
“It is, I guess you didn’t come at a good time. People dying left and right.” I sighed.
“It happens, you’re Jamie right?” She asked walking a little toward me.
“Yeah, Michonne?” She nodded and took my offered hand.
“I think you’re all doing well if here, with what you’ve got and what you’ve been through you’re all holding up pretty well. I hope I can help keep this little sanctuary you have going.”
“I hope so too. Maybe everyone can put the last few weeks behind them and we can start to move on and except life here.” I smiled softly. Had we finally found a little peace and safety at last?