Crossbow Hearts

Daryl
I stood looking at Jamie. My throat was tight, my eyes stung and my chest hurt. Jamie was dying, I couldn’t protect her, I promised Caleb that she would always be safe that she’d always come back. I saw that she was crying, but I couldn’t move. Merle pulled his gun out and pointed it at Jamie, she just sat there she was going to let him shoot her. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t let him. I tackled my brother to the floor. I wouldn’t let him kill Jamie.
“Daryl! Stop it!” She screamed trying to pull me from my brother. “I’m dead any way. One way or another. I’m dead.” I stopped looking at her.
“What the hell is going on out here?” I heard Rick shout, but I was focused on Jamie.
“Jamie, you were bitten last night, there’s no signs of the virus.” She shook her head sadly.
“That doesn’t mean anything Daryl she’s bitten end of.” Merle huffed getting back to his feet.
“She’s bitten?” Rick asked shocked.
“Yes, but she’s fine we can all see that!” I shouted anger taking over. She stepped closer to me she looked so defeated so empty she placed her hand gently on my cheek.
“Daryl, it’s only a matter of time. Don’t do this to yourself, just you and Merle promise to take care of Susie and Caleb.” I took her hand.
“No.” I dropped to my knees lifting her shirt looking at the bite. “It’s healing, Jim’s never healed. Amy turned within hours, Jim within 16. They all show signs. Jamie isn’t, Jamie you aren’t showing signs of infection.” Her hands went to my hair.
“It doesn’t mean a thing Daryl, everyone that’s bitten turns.” She pulled away from me, Rick hadn’t moved. “Merle give me the gun, I’ll do it myself. I don’t want any of you to have to do it.”
“No, Daryl’s right. We can’t afford to lose people. Not now and if we can help ever again. You aren’t showing signs. You know as well as we do the symptoms, are flu like, you go numb, you look like hell and you aren’t like that at all.” But Jamie just shrugged as if it didn’t matter.
“Jamie, are you listening?” I wanted to shake her make her understand. “Maybe you’re the exception, maybe you’re immune.”
“Oh yeah how convenient would that be?” Merle scoffed. “Daryl you can’t wish this right. Jamie knows she’s going to turn so accept it. Say good bye and let her go.”
“But he doesn’t have to!”
“He does Rick, it’s over,” She shouted she’d moved to Merle and he handed her the gun. I watched as if in slow motion as she pulled the gun up to her head. But Thorn suddenly appeared careening into Jamie and pinning her to the ground. Then Rick moved.
“Help me get her up, we’ll stick her in a cell in A block. Lock it up make sure there’s nothing she can hurt herself with. If she turns we can take care of her….but if she’s fine then we don’t lose her.” But Jamie wasn’t going to go quietly. She screamed, she kicked, she thrashed as Rick, Thorn and I carried her inside.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I won’t let her kill herself.” Thorn said as we dropped Jamie into the cell. The door slammed shut just as she flew at it.
“Don’t do this…please.” She begged her eyes filling with tears. Rick steered Thorn away.
“We have to it’s for your own good. How do you think I would feel if you were fine and we let you kill yourself?” She slid down to the floor her hands round the bars of the cell. “Jamie…” I put my hands on hers to comfort her, but she pulled away going to the corner of the cell her back to me. I wanted to be in there with her and make her understand, but I didn’t know how to say it, I didn’t know what words to say. Because I was a dump ass red neck who didn’t know how to deal with fucking emotions.
Jamie
I hated them, all of them in that first hour in the cell. Daryl was sat just outside, he had been watching me, but had fallen asleep, he was still recovering. I’d calmed down now and I understood why he, they had done it. If it had been Daryl in my shoes I’d have done the same thing. But I didn’t want him or anyone else to have to put me down. I didn’t want them to see me turn into a walker. Especially if Caleb came looking for me. If he came in here, what if he came in while I died and came back? It would scar him for life. So I sat in my corner. My arms wrapped round my legs, my head resting on my knees. I heard footsteps and looked up to see Spark, what could she want? Then I saw the gun and knew she would kill me. I smiled as I stood up my hands out at my sides fingers spread as I walked to the cell door.
“You’re going to want to high tail out of here once you do it. Daryl won’t be happy when that gun goes off.” She looked at me and down at the gun before tucking it in her waist band.
“I ain’t here to kill you. I figured you’d have turned by now, so I was going to kill a walker, but you’re still alive and kicking.” She eyed me curiously. “Thorn’s right ain’t no signs of the walker showing. You look healthy as the day we met.”
“What are you talking about Spark? Just kill me do it now!” I snapped exasperated with everyone why couldn’t someone just kill me?
“You aren’t going to turn. Thorn says the bite’s healing, walker bites don’t heal. They look infected right up till you turn and then it don’t matter what you look like.” I’d tried to wrap it up the best I could after I was dumped in here. So when I pulled my shirt up it just unravelled. Spark crouched and peered in the best she could, then she touched round the edges. I winced as it was still sore, but let her continue to poke at it. “No this is definitely healing. Its scabbed over, sure its bled, but you’ve tore it open.”
“Why does everyone keep saying it?! I’m dying no amount of wishful thinking is going to change that.”
“Why do you want to die so much? Have you thought it’s you that’s got it all wrong? You’re so sure that you’re dying you just want it to end now, but open your damn eyes. You’re fine, no signs of infection at all.” She grabbed my shirt pulling me closer to the cell door anger in her eyes. “But you’re so willing to die. It’s selfish. You want what you want and fuck everyone else. You have so much to live for, that kid, him,” She pointed to Daryl. “His brother all these people care about you and you just want to leave them all? You’re a selfish bitch.” She pushed me back I stumbled and fell on my ass and then she walked off leaving me stunned. Was I really being that selfish? Was I not doing the right thing in wanting to die? Surely it was better to die while I was still me…but if they were right and I wasn’t turning, I was just ok with giving up and dying then maybe I was selfish. Caleb needed me and in a way so did Daryl. I was a big part of this group now and I was willing to leave them a capable fighter short. I picked myself up and laid on the bed curling up. My last thought as I drifted off was that I hoped they were all right.