Caving In

Matt’s knee bounced impatiently on the tile floor, his thumbs taping a random beat on the plastic arms of his chair. He shifted uncomfortably, his eyes scanning the posters around the room. I bit back my giggle, “Are you okay? I questioned looking up from the magazine I had been reading.

Matt looked to me quickly, clearing his throat as his ran his sweaty palms on his jeans, “Uh yeah…I-I’m good,” he stuttered slightly.

I smiled, closing the magazine and tossing it to the table in front of us, “Nervous?”

“Very,” he admitted. “Is it that obvious?”

I nodded, “Very.”

He sighed, grabbing my hand before turning back to the posters and studying them carefully. I watched him silently, waiting for the moment when panic would fill those hazel eyes. “This shouldn’t be so scary,” he mumbled quietly.

“It’s your first time at one of these things, it’s perfectly okay to be scared, baby,” I reminded him, leaning into his shoulder.

He relaxed a little, before exhaling loudly, “I shouldn’t be though. I should be as comfortable as you are. This shouldn’t be my first time at an appointment like this when we just dropped our little boy off at school.”

“Matt, stop it,” I demanded, pulling away from him. I was sick of hearing his nonstop guilt. I had forgiven him long ago; it was time he did the same. “Stop beating on yourself about what happened nearly seven years ago. This is supposed to be a happy time, a fresh start.”

Matt shook his head, “I can’t.”

“Well you need to,” I snapped, releasing his hand. “You are a different person now-”

“If you really believed that,” he interrupted. “You wouldn’t have been so scared to tell me about this baby.”

I stopped, falling silent. Was he right?

A door to our left opened, a plump old lady stepping through with rosy cheeks and glasses with lenses that looked an inch thick. “Albany?”

“That’s me,” I announced, standing up, Matt following quickly.

“Great,” the woman smiled. “My name is Cheryl. I’m going to lead you back to an exam room and then I’ll send the doctor into see you; he’s with another patient right now.”

Matt grunted loudly from behind me, rolling his eyes. “He’s a guy?”

Cheryl seemed oblivious, keeping her eyes forward as she led us to the room. “Yes, he is a man,” I hissed, glaring over my shoulder. “He delivered Mason. Is that okay?”

“Okay, this is your room,” Cheryl smiled broadly, holding the door open for us. “Dr. Johnson will be with you in just a moment.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled, waiting for her to close the door behind her. “What is your problem?” I questioned Matt when the coast was clear. He shrugged his shoulders, sitting down in a chair against the wall. “Bullshit,” I groaned, climbing up onto the exam table.

“Fine,” he nearly growled. “I don’t like another guy down in my business.”

I laughed loudly, “Your business, Matt?”

Matt tried to fight off the smile, “Damn right my business. You’re my woman, and that’s my baby.”

A knock sounded through the small examination room, my heart leaping into my throat as the door cracked open slightly to reveal the white haired doctor. “Albany,” he greeted, “How is little Mason?”

I smiled, “He’s doing great. He started kindergarten today.”

“Wonderful,” his wrinkled face delighted with the news. He turned to Matt, “Hello, I’m Dr. Benjamin Johnson. You must be Matt.”

Matt’s eyes widened in surprise, “How’d you know?”

“Your son has those same eyes,” the old man chuckled; Matt relaxed instantly, a smug grin plastered on his face. “So Albany, you think you’re pregnant again?”

I swallowed slightly, nodding. “Yes.”

Dr. Johnson nodded, taking notes on his clipboard. “Would mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“Not at all,” I agreed, giggling quietly to myself as I watched Matt’s eyes flick back and forth between the doctor and I.

“Okay, what are your symptoms?”

I sighed, “Well, I’ve missed two periods, I can’t seem to stop getting sick and I’ve gained weight, maybe close to ten pounds I think,” I rattled off, playing with my fingers.

“Did you have unprotected sex?”

I flushed slightly, glancing over at Matt as I nodded, “Yes, just about 2 months ago.”

“Are you taking any medications that can cause these symptoms to occur?”

“No.”

“How is your stress level since the fire? It was in May, correct?”

“Uh yes, May 29th. The stress has died down a lot though since then. I originally thought this was all stress related until recently when I miss yet another period. That’s only happened once before; when I was pregnant with Mace.”

“Have you taken an at home pregnancy test?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“The result?” he questioned, peering over the tops of his glasses.

“Positive.”

“Alright,” he exhaled loudly, clicking his pen. “We are going to conduct an in office test. The store bought home tests can sometimes produce a false positive. It will take about 25 minutes for the result to come through. Is there any place you have to be?”

“Not until 3,” I chuckled; looking at the clock to find out it was only half past noon.

“Fantastic,” Dr. Johnson stood from his chair, Matt rising quickly too to shake his hand.

“Thank you,” Matt said quietly.

“No problem, Son,” he smiled at the younger man. He turned to leave, glancing over his shoulder, “Albany, the nurse will be right in. I wish you the best of luck kiddo,” and with that he was gone.

Matt sighed loudly, falling back into the chair he had been glued to moments ago. “Everything okay, Stud?” I questioned, hoping down off the bed.

Matt pulled me onto his lap, throwing my arms around his neck. He shook his head, “I don’t think I can wait twenty-five minutes. I need to know now.”

I giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek softly before resting my head on his shoulder. “It’ll go by quickly,” I reminded him.

Matt’s fingers danced delicately over my lower stomach, “You want this, right? You’re not just doing this for me?” he questioned softly.

I pulled my head away, looking into his deep hazel eyes. “Like you said, I was surprised, but I’m happy. I’m happy we get to go through this together this time.”

He nodded, kissing my lips gently, “Everything’s going to work out, Allie, no matter what that test says. Today is a new day.”

***

“Knock, knock,” Dr. Johnson’s voice boomed from the other side of the door. He entered the little room quickly, a single paper in his hands. My test results. He took a seat on the stool near the computer, his eyes studying Matt and I. Matt’s hand grabbed mine tightly, our fingers entwined. “Congratulations you two, you are indeed expecting a new baby.”

The air slipped from my lungs. I know I had suspected it all along but hearing the words put the picture into perspective. There was a baby, a little boy or girl who in nine months would once again throw my life upside down; a good kind of upside down. “Wow,” I whispered, my hand instinctively flying to my abdomen.

Matt nodded beside me, his hand squeezing my own, “That’s great news, thank you so much,” Matt stood again to shake the doctor’s hand another time.

Dr. Johnson smiled widely, “I’ve prescribed some prenatal vitamins. You can pick them up at your pharmacy any time. Good luck to the both of you,” he slipped from the room silently.

Matt turned to grin at me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up from the mattress carefully, “I love you,” he mumbled, pressing his forehead to my own.

I sighed, relaxing completely for the first time in 7 years, “I love you too.”