Status: Finished!
Life as We Know It
24
Tonight was the last night of their tour. According to Kayli's twitter she is flying to California with them for her last week of Summer before she goes back to college. It's only been like 3 days since that day at the park but i miss her like crazy. She's been my best friend since Kindergarten so it's hard to just forget everything we've done together. But it was a really shitty thing she did to me and i just can't get over it. You just don't do that. Effecting two peoples life's like that. Yes okay i was keeping a secret from him, but that wasn't changing his life. I kept it from him so i didn't. But she not only changed my life by now feeling like shit and feeling ashamed, not worthy or anything. But also has changed his by now knowing that he is the father of two children. I wish everything was different. I wish i was with them. i wish i went on tour with them, i wish i was still dating him. But also i love Maui and Lakyn with all of my heart and i would never change having them, even if i could. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i love them to death. They have brought a whole new element to my life. I had to change my ways, i went from a girl to a mother. being a mom is the most wonderful feeling in the world and as i sit here looking over at my children sleeping i can't help but wonder what life brings and how everything is going to plan out. Is she going to become a cheerleader or dancer or even a math genius. Is he going to be the star football player or a musician. The world is theres and i can't wait to watch them grow.
It's May 23rd so they are now 4 months old. These past 4 months have flown by and i can't help but wonder how fast the years are just going to fly by. I was so caught up in my thoughts that when my door bell rang it nearly made me scream. But then i realised its 4am.. who is outside at my door at 4am. What if it's a murder. Wait why would a murder ring the door bell. I don't know but i'm suddenly scared for my life. But as i didn't answer it rang again. So i crept out of the nursery and down to the door. I peeked through the peep hole and couldn't believe my eyes. I opened the door and there stood Cameron.
"What are you doing here" I asked
" I had to see you" he said
"at 4 in the morning" i said kind of annoyed like it's 4 am who does that
"Yes, i have to do this" he said and leaned in and kissed me. It didn't register with him for a few seconds. Was this really happening. He pulled away when we heard a cry. I walked into the nursery and picked up Lakyn and went back into the Living room where Cameron now was.
"So why are you here" I asked trying not to sound rude
"I've done a lot of thinking in the past week. Really it's the only thing i've been thinking about. First i was mad and angry and just couldn't understand your reasoning. But the more i thought about it and thought back on the past year. I realised everything you were saying. My career was just picking up and going places and who knows where it would be if i did know. I also realized how hard it must have been to decided to do it alone. Try and raise a child on your own just to keep my dream going and that has to be the most unselfish thing someone has ever done for me"
"Every time i saw an interview or concert footgae of youtube. it made me think everything i was doing was right. That keeping it from you was right. Even all the way back to when i was in Cali and i saw the fans come up to you in six flags. I couldn't hurt them and i couldn't hurt your career, i didn't want to risk you loosing everything you worked so hard to get. Maybe if you already had a stable career i would have told you because it would have been easier to keep. But you were just starting and finding out a member is a father isn't a good look for a new band especially when they all think you are young and single"
"I know i understand now. But now that i do know please can we try again" he asked
"I don't know. i mean you still have everything at risk"
"I know and i'm willing to risk it or we can lie and say we've been together for a long time, i just had to act like i've been single because of contract"
"I don't know you live in Cali, i'm in Florida and another lie. i just don't know"
"why don't you sleep on it"
"sleep? theres no sleep in this house" I said looking down at Lakyn.
"Okay then just think about it" he said getting up
"where are you going" i asked
"To find a hotel"
"don't be stupid, it's 4 in the morning, juts go sleep in my bed, it's not like i use it" i said
"Are you sure"
"yes now go sleep you've just travelled down from New York straight after a show"
"So keeping up on where i am then huh" he said
"lucky guess" i said
another cry came so i got up and showed cameron my room as i went to put Lakyn down and switched to Maui.
It's May 23rd so they are now 4 months old. These past 4 months have flown by and i can't help but wonder how fast the years are just going to fly by. I was so caught up in my thoughts that when my door bell rang it nearly made me scream. But then i realised its 4am.. who is outside at my door at 4am. What if it's a murder. Wait why would a murder ring the door bell. I don't know but i'm suddenly scared for my life. But as i didn't answer it rang again. So i crept out of the nursery and down to the door. I peeked through the peep hole and couldn't believe my eyes. I opened the door and there stood Cameron.
"What are you doing here" I asked
" I had to see you" he said
"at 4 in the morning" i said kind of annoyed like it's 4 am who does that
"Yes, i have to do this" he said and leaned in and kissed me. It didn't register with him for a few seconds. Was this really happening. He pulled away when we heard a cry. I walked into the nursery and picked up Lakyn and went back into the Living room where Cameron now was.
"So why are you here" I asked trying not to sound rude
"I've done a lot of thinking in the past week. Really it's the only thing i've been thinking about. First i was mad and angry and just couldn't understand your reasoning. But the more i thought about it and thought back on the past year. I realised everything you were saying. My career was just picking up and going places and who knows where it would be if i did know. I also realized how hard it must have been to decided to do it alone. Try and raise a child on your own just to keep my dream going and that has to be the most unselfish thing someone has ever done for me"
"Every time i saw an interview or concert footgae of youtube. it made me think everything i was doing was right. That keeping it from you was right. Even all the way back to when i was in Cali and i saw the fans come up to you in six flags. I couldn't hurt them and i couldn't hurt your career, i didn't want to risk you loosing everything you worked so hard to get. Maybe if you already had a stable career i would have told you because it would have been easier to keep. But you were just starting and finding out a member is a father isn't a good look for a new band especially when they all think you are young and single"
"I know i understand now. But now that i do know please can we try again" he asked
"I don't know. i mean you still have everything at risk"
"I know and i'm willing to risk it or we can lie and say we've been together for a long time, i just had to act like i've been single because of contract"
"I don't know you live in Cali, i'm in Florida and another lie. i just don't know"
"why don't you sleep on it"
"sleep? theres no sleep in this house" I said looking down at Lakyn.
"Okay then just think about it" he said getting up
"where are you going" i asked
"To find a hotel"
"don't be stupid, it's 4 in the morning, juts go sleep in my bed, it's not like i use it" i said
"Are you sure"
"yes now go sleep you've just travelled down from New York straight after a show"
"So keeping up on where i am then huh" he said
"lucky guess" i said
another cry came so i got up and showed cameron my room as i went to put Lakyn down and switched to Maui.