Life as We Know It

Todays the day. Todays the day Cameron flys back to California.
I woke up heartbroken just knowing that the person lying next to me wont be here tomorrow morning or the morning after that. I don't even know the next time i'll be in his arms.
I left him sleeping and went into the living room, his bag was packed at the door, just starring at me like "i'm going and never will be back"
I went into the kitchen and made waffles, it was like a singal. As soon as i put the plate on the table Cameron emerged from the bedroom.
"Morning" he said
"Morning" i replied
Never one of us really knew what to say so we at in silence. Well i more pushed the waffle round my plate before putting it in the trash. I got changed into sweatpants and put my hair up in a pun, my appearance was going to match my mood. depressed.
Cameron wanted to do everything for the twins, feed, bath, clothes, everything. I guess as he knew he didn't know the next time he would. He wanted to and i didn't stop him.

i was sitting in the living room, holding back my tears. This was the day i dread. The way i'm feeling is what i didn't want to feel. This is why i didn't want to get attached to him again because i feel like shit.
"Come here" he said as he walked into the living room
i got up and hugged him tight and i let the tears flow out.
"Everything will be fine" he said
"How do you know, we don't even know when we'll next see each other"
"As soon as i get back, i'm going to get them to figure out our schedule and i will let you know the earliest i can come back"
"It's just not going to be the same without you"
"i'll be back sooner than you think i promise"
"we should probably head out"I said looking at the clock on the wall.
he squeezed me tight and kissed me before letting go. We picked the twins up out of their cribs and headed out the door. Cameron grabbing his bag on the way out.
We took the trip up to Tampa. WE decided it would be better for him to fly out of Tampa, then i can go hang out with Kayli afterwards to get my mind of things.
The drive up seemed to be a lot quicker than normal and before i knew it i was pulling into the airport parking lot.
i got the stroller out of the trunk but Cameron wanted to carry them in. I brought the stroller anyways and dragged his suitcase behind me.
we went to the checkout desk and he placed Lakyn on the desk as he checked in
"Aren't you a big boy sitting up there" i said
"They are too cute, how old are they" the girl at the desk said
"Nearly 8 months" Cameron said
"So cute, my baby girl is a year tomorrow, time goes way fast"
"really well happy birthday to her" I said
"there you go have a safe flight" she said handing him his boarding card.
Next stop security. The part i'm dreading the most.
We walked over to the security point, Cameron still carrying the twins
"Daddys going to miss you" he said kissing the top of the head before putting them in the stroller.
Here come the tears, i looked up from the floor and met his eyes. he pulled me into a hug, i held onto him so tight. i just didn't want to let go. We stood there for what felt like hours but was only a couple minutes
"i have to go" he whispered
"No" i replied
"come with me then"
"I can't"
i looked up at him and kissed him, we kissed with so much emotion. Who knows when the next time our lips will touch. He pulled away, i hated him for it.
"I really have to go" he said with such saddens
"I know" i barely got out
"I'll see you soon okay i promise"
"yeah"
"bye, i love you'
"i love you too"
"daddy loves you" he said to the twins before walking to the security line. I watched him move down the line, through security. He took one last look before disappearing.
I found a bench and just sat, i let the tears roll down my face. i didn't care that people were walking passed starring at me. I was heartbroken. I didn't know what to do.
"Oh Kennedy" i heard
i looked up at there was Kayli
"How did you get here" i asked
"My mom dropped me, Cameron texted me to meet you here because he knew you would be in no state to drive"
"He's gone Kay, he's really gone"
"I know but he'll be back soon"
"not soon enough"
she hugged me and i cried on her shoulder. We sat there for a while
"Come on lets go" She said
She pushed the stroller while i trailed behind. when we got to my car she put them in and the stroller away. I went round to the drivers side
"No, no, no theres no way i'm letting you drive"
"I'm fine"
"No you're not, now go to the otherside"
"fine"
we got in and she drove. She drove all the way down to Bradenton, but not to my house, but to my dads. they were back from Their honeymoon the other week. She parked up and got the twins out. once again i trailed behind her to the door. she opened it and Lindsay was there.
"Oh sweetheart" she said to me
"He's gone" is all i said before the tears began again.
Kayli went to the living room with the twins.
"I know sweetie, i know" lindsay said we didn't move i just cried.

I did a lot of crying throughout the day, i hardly ate. I don't even know when my dad took Kayli back home. i was just in my room crying, lindsay took care of the twins. I just cried and cried until i fell asleep.
This is exactly why i didn't want to get in a relationship with him during the summer, i knew this would happen. But no one could have prepared me for this much heartbreak.