I Believe In The Finer Things & You Don't Believe In Me

The door closed with a resounding thud, signifying the guys departure, and Josh turned back to face me, "How are you feeling?" he asked, standing in front of me and I took a deep breath before a smile hit my face. "G-g-go-good, ac-actually. I've g-got h-hope." I confessed, and it was true. I was full of hope. Hope that my new found relationships would strive. Hope that everything would turn out alright. Josh mimicked my smile, coming closer and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me to him.

"So, you are my girlfriend now, right? Or do you think it's too soon for that?" he asked, seeming a little nervous as he looked down at me. I shook my head violently, of course I'm okay with being your girlfriend, are you bloody mental? Why wouldn't I be?! He misinterpreted my head shake and his mood seemed to drop,"N-n-no!" I struggled to speak,"I'm o-o-okay with i-it. I m-m-me-meant, no, it's n-not t-too soon." I explained and his smile returned.

"Cool." was all he could manage to say, his grin spreading."Joshie, you've got a mess to clean up in the kitchen." his mothers voice came, interrupting us yet again and he sighed.

"Right." he said, almost sarcastically and I smiled, "C-come on. I'll h-help-p." I said, pulling on his hand and leading him to the kitchen. Matt had insisted on a 'second dinner' so we all pitched in and bought a pizza for delivery.

There was a large box laying across the kitchen island and there was random things all over the floor including -but not limited to- pizza crust, spilled soda, balled up napkins, etc... Let's just say that there was a fight over who got the last slice and it didn't end well.

*

Josh and I spent maybe five to ten minutes cleaning up and then we decided it was time for me to go home. It was nearing eleven thirty- the latest I've ever been out- and my mum was undoubtedly already asleep. "Come on, I'll walk you." Josh insisted, leading me into the foyer and grabbing a sweater off the hooks by the door.

"C-c-c-can I b-borrow o-one?" I asked quietly, and he smiled, "Of course." his simple reply came as he grabbed another one, passing it to me. We both slipped them on over our clothes and he opened the door for me, "Be right back, mum!" he called inside before shutting the door behind us.

He laced his hand in mine and we walked along the sidewalk in the direction of my home. "I've never seen your house." Josh stated, and it was true. I'd avoided bringing him back home with me. Why, you ask? My mum's embarrassing as all hell, my younger sister will probably drive him off, and then the cherry on top of the cake, my house is a dump.

Literally. No one in my family is fit to do repairs on the house, so everything's just sort of fallen apart. My mum's getting too old for any physical labor, I could hardly wield a hammer even if my life depended on it, and my sister is five years old- needless to say, she can't do much.

My house doesn't compare to Josh's.

Then there's also the fact that I've never uttered a word to my mom, all I do is write things out. She'd probably have a heart attack if she heard me talking to Josh.

I brought my hand up to my face, brushing my fringe out of my eyes, "Uh... Y-yeah, y-you ha-haven't-t." I agreed, not really knowing what else to say. Josh squeezed my hand lightly, "Something wrong?" he asked, and I said no, but I nodded my head 'yes' involuntarily.

He picked up on it and chuckled, "What's wrong?" he prodded, and a cold gust of wind make me shudder as I took a deep breath and debated whether or not I should tell him. I guess half of the truth is better than completely lying.

"N-n-n-n-nothing. M-my fa-family is em-embarrassing, t-that's a-all." I explained, and he sighed, "Aw, come on. They can't be as bad as mine. Don't worry about it." he encouraged me, and I let out a deep breath.

Why do I have to lie? Why don't I ever just say what I'm actually thinking?