Can I Be Your Memory?

Chapter 17
Time started to pass by, and even more little things started to appear in Erelin’s mind. Memories started to surprise her, and instead of ignoring them, she decided to let them sink in realize what they mean to her. She still had millions of questions that were slowly being answered, but she wanted the answers right away. She didn’t feel the need that people had to keep everything from her. As much as her therapists told her that it was for the best so she wouldn’t be overwhelmed, she was just getting frustrated in the end.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and slowly she was gaining her memory back, while learning new things each and every day. The one thing that was making her mad was the fact that Brendon hadn’t been telling her much. He was there for yes, but at times, he would tell her he would have to go, and with that he was gone. He didn’t tell her where he went, and she was getting frustrated with it. That was until, she was watching television one day where she found her answer.

As Erelin was sitting alone by herself in her home, she realized that she lived a very boring life, especially without Brendon at her side. The fact that she couldn't just continue on with her life before the accident was a huge issue especially since she didn't remember most of her past. To keep her sanity level and a nice peak, she turned on the television to keep some kind of sound around her as she got lost in her thoughts. Before Brendon had left a few days prior, they had gotten into a fight. She was angry over the fact that Brendon wouldn’t tell her where he was going. All he would keep saying was that he had to go back to Vegas or LA to visit someone or for work. The worse part of it all was that Erelin didn’t know what his job was, and she was getting sick and tired over the fact that he hadn’t told her yet.

More thoughts started to swarm through her mind. She wondered if Brendon was secretly dating someone, and that he was just too scared to tell her because they were so called best friends. If she was best friends with him before the accident, what makes you think she wouldn’t be his best friend now? She keeps telling him that he could tell her anything, nothing has changed from their relationship. She was just wondering why he couldn’t just answer any of the questions she was asking him.

All of a sudden, a name had snapped Erelin back into reality. She stared at the television that she had left on. She studied the screen as she noticed that someone before her was watching MTV. As she continued to watch, she noticed that it was TRL, and that she was so concentrated on what she was watching, that she had forgotten the name she had just heard. She shrugged it off as it went to commercial. She started to get lost into her own thoughts again, until applause from the audience of the show snapped her attention back to the television. She stared at it nor really caring who or what the VJ was saying, but the she started to when she heard that name again. This time, it caught her attention and she made sure that she was watching.

“Please welcome, Panic At The Disco,” the VJ said.

“Panic At The Disco? Why…” Erelin thought out loud.

It was then her eyes had become wide. She was speechless. As she watch the band walk out into the small studio, she recognized all of them, especially a boy wearing a familiar dark blue shirt and tan blazer that she had seen him worn so many times before. Then she started to recognize the other boys beside him, smiling like they did in all the pictures she
had upstairs in her room.

“Oh my God!” Erelin said as she stared at Brendon through her television screen.

“Hey, Brendon, Jon, Spencer, and Ryan. How are all of you boys doing on this fine summer day?” the girl VJ asked.

“Great…” they all answered.

“Now, you guys are here to promote your next single, which is ‘That Green Gentleman.” Now can you tell me who’s fascination was it with the Russian matryoshka dolls?”

Erelin sat there dumbfounded and hurt as she watched Brendon plaster on smiles towards the camera. She felt betrayed. Many new thoughts were swarming through her head as to why Brendon hadn’t told her that he was a singer of a famous band. That’s when she stopped. She realized what she was thinking. She just remembered something of that actually involved Brendon. That he was a singer of a famous band called Panic At The Disco. That he plays guitar, bass and piano for his band. That millions of girls wanted him so badly, and yet she was friends with him. Yet to her, he was completely different.
She had been trying so hard to figure out something about him, but he was always too mysterious. All the nights she would have nightmares and screaming during her sleep, he was right there. All the times she started to remember things from her childhood, he was there to try and help her remember. That’s when she realized, that he was helping after all. He was trying help her remember her childhood days, instead of the times she had with him. That still didn’t make any sense to her. Why couldn’t she remember times with Brendon then if he claimed that they had known each other for ever? Why hasn’t he popped up yet in her memory?

That’s when Erelin had it. She snapped back into her thoughts as she realized that the band was gone from the screen and that the show had ended. She wanted to set the record straight. So she did what she had to do… grab her phone and call Brendon. As she finally found Brendon’s number in her phone and hit call, she tapped her fingers against the coffee table with such angst. After a couple of rings, he finally picked up.

“Hey Erelin…”

“Brendon Urie, your ass better be in the airport, ready to come back to Chicago this instant…”

“What? Erelin, what’s wrong? You know I won’t be home for another two days…”

“Well then you better explain to me how I know you and why you haven’t told me you were a famous singer of a band called Panic At The Disco and why I had to find out through TRL and not through you?”

“Huh?”

“Brendon, don’t you even dare act dumb. I’m sitting her watching TV and all of a sudden I hear your band name, and I went ‘ Gee… that sounds so familiar to me…’ And that’s when your face showed up on the television screen, and that’s when I remembered that you were a singer of a famous rock band. Seriously, Brendon, I’m getting sick and tired of not getting absolutely any answers from you. So your ass better be coming back to Chicago pretty soon so you can explain some things to me. Got it? Thanks. Bye.

With that Erelin hit the end button of her phone and threw it onto the couch in a huff. Meanwhile, Brendon kept repeating her name over and over again until he heard the beeps signaling that she had hung up on him. He stared at his phone as sat in the van, heading back to the hotel with his bands mates from the live interview on TRL they had just did minutes before.

“What happened?” his best friend and guitarist of his band, Ryan asked as the rest of his band mates, Spencer and Jon, nodded in agreement.

“She’s starting to remember me….” Brendon said with a smile.

Even though Erelin was even angrier with Brendon than she was when he had left her days before, Brendon couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, remembering the many times he had left her before when he would go on tours and such before the accident. He couldn’t wait to go home to her and help her remember so much more. For the rest of the night, a huge smile was plastered on his face ‘til he was dead asleep. Even then, he was smiling in his dreams, dreaming of her.