Can I Be Your Memory?

Chapter 20

As time went on, Erelin’s life was being revealed to her. She was becoming more sane as time went on, but yet she was felt even more insane than ever. Her family and Brendon started to get worried when they noticed Erelin crying and screaming in her sleep more and more. So they all made the decision to send to her to a psychiatrist to help calm her nerves and get some more answers.

To Erelin, it seemed like a waste of time. She didn’t see the problem to her night terrors, but to Brendon, it was getting to become a bit of a hassle especially when it’s been waking him up at night and even when he’s not there to comfort her. They decided to bring some life back into her by writing down her days and her memories that come to her in a journal. They just wanted to keep her mind at a good level.

Some memories started to come back to her especially from her childhood. It seemed though that for some reason, she couldn’t get anymore memories after her mother past away. She wrote her frustrations out and her wanting of everything to go her way again in her journal. She wrote down her dreams and nightmares of screams, people abandoning her, and feeling heartbroken.

Erelin knew that she just couldn’t take it anymore, and with tiny little hints that Brendon would give her to remember him, it started to hurt her even more. Brendon just wanted to tell her everything, of how much they were worth each other’s time. Yet, he wanted her to figure it out on her own. Those kinds of memories and feels can’t just appear out of nowhere. A person can’t make another person just have that happen so easily.

With other memories and feelings, a person can just find out from other people. As her family told her of her plans for the future, it made her really wonder. They had told her of her plans of her career. She was majoring in nursing. She wanted to work with children somehow, and maybe save up enough money to go to medical school to become a doctor. She was working at a boutique store for someone famous. When she was asked if she could even remember the brand, her mind had drawn a blank.

As she was told of what her plans were for the future, she wondered if she had ever dated. She wondered who else were her friends. She wanted to find out what else she had for the future and from the past. Did she want to have kids? Who was her first kiss? Did she go to Prom? She wondered that if she had her career aspect of her life planned out, who was there to fill that other aspect of her life? Who was there to take care of her and that so called family that they wanted?

She wondered if maybe someday she could have that with someone. The thoughts of couples holding hands and being all lovey dovey especially when she was out at the mall made her sort of smile and yet sad at the same time. She couldn’t tell anyone about her thoughts especially the one person she wanted to tell. She had other priorities in her life which was to regain her life back again. She felt it was best to just put those thoughts aside, and hopefully once she became sane again, that she would be able to start that other part of her life.

Hopefully though, it won’t be too late for her… or for Brendon. Because for Brendon, he’s been dying to have that life too except he thinks it’s too late for him. For that girl he had told Erelin while at the park might be gone forever, and he doesn’t know if he should accept it or just move on.