A Coward 'Till The End, Lies.

When Derek comes too hes no longer in the Stilinski kitchen, instead hes hauled up in Stiles room, swathed in blankets that carry her scent and make him dizzy, its almost enough to imagen shes there, holding his hand and smiling bright with love in her eyes, for him. Only for him.

She's not there though, even if she was coming he knows he hasnt been unconsious long enough for her to get there from Berekly. He could wait it out long enough to see her, just to see his beautiful mate and apologize, spill his unworthy heart on the floor at her feet.

Ughh god, everything hurts, sharp and pulsing and clouding his brain, he feels full of lead and razor blades whiping around his veins like a tornado.

The darkness is nice.

It makes him feel numb and floaty and like he's no where near his body, watching himself on the big screen at the cinema.

The darkness is better then reality at the moment.

Stiles is in the darkness.

xXx

Derek can remember the first time he ever laid eyes on her.

He was 11 and walking home from school with his big brother Harry when he spotted a little kid with a short brown bob and plasters on both of her knees half way up a sycamore tree, tiny fingers reaching for a tiny ball of black fur that was perched on a slightly higher branch, totally uninterested in the kid trying to reach it.

"Yo, Little Gemin be careful up there! Your mum will have a fit if you fall and hurt yourself!" Harry had yelled from where they stood on the path making Derek jump.

The little girl, Gemin, (and what the hell kind of name is that?) span to face them, her foot slipping and for a split second Derek thinks shes going to fall but instead she slides down the tree trunk like a skateboarder on a rail and lands perfectly on her sneaker clad feet.

"Hey you know me H-dawg, Im like a cat, I always land on my feet!"

Harry had thrown back his head and cracked up at that and even stoic baby Derek let a grin slip onto his face.

Gemin grinned, her front two teeth missing before wiping her muddy hands down the blue dugarees she was wearing smudging brown muck down them.

"I better go, the kitty doesnt like me but i'll get him one day, bye Harry, bye Derek!"

Dereks eyes buldged out of his head as the little girl ran to her font door and into her house waving at them the whole time. She didnt call him Harrys little brother or one of the Hale kids, she actuall called him by his name!
Derek couldnt look away from where she vanished.

"Come on lil bro," Harry annouced slapping a hand down on Dereks shoulder with a fond smile, "Mum's making your favourite for tea."

xXx

The memory faded and the scene changed, colours swirling in Dereks head until he sees himself in the woods behind the Hale house shifted into his beta form, Stiles is coward against a tree at his back, under his protection whilt Scotts a few feet away hissing and growling and desperate to rip Stiles' throat out just like the Alpha wants.

The thought has Dereks stomach lurching.

Stiles is 16 now, tall and willowy, loud and brash; beautifully annoying.
One thing she isnt though, is afraid. Even though her best friend has been bitten and turned into a werewolf and is now trying to kill her shes still cool, still calm (mostly) and collected. She should have waves of fear pouring off of her skin but instead theres anxiousness, awe, excitement.
Dereks not sure whether he should be impressed or horrified that even after nine years Stiles is still the same seven year old that would rather jump then climb down a tree no matter if she had more of a chance of getting hurt.

After Scott has calmed down and no longer wants to maul his best friend Derek has the tiresome chore of explaining the whole, 'suprise youre a werewolf thing' to them and the whole time he doesnt understand why Stiles grins, heart pounding in her chest while her left leg bouces off of the grass in excitment.

He'll never understand Stiles and that makes him happy in a way he doesnt quite understand just yet.

xXx

The next memory is one of his favourites.
He and Stiles are curled up on her sofa watching Gilmore Girls because Stiles loves it and Derek cant bring himself to move.
Not when his wolf is the most relaxed its been, ever.
Not when Stiles needs him to be 'a good little pillow so lay still and keep doing the im extremely warm because im a werewolf thing, gawd you could save my dad a fortune on his heating bills!'
Hes not upset to say he may have even chuckled at that.

Stiles is pretty much in his lap, their legs tangled together and her arms across his stomach ending with her fingers twisted into a loose fist in the fabric of his worn grey shirt. Shes wearing one of his, many, black tshirts and a pair of boy shorts that acutually fir over the massive and not to mention heavy cast thats on her mauled leg. She smells so amazing it make his want to purr or something equally as embarassing.
She smells like him.
Shit, she smells like shes his!

Its just an unremarkable day a few weeks before they slept together but after they first kissed. A day when things between them were new and full of promise.

Its a perfect moment and Derek cant remember ever being happier.

A part of him wants to stay there forever.

xXx

Apparently Dereks luck is just as bad in the darkness, in his dreams, than it is in real life because the next image is Stiles' prone and bloody body laying limp in his arms as he raced her to the hospital the night Peter attacked them.
He'd wanted so badly to bite her, make her one of his new pack because, hello brand new alpha here, the urge was so strong, so feral but his human side won out. Stiles wouldnt survive the bite in this state, her heart was so weak, she was fading so unfairly fast.
"No Derek, wait till shes healed or bite her as a last resort. You cant let your mate die!!"

Fear was an icy hand around his heart.

A world without Stiles was no place for him.

xXx

The memories stop there and he falls back into the blackness he started in, a simple abyss punctured by the occasional stab of pain.

He feels like there are fingers cading through his hair, petting him like his mother used to when he was ill or how Stiles would when they were curled up in her bed and she thought he was asleep.

He imagined he could hear Stiles talking to him and with her scent everywhere he turned he could almost believe it wasnt a fever induced hallucination.
"Im here honey, dont worry im here."

The words were softly spoken and oh so loving.

Derek slept better after that.

xXx

Xander glanced at the sleeping girl in the passenger seat of his truck, keeps glancing every chance he gets, every traffic light and stop sign and zebra crossing.

He catalogs her features; adorable upturned nose, long fluttering makeup free eyelashes, slanting cheek bones, the skattering of moles on ivory skin, her soft chesnut hair falling around her face in short waves. Shes awkward and she somehow manages to be both soft and all sharp angles, all elbows and skinny knees. Shes pretty, nothing incredible to look at but her warmth and passion and love shines through ever pore in her body and that, that makes her incredible.

Stiles shuffles slightly in her sleep, unconsiously drawing her arms up to circle her stomach protectively. It draws a smile out of Xander, the thought of how great of a mum Stiles will be, how much he cant wait to meet the baby growing in her belly and fall in love with her/him, how much he cant wait to to be a proper patchwork family, just him Stiles and baby 'Jarvis'.
Xander cant wait.

His fingers tighten around the steering wheel.

His clock is ticking.

xXx

Stiles wakes up at the exact moment that Xander passes the 'Welcome To Beacon Hills' sign and he cant help but chuckle as she yawns and strecthes her arms as far as she can in this beat up truck.
"You're gonna have to direct me from here hon."
Stiles smiles softly and nods running a hand through her hair before reaching over to turn the CDplayer on low, flooding the cab with Jack's Mannequin. Xander flashes her a grin and takes the next left that Stiles points out.

He can practically feel how anxious she is as they pull up outside a big white house with baby blue shutters and a wrap around porch. Hes just about to put his hand over hers to calm her when her fingers thread through his and squeeze.

"Whatever happens today Xan I want you to know that I love you, youre one of my best friends and I would never intentionally hurt you. When its all over we will still head back to Berekely and be roomates and watch marathons of things weve seen millions of times and order shitty pizza and live in eachothers personal bubbles okay?"

She holds his gaze and Xanders glad he's no longer driving because her chocolate brown eyes draw him in and hold him captive. Xander nods, tugs one side of his mouth up into a small smirk. Theres a pain in his chest but he understands.
"I know Stiles, just know ive got your back too, whatever happens, however you want me at the end, Im still gonna be here."

Stiles grins and for the first time all day theres no underlining fear or panic, it swells Xanders heart in his chest but the dagger in his belt anchors him down. Stiles has brought him to her home town in the middle of a hunter/werewolf war, now was probably not the best time to talk about their feelings no matter how much he wants to.
He's about to climb out of the car when a hand fists in his henley drags him back in and suddenly his lips are crushed to Stiles', its hot and desperate and theres no trace of the sweet innocent kisses theyve shared before, he cant help but think shes kissing someone else. Still, he kisses back without a moments hesitation and ignores the tugging at the back of his head, the taunting voice that keeps telling him that 'this is it, youre times up boy'.
He squeezes his eyes closed, pulls Stiles closer, making the kiss even deeper before pushing her back slightly, pressing one last soft sweet kiss to her lips before exiting his truck and strolling to the front door.

No matter what happens today Xander knows it wont be the same when they get back to Berekley, if they get back to Berekely. He's seen how hunters work and hed be lying if he said he wasnt worried about Stiles pack.
Yeah, the knife in his belt is definetly weighing him down.

Stiles sits in Xanders truck for a second longer giving her self a silent pep talk before taking a deep breath and pushing down all her fears.

Dereks going to live.
The baby's going to be fine.
Everyones going to be fine with me being pregnant.
Theye going to get the hunters that did this.
Xander is here, he understands, hes not leaving.
Theyre going to save Derek and hes going to be totally fine.

She's out of the car, up the path and banging on the front door with Xander clutching at her hand before she can talk herself out of it.

C'mon Stiles, you can do this girl.

xXx

The door to Stiles' childhood home is flung open by a teary Lydia who instantly pulls her into the circle of her arms and hugs her tight.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down honey, Im here, its okay, its all going to be okay."

She feels Lydia nod against her shoulder and then Scott is in front of her with his hand tight in Alison's. He looks ashen and sick, exactly like he had when Stiles' mother had died and Stiles feels a sob making its way into her throat.

Its bad, she knows now, Derek's dying for real and its all down to her and Xander to save him.
Two first year biology/mythological studies students who dont even have their degrees yet. A human from a werewolf pack and a human with a hunter dad.
Stiles hopes theres a huge fluffy werewolf god that can hear her prayers because other wise theyre actually fucked and Derek... Derek will be dead.

"Come here." Stiles manages to whisper over Lydias head and then Scott is wrapped around her too and so is Allison and then Jackson and the Sheriff are there and its a crude, teary puppy pile that sews up her heart a little bit, lifts a fraction of the weight off of her shoulders.
Theyre her pack and shes theres and they were most definetly stronger together.

xXx

They pull apart after a few moments of pure unabashed werewolf cuddling, Lydia being the last to pull away. At the exact moment she does Stiles turns to introduce Xander but is cut off by a low threatening growl curling out of Jackson's chest making the hairs on the back of her arms stand up.

"What the fuck have you done Stilinski!"

Stiles spins to face the pack and Jackson looks murderous, his normally blue eyes glowing fluresent yellow focused on her extremely obvious baby bump whilst his teeth elongated into fangs.

"Oh yeah, shit!"

Xander is infront of her in a second, a strange, jagged, white stone knife clutched in his hand directed at Jackson and it suddenly strikes Stiles that just because Xander didnt join his dad hunting werewolves in cold blood didnt mean that he hadnt been taught how to. The knife looks dangerous in his hand and even scarier then that, he looks totally confortable with it as if sliding it into Jackson would be the easiest thing in the world for him. Realization drips down her spine, Xander had never seemed fierce or even like someone that knew how to fight but with his knife brandished in his hand and his honey brown eyes glowing bright green and...Woah hold up, wait a second, what?

Stiles blinks a few times, rubs her eyes with her fists but Xanders eyes are pulsing green light, glowing like a fucking werewolf and, oh holy shit what is happening to the world!

A snarl rips through Scott and Jackson as one causing them both to crouch low to the ground, both almost transformed into their beta forms.
Lydia partially shifts, just her eyes and claws and puts her self next to Xander, between Stiles and the two very pissed off werewolves but keeps eyeing Xander suspiciously, .

Thankfully Stiles' dad slips into Sheriff mode just in time to prevent a fight.

"SCOTT! JACKSON! CANT YOU SEE MY DAUGHTER IS HEAVILY PREGNANT AND YOU ARE VERY OBVIOUSLY SCARING HER! BACK THE HELL DOWN!" The two beta stare at her dad as if they cant make out what hes yelling before the Sheriff loses his cool completely and shouts, "NOW!" and yeah that kind of order almost put Derek to shame and both werewolves were suddenly back to being calm, (mostly), and human looking slightly ashames and totally confused.

It takes a second longer for Xander to relax, his fingers flex around the hilt of his dagger and he glances behind him to make sure Stiles is safe, she looks shook up but he knows thats probably more because of him then the wolves, he sighs heavily and reluctantly slides his knife back into his belt.

As soon as he does the tension in the room lessens dramatically and Stiles can finally breath properly.

"Okay, thank you, now i er..." the sheriff glances at everyone in turn and mutters something like 'im getting too old for this shit', under his breath before motioning with his hands for everyone to follow him into the kitchen. "I think everyones got some explaining to do so we might aswell be comfortable whilst we do so."

The pack braces as if another fights going to break out and Stiles rolls her eyes, grabs Xander's now free hand and drags him through to the kitchen after her dad, calling out over her shoulder to the betas, "Come on wolfies, i'll explain everything and then i wanna hear Alexanders story."

Xander winces at the use of his full name something Stiles has never done before, the rest of the pack follows with their metaphorical tails between their legs.

Welcome home Stiles.