Light up the Sky
007; Caught
Saturday, one of the worst days that there could possibly be. Want to know why? Even if you don’t, I’m still going to tell you. Today was the beginning of the weekend – the day that meant that there was two days with no school. There is going to be two days of Gerard bugging you, two days of Gerard’s questions, two days of Gerard’s love.
I didn’t want that and I longed to be back at school. To be back in the confinement of a classroom and on my own, to be left alone. I wanted to be back at school where people ignored me, where no body made the effort to talk to me or tried to find out what was wrong with me – why I never talked to anyone.
I was still in bed and all that I could hear was the infernal racket of the beep from my alarm clock. I knew what was going to happen next – dad was going to come knocking on my door, almost banging it down; no one else in the house would notice – Gerard’s room was in the basement and mom obviously didn’t care – and once I let him in he would start to verbally attack me. I would cower away from him, not wanting to see him and not wanting to talk to him – and maybe he would then physically attack me. It’s happened before; quite a lot.
As I suspected my fathers banging and grunting was what I could hear and I pulled the cover higher up my neck, not before quickly switching my alarm clock off. His thumping on my door continued and I tried my hardest to ignore it and to wash the fear away; I was going to become numb to all of this.
“I know you heard me, Michael. Open this God damned fucking door, right now!” He almost yelled and I scurried out of my bed to unlock the door – not wanting him to be even angrier if I left him even longer.
The door swung open, luckily this time I had managed to jump out of the way in time and he glared at me. A snarl growling from his throat and a menacing look in his eye – he was angry. Oh, so angry.
I cowered away from his screams and all of the abuse he hurled at me. I knew what he thought of me and I didn’t want to hear it – I didn’t need to know just how much he hated me today, or just how much of a mistake he thought I was. I was already feeling pretty down and I didn’t want to feel even more crushed by my father’s thoughts. I had managed to shuffle myself into a corner of my room – which was a pretty stupid idea really; as now I had nowhere to turn to if things did start to turn ugly. I pulled my legs up into my chest and sat in the fatal position, hugging my knees with my head buried and hung in between them and my chest.
He started kicking me first, his kicks getting harder and harder as time went on and it took all of my will power not to let out any form of cries. I didn’t want him to think I was weak and I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t ‘man’ enough to handle the pain he put me through. His amount of kicking had caused me to fall onto my side and my legs to spring lose from my grip.
My eyes widened as his foot went down on my crotch and I screamed – it hurt so bad! Tears welled in my eyes and I clenched them and my jaw shut as tight as I could, careful not to let out another scream that could attract unwanted attention.
“Oh, so there is something there?” He snarled and I nodded furiously.
Yes, of course there was. Just because I was a mistake, just because I was such a pathetic little boy doesn’t mean I don’t have a penis! I was still male.
His foot came off of my crotch and stamped down on my face, I heard the crack of my nose and felt blood pouring out – forcing me to let out a blood curdling scream. He continued to push his foot further into my face – almost burying it into all of the fat that he could find and I tried my hardest to push his leg away with my hand. It was useless, I was too weak and he was too strong.
I was crying but I managed to block out the sound of my own cries with my screams as I tried my hardest to push him away from me. The only sounds that I could hear was my screaming and his laughing. Everything else around me had managed to block off and it was only when my father’s foot came off of my face did I realize that there was someone else in the room.
My gaze came off of my father’s legs and I looked up at my door. Gerard was standing there, a look of pure shock all over his face – his eyes were wide, mouth open and staring from me to my dad, never blinking. I heard a roar rip from his throat and he sprung on my dad, knocking him down my surprise and started throwing punches at his face – yelling obscenities at him.
I curled back into my fatal position, feeling all of the blood running out of my nose, over my mouth and down my chin. My lip darted out to moisten my lips and instantly recoiled when I tasted the coppery blood on my tongue. I could now hear my sobs and Gerard’s screaming at my dad, along with my dad’s yells at Gerard to get off of him and that he never wanted Gerard to see what he did to me.
My mom must have heard all of the screaming and shouting as she came wandering into my room – probably thinking that it was only me and dad who were screaming and fighting – she was probably coming to cheer my father on. But she took a look at me curled up in my corner and looked at Gerard on top of my dad – throwing punched at his now bloody face. She screamed and ran to rip my brother off of my dad, practically throwing him to the floor.
Gerard looked up at her and spit some blood out of his mouth – dad must have got a few punches in himself. “I bet you were in on this too?” He quivered, his voice breaking as a few of his own tears fell out of his eyes.
No, I didn’t want Gerard to cry! Gerard didn’t deserve to cry, Gerard was too strong for that and he meant too much. Gerard shouldn’t cry, Gerard should never ever cry. I didn’t know what made me do it, but I crawled over to Gerard’s body and wrapped my arms around him, whispering words into his ear and trying to get him to stop his tiny amount of crying.
I didn’t want that and I longed to be back at school. To be back in the confinement of a classroom and on my own, to be left alone. I wanted to be back at school where people ignored me, where no body made the effort to talk to me or tried to find out what was wrong with me – why I never talked to anyone.
I was still in bed and all that I could hear was the infernal racket of the beep from my alarm clock. I knew what was going to happen next – dad was going to come knocking on my door, almost banging it down; no one else in the house would notice – Gerard’s room was in the basement and mom obviously didn’t care – and once I let him in he would start to verbally attack me. I would cower away from him, not wanting to see him and not wanting to talk to him – and maybe he would then physically attack me. It’s happened before; quite a lot.
As I suspected my fathers banging and grunting was what I could hear and I pulled the cover higher up my neck, not before quickly switching my alarm clock off. His thumping on my door continued and I tried my hardest to ignore it and to wash the fear away; I was going to become numb to all of this.
“I know you heard me, Michael. Open this God damned fucking door, right now!” He almost yelled and I scurried out of my bed to unlock the door – not wanting him to be even angrier if I left him even longer.
The door swung open, luckily this time I had managed to jump out of the way in time and he glared at me. A snarl growling from his throat and a menacing look in his eye – he was angry. Oh, so angry.
I cowered away from his screams and all of the abuse he hurled at me. I knew what he thought of me and I didn’t want to hear it – I didn’t need to know just how much he hated me today, or just how much of a mistake he thought I was. I was already feeling pretty down and I didn’t want to feel even more crushed by my father’s thoughts. I had managed to shuffle myself into a corner of my room – which was a pretty stupid idea really; as now I had nowhere to turn to if things did start to turn ugly. I pulled my legs up into my chest and sat in the fatal position, hugging my knees with my head buried and hung in between them and my chest.
He started kicking me first, his kicks getting harder and harder as time went on and it took all of my will power not to let out any form of cries. I didn’t want him to think I was weak and I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t ‘man’ enough to handle the pain he put me through. His amount of kicking had caused me to fall onto my side and my legs to spring lose from my grip.
My eyes widened as his foot went down on my crotch and I screamed – it hurt so bad! Tears welled in my eyes and I clenched them and my jaw shut as tight as I could, careful not to let out another scream that could attract unwanted attention.
“Oh, so there is something there?” He snarled and I nodded furiously.
Yes, of course there was. Just because I was a mistake, just because I was such a pathetic little boy doesn’t mean I don’t have a penis! I was still male.
His foot came off of my crotch and stamped down on my face, I heard the crack of my nose and felt blood pouring out – forcing me to let out a blood curdling scream. He continued to push his foot further into my face – almost burying it into all of the fat that he could find and I tried my hardest to push his leg away with my hand. It was useless, I was too weak and he was too strong.
I was crying but I managed to block out the sound of my own cries with my screams as I tried my hardest to push him away from me. The only sounds that I could hear was my screaming and his laughing. Everything else around me had managed to block off and it was only when my father’s foot came off of my face did I realize that there was someone else in the room.
My gaze came off of my father’s legs and I looked up at my door. Gerard was standing there, a look of pure shock all over his face – his eyes were wide, mouth open and staring from me to my dad, never blinking. I heard a roar rip from his throat and he sprung on my dad, knocking him down my surprise and started throwing punches at his face – yelling obscenities at him.
I curled back into my fatal position, feeling all of the blood running out of my nose, over my mouth and down my chin. My lip darted out to moisten my lips and instantly recoiled when I tasted the coppery blood on my tongue. I could now hear my sobs and Gerard’s screaming at my dad, along with my dad’s yells at Gerard to get off of him and that he never wanted Gerard to see what he did to me.
My mom must have heard all of the screaming and shouting as she came wandering into my room – probably thinking that it was only me and dad who were screaming and fighting – she was probably coming to cheer my father on. But she took a look at me curled up in my corner and looked at Gerard on top of my dad – throwing punched at his now bloody face. She screamed and ran to rip my brother off of my dad, practically throwing him to the floor.
Gerard looked up at her and spit some blood out of his mouth – dad must have got a few punches in himself. “I bet you were in on this too?” He quivered, his voice breaking as a few of his own tears fell out of his eyes.
No, I didn’t want Gerard to cry! Gerard didn’t deserve to cry, Gerard was too strong for that and he meant too much. Gerard shouldn’t cry, Gerard should never ever cry. I didn’t know what made me do it, but I crawled over to Gerard’s body and wrapped my arms around him, whispering words into his ear and trying to get him to stop his tiny amount of crying.