Don't Hesitate

There wasn't much noise from within the quiet of the small office except the odd mouse click or the creaking of a chair. Demi was on her lunch break, and from in amongst the stacks of papers and stationary she quietly browsed through her e-mails, sipping a cup of coffee, a half-eaten sandwich lying on a plate in front of her. Today she was wearing her hair in a neat bun, swept low across the tops of her ears, gathered at the nape of her neck, a few loose pieces falling into her face so that every time she moved she had to flick them out of her way with her fingertips or puffs of air. She was slumped a little in the chair, her movements were somehow heavy, slow, easy, there was a sense of lethargy hanging in the air, and she was just leaning her head on her elbow which was laid across the desk when her phone stated to vibrate in her pocket.

She jumped, letting out a little squeal of surprise, because no-one ever called her when she was on shift, well, because she was on shift, which meant someone needed to contact her, or someone didn't know, or...

"Hello?" She picked up her phone, too eager to check the caller ID, too fed up with bland customer-waitress interactions she had to go through every day to not want an alternative. Maybe it was Melinda calling to see how she was, perhaps it was her Mom calling to bother her, perhaps it was...

"Hey, it's me." A response came back at her after a slight pause, interfered by the sound of wind in the speaker.
Demi braced herself a little against the desk and glanced at her computer screen. Perhaps she could pretend she hadn't heard, she could use the wind as an excuse, and she could hang up and if it ever came up again, she'd say she'd lost signal. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.
"Hey, can you hear me?"
"Y-yes," Demi said, tentatively, after a moment, fiddling with a soft wisp of hair that had come loose from her bun.
"Good," came the reply, and Demi took a cursory look at the door, but of course no-one was there to distract her. "Listen, I know what you said and I get it now, I get how you feel. I'm not calling to y'know, persuade you or anything."
Demi bit her lip. "Thanks, Kellin," she said after a moment. "For understanding."
"Yeah," he said simply, and then, "Oh shit, wait, you're on your break, right?"
"Yes. Why, you planning on keeping me here long?" Demi's voice had a slight edge to it, and Kellin responded to it, voice sounding a little wounded: "No. Well, I was just..." He cleared his throat and Demi shifted a little in her seat, chewing on her lip again like she was sharing the tension he was clearly feeling. She extended a hand and clicked on a dialogue box, returning to her e-mail inbox. She paused as she saw something in bold at the top.
"I wanted to tell you before you heard from somewhere else," Kellin continued. "Me and Julia broke up."
Demi inahled sharply and returned her attention to the conversation. "What?"
"Well, it's not official I guess but it soon will be. She said as much."
"Why?" Demi's mouth was dry. She knew why. "Is it..."
"Yeah."
"Because of me?"
"Yes."
"Shit," Demi whispered and closed her eyes.
"She found out about us," Kellin said stoically, pausing a little between each word to draw in a slight breath.
"How?" Demi murmured, and then added quietly, "You told her."
"I didn't, I swear."
"Then how else?" Demi asked. "Kellin, I told you I didn't--"
"I didn't tell her. She-- she heard it. From me, yeah, but it was an accident."
"So you were-- you were telling someone about it? Like, like just like that?" The volume of Demi's voice was growing.
"No-- I was just, just talking with the guys, I mean, they're my friends--"
"So does everyone know?" Demi asked quietly.
"Who's everyone? I don't know, the band, Adam was there, it wasn't like I was shouting about it."
"You told all those guys?"
"Well did you tell Melinda?"
"She kind of guessed, actually," Demi said defensively, and then said, "Oh God, they must think I'm some huge slut."
"They don't think that. It's not true."
"Then what do they think?" Demi asked, a touch of desperation in her voice.
"I," Kellin started, and there was a very long pause. Then he said finally, "The point is, Julia knows, and it's changed things, but I just wanted you to know first that it doesn't change things-- y' know-- with us. I understand now what you want."
"Kellin--" Demi started, then stopped suddenly, like she'd forgotten what she was going to say, or maybe she was too scared to say it. She nodded a little to herself, held herself together long enough not to make a sound.
Kellin filled in the gap eventually. "So you-- so Danny wrote you."
"Yes," Demi murmured, her eyes slowly going back to the computer screen. She started to read the subject line of the unread e-mail.
"And he's good."
"Yeah," Demi replied, and fell silent. "Hey, Kellin, just hold on, I have an e-mail from..." She clicked and opened it.
"From who?"
"From-- holy shit, AP have messaged me, you know I like, I sent them an article like, months ago...They, uh, they're sorry they didn't print the article but they want me to go to-- shit, Ohio..."
"Ohio?"
"For an interview. They're looking for a new interviewer."
"And they're asking you?"
"I guess."
"Dem, that's great, I'm real happy for you," Kellin enthused, and Demi felt warmed by the tone of his voice, so much that she laughed softly and said,
"I'm smiling like an idiot right now."
"I wish I could be there to see it."
Demi sighed and bit the side of her lip. "I wish you could be here, too." She felt her stomach lurch, a knot rose up in her throat, but she didn't take her words back. She hovered in the same position, half way between going to jump up in elation and steadying herself against the table.
Kellin started, "Dem, I--" But Demi didn't hear the rest of it because suddenly the door flew open, and one of the other waitresses said,
"Um, Demi? There's someone here to see you."
Demi paused, and then lay her phone down, pressed her finger over hold, and then asked, "Who?"
"Some girl."
"You mean Linda?"
"No."
"Is she blonde?"
"Yeah."
"Then it's Linda."
"It's not," the girl insisted, trembling a little. "I- I told her to wait for you but, um..." The girl stepped aside and pushed the door wider. "She already came in."

Demi looked up to have her eyes meet with another piercing pair set into deep sockets which had taken on an unflattering shade of grey. "Hey, Demi," Julia said brightly, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she walked past the door. "I hope I'm not taking up your lunch break or anything."
Demi shot a look at the other waitress who backed out of the room quietly, and as the door clicked shut Demi replied,
"That's exactly what you're doing."
"Tough shit," Julia said with a sweeter-than-sweet smile, tucking her handbag into the crook of her arm as she walked up to Demi who was gritting her teeth.
"What are you doing here, Julia?" She asked softly.
"Mm, let me think," Julia replied, rolling her eyes theatrically, "Why the hell I'd be here, talking to the girl I just found out my boyfriend slept with."
Demi's hand went to fiddle again with the piece of hair that had fallen loose, and as she wound it around her finger more hair tumbled free, fell softly against the back of her hand, brushed her skin.
"Look, I don't know what to say, I'm sorry," Demi said, eyes lingering over Julia's small mouth whose lips were pursed tightly.
"You're sorry," Julia echoed, giving an ironic kind of smile.
"Julia, I don't know what you came here for, because an apology is all I've got time to give you."
"Oh, I'm not looking for an apology," Julia hissed, tilting her head to one side, "I'm looking for a promise you're not going to go near him again."
"What?" Demi's voice was low.
"You heard me. He's mine, sweetheart, and I don't know what the hell you were trying to do the otheer night but trust me, it didn't work." Demi opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. Julia took one last step forward. "You might have known him longer than me but honestly, it doesn't mean shit."
"Oh really?" Demi asked, smiling a little. "I think I've known him long enough to know he's smart enough to get away frm a girl like you when she comes along."
"A girl like me? You better watch yourself."
"Or what, Julia? You're gonna beat me with one of your Prada purses?" Demi shook her head to herself and pushed past the other woman.
"Where are you going?" Julia spat, catching Demi by her arm. "I'm not done with you."
"Well I'm done with you," Demi replied, pulling her arm back, tearing her eyes away from Julia's whose intense gaze was making her uncomfortable. She sighed and stopped still for a moment. "Listen, Julia. I don't know what Kellin's said to you but honestly? Me and him, it was a mistake. You know, you can keep him," she said, and she even heard her voice break as she finished.
Julia eyed her closely, with a hint of suspicion. "I'm not stupid, Demi, I know when a girl's tryna bluff her way outta something."
"I'm not bluffing," Demi said, drawing herself up a little. "I don't know what happened that night but it shouldn't have, OK, and it's not going to again. Why would I want to be with him? Surely if I wanted him I would've done something long before you were in the picture."
Julia studied her intensively but did not saying anything. Demi exclaimed, "This is what you want, Julia, I'm giving it to you on a plate, just, don't bother me and I won't bother you."
Julia said nothing for a moment and then began to nod, slowly. "Oh, I get it. This is all because you don't want your little boyfriend to know, huh."
Demi inhaled sharply. "Danny and I have too strong enough a relationship for something like this to get to us," she said automatically. "Just like you and Kellin, huh."
"Exactly like me and Kellin," Julia muttered, walking up to join Demi by the door. "So we understand each other," she said, running her tongue across her teeth.
"I guess," Demi said curtly, and opened the door.
"Good," Julia replied, and then, looking down, added, "So I take it you won't be letting Kellin know about this little visit."
Demi smiled knowingly but shrugged. "Not if you don't want me to."
"Super," Julia said, pushing past into the restaurant where barely a head turned towards them. "So I guess I'm gonna head off. Things to do. Thanks, Demi," she added in a voice drenched in sarcasm. She was smiling so widely her whole face was contorted to accommodate it and Demi watched her leave, even walking up to the exit to see her get into her car. Demi frowned a little as she watched her, asked herself if she wasn't sure Julia's car was silver because the one she'd just got into on the passenger side was black, but Demi was too distracted to know for sure if the auburn-haired driver who pulled away sharply from the kerb was familiar or not.

Not meeting the questioning looks coming at her from the customers she hurried back into the office and went to log off the computer, hoping the monotony, the familiarity of something like clicking and closing windows might do something to stop her heading from spinning so fast, but it didn't. It was only as she was straightening up to walk away again she noticed how she'd left her phone on the desk, figured she'd hang up now and pretend she'd never even started the conversation with Kellin which she did, tucking her phone into her pocket and going back to work.

---

There was a guy sitting in a black pulled up outside a seven eleven on a high street a town away, and if you'd been watching close enough you might have noted the way he performed a few succinct movements at that moment on that day, slowly, and then decisively, with a sense of purpose. If you'd been watching very closely of course you wouldn't seen the way, minutes before, he'd been staring at the screen of his phone as it told him on speaker everything he didn't want to know, but as it happened that day there was no-one walking down the street to see the way Kellin Quinn sunk a little in the seat as the woman on the other end finished up that fifteen-minute call, or hear the way he swore as he threw that phone at the dashboard. It was probably just as well.
"Why didn't you just put me on fucking hold?" He hissed at the phone, and jerked on the ignition.