Don't Hesitate

A thick silence had settled in the kitchen. Thankfully the steady clinking of the dishwasher filled the void.
Three faces were locked in heavy contemplation about their heavy stomachs and more.
"Well," Tina said, pursing her lips and squeezing the handle of her cup. "I guess you're old enough now."
Kellin, sat beside her, rolled his eyes, and through gritted teeth, muttered, "Yes."
Demi sat across from him was looking at the ceiling lights with a distant kind of expression.
Tina sucked in a breath. "I just think-"
"Mom-"
"When I get up in the morning to take our guest a coffee that I have made y'know, it would be nice to find them in their own-"
"Are you still talking about that?" Jason asked, strolling into the kitchen with an empty mug and a paper rolled underneath his arm. He brushed his hand soothingly under his wife's shoulder as he walked past. "They're only doing what kids do."
Kellin gritted his teeth. "Jason, with all due respect, we're not..." He glanced up to see the older man had paused, was looking sternly at him, and fell silent.
The silence was interrupted by Kellin's phone shaking into life on the table in front of him, and he looked at it suspiciously for a second as it inched vibration after vibration across the table towards Demi who finally slipped out of her daydream and looked at it too.
Kellin stretched his hand out and picked it up. His mother stood up, collected the coffee cups, and went over to walk quietly to her husband.
"Hey." Kellin's voice was stiff as he answered.
Demi looked at him curiously.
"I'm- I'm at my Mom's," he went on, his hand going to fiddle his hair from his face. Demi carried on watching him. "What do you mean I didn't tell you? I told you on Wednesday I was gonna be out of town."
Kellin lifted the phone away from his face a little as the speaker volume rose enough for an angry female voice to be audible. "I can't just- it'd take me three hours. No- no don't change the...Appointment...I don't have to be there." His voice had dropped to a murmur but as everyone knows, there's nothing that speaks louder than a whisper. "Can we talk about this when I'm back?"
Demi's brown eyes fell to the table. Kellin laid his phone down on the surface as the call ended abruptly. Tina crept back over to the table, a cautious smile on her face.
"Who was that honey? I hope none of your friends is sick."
Kellin's eyes darted towards Demi's but she was refusing to look at him. Outside birds chirped and cars grumbled past on the street and behind it all Kellin could hear a rushing like the sea, tremendous and engulfing.
"Dem," he murmured, and extended a hand towards her. Her arms were folded, rested on the table, and she pulled them down, and then said, pushing the hair out behind her as she stood up.
"I think you should talk to them about this. Alone."
Kellin's face paled. "No," he murmured, standing up to, reaching out to catch her, "I want you to be here."
Tina was watching them both gravely, parked between them and Jason who turned his head now as if he'd only just become aware of their presence.
"Please," Kellin whispered, trying to catch Demi's gaze, but she kept her eyes on the floor.
"Mrs. Lindsay, can I be excused, I need to go make some calls?" She asked.
Kellin's Mom nodded a soft, "Of course, Demi."
And she left the room with her shoulders sagging apologetically, her face downcast, and Kellin turned, numb, to his mother who ushered him towards the table and said softly,
"I think we need to talk. What's this all about?"
Kelin managed to slide into the chair that Demi had left. It was still a little warm.
"Is one of the boys sick?" Jason asked, drawing out a chair beside his wife.
Kellin shook his head. "No. No-one's sick." He pushed his hair off his face and looked up at the both, chick thrust out resolutely. "Actually, Mom- it's Julia. She's pregnant."

His mother hesitated, lips rounded in a question that didn't form.
"You mean your Julia?" Jason queried instead.
Kellin nodded, mute.
"Oh, honey," Tina sighed after a moment, offering him a look of deep sympathy. "That's so hard. She moved on so fast after being with you? I said it before but I'm going to say it again- I always thought that girl was a bitch."
"Who's she dating now?" Jason asked.
"Uh, well..." Kellin bit his lip. "Nobody."
"You mean this guy- whoever he is- got her knocked up and left?"
Kellin drew in a breath, "Not exactly-"
Tina gasped, "Even a girl like her, poor thing, that's hard-"
"So she's doing this by herself?" Jason asked, squinting a little in concentration.
"And you're helping her," Tina beamed, "Out of the kindness of your heart. After what she was like with you."
"Mom, it's kind of- it's more complicated..."
"I'm so proud," she went on, building a little momentum now, cheeks reddening, "Finally, you bring home a nice girl like Demi, and , and, you're being the bigger guy, keeping in contact with that- that girl-"
"Mom, will you listen?" Kellin snapped, landing his fist down on the table so the cutlery left lying there jumped a little. He sighed. "That girl is having our child. That's my baby."
Two blank faces blinked back at him. For a moment there was no movement, then in one sudden, jerking one, Tina moved her hand towards Jason's which was already ready to grab hold of it, hard.
"Well," Kellin said, forcing himself to take in another breath. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
His mother twitched a little. "I don't know what to say."
"You always know what to say."
"I think what your mother means," Jason said quietly, "Is that she's a little shocked."
"Shocked," Tina echoed with a strange smile on her face. She lifted a hand to her forehead and sighed. "Oh, God."
"Mom," Kellin started, drawing himself up in his chair, "Before you say anything, I want to say that, that I'm doing everything to help her, and I'm really serious, I really committed to being a good father to this baby, even though things didn't work out between us, I think we're going to be really strong."
"Why didn't things work out between you, huh?" Tina snapped suddenly, apparently with a renewed sense of anger. "How can you be strong with a girl like that?"
"It's not like I had any choice, Mom."
"You always have a choice, Kellin.":
"What, and be the guy that 'knocked her up and left?' That's the choice I should have made."
"I'm not saying that!" She barked. "You should have come to us first. You should have told us first. We could have helped you talk to her. I mean you didn't- you didn't talk to her about the possibility of-"Jesus, Mom, she wanted this baby, who the hell was I to tell her maybe an early trip to the hospital would be best?"
"There are ways of talking about these things, Kellin, ways of discussing them!"
"You mean I should've tried to talk her out of it? What, persuade her? You know what, Mom, fuck, why didn't I try hypnosis?"
"Kellin, I'm putting my foot down. I don't want you to talk to your mother like that."

Kellin leapt to his feet. "You know what, Jason, you're not my Dad, and I don't have to listen to you."
"No, you don't," the other man shot back, standing up to, "But raising your voice isn't helping anybody. It's just making your mother upset."
They both glanced down at the woman hunched over at the table who'd started quietly sobbing.
"I just would've like to have been informed," she gasped, and Kellin watched her for a few moments before, gritting his teeth, he sank back into his chair.
"Mom," he tried in his most soothing voice, "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. If I'd had thought it was a good idea to tell you sooner I would have. I wanted to tell you in person."
"Well, that's very good of you, son," Jason, said, patting his wife gently on the back. "Isn't it, Tina?"
She didn't answer.
"So, how far gone is she?" Jason went on, in a strong, resolute voice.
"Four months."
Tina whimpered from beneath her hand and then pulled it away abruptly. "And is she showing?"
"Yes."
"So, the word really is out," she murmured, "At least I know now..."
Jason surprised Kellin by turning to his wife and saying, "Honey, could you give Kellin and I a minute?"
She looked back at him, clearly confused. "You want to talk with Kellin."
"I think so, yes," Jason replied, nodding, glancing back at Kellin. "Why don't you go and calm down. Make yourself a drink, do your nails. Why don't you go talk with Demi. Some girl time."
She stood up, slowly, and paused, looking at her son with the fear and acceptance that only occurs to a parent once they know their own child is soon going to be feeling the same paternal ache.
"I'll- leave you to it..." She said softly, and left, closing the door quietly behind her.
Jason turned to Kellin, focused on him, and Kellin had the impression the man was pouring himself into him, all his willpower, all his concentration, it was singularly focused on him and his situation, and he knew the older man was going to see through anything but blatant honestly.
"Let me tell you something, son," Jason said, and leaned back in his chair a little, surveying. "I was in the Marines thirty years. You see a lot of crap in that time, I'm telling you, a lot of shit happens. Helps you notice the things that really matter in your life. I know a lot about separating the crap from the gold, son."
Kellin nodded.
"So tell me about the gold in your life right now, Kellin. What in the world matters to you? What's on your mind?"
"Uh," Kellin murmured, and paused. "This baby."
"I smell shit," Jason exclaimed, and leaned forward. "Now I'm not saying it's not gold underneath but you hesitated. Tell me your number one."
Kellin bit his lip, his eyes drifted towards the ceiling.
Jason caught on fast enough. "I can tell you like her, son. It's obvious enough to me. What do your friends think about her?"
"They like her."
"They know you two have been fooling around together?"
Kellin looked down.
"Thought as much. I bet you're still dancing around trying to be friends with Julia, aren't you."
Kellin nodded again.
"You know, you're right. I'm not your Dad- thank God."
Kellin laughed softly.
"But let me caution you. You got a piece of gold in your hand, right there. Demi's a great girl, I could see that a mile off. Julia, now her, that there's fool's gold. Longer you hang around with her, the deeper you're going to get. Your friends, what they're here thinking you're single. And then they're seeing you're spending a lot of time with this girl you have all this history with, and they're putting two and two together. People are dumb, Kellin. The longer you leave it not telling anybody about Demi here the worse it's going to get when you want to."
"Jason, it's not that simple."
"No, son. It is that simple. Take my advice or leave it. You said yourself, you're old enough. But think about your mother, look what happened just now and all you did was hang on a couple extra weeks to tell her."
Kellin offered a rueful kind of smile and watched Jason stand up.
"Now, I'm going to go talk to your Mom," Jason said, reached across to shake Kellin's hand. He took it.

He waited a few moments for the realisation to sink in. He felt deflation and he'd been expecting elation. What he needed now was to bury his face in a flood of black silky hair and talk quietly for a while.
He was interrupted by his cell going off. This time checking the caller ID he hesitated, even lying the phone back down on the table before he slowly picked it up again and answered.
"Hello, Justin."
"Kellin- hey." That voice was already making him itch with annoyance.
"If this is about me missing Julia's appointment, I couldn't help it, alright?"
"Uh, sorry- what?"
"She had some super important scan, I don't know. Obviously I didn't make it. I thought she'd have you checking up on me too."
"What- why?"
"Since you two are so close lately," Kellin muttered.
There was silence on the other end. "Kellin, man, what the fuck, man. I'm just calling to pass on the message about the studio." His tone was clipped now, hostile even.
"The studio? We double booked or something?"
"No," Justin replied, and then, "We got moved. Adam's got some contact out West who owns a studio in LA. We're flying out next week."
Kellin lurched and gripped the corner of the kitchen table. "What?"
"Listen, man, I know you've got a lot going on right now, but so has everybody else. But this is good. Ths guy we've got he's one of the best producers around. We can't miss this."
"Justin," Kellin breathed, "I can't be in Los Angeles for two months. I can't."
"Kellin, everybody is making sacrifices. Adam's got a kid, remember, and a wife-"
"Sacrifices? Don't fucking talk to me about sacrifices."
"Kellin, Jesus fuckign Christ. You're the only one of us who's been like this."
Kellin bit his lip and closed his eyes. "You know things are difficult for me right now."
"Oh, I know. I fucking know because you never stop telling anybody about it."
Kellin laughed. "Oh, so that's what you think."
"Yes," Justin shot back, "Yes, I fucking do. How about this, Kellin: LA is going to be a break for you. LA is going to be good. And as far as your pronblems are concerned, Julia's already arranged to fly out for a couple weeks."
"Oh, she has, has she?" Kellin pushed out a sigh. But she wasn't the woman that was on his mind most.
He gave. "Alright. Whatever. We're going. Gimme a couple days to get my head straight, alright?"
"Whatever," Justin murmured, and fell silent.
Kellin filled it. "Listen, Justin. We're good, right?"
"I guess," Justin replied quietly. "Man, Kellin, I'm here for you, man. You're the one who doesn't seem to get that."
"Whatever," Kellin murmured, eyes fixed on the table now, coloured with disbelief.
"Adam's gonna mail you the details," Justin added, and then hung up. Kellin listened to the buzzing line for a few moments and then dropped his phone onto the table.
"Silence," he muttered.