Don't Hesitate

Demi was standing in the corner looking out at the world over the rim of a champagne glass. Handbag tucked neatly into her elbow, hair pushed neatly over one shoulder, she worried her lip as she watched the familiar faces around her engage with one another with wide eyes and wide smiles. She glanced at her watch. She'd been expecting a call for three hours now and none had come, she'd worn the colour off the keypad of her phone without the amount of checking she did on it, and half the time there was nothing there, just a backlit picture of her with her arms around a smiling nonchalant guy.

She watched as the door to the bar opened, far across from her, the birthday girl stumbled towards the hot air flooding in and engulfed the group; she didn't know who was there. She looked into her glass, the bubbles slowly rising up and bursting at the top, she shook her wrist to re-arrange a few bracelets and took another sip, looking around before she took a seat at on of the table strewn with glitter and confetti and got out her phone once more. Twirling a piece of hair around her finger she browsed, looking at texts she'd already recieved and had already read through twice, humming gently to herself until someone said,
"Have you heard anything lately?"
She jumped and her Blackberry slid from her hands onto the table with a loud clatter. "Kellin," she said with half a smile, blushing, unsure where to look, "I, um-- no. Nothing."
"I'm sorry to hear that." He was bracing himself against the back of a chair, leaning a little over the table. "That can only be good, right?"
Demi nodded, glancing out of the window. "I guess. I should be relaxed about it by now, he's been out there for three weeks already."
"Three weeks isn't such a long time," Kellin offered with a wry smile, taking a step back and pulling the seat towards him; Demi watched out of the corner of her eye as he swung down into it, almost gracefully, in a single, fluid kind of movement, with a kind of controlled practise ease and strength. She caught her breath.
"I know." She flashed him a sunny smile and took another sip out of her glass. "Anyways, where's Julia? She come with you tonight?"
Kellin looked up at her and rolled his eyes a little, nodding. "Yeah."
Demi ran a hand through her hair, trying to stare at the grain of the wood of the table rather than make eye contact with him again. "Things with you guys are good, huh." Waiting for an answer she pushed her phone away from her, and when the screen had gone dark she looked towards him again, slowly, secretively.
"Mm," he said, pushing his fringe from his eyes which caught hers, reverberating with quiet intensity.
Demi leaned over a little and watched the pint-size blonde as she staggered with the quietly hysterical birthday girl to a table. "Looks like someone's having fun."
Kellin turned in his seat, glancing over his shoulder at the two conspiring blondes with their heads pushed together, wordlessly tuning back again. "Doesn't she always."
"I think it's sweet," Demi said in a flat mumble, "Julia's looking out for her, and everything."
"You don't have to pretend to like her," Kellin retorted. Demi was taken aback. They had discussed Julia many times but never as the subject of open hostilities. "She's not top of my list right now either."
"Kellin..." Demi took a nervous sip of her champagne, drained the glass and then stood up. "You want?"
He nodded, eyes darker, brooding, and watched her as she approached a smiling waitress and took a couple of glasses from a tray. He looked intensely at the bottles lined up behind the bar as if he was sizing each one up for later, then back to Demi, who was wearing a black bodycon dress that cinched in all the right places; her hair was loose, her skin was glowing, a rich caramel tan, she'd been in the sun, and, as if it was only the first time the thought had occurred to him he realised he had to tell her, had to tell her if he was her boyfriend he wouldn't be off playing soliders in the sand pit, and stood up to make his way over but fate didn't want in that way.
"Kellin!" He spun around, eyes landing on Justin whose gaze, wavering but locked on his friend's face, said he wasn't the only one who'd had a little too much. "S'up man?"
"You're slurring," Kellin said matter-of-factly, glancing longingly towards the bar.
"Am not."
"Are too. How much you had?"
"Um," Justin said with a shrug, glancing at his bottle. "So Dee looks hot tonight."
"Don't call her that."
"Why? 'Cause it's your little pet name for her?"
"Shut up," Kellin hissed, tearing the bottle from Justin's hand and putting it to his lips.
"Jesus, go easy on it," Justin muttered, eyes flickering across Kellin's features which were rigid, dark, straight.
"No," Kellin replied, shaking his head, wiping his hand across the back of his mouth, "Not tonight, not after--"
"Here we go again," Justin murmured, turning away, holding his hands into the air. "So not in the mood to deal with your-"
"Don't be fucking loud about it, man," Kellin hissed, grabbing Justin's arm and pulling him back. "I'm just saying. How would you feel if you'd had an apartment full of girls like them all day?"
"Lucky."
"You don't get it," Kellin sighed, and finished the bottle. He glanced fleetingly at Demi who'd drifted into conversation with one of those very girls.
"So dump her," Justin said with a shrug. "Break up."
"I can't."
"So quit fuckin' buggin' me about it," Justin hissed with uncharacteristic anger and turned away. "Get your shit together, man."
Kellin's hands ran through his hair, he glanced behind him at Julia and the friend who was quietly sobbing into her shoulder. He looked silently at Justin who was still standing close, pretending to sulk.
"Listen, I'm sorry, Justin, it's just like--"
"Just like what, Kellin?" Justin retorted, squinting at him over his shoulder.
Kellin opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He knew what to say, it was buzzing in his heart, skinny tissue-thin hummingbird wings fluttering in his chest, but unwilling to fly up and out. "I don't know," he said in the end, hopelessly, and Justin smacked him on the shoulder and grinned,
"Man, you need a drink." He squeezed gently, shaking his hair from his eyes. "Seriously, just, don't think about stuff now, go grab a drink, I don't know, chat with Demi, she's looking over at you." Kellin glanced up, eyes meeting briefly with her sunny brown pair before she looked away at whoever she was talking to. He smiled a little. "Go make Julia jealous, I don't fucking know. Doesn't look like she's gonna be hanging round much longer anyways." He went to move away but Kellin caught him by the wrist and pulled him back, bit his lip a little, and said finally,
"Thanks, Justin." Justin shrugged and smiled and wandered away, and as the song changed from a generic dance tune to something a little more low-key, downbeat, Kellin felt his chest loosen and he took one last glance at the girl he'd brought with him in the corner, getting up, now, to lead her hysterically drunk friend out the door, and walked up to the girl he wished he'd brought instead.
"Hey," Demi smiled when he reached her, handing him a glass, "Kellin, this is--"
She was interupted in her gesturing towards the unknown waiter she was talking to by him jumping in and snorting, "Mike. This your boyfriend?" He glanced at Kellin unappreciatively.
Demi gasped. "Oh, um, well we're just--"
"Yeah, that's me," Kellin said in a good-natured burst of recklessness and slipped his arms around Demi's shoulders. He looked down into her face; she was biting her lip, blushing.
"Oh," the guy said, abruptly ditching his tray of champagne on the bar beside them before he slipped past, mumbling, "Best get back to work."
When he was out of ear shot Kellin turned to Demi and snorted,
"You see the look on that guy's face? What an asshole."
"Kellin," Demi hissed, passing a hand across her smiling lips. "You're so--" She cut herself off with a laugh and sipped her champagne, colour rose on her cheeks and she briefly rested her head against his chest.
Kellin instincitvely tightened his arm around her, and after a moment murmured, "You fit well."
"What?" Demi replied quietly, taking another drink as she turned in his arm which dropped away as he said,
"Nothing."
Demi looked up at him through her thick lashes, swinging her hips a little, eyes wide and lucid. "What if we were a couple," she said suddenly, "What d'ya think?"
"What do I think?" Kellin asked, unsure whether he should be looking at her face should it tempt him to pull her closer again. "I think someone's had a little too much champagne."
"Have not," she murmured, shoving him good-naturedly, and he finished his glass of champagne in one gulp and placed the glass on the bar, taking another. Demi was looking down. "That was a stupid thing to say," she muttered.
"No," Kellin said, searching, "No, I mean, if things were different, I guess I could see us--"
"Kellin." Demi held her hand up. "Really, don't."
He pressed his lips together, glanced down at the floor, some more people came into the bar and he felt the cool air rush past him. A silence fell between them, one that could only be broken by the click-clack of stilettos on the polished floor; Kellin turned to look over his shoulder and then was engulfed in a ball of perfume, blonde hair and melodrama.
"Baby, oh my God, shit is going down," she said, throwing her arms round his neck, hanging off him, "Alice is like, soo drunk, she broke up with Darren last night and she's like, so not over it, he's such an asshole, this was meant to be like, her party--"
"I like Darren," Kellin muttered, gently prising her hands from his neck, holding them gently at her side instead. He heard Demi wander off behind him.
"Well, whatever, take his side, I don't care, I'm staying with her tonight."
Kellin's brow creased, his eyes narrowed a little, he sighed, "What? Why?"
"Because she needs me, duh. Chicks before dicks or whatever, baby, don't worry, I can come over and see you tomorrow." She smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips, but his were unresponsive.
She fluttered her eyelashes at him, whining, "Kiss me, baby..." Kellin bit the bullet and brushed his lips against hers, only he could feel the anger driving a wedge between him and that skinny lithe body. He felt her fingertips trace his jaw and then she pulled away, smirking as she slunk away again to the chattering girls gathered by the door.
He turned and looked at Demi who was seated by herself at the table, her phone in her hand, looked at her red lips and her black dress, and nodded his head to himself.