Trying Not to Love You

It had only been 2 days and from the way the doctor explained, I was here for another couple of days, and I couldn't wait to get out of here. Brian and Brendon have been wonderful and have stayed by my side since I have been here but in all honesty, they are driving me crazy. Constantly hovering over me as if I were fragile. I hated it. Luckily Matt and Jimmy convinced them both to go home and rest and come back tomorrow. At first they put up a fight until they realized Both Matt and Jimmy wouldn't budge. At the moment, Jimmy and Matt decided to give me a "Tour" of the hospital, Jimmy's words not mine.

"Over here is this lovely statue to honor the great dinweenie. He was known for slathering butter all over his naked body and running through the streets howling" Jimmy explained pointing at the statue.

"That sounds more like something you would do Jimbo" Commented Matt rolling his eyes.

"I already did that, it was refreshing"

Matt and I stared at him with wide eyes, not sure if he was fucking with us or being serious. After all it is Jimmy. He grinned at us as he continued to push me in the wheel chair at alarming speed now.

"Jesus Jimmy she's already in the hospital let's not injure her more" Matt hollered jogging to keep up with us

"Psh she'll be okay" Jimmy states now running full speed towards the elevator earning a scream from me

"Goddammit Jimmy don't do that!!" I yell clutching my chest.

"You are crazy motherfucker you know that?" Matt comments walking into the elevator.

"Of all the years you have known me, you now realize this?" He asks hitting the button to the basement

"Uh Jimmy that's not the floor where my room is"

"I know just taking a detour is all" Jimmy smiles sweetly at me.

What is that Motherfucker up to?

The elevator doors open and with one quick movement Jimmy shoves Matt out the elevator and quickly closes the door. You could hear Matt yell as the elevator closes.

"What the fuck? Why did you push him out???"

"I thought Mattykins would like to see the morgue is all" Causing my jaw to drop and start to laugh holding my side.

"Oh my god he is so going to kill you!!!"

"Eh I'll just blame it on you " He replies nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders

"You asshole!!"

When the elevator doors opened, Matt was standing in our view not amused.

"The morgue really??

"How the fuck did you beat us up here?" Jimmy asks shocked

"I have my ways you fucker" Matt replies taking my wheelchair out of Jimmy's grasp

"Hey we were having fun!" He pouted.

"No YOU were having fun you crazy fucker" He rolls his eyes as we enter my room. Matt picks me up gently and places me back in the bed.

"You know I can walk. My legs aren't broken"

"I know. I thought it would be faster for you"

"I have to pee so now you can carry me to the bathroom peasant"

"Fuck you I ain't your peasant you asshole" He responds picking me up again and walking me to the bathroom.

"Are you sure about that Peasant?" I laugh closing the door in his face but not missing the look he gave me. I get my business done and open the door.

"You aren't going to carry me back to bed?"

"This "Peasant" is on lunch break" Matt replies using air quotes before flipping through the channels. I pout which he groans rolling his eyes and helps me back to the bed.

"Thank you peasant" I smile kissing him on the cheek causing him to growl muttering under his breath "Bitch"

I chuckle settling myself into bed getting into a comfortable position.

"Knock knock I have a delivery for Miss Kayla" Sadie the cheerful nurse says walking in the room with a flowers and a teddy bear attached to the vase

"Aww look at the bear he's so cute!! Can we name him Pedro?" Jimmy asks excitedly

"Sure Jim" I chuckle looking at the flowers and thanking Sadie for bringing them in before she leaves.

"Look you got a card with it too!!"

"Maybe it's from Urie furie" Matt grinned causing me to flip him off.

"Hey it could be true since he's coming around more often could you image the kids they'd have Mattykins? Kayla's a knockout but Brendon oooh damn he's got it going on!!!"

"Jimmy... I sometimes wonder about you bro" Matt shakes his head as I stare at jimmy with the "What the fuck" Look

"What can I say I got taste" Jimmy z snaps his fingers.

"Anyway.. open it Kayla and see who it's from" Matt urges me. I open the card and instantly my smile fades.

I love and miss you so much mama bear, Give the kids a kiss and hug for me. I'll see you soon. I love you- Jason.

Jason asked me to send you these, He feels horrible for what he did. Every time I call him, he's crying. I hope you see that he loves you so much and he said he's going to get the help he needs.. Please think about your family- Terri

"Are you okay Kayla?" Jimmy asks concerned as Matt looks on. I just stare at the card not knowing exactly what to say.

"Let me see that card" Jimmy gently pulls the card from my grasp. His expression changes in which Matt stands up more concerned now.

"Are you fucking kidding me??? She has the balls to send Kayla a card from HER SON???????" Matt roars causing a huge commotion which sends a few nurses into the room.

"Is everything alright?"

"No it's not fucking alright. The stupid fuck who put her in the hospital had his "mommy" send Kayla this. I'm calling the police station there has to be a way for that stupid fuck and his family to not contact Kayla at all" Matt replies picking up the card the policemen gave me the other day and stepping outside of the room. I tried very hard to not lose it but I failed. Big fat tears started to stream down my face as i choked back sobs.

"Hey it's okay he's not mad at you doll" Jimmy softly replies sitting down next to me as a nurse rubs my arm.

"I know but I feel guilty, if I had just" I didn't even get to finish my statement when Jimmy placed a finger to my lips to stop me.

"Don't.. Do not blame yourself for what he did. He is the one who put his hands on you. Even if you pissed him off, he should have walked away. You did nothing wrong, okay?"

"I just wish i didn't make things so difficult for everyone. You all are taking time away from things you need to do just to be here and check up on me"

"If we didn't want to be here, we wouldn't okay? Stop being so damn stubborn" He gently pulls me to his side as I bury my face in his neck.

"I don't know where I'd be without you guys" I sniffled.

"Up the creek without a paddle?" He grins causing me to laugh which hurt pretty badly and got Jimmy's attention again. damn that fucker

"Can Kayla have some pain meds? She's in pain and is once again being a stubborn"

"Of course let me go order some and I'll be back soon" Sadie softly smiles leaving the room with the other nurse.

I lay back down and look up at the ceiling. I have amazing friends and family who would do anything for the kids and I. Someday I hope I'll be able to return the favor.