Trying Not to Love You

Love...a four letter word. Can happen to you when you least expect it. Sometimes the outcome is great and then there is my situation, which is pretty fucked up. I love my best friend but unfortunately he has no clue how i feel. To make matters worse, He is with someone who he is completely crazy about. Did I forget to mention he is a very famous band? Brian Elwin Haner aka Synyster Gates from the band Avenged Sevenfold. is my best friend. They just returned home from tour and is having a huge welcome home party. Everyone they know is here. Family, Friends, Managers, roadies, pretty much everyone. Including the girlfriends. Seeing her hang all over him, just made the knife dig into my heart deeper.

"Hey woman your doing it again," Zacky says waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry Z," I reply.

"You have been doing that a lot lately woman, what gives K?," he asks with concern.

"I'm okay Z just a little tired nothing to worry about," I reply with a fake smile

"Well take some shots with me and relax and have some fun!!," He says handing me a shot of Jack Daniels. We take a couple more shots before he stands up walking past me as he pats me on the back to look for his girlfriend Gena. I can't help but notice Michelle and Bri laughing and practically hanging all over one another. I stare at them for a few minutes seeing how happy the two of them look before standing up to head on the back patio to have a smoke.

I don't understand what he see's in miss priss to be honest. Don't get me wrong Michelle is well.. Michelle. Everyone loves her and her sister Val but she just gets under my skin when it comes to Brian. Maybe it's because she's with him, he's hers, its her in bed with him, him telling her how much he loves her. I can't hate her if i'm really honest with myself but how i wish it were me.. I seriously need another shot before i make myself go crazy...

"Nice night huh?," a voice behind me comments as i jump turning around to see Brian standing there.

"Always is in sunny California," I reply looking up at Brian with a sarcastic grin as he chuckles and lights his cigarette.

"Glad to be home Bri?,"

"Fuck yeah it's good to be home surrounded by friends and family," he replies sitting in the swing next to me.

I smile and lean back looking at the stars again lost in thought.

"You alright Booboo? He asks saying my nickname we have had since we were kids. (I was his booboo and he was my yogi )

"Yeah Yogi i'm fine, just happy to to have you guys home," i reply with a small smile."

"Yo Brian where the fuck are ya?," Matt yells from inside the house.

"I better go see what he wants," Brian says as he puts out his cigarette. I nod as he starts to walk in the house but stops and turns to look at me..

"I'm glad you came out tonight Kayla, I've really missed you,"He says sending me a smile before turning around and walking back into the house.

"I've missed you too Bri," I whisper back.. "boy did i miss you"